The Eye of the Beholder

Wearing matching bra and panties made me feel special. As I stood at the mirror blow-drying my hair into soft waves, I marvelled that there were no straps on the bra. Sure, I wouldn't have been able to run or play sports in it, but it gave enough support that I felt safe.

I'd never even suggested to my mother that I have my hair and make-up done by professionals for the wedding. Instead, I watched tutorials online and had practised how to apply perfect eyeshadow to hooded eyes and where to place the blusher so that my already round cheeks didn't look even rounder.

It took a while, but eventually, I was thrilled with the result. I knew that, until I left the cottage and was judged by others, I could at least judge myself as being beautiful. Well, perhaps beautiful was a stretch, but I felt okay with how I looked.

Stepping into the dress and fastening the gold shoes around my ankles, I was thrilled with the result. I grabbed my phone to snap a pic before remembering it was still dead. I had a little time so decided to plug it in for a few minutes whilst I changed my earrings. As I was about to grab my phone and snap a picture to send to the girls, there was a knock at the door.

"Shit. Wow! Davina. You look stunning, but I take it you haven't heard?" Scott was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

I must have looked perplexed. My phone had charged enough to turn on, but I hadn't received any messages that I'd heard. "Sorry?"

"There you are my gorgeous, beautiful niece!" Aunt B was striding up the path to the cottage wearing what looked like a silk patchwork kimono. "What a kerfuffle! Isn't it marvellous!"

By now I figured I had drunk more than one bottle of wine, and I was in an alternate reality.

"Hi, I'm Scott." Scott held out his hand to my aunt, "I was just about to tell her, as I think her fucked-up parents didn't even bother letting her know."

"I'm right here! What's happened?"

"The wedding's off." Scott said all matter-of-factly looking to gauge my reaction.

"You couldn't write about it, it's just so karmic!" Aunt B started, "My stupid sister woke up early and her idiot husband wasn't in bed with her, so she got up and knocked on her son's door, only Christine the bridesmaid answered wearing one of Daniel's t-shirts. So, she screams, and next thing her husband's scrambling out of the bride's room trying to put his pants on."

"The fuck?" This indeed sounded like a bad rom-com, or a second-rate, if there was such a thing, porno. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

"The official story is Debbie is unwell, and the wedding's been postponed." Scott was trying to be diplomatic.

"Is Mum okay?" I asked, unsure of where my concern had come from.

"Oh yes, my sister's thriving on it, but Debbie's mother is out for blood. If Debbie's brother hadn't woken up and walked out on it all, I think it would've just been laughed about, and it would all be carrying on. Simon's down there harping on about how immoral de Duchy men are!"

Simon, that was the name of Debbie's brother.

"A bit hypocritical when his sister was sleeping with her future father-in-law the night before the wedding!" Scott grinned. "Anyway, I came to see if you wanted to grab a drink and perhaps ask for some popcorn and sit at the bar and watch it all go down. I can't believe they didn't bother telling you. You look stunning."

Scott looked sincere. I was still trying to process the fact that my father and brother had been cheating. I'd never even contemplated it before but wondered what else I didn't know about my family. I mean, shoddy real estate deals were one thing, but I hardly wanted to think about my dad or brother even having sex.

"Is there anything that needs doing?" I asked, still standing in the doorway to my cottage.

"No. There's just guests arriving that need to be told, and they can stay and have dinner, seeing all the food's here," Scott replied.

I was still unsure of how to take Scott. He seemed fairly neutral about the situation, but I wondered if he was embarrassed for my idiot brother or proud of him. Even though a drink was the last thing I wanted, after Aunt B's suggestion again, I agreed and walked down the path towards the bar.

~*~*~*~*~

Scott

There's a German word for things that turn out in a karmic way, schadenfreude, or something. It was exactly how I felt when I turned up for breakfast at the appointed time and found only Debbie's father present, reading the Saturday paper. He told me Debbie wasn't well and that the wedding was going to be postponed.

I went in search of Daniel, only to find he'd left. I thought. as best man, I might have deserved a call or something, but it didn't really bother me. It didn't stop me texting my parents, letting them know the wedding was off and they needn't bother making the trip. Danielle had already been onto my mother, who told me what a sad state of affairs it was.

