The Exact Moment...

Author's notes...

1- Not a lot of sex in this story

2- I didn't use an editor. All mistakes are mine.

3- Feel free to comment. I love constructive criticism. I liked it because...I hated it because...I feel you could do this better...I try to respond to as many as I can. That is, unless you are like this guy who left this comment on my last story...

"The "nerd" couldn't even get his own revenge; he needed the mob to do it for him. Between that and the cockamamie plan to divorce Jennifer, I damn near lost my shit. This was beyond stupid; it was so idiotic that it lowers the IQ of anyone who reads it. Never mind the time I lost reading this ridiculous piece of shit, I want the 25 IQ. Points back."

If you are going to hide behind an Anon and just blast it with no insight. It will be ignored. Hope you enjoy.

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The exact moment I lost my mind.

This is going to be weird for me to say and probably just as weird for you to hear but I can remember the exact moment I lost my mind. Now I am no psychiatrist so maybe I didn't technically lose my mind but I do know that in that instant, I only cared about one thing. I no longer cared about myself, my wife, or my job. I fully gave up on common human courtesy as well. I remember it like it was yesterday.

But I am getting a bit ahead of myself. My name is James. Jimmy to my friends. I married Mary 22 years ago. I am not going to go into a long winded diatribe about how we met and fell in love since it isn't pertinent for the story. There are 3 background things to need to know to fully grasp this story.

The first is that I am not what you would call a Man's man. At 5'11 and 200lbs I certainly have the body for it. What I mean is that I don't do what you would call manly things. I can't change my oil or fix things around my house. I don't play sports although I do watch them on TV. I think this stems from the fact that I didn't have a man around the house growing up. My dad did a few tours overseas when I was in my developmental years. I only had my Mom, Aunt, Sister and her friends to guide me. By the time my Dad got a permanent spot stateside I was already set in my ways. I remember him asking me one day to help him fix the deck to our backyard. I was around 10 years old. He took out his trusty tool box and from it he pulled the family hammer. It was a wooden handled hammer passed down from his grandfather to his father. It had our family name, "Watt" carved into the side. After missing about 25 straight nails, he took the hammer back from me and suggested I help my mother finish making dinner. As I walked towards the house I took one look back and saw my dad just shake his head. He shook it in disgust.

The second thing you need to know is that I don't handle confrontation well. Probably for the same reasons that I don't think I am manly. I start to sweat, get dizzy, nauseous and sometimes have a full blown panic attack. My wife has tried tiredly over the years to help me overcome this and nothing has helped.

The last thing you need to know is that we are normal garden variety couple. We eat out about once a week. We have a 19 year old daughter named Cindy who is finishing up her first year of college when my story starts. Even our sex life is pretty normal. One to two times a week. We are basically the couple who fades into the background. We aren't ugly but we aren't models. We are kind of just there.

Now that you have the info you need...I can start my story.

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It was a normal breezy day in the middle of March. I got home, parked my car in the garage and entered the house through the kitchen. My wife Mary is usually in the kitchen making dinner but today she was just sitting at the kitchen table with an almost empty glass of wine. I joked that it was still kind of early in the day to be getting plastered on wine. That's when she asked to me to sit and that we needed to talk.

"Honey, I want you to know that I love you very much. Probably more today than the day I married you. My love for you keeps getting stronger everyday" she began. "I want you to fully understand that before I tell you what I am going to tell you. I feel all at once would be best. You know, like ripping off a band aid. I am just going to say it and you can ask me questions or tell me whatever as soon as I am done. Ok?"

I croaked out an "ok" but I could already feel my palms getting sweaty. I knew this was going to be bad news. She had started off pretty much the same way she had 13 years ago when she told me that Dad had passed away. She took a big swig of wine and topped off her glass before she continued.

"There is no easy way to say this so I'll just say it. I have been having an affair for the past 2 months. We met at the grocery store if you can believe it. It started innocent enough. Donny was giving me compliments every time he saw me. Telling my how beautiful I am and how he hoped someday he could meet a woman like me. I won't insult you with the details but we ended up in bed together after a few weeks. It started as just sex but I've grown to like Donny. He has told me he loves me. I am not sure if I love him but I do care about him and his well-being."

