The First Ninety Days Ch. 02

"Yeah," said Caitlyn.

"Maybe she'll believe it now," Jon said, "since you two have so kindly proven it."

"Hopefully she will," Gerald said. "Because you're right, Jon. No onewould be anything but sympathetic. They might not necessarily offer to help, but I'm sure they'd at least wish you well."

"It's not exactly a picnic, what you've had to go through, Caitlyn," said Dacey. "No one's going to blame you for wanting to change your situation."

"Well... Thank you," said Caitlyn. "—For offering to help, I mean. That... That really does mean a lot to me."

"Toldja so," said Jon again, an unrepentant grin on his face.

"Shut up!" said Caitlyn, laughing. He would have to gloat about it!

"Young lady, you need to be more firm than that," said Mrs. Lippmann. "You take it from me: husbands will run roughshod over you if you let them. You keep him in line now, or in five years he'll be unmanageable."

Caitlyn couldn't quite keep a straight face, but she gave Jon her best glare nonetheless. "Jon, put that smile away or you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Jon's mouth popped open in a highly satisfactory manner. "Oh-hhhhh," said Gerald and Dacey, like ballgame spectators who have just witnessed a brilliant play.

"That's lesson one," said Mrs. Lippmann, totally unfazed. "You come back when you're ready for the next one, missy."

Jon managed to keep himself quiet until they got to the car, but once they were on the road he immediately burst out, "No fair!"

Caitlyn was feeling very pleased with herself. "How so?"

"I can't banishyou to the couch. I can't do anything of the sort! You're not playing fair!"

"All's fair in love and war," said Caitlyn glibly.

"Humph," said Jon, doing a very good impression of an injured martyr, though his rather excessive sulkiness gave the joke away. "This is the thanks I get. I deliver you from slavery under your mother, I provide for you, I even studied theBible for you. And what do I get? 'Shut up or you're sleeping on the couch.' I may just go sleep on itanyway, if that's how you feel."

"You wouldn't," said Caitlyn confidently.

"Oh really," he said, haughty to the end.

"And, even if you did—" She took his hand from the steering wheel and kissed it. "—I'd have to come down and join you."

"Ummm," he said. "That would be okay with me."

When they arrived at the house, it was closer to ten 'o'clock than nine; the discussion of Caitlyn's situation had run over-time, though obviously none of the small group members had been inclined to protest. As they checked their e-mail and gave another glance over Craigslist (nothing new had emerged), Caitlyn felt a sliver of dread in her stomach, one that grew with every passing moment. It was a little too late to start anything (a movie, for instance), but a little too early to sleep. However, if a husband and wife wanted to go and... do what husbands and wives did, this was probably the perfect time. And therein lay the dread: what would Jon think if she spoke up?

"Jon, would you..." He looked over, and with burning face she blurted it out: "Would you like to get in bed with me?"

Jon blinked at her.

"In case, you know... Something should happen to happen," she finished lamely.

The smile that grew on his face was one of the happiest sights she had ever beheld. "Race you."

They brushed their teeth and ran their nightly ablutions. This time Jon took charge of the situation from the beginning. "Let's not bother with clothes," he said. "And let's leave a light on. We're gonna make this educational."

She felt a brush of panic: lights on? With clothes off? But then, he'd seen most of it the night before, and all of it this morning when they showered. But then, they hadn't been... Doing things... When he'd seen.

She caught herself in mid-insecurity.Will you quit it? He's told you he loves you time and again. He's told you he thinks you're attractive time and again. He's been building you up to this for months, even though you didn't realize it until this moment. And he hasn't steered you wrong yet.

"Educational?" she said. "What, wasn't Sex Ed enough?"

Jon gave her a wide grin. "Baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

They sat together on the bed, facing each other, wearing nothing. She felt the nippy cold, as she had the night before, and put it out of her head as unimportant. Jon hair was darker below than it was above, like her own, and it reassured her to realize that it was just as unruly as hers. She had often wondered if something was wrong with it.

"So, the point was," Jon said. "I wanted to just let it all hang out. Here's me, here's you, let's ask questions, let's look around. Let's see all there is to see. I don't want you to feel like my body is some foreign machine. I don't want you to feel that way aboutyour body either. I want you to be comfortable."