Yep, she used the word affairs. There was nothing I could do, and the round of golf Daniel had planned was thankfully aborted, so I decided to go for a walk around the vineyard. I was still angry on Davina's behalf. I'd knocked on her door after the dinner had finally finished, but she hadn't answered even though she was in there and I could hear her singing.

When I lived in Minneapolis I'd gone out with a larger woman. She had a young son, and her ex had done a number on her self-confidence. She wasn't after anything permanent, and either was I, but it was fun to catch up and the sex was amazing. I'd only heard from her the week before when she messaged me to say she'd met someone, and they were moving in together. I knew she was never my forever, but still, hearing of exes moving on made me wonder where I'd gone wrong.

Sure, I was still this side of thirty, just, but my parents had been married in their early twenties. It took them fifteen years to have a baby that was born alive. I know the number miscarriages and two stillbirths did on my mother. I was the seventeenth pregnancy. When I was eighteen, my parents sat me down and told me the truth. I was conceived via a donor embryo.

My parents were older when I was born, but they had forged a strong marriage through their struggles. Yes, they were disappointed that I chose to pursue architecture, and we had drifted apart, but they never appeared mean or callous like Davina's parents.

On my walk, I came across a stunning rose garden on a rise that overlooked miles and miles of vines. I wondered how wind didn't batter the flowers, but there appeared to be protection from some well-placed trees.

My Grandma Rose grew roses. She told me it was in her name, and I believed her. Grandpa Tom had been killed in Vietnam after being conscripted. Grandma had never married again, but always spoke so fondly of her late husband. It was her death that saw me leave for overseas. I'd wanted to keep her house and begged my mum to try and work out a way of keeping it in the family, but my uncle had refused and said it should be sold, no doubt spurred on by my father.

I hadn't visited the house since I'd returned home but decided that I would do so in the near future if only to see if her garden still stood and perhaps try and take some photos.

Whereas my parents and grandma had been on my mind on my walk that found me in the rose garden, it was Davina on my mind on the way back. Her smile from the café the day before was tattooed on my brain. The roundness of her cheeks, and her dainty nose, plus, across the room, I could see she had natural eyelashes that went on for days.

Knocking on her door upon my return I was almost left speechless when she appeared dressed to attend a wedding. She looked divine. Her dark hair cascaded across her shoulders in floaty waves. Her dress was a dark pink, almost a red, that covered one shoulder before flowing down. I've got no idea what she'd done with make-up, but it made her beauty shine.

"Shit. Wow! Davina. You look stunning, but I take it you haven't heard?" Classy, Scott, pure class.

Another woman was walking towards us who introduced herself as Aunt B, and I took to be Danielle's sister. After relaying the stories to Davina and not being surprised that her family hadn't told her the wedding was off, we made our way down towards the bar. Davina kept saying she'd change, but neither Aunt B nor I would let her.

"It's a beautiful dress, darling. Did your friend design it?" Aunt B had threaded her arm through her niece's.

"Yeah, it's one of Sabine's, and Marnie designed the lingerie."

Lingerie. That had my body taking attention. Friends had always told me you were a boob or a bum man, but I was both. Although I couldn't tell what her bum looked like in the dress, her boobs looked spectacular. Last night she wore a wrap dress that showed off cleavage, but today, the dress simply hinted at the amazingness underneath.

"Don't worry that they didn't tell you--I wasn't even told it was off until I came down for breakfast." I was still amazed at the situation we found ourselves in.

"Yeah, well, I knew my family's business morals were on the lower side, so I shouldn't be surprised their personal ones are too." Davina shook her head as I held the door open to the bar area.

"Oh, darling. Your father's been having affairs since before you were born, and my sister knows all about them and has done nothing. How was the rehearsal dinner?"

"It was totally fucked up," I stated before Davina could open her mouth. "Davina was treated as rubbish and made the butt of their jokes.Their behaviour was disgusting."

Davina's eyes flew wide open, and she was clearly shocked by my statement.

"Yeah, well, same shit, different day. You know what they're like, Aunt B."

"Just remember, darling, they're the shit ones, not you. Now...a bottle of red?"

