The Floating World Pt. 04

Adam frowned, confused, and Jesse reacted as if he'd been struck. He fell off Adam and scrambled to the edge of the bed, found his leather bracelet and slid it around his wrist, domed it shut, and staggered upright, falling against the wall as he fled for the bathroom.

He shut the door behind him and sank to the floor, the tiles cold against his naked ass.

Why would you even ask? You know the answer.

He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the door, his fingers clamped around his wrist, digging the dome into his flesh, the darkness washing back through him.

* * *

Have I done this before?

Adam pondered the question, and considered the multiplicity of answers. Yes, no. What precisely do you mean by 'this'? Maybe, perhaps, never. No answer then, because there was no precision in the question, or if there was precision, Jesse didn't want Adam's answer, because he was asking a different question, and clearly, had already answered it. Adam shook his head, got to his feet and wrapped himself in his dressing gown. Lemons, the faint scent of lemons filled his nostrils, and he thought of summer and the old tree in the garden.

Adam went through to the lounge and put Zoe Keating on the stereo. He wondered who'd left the Buckley CD in the system, because he knew he sure as hell didn't own any Buckley. His son, probably, scouting material for a show.

He went to the kitchen and made a deliberate noise with the cupboards, running water, crockery, the metallic clang of saucepans on the stove. He realised he was hungry and grinned to himself. Fucking Jesse, good for the appetite then.

The kid must be fucking starving, thought Adam, emptying himself of something huge the way he did earlier on. He stopped chopping on the board for a moment, replaying the moment when Jesse's ass tightened around his cock like a vice, and Jesse's huge spurting shot of cum reached high on the boy's chest. Something sure as hell surged through Jesse in that moment, and Adam felt pretty sure it wasn't just him.

Three in a bed, then, and he was the bystander.

There was silence from the bathroom. Adam hoped the sizzling smell of plain cooking would remind Jesse of his hunger, that he'd come out his own accord. Scenes through closed doors just became tiresome, and Adam never saw the point. He stirred a few more things together, and the smell of the food cooking was good.

He went to the bedroom and found another gown in the wardrobe, this one hanging fresh and clean. He hung it on the doorknob of the bathroom door and said, raising his voice just a little to make sure he was heard. "There's a dressing gown on the door, food's ready in about five minutes." He leaned against the door, and this time spoke in his normal tone. "I'd like your company for a meal, if you'd like to join me."

Adam paused, heard movement on the other side of the door. He went back to the kitchen. Just as he was about to pour a glass of wine, he heard the door open, turned, and saw Jesse take the gown from the door. Gazing straight at him, Adam waited until Jesse looked up, and gestured with the bottle to a second glass on the counter. Jesse nodded, and Adam poured him a glass.

"Do you want eggs scrambled, or an omelette, or what?"

Jesse came over to the counter and looked at the loaf of bread on a board, the makings of a salad, and a pan of mushrooms, sizzling away on the stove.

"Depending what you mean by 'this'," Adam continued, "you can either stay for a meal, and stay the night." His voice remained steady and even. "Or..."

"No, I... yes, I mean yes. I..." Jesse fumbled his words. "Fuck, I want... I'd like..." He took a quick breath, lifted his head, pushed his hair away from his face, and faced Adam.

Adam gave nothing away on his face, but his eyes narrowed.

Christ, his eyes go grey, thought Jesse, and he shivered.

"You'd like...?"

"An omelette," Jesse recovered, realising he was being allowed time to recover gracefully from his precipitous run for cover, denial, whatever the fuck he thought he was doing, curling on the cold floor of a cave. "Any chance of some ham with that?"

Thank Christ for that, thought Adam, he's telling me what he wants, not what he needs. I can cope with desire. My own needs are enough for one man.

"OK, I can do that." Adam turned to the fridge and pulled a packet from the door.

Knowing he was being watched; the feral gaze pulling on his neck as Jesse fell back into his core and remembered who he was, where he was; Adam was methodical as he opened the packet, slid out several slices of succulent flesh, ran his finger over the meat, and sliced through it with the sharpest knife, taking the greatest care not to lose his focus. His fingers pressed white onto the counter, his whole weight concentrated there.

"I've not felt that, not for a long time, not from a man anyway, not for a while." Adam's voice was the same slow exploration of memory as it was in the car, in the bed, down through the long moments of his days. "That's why I was confused, curious." He looked back at Jesse, who was still now, watching him and listening. No need for a recorder here, Jesse wouldn't forget. Not now.