"That'd be easier if it wasn't December," said Caitlyn with a weak attempt at a smile.

"Itis kinda cold," Jon agreed. "But there's nothing we can really do about that. Not for a while, anyway.

"So. Here I am. Here you are. I'm not wearing anything, neither are you. Look all you want. Any questions so far?"

Caitlyn shook her head. She did actually have one—What the heck are we doing?—but she didn't feel comfortable asking it. The thing was, this was sodifferent from what they'd done before. That had been tender, warm, under covers, nothing like this naked numbness with the lights shining down, splintering on her eyes. She felt like a bug under a microscope.

"There's body parts that get all the attention," Jon said. "Mostly boobs, dick and pussy."

" 'Pussy'?" she said.

"It's a slang word for 'vagina'."

"How didthat happen," she asked. She wasn't all that familiar with her vagina, but it didn't seem even vaguely feline to her.

"I dunno. 'Cause it's soft and furry?" he said. "I didn't make it up."

"Where did you hear it?"

"The Internet." He gave a wry laugh. "Where else?"

"Oh. Um. Is there like a webpage I could learn all this on?"

"Mmm, probably, but, why would you want to use a computer when you could use me?" He said this with such ingenuity that she had to smile.

"Okay, so. Cock, pussy and boobs. That's where most of the attention goes. But not everybody realizes that there are other body parts that can transmit pleasant sensations. These places are the back, neck, scalp, ears, and fingers and toes." She immediately recognized the places he paid most attention to in their non-sexual physical contact.Hehasbeen building me up to this for months.

"Being touched in these places doesn't have to be sexual. In fact, it'snot sexual, not in its own right. Really, it just feels nice. But that's part of sex—getting you feeling good and getting you relaxed. If you're tense, it doesn't happen. I'm honestly kind of surprised things worked out as well as they did last night."

"Yeah. I think... Well, it was a rollercoaster of a day," she said. Which was an understatement. She'd gone from wild joy to disconsolate loss and back, several times. "I was just to the point where..."Where I was vulnerable. Where I just needed you so badly, that I would've let you do... Anything. Good thing we got married, he could've pushed me into it and I couldn't've said no. I just needed to trust someone so much... "I dunno. I think that... If we had gotten married normally? You know, without all the rush and the insanity and... If we had done that, things probably wouldn't've worked out like they did. Sexually, I mean. I would've tensed up and been all..."

"Nervous."

"Yeah. Self-conscious. It's just, yesterday, I was so... Needy. I needed to be loved so badly, and you gave me that, and... It was like I couldn't even conceive of mistrusting you. I would've walked off a cliff if you'd told me to."

"You kinda did," he said in a strange voice. "Good thing I was there to catch you."

She didn't know what to say to that, and she couldn't think of anything else to do, so she kissed him. After a moment she felt him respond, felt his arms snake around her, and they leaned forward to press against each other, their naked bodies together.

"So," he murmured. "Let's get you past your nervousness."

As before, he bore her down to the bed, their arms around each other, and after a few moments of kissing began to wander down the line of her jaw, across her neck, around her ears. She had always loved the tingly excitement his lips ignited inside her—but now, compared to the things they had done last night, it felt but a paltry warmth. She felt a moment of loss; something had passed that they could never reclaim.

I guess it was my innocence.

This time she was very conscious of his penis, erect but folded down against her leg. Even through that undersensitive appendage, she could feel its warmth. She hadn't noticed that yesterday—but then, how she could be expected to noticeanything about it, when it was inside her.

Soon, he began to kiss his way down her body to her breasts, and without realizing it, she tensed. It wasn't all that surprising a reaction, she decided later; after all, they were one of the most vulnerable parts of her body, and the times someone had touched them intentionally could be counted on one hand. Jon, she would find out later, noticed it too; but he knew there was nothing to be afraid of, and had decided to prove it to her.

And when his mouth closed around her nipple and her mouth opened in pleasure, he did.

What was I afraid of? I loved it when he did this. But it also begged a question. "Why do you suck on my... My breasts. You're not a baby."

He blinked up at her. "Why, don't you like it?"

"I... I like it." It felt wonderful—like his kisses on her neck, like his tongue tickling the backside of her ear, but better, and stronger. "But... Is it going to feel that way with a baby?" That would just be weird, in her opinion.