"I drank a bottle last night when I got back to my room and my head has only just started to clear." Davina bit her lip and looked sheepish.

"I'm happy to start with sparkling water," I suggested.

We all sat and watched as Priscilla spoke to people about the "postponement." It was lovely getting to know Davina's Aunt B. She was hilarious, quipping about what other guests were wearing and telling a long story about the vase she'd bought the happy couple as a gift, but would now return as it was so disgusting, she couldn't think about giving it to anyone else.

"I went for a walk earlier and came across a stunning rose garden past the vines, on an escarpment overlooking the area," I offered as Aunt B went over to say hello to some of her family friends who had arrived.

"I found it yesterday. It's gorgeous, isn't it? I met the vigneron and his dog, and he directed me there. Said it was his and his wife's favourite spot." Davina's smile lit up her face.

"Tom finally told a guest about the garden then!" The lady serving our drinks slid our empty glasses behind the bar. "It's such a wonderful spot."

"I couldn't get over how wonderful it smelt when I was there this morning." My memories had carried the scent with me.

"Our daughter's been blind since birth and is getting married in a fortnight. The ceremony is going to be up there, and I wanted something special for her."

"That's such a lovely gesture. Tom, is it, your husband? He said it had been a favourite spot for both of you for thirty years." Davina was clearly not faking interest with this woman.

"I suspect it's where our three children were conceived, but you didn't hear that from me! Now, more drinks? How about I put together a picnic basket for you two? We've got so much food from the wedding, and you, my dear, look siready to party."

"She does, doesn't she?" I smiled, and hoped Davina was finally seeing that I had no intentions of following in her family's callous treatment of her. "What do you say, Davs? Picnic with me?"

"Sorry, you two. Had to speak to Monnie and Harry over there. Tiresome people. Anyway, I was invited to a party in the city tonight which I turned down, but if I leave now, I can still make it. You two look like you can have fun without me." Aunt B was a burst of energy as she flitted back to us, kissing Davina on the cheek.

"It's all good, Aunt B. Perhaps we could do lunch if you're in town this week?"

"I'll check my roster and flick you a text, darling. Are you two staying here, or heading back to town tonight too?"

"Well, Aunt B, I think they're preparing a picnic for the two of us to enjoy in the gardens."

I couldn't miss the glint in Aunt B's eye as she said her farewells and hugged her niece, along with the wink she left me as she told me to take care of Davina. I had little doubt Davina needed to be cared for, but she did need someone to show her how special she was, and I hoped that that evening, that person could be me.

~*~*~*~*~

Davina

Aunt B had a way of making everything look so much better than it really is. I've often told Sabs and Marns that I want to be Aunt B when I grow up, but that had been reinforced this afternoon.

I wonder how embarrassed I should be for my family, Aunt B excluded, of course, and come up with the fact that I'm not like them at all. I've chosen to build my life away from them. My therapist and I have talked a lot about me actually cutting them off. After this stunt, I thought I might just do that.

It's so clear that I mean little to any of them. Although I am still wary of Scott's motives, I'd begun to let my guard down a little.

"I'm going to get changed. There's no way these shoes will make it up the escarpment." We had to walk past our cottages after being given the large picnic basket, a blanket and a lantern.

"Can you just change your shoes? I mean, I never want to tell anyone what to wear, but that dress suits you and I was going to grab my camera and perhaps steal a few shots."

I couldn't remember ever being so indecisive before in my life. I knew the dress looked great and it would be a shame not to wear it. I mean, I knew there would be few other opportunities after today. But on the other hand, my shoulder was exposed, and I was still getting used to the feeling of the extra skin on display. I mean, I know it's just a shoulder, but this was still a new experience.

Slipping out of the gold sandals, my feet were already relieved. I tied the laces on my runners and grabbed a denim jacket, in case it got cooler later on.

"You changed?" I came outside my cottage to see Scott standing in a jacket and tie, although still wearing the jeans that hugged his thighs so well.

"I figured I should at least make an effort." Scott smiled.

It suddenly dawned on me. I think Scott was treating this as a date. I hoped that by asking Scott what he'd been up to since he left school would give him time to just talk, but he always managed to draw me into the conversation.

