The First Time, Again

Quietly reflecting as you have asked me to, yet, though asked, the reflections never stop for me. Once again, we are looking forward to, yet another, first time, aren't we, Baby? Where did "we" come from? It doesn't matter, does it? Not really. The reality is that we are and once again, we will slip from the realities of our worlds and come together for a brief time, until the next, first time.

What will this first time mean to us, this time, Baby? How will we feel, after so much time in between, save for our daily "check ins" and emails, how will we feel when that magic moment is finally before us, and we see each other again, for the first time? When you walk through that door this time, Baby, how do you want to see me? Do you want me in satin and lace again, with my long legs encased in silk, like always, Baby? Do you? Will your heart be pounding as loudly as mine when you reach for the phone in the lobby to tell me that you're here, and on your way up? Do you have any idea what that particular moment does to me each time? When the phone rings, like I always know it will, do you realize how my hand trembles and my breath catches tight, when I know it's you on the other end and you're finally within my very touch? Do you Baby? Do you have any idea how my heart leaps into my throat when I say hello, in a soft, lilting voice that belongs to only you and I hear your low, sultry voice on the other end,

"Mmmm, hi baby, on my way up"

Do you know how long it is on your elevator ride up a few floors Baby? It's an eternity. I never know whether my legs will hold me should I continue to stand, should I greet you at the door? should I sit on the edge of the bed? should I? .. should I? .. Do you realize how long a time that is to wonder, and to ache, simply in knowing that our first time is about to happen, again and you're just about to walk for that door again for the first time.

And when you do, what do you feel when you see me again? Is your heart thudding? Mine is. When all relevance to time and space stop, and our eyes touch again, for that first time, do you see the fire in mine, in reflection of yours? Do you see the joy leaping from me as I rise to greet you, the quickened step of my stance and the outreach of my opened arms into yours? Want to know what I see?

I see you turn to lock the door, I see the sack bearing the gifts you bring me fall from your hand to the floor, I see past your warm dark pools melting into the emerald of mine, and I see a hint of red flashing deeper within them. I see the tight clench of your strong jaw, even beneath your soft beard when your arms wrap around me in a squeeze so tight it takes my breath from me and my body melds into yours with our first deep, frenzied, searching, almost desperate kiss. You nearly knock me off my feet with the insistence of your kiss, pulling me hard into you, I feel your arms trembling around me and that tremble resonates against my mouth the deeper your first kiss takes mine, the deeper your tongue pushes into me, licking your sweet promise into me as you step me back, and back, until I'm limp in your arms again.

And we have yet to exchange a single word.

Your breathing now matches mine, only it's harder, deeper, and your arms are squeezing me until my palms pushing gently against your chest remind you that I need to breathe too. The laughter in our eyes touch, again, for the first time, and you slowly release me, and step back.

Your eyes make love to me as you slowly start unbuttoning your shirt, melting me with the heated gaze of your intent. Any imperfection I worry about every time suddenly dissipates in this moment, always. I'm never anything but perfect in your eyes, and I thank you so much for that. The frailties that possess me simply don't exist when we're together. Your gaze burns through the sheerness of the lingerie I bought especially for this trip, and I feel the intensity of your eyes as they caress every inch that I am. They're beyond dark now, Baby, they're almost silted with lust as are mine watching you now unbuckling your belt and unsnapping your jeans.

Do you hear me gasp every time, Baby, when you lower them and kick them aside? Do you? You know exactly what I'm feeling when you hear that, and you know exactly what my body is doing in response, don't you? It's always in this moment that you catch the rich, heady scent of my pulsing sex assaulting your senses, for the first time again, isn't it Baby?

Why is it always, in this moment, that you nearly lunge into me, only in the sexy thong that I've sent you ahead of time to wear, and grab me as if you were going to consume me? Is it because you can't bear another moment without touch? Is it because you know my eyes have seen the state of your arousal in that sexy thong, and the little wet circle of betrayal that is always there upon it, or do you simply love to torture me by pulling me deep against it, grinding it deep into my own softness as you take another hard kiss from me? Why is it always this kiss, that steals my breath again, that is always so much harder than the last, why do I always feel the hint of your teeth against my neck when I drape it back exposed to you, why is that, Baby?

Why do my breasts ache so crushed to your hard bare chest in this moment? Is it because they ache for the softness of your mouth and tongue again, after all this time? Or is it that the silkiness of my lingerie caressing your naked flesh is making you crazed with lust anew? Are you going to rip it from me this time as you have so many times before, or will you allow me to slowly remove it for you? I never quite know Baby.

Your hands find their way to that soft flesh of my thighs where the lace topped stockings stop and the skin begins, and your fingertips burn into me in the deepest kneading I have ever felt. It almost hurts, but I feel no pain. All I know is that one silky leg coils around the back of yours and my own hands lower to cup and massage the unbelievable hardness straining in your thong. Our kiss is now desperate, and I never exactly know how we end up on the bed in this moment, but we always do, don't we?

Have we even said hello, yet?