He shrugged. "I don't know. When you have one, tell me." And with that, he returned to his suckling, awakening strings of fire inside her that raced and pulsed through her in waves and ran her breath ragged through her mouth.

He transferred on occasion from one to the other, leaving the nipple shiny and contracted and a little bit cold in the nippy air, only to return, and each time the tide inside her rose higher and higher. He noticed her arm curled around his head, drawing him in closer, and wondered when that had happened. She could still feel his penis—his... cock? Where hadthat term come from?—pressed against her outer thigh, and his body all along hers, and most of all his breath and the touch of his lips on her nipples as he licked and sucked and pulled.

"Does it... Does it go any farther than this," she asked.

He stopped. "Hunh?"

"I mean... It feels good, but... Last time, you did this and then you put your hand... Down there... And then you put yourthing down there, and, it was nice, but..."

"Oh," he said. "Yeah, it goes any farther than this. If I do my job right, you have an orgasm."

"I have a... What?"

He gaped at her. "What went on inyour Sex Ed class? Oh, wait, homeschooled, never mind. Whatwas your Sex Ed class? Must've been abstinence-only. 'Don't have sex or you'll get an STD and die. And then you'll get pregnant. After you're dead.' Oh, for crying out loud..."

"What's an orgasm," she asked.

"It's... Oh, God, how do I explain. It's what sex leads up to."

She was lost, and surely it showed on her face.

"Okay, we have to do a biology lesson, a little bit. Some crazy scientists named Masters and Johnson (such great names for sexual researchers, wouldn't you say?) did the research and discovered that there's four basic phases of human sexual response. First is arousal, which is what you're going through now. Blood flow to your pelvic region increases, which makes a man's penis hard and makesyou start to get wet down there, among other things. Plus heart rate and so on." His hand cupped her breast as he spoke, and continued its ministrations—which made it a little hard to concentrate.

"Next is plateau, which is just a steady building-up. Everything just keeps growing—the penis gets harder, the vagina expands and the uterus moves to make room inside you for the penis. Orgasm is the third phase. It's the release of all the pent-up sexual energy. In men, that's when ejaculation happens. In women, it's a little more complex."

"That's... That's when the egg is released?" she said, grasping for the nearest metaphor. "Wait, no, that's what happens during her period."

"Yeah. Scientists aren't really surewhat female orgasm accomplishes. It causes your vagina and uterus to contract several times, and I think there are other things that happen too but I don't remember them. Some women describe it as being sort of like a sneeze, but down there. But the point is, itfeels good. It feelsreally good."

She frowned. Sneezing out of her private parts didn't sound all that pleasurable. "I don't think I've ever had one of those."

"Probably not," he agreed. "I think you'd know if you had."

"So... You do all these things... So that I have an orgasm?"

"Yeah, so that you come," he said, which confused her even more. Come where? "But, it's hard. Most women report that... Well. It's not easy, let's just leave it at that. I'll try. But I don't know if I'll succeed."

She was a little surprised by his intensity. "That's okay," she said magnanimously. "I'm sure you will be sufficient to the task."

"Here's hoping," he grumbled, before attacking her breast again. Then there were no words, and she was lost once again on the ebb and tide of feelings that did, in fact, feel very, very good.

It wasn't too long before she felt his hand began to drift yet lower, and she felt the crimson tingles all down her stomach before his fingers began to brush gently through her pubic hair. He didn't put anything inside her, not yet, but his hand cupping her outside sent tingles and a rush of warmth up her spine, and her legs parted almost involuntarily. She didn't hear the noises she made, the mewing gasps or the whispered encouragements. She didn't notice her hand latching onto his, keeping it from withdrawing from her pubic region. She was lost in a world of her own, a world of their making.

But when finally she felt an intrusion, slipping easily into her passage, she stopped and looked up. "Finger again?"

He blinked. "Why, what's wrong with it?"

"I thought you were... Giving me an..." She hesitated over the unfamiliar word. "Orgasm."

"I am."

"With your hand? I thought you had to use your... You know. Thing."

"Huh? Oh, no, not hardly. Having intercourse is actually one of the worst ways to make a woman come."