"I mean, I loved living in London, but it was always raining, or so it seemed. Have you travelled much?"

"Not really. So how long were you there for?"

"Eighteen months in the end. So, if you haven't travelled, what have you been doing with yourself?"

This interest in me shocked me. Surely this wasn't the same Scott who hung around my brother and teased me when I was growing up. "I run a shop with a friend."

"That sounds interesting. What do you sell?" Scott had the picnic basket hooked on one arm, whilst the other carried the blanket and lantern.

"Just clothes. It's not much, not like being an architect."

"But you're a businesswoman. Tell me more about your boutique."

Boutique? Sabs always referred to Curvilicious as a boutique, but to me, it was simply a shop. I talked about meeting Sabine and Marnie and how we had grown from a solely online presence to a bricks-and-mortar shop. I started the rant that Sabs and Marns knew well about sustainability and how fast fashion was a blight on society.

"It's always fascinating learning about sustainability in other areas. My latest project is looking at new social housing and how to make it more affordable for the consumer. I mean, it's so much more than solar panels and rainwater tanks. It starts with materials that will last over time."

Our conversation morphed and Scott listened with intent when I talked about how natural fibres were not always preferable to manufactured fibres because, for instance, the water requirements to grow cotton.

Finding ourselves in the rose garden, Scott laid out the blanket on the lush patch of grass. We sat and nibbled on the beautiful spread that had been packed for us. At one stage, Scott produced his camera and started clicking away. Most of the time, it pointed away from me, capturing different aspects of the garden, but every so often, I'd notice it trained on me.

I'd never been one to have my photo taken. It probably stemmed back to horrid school photos where I always stood out with the short hair that my mother insisted I sport, to me being the largest in our class. My brother went to an all-boys school, but I simply went to the local high school. I've no doubt wherever I attended school, I would have been teased, and I'm not sure it would have been worse where I was or not.

The sun had begun its descent into the horizon, painting hues of purples and pinks across the sky. The mild spring afternoon had given way for a cooler evening. We'd been up here for hours, and yet time had barely appeared to move.

"Wow, that's so beautiful." Scott had snapped a photo of me putting on my jacket against the backdrop of the sunset and gazed at the image.

He held out his camera, and on the small screen I had to agree with him. He'd managed to catch me smiling, my hair floating behind me as I was framed with roses in the foreground and the sunset behind me.

Hearing the quadbike in the distance broke the spell. "Rufus, you bloody mongrel. Come back here."

Rufus had found us and was all over me, seeking pats and cuddles.

"Oh Miss, I'm so sorry." Tom had appeared by this stage. "He got out and ran off. Nancy said she'd sent you up here for a picnic. At least let me take the basket back and save you carrying it?"

"It's fine! He's a beautiful boy, aren't you, Rufus?" Rufus knew he was the bestest boy around, even though he also knew he was in trouble for running off.

Tom apologised profusely for interrupting us. I was glad he had as I felt I was living in an alternate reality. I was not the girl who attracted the sexy Scotts of this world. The happiness I'd seen in the photo had to be an illusion, an act of the camera to capture what really wasn't there and really didn't reflect my reality.

Scott was a friend of my brother, and there was no way Daniel would approve of Scott and me spending time together.

"We should head back." I went to stand from the blanket after Tom and Rufus had left.

"Look!" Scott grabbed my hand and pointed at the sky, "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." I wasn't familiar with what Scott was on about and must have looked confused. "It's an old poem where you make a wish upon the first star you see each night. It was one of my mum's things to do."

"Do you get on well with your parents?" I asked, again lying on the blanket staring at the sky.

"We don't have the best relationship, no." Scott seemed pensive. He told me about how they were disappointed he didn't enter the family business or follow in their footsteps and how he wanted to escape the lifestyle they had.

"You don't have brothers or sisters, do you?"

"No." Scott had sat up on the blanket and was playing with a blade of grass, slowly twirling it between his fingers. "I was, well, sort of, adopted."

Scott explained the story of his conception and his parents struggles with infertility and how this had ultimately shaped him when he was told of his conception when he was older. There was a vulnerability in his words, and he told me he'd never told anyone else this story.