I started getting dizzy and lightheaded. How could she be cheating on me? I found it quite odd she mentioned his well-being. I mean who talks like that. Sweat started to roll down my face. I had to look around to try to focus. That's when I saw it. Or should I say them. Two suitcases packed and lined up neatly side by side in my living room.

"You're leaving me?"

He eyes followed my gaze and she saw what I was looking at.

"Heavens no, I am not leaving you. I want you to remember what I just told you. That I love you more now than the day we met, even the day we married. I love you too much to ever leave you. I couldn't even stand the thought."

I was totally confused in addition to being on the verge of a full blown panic attack. I knew the signs and I was showing every last one of them.

"Are you kicking me out?" I managed to squeak out. It was quite difficult given how dry my mouth was.

"No. That is not it at all. This is your house honey. This is our house. We will always share a bed. You will always be at the head of the table. You don't need..."

She was cut off by the sound that pushed me over the edge into the worst panic attack I had ever had. The upstairs toilet had flushed. I turned my head towards her. She at least had enough of a guilty conscience to not look me in the eye. The man who was stealing my wife was in my house.

"Donny lost his apartment. He needed a place to stay until he could get back on his feet."

I tried to get up to run away but my traitorous legs gave out on me the minute I tried to stand. I collapsed on the kitchen floor. I couldn't breathe. I was clawing at my tie so hard I was starting to draw blood at my neckline.

"Oh shit. Donny! Quick! Help me!"

Right before I passed out I felt him put his arms underneath mine and say "I got you buddy".

When I opened my eyes I was laying on my couch in the living room. A wet towel was on my forehead. My shirt and tie were gone and I was laying there in my wife beater. I called out for Mary.

"She went to the laundry room to throw your shirt and some towels in the wash. There was a little bit of blood and vomit to clean up. I am Donny by the way."

I must have given him some look because he turned away from me and faced the window facing the front yard.

"Look man, I get that you hate me. I would hate me too. But I love her. If the only way I can have her is to share her, then that's what I'll do."

Mary came back into the room and sat on the couch where I was laying. Donny excused himself and retired to the guest room where he was staying.

"James, I don't know what is going on between me and Donny. He loves me. I love you. I am not sure how I feel about him. Maybe I am polyamorous. You know, one of those people who can love lots of people at the same time. Maybe it's just a phase. I don't know. I do know I can't live without you. I need you in my life. But I need to play this out as well. I would have done so without telling you but he lost his place and needs a place to stay. I know my hiding it wouldn't have made it any better but I didn't want to hurt you."

I turned away from her and said "I need time".

"I understand. Your place is at the head of the table and in bed with me. Donny is staying in the guest room. Whatever we can do to make the transition into...whatever this is, easier just say the word. I love you dear."

She kissed my forehead and went on up to bed. I just crashed on the couch and just stared at the ceiling till 5 a.m. I snuck upstairs and grabbed work clothes out of the closet. I slowed down past the guest bedroom on my way to the bathroom and I could head Donny lightly snoring. My vision started to go blurry and I rushed to the bathroom. I got dressed and got out of there as fast as I could.

For the next week my M O was the same. I got up before the sun and left for work. I stayed at work till after everyone else left. I ordered some delivery for dinner and got home passed midnight when I knew Mary and Donny would already be asleep. I left word with my secretary that she was not to put my wife's call through. She tried calling my cell repeatedly and she texted me nonstop.

"Honey, are you ok?" "We need to talk about this." "Why are you still at work?"

I texted her back some bullshit excuses about how we got really busy at work and they needed me to stick around. We all knew I was avoiding the house situation. This worked well for a week until I got a visit from my boss.

"Watt, we have a problem. Security called me up complaining. They say you are here at 5:30 every morning this week and staying till midnight. They run a skeleton crew outside the hours of 9-5. They don't have the manpower outside of those hours to watch the parking lot and stuff like that. It's a liability if you get mugged or worse. I don't know what kind of problems you have that are keeping you from wanting to go home but you can't hide out here."