This time she caught the word from context: it must be a slang term for orgasm.At least it's easier to say. "Why not? I thought sex is supposed to feel good."

"It does," he said. "But... Well, biology lesson number two. Do you know what the clitoris is?"

"Umm..." She'd heard whispered talk about it, of course, and occasionally run into a reference in a textbook. She knew it was part of her equipment down there, but nothing more. "No, not really."

"It's the... It would be your penis, if you were a guy."

"So, I... I pee out if it?"

"No, no, it would... You don't. Just, the sticky-outy part of the penis. If the baby is male, it turns into the penis in the womb. If not, it stays clitoris."

"So whatdoes it do, then?" she asked.

His hand moved, a tiny bit, and suddenly pleasure washed over her in a dizzying wave.

"That," he said.

"Oh..." she breathed.

"It's actually the only organ on either gender that has no other purpose but sexual pleasure," he said.

"Wow." She giggled. "I feel lucky."

"See, here's—" She felt his finger, sliding into her. "Here's your vagina. Here's your pussy." It slid out again, and began to travel up towards her pubic hair. "But uphere..." The wave of joy again. "...is the clit. When I'm down here..." His finger slid inside her again. "There's not much contact on it, is there? And it doesn't feel anywhere near as good, because there just aren't as many nerves in your vagina as there are in your clit. So, sexual intercourse doesn't do the job very well."

"So, howdo you do it?" she asked. Not that she was trying to drop hints or anything, but she definitely wanted more.

"You work on the clit directly," he said. "With fingers, or your hand, or your mouth."

"Yourmouth?" She'd heard the term 'oral sex' before, but never considered what it meant. "Isn't that... Why would you want to put your mouth down there?"Isn't it dirty?, was what she wanted to ask, but then, this whole act involved naughty bits, so maybe that was a redundant question. And the scary thing was, he was already heading south.

"Because it feels good for you?" he said. And then his head descended between her legs.

Afterwards, she would have clear recollection what would ultimately prove to be her first orgasm (clearly, hewas sufficient to the task). She had no real idea what process he went through down there; eventually, years and months later, when sex had become a natural part of her, she would be able to reconstruct it, but of that day she would only remember flashes and instants and impressions. There was his breath, warm on her sex; and then the first touch of his lips as he kissed her; and then an immediate impulse of pleasure when he first began to suck on her clit. After that there was only groaning and thrashing and her hands tangled in his hair and the rising of her moans until the crescendo, release showering through her like fronds from a firework, and then the long aftermath as her heart slowed down.

When she came to, he was wrapped around her, holding her tight. "You were right," she mumbled. "Itwas good."

"Toldja," he said, in that insufferably smug tone.

"Shut up."

"If you enjoyed it," he said, in an entirely different tone, "it was worth it."

"Hee." What she didn't know was that the process had taken over an hour. In fact, it would be some time until she grasped just what a miracle it was thathe—a stranger, someone outside herself—had managed to give her her first orgasm.

"How are you," she asked.

"Umm," he said, shuffling himself. "Pretty good."

She became aware of his erect penis again, and realized just what was going through his head. She was feeling a little bit too comfortable to move, but if that was what he wanted... "Did you want to... You know?"

"I don't have to put it inside you," he said, almost apologetically. "There are... Other ways."

"Like?"

"Well... You could do to me what I just did to you."

That sounded kind of interesting, but it also sounded like a lot of work. "No, just... Go ahead," she said. She supposed she ought to be grateful, but at the moment, she would almost rather him to just climb onboard and do his thing. (Looking back on this moment in later years, she would think,What a guy I was being. Have an orgasm, fall asleep. Good thing Jon kept pushing me...)

"All right," said Jon, undaunted. "Here—let's try something new." Now his arms were around her shoulders, drawing her up. "Let's get some blankets on, it's cold..."

Sleepily, she accepted warmth and shelter, settling against him.

"Okay, now— Let's do it this way. Caitlyn?"

"Mmm."

"Are you awake?"

Not really. "...Sure."

"All right then," he said, "help yourself," and the tone of his voice made her open her eyes. She saw him lying beside her, on his back, grinning over at her—naked from the waist up, the blankets tossed back, and his penis proud and erect and jutting into the air.