I told him I understood and that I would go back to my regular hours. I declined his invitation to talk about it. How do I tell my boss that my wife has moved her boyfriend into my house? I would be the laughing stock. I needed a new strategy. I decided tonight to go home and see what happens. I came into the house and Donny was on the couch watching TV and Mary was in the kitchen.

"I didn't expect to see you home. You get that problem at work under control?" she asked with hopeful eyes.

"Not sure" I responded. "Boss told me I could stop staying so late and just try to handle it in a normal 9-5 fashion."

She told me to go make myself comfortable and that dinner would be ready in a few minutes. She would set the table and call us when it was ready. I walked into the living room and that bastard was in my recliner. I sat on the couch. I figured I would try to be upbeat.

"Hey Donny...What are you watching?"

"Sportscenter. They are doing a piece on the Yankees. God I hate them."

"I grew up in NY. I am a Yankee fan" I told him.

"No offense meant. I hate you guys because you win all the time. I would trade six of my guys for one Jeter."

"Dinner is ready you two" Mary called out.

By the time I got the kitchen table, Donny had already taken a seat...Next to my wife. My place was sitting across my wife and her boyfriend. I couldn't take it. I told them I had something to take care of and that I would be up later and made a run for the basement, locking the door behind me. After just standing there for twenty minutes I decided to make myself as comfortable as I could. I pulled out a beach lounge chair and set it up. My phone beeped as my wife texted me...

"You ok?"

"Yes. I am just working on something. I might be awhile. You should eat without me. You should probably head to bed without me also."

"Ok. You work on what you need to work on. Take all the time you need. I do miss sleeping next to you. Come up to bed when you're done?"

I texted her back that I will see and then turned off my phone. I sat in the chair and just looked around. The wall unit that the chair faced was torturing me. Boxes of Xmas decorations, boxes of photo albums and things like that. Everything to remind me of the good times my wife and I had. Just me and her. I turned 180 degrees to get away from all that stuff and looked straight at the one thing that was worse to look at. It was a brown box that was about 2 foot square with 2 words in black marker on the side. "Dad's Stuff."

This box was the only thing that dad left me in his will besides his warehouse. Near the end of his life he bought a warehouse in the industrial part of town so he had more space to work on his cars and his projects. It was in a part of town that was now very run down. I haven't been there in almost 10 years. I took the box down and opened it up. 3 of his work shirts were on top, followed by about a half dozen car magazines with pages folded and stuff circled. Might as well have been written in German for all I could understand it. His folded American flag was next along with his dog tags. At the bottom of the box was his final taunt. His tool box. I opened it up and took out the family hammer. I laid in the lounge chair and ran my fingers up and down the carved out letters that spelled "Watt".

I had dozed off. I don't know how long I slept but as I wiped the crud from my eyes I knew I didn't wake up on my own accord. It started off really low. I could hear the noise but didn't know where it was coming from. I stood up and pulled off the cover to the vent and I could then make out what the sound was. I could hear Mary.

"Oh...Oh...that's it...right there...you like that tight little ass don't you...god your dick feels so good...fuck me harder...pull my hair...fuck...you're gonna make me cum...ugh...ugh...UGH...OH FUCK I'M CUMMING..."

I sat back in the lounge chair. I clutched the hammer to my chest and cried myself back to sleep.

It had been 4 weeks since Donny had moved in. True to her word, my wife had left me alone to sort stuff out...for the most part. There were still the little talks she wanted to have, reminding me how much she loved me, how much she wished I would return to our bedroom and how she wanted to make love to me...or fuck me, depending on how she felt that day. I hadn't given her as much as a kiss since the day of that talk in our kitchen. My life had been relegated to working and then coming home, hiding in the basement till they both went to sleep and then I came up and slept on the couch. I had a lounge chair set up down there with a small fridge and a radio to listen to the Yankee games. I had also been listening to them fuck twice a week for the last 3 weeks. No, I am not one of those guys who got off on it. For me, it was more like a punishment. Punishment for what I am not exactly sure. Maybe I felt the need to be punished for not giving her what she needed. Maybe I felt I needed to be punished for pushing her into the arms of another man. Maybe I felt the need to punish myself for not stopping it.

I opened the vent to get my punishment and at first I thought I had heard moaning. But when I listened closely I realized it wasn't moaning. My wife was sobbing. I listened intently to the conversation she had with Donny.

"I don't know what to do Donny. I love him so much. I didn't realize this would hurt him this badly. He won't talk to me. He doesn't spend any time with me. He barely even looks at me and he hasn't touched me in 4 weeks. I don't mean just sexually either. I mean he hasn't initiated any touching at all. He doesn't kiss me when he gets in from work. He doesn't stroke my hair. He doesn't hug up against me when I wash the dishes. It's like I have lost my husband. It's worse than that because I still see him every day. What am I going to do?"

"Come on Mary. The guy will come around. This had to be one shock to his system. But it's like I told you, he has been relying on you for so long that that is all he knows. He comes home and hides in the basement because you are not there to lead him to anything else. Now why don't you take off that teddy and I can make you forget all about him."

"Is that all you think about? I am losing my husband, the man I love and all you want to do it fuck?"

"You may love him Mary, but I love you. And right now I would love to see you without that teddy."

"If you want to fuck so badly, why don't you go fuck yourself" My wife yelled. There were some shuffling noises and a door slammed loudly. Just before I put the cover on the vent I heard one last statement.

"That fucking Jimmy" Donny said with hate in his voice. For the first time in 4 weeks, a smile escaped my lips.

6 weeks after Donny moved in, things started coming to a head in my household. My wife was annoyed most of the time. The rest of the time she spent crying in her room. Donny was annoyed and probably sexually frustrated as they had only fucked once in the last 2 weeks (at least from what I could hear). I was living status quo, almost as if I didn't exist. I still resorted to hiding in my basement. But this night I had something to ask my wife.

"Mary, can I talk to you for a second" I asked her. She was shocked. Not only was I not hiding but I was initiated a conversation.

"Jimmy, you can ask me anything."

"Well, Cindy is due home from college next week, after her finals. I was wondering what you are going to tell her about Donny."

"Gee, I hadn't really thought about that. I guess I would tell her the semi truth. That Donny is a friend that we are helping out through a tough time and he is staying in the guest room. I think I would leave everything else out."

"OK. I was just curious" I said as I started to head back towards my basement. Just before I got there my wife had a parting shot.

"I am more worried about what I am going to tell her about you hiding in the basement and sleeping on the couch."

I knew what she was trying to do. She knew I loved my daughter and wouldn't want to put our problems on her. My wife thought this was her way of worming me back into our bedroom. She might have been right if faith...or in this case Donny...hadn't intervened.

I was in my office, having lunch when my secretary knocked and then came in.

"Mr. Watt, there is a man out here who says his name is Donny and that he has to see you right away. He says that it's important and that it's a family matter. He looks a little angry. Should I send him in or should I call security?"

"Send him in but should you hear any kind of commotion call security immediately."

Donny walked in looking pissed at the world. I offered him a seat and he declined.

"Listen Jimmy, we got to talk. Man to man. Be at this address at 7pm sharp. I'll be there waiting for you so don't be late" he said, while handing me a business card. I quickly scanned the card and realized that this address was a few towns over and not the best of neighborhoods. OK, the neighborhood was a shithole.

"Donny, you're here. I'm here. Just say what you have to say" I said, starting to sweat. I figured as difficult as this talk might be, it was better for me here, at my job with security nearby, then some sketchy out of the way place.

"Just be there" he said as he turned and walked out.

As soon as he left I looked up the address on Google. I discovered that he wanted me to meet him at a dive bar. The reviews of the place ranged from stay the hell away to not unless you bring your shotgun. Something told me that tonight was not going to be my night.

I got to the bar promptly at 7pm. I was right. It was quite a shithole. One waitress looked about 8 months pregnant, had a fresh black eye and a cigarette hanging from her lips. There were bikers and a few guys who looked like they were just taking a break from cooking meth. Donny seemed in a much more cheerful mood as he waved me over to the booth he was sitting in.