"Usually, it's a woman, from a long distance, watching me." Hunting. "But, you, Jesse Clifton, do you even know? I suppose you must, or you wouldn't be here."

Adam neatly shaped the prepared food into small piles, and then turned each of the burners off.

He went around the counter to where Jesse was standing, took the glass from his hand and placed it on the bench. Adam undid the belt on his dressing gown and his thick cock hung down. He undid the belt on Jesse's gown too, and his slimmer cock hung down. Taking Jesse's cock in one hand, his own in the other, he placed both swelling meats up against their guts, then wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist and pulled their bodies together.

"I'm hungry, so are you. But this," and Adam pulled Jesse to him and gently placed his open mouth, his teeth, on Jesse's throat, no bite, just the gentlest promise, "this is what 'this' is tonight." Their cocks were hot, long heat against each other, and their bodies burned.

"You might want something else in the morning, but that's then, not now."

Adam raised his mouth to Jesse's lips, and they locked in a kiss, tongues probing, sucking alternately on a fucking, probing tongue or a full, hot lip, gently bitten and sucked into a mouth. They tasted each other, and against their guts, their pricks were hot, hard heat. Adam's balls tightened, and that long, familiar swell, that ache from the base of his spine began.

From the lounge, a long looping cello crescendo built up and saturated the room with sound, and their flesh against each other's skin burned. Their taste enhanced, the heady mix of male heat, spice and the aromas of food swirled, and the colours in the room grew sharp and crystalline bright.

Adam broke the kiss, and licked the sweat from Jesse's neck.

"Now, can we fucking eat?"

* * *

Jesse closed his eyes as Adam's tongue ran over his skin, and groaned at the need throbbing through him. In a heartbeat, under that wet touch of tongue and teeth, he replayed Adam's mouth around him, his cock pressed into his core, and all the things Jesse wanted to do to him in return.

He felt as if he'd been trapped in Adam's bathroom for a week, yet only five minutes seemed to have gone by. It was strange how time stretched and warped with this man, the things he saw. The things he took forever to fucking get done. The CDs he didn't have in his collection.

Adam's suggestion they eat was, he decided, punishment for behaving like a damaged brat; Adam offering forgiveness, dignity, a promise and a chastising all in one.

But he couldn't wait. It had to be now. He opened his eyes, putting all thought of Adam's question from his mind in the face of a more urgent need, and ground against him as he sought out Adam's mouth again.

Adam pushed him back, but there was heat in his eyes. "Back it up."

Not to be deterred, Jesse shed his robe and tried for Adam's mouth again. He closed his hand around Adam's length, finding his head slick with precum.

Again Adam pushed him back. "Come on kid, let's eat first. It's not a fucking race to the finish line."

Jesse shook his head wordlessly and pushed Adam back against the breakfast bar with force.

"Hey!" Adam sounded angry, but Jesse didn't care.

His hands slid down Adam's body, ran down his thighs, as Jesse lowered himself to his knees and took Adam's length in his mouth.

"Fuck's sake, get up," said Adam.

His hands closed in Jesse's hair, trying to pull him up, but Jesse stubbornly pulled against him, moving his mouth over Adam's rock-hard cock, one hand holding him steady so that he could get as much of Adam's length into his mouth as he could.

"Christ," Adam ground out. And then his hands weren't trying to pull Jesse up, but were massaging the back of his skull, pulling Jesse's mouth onto him.

Jesse looked up at him, his eyes ringed with darkness, his pure-black hair silk under Adam's touch. There was triumph in his eyes.

As far as blowjobs went, Adam had had better, but he'd rarely had this much enthusiasm. The kid still had a few things to learn, which bemused Adam; but then, he had no idea how often Jesse did this. Even if the kid was out-and-out gay—and Adam suspected he was—he supposed it was much like hetero sex, in that not everyone was born a porn star. Even if they looked like one.

And then Jesse hit his stride, and Adam closed his eyes and hung his head back, a low groan in his throat.

For Jesse, his hunger was for Adam's release, to taste him. As much as he'd enjoyed being fucked, it'd unseated him. He wanted his power back. Wanted himself back.

He ran his tongue along the underside of Adam's shaft from balls to tip, teasing at the precum that leaked against his tongue, savouring that salty sweetness in his mouth.

Liquid anticipation; a promise of what was to come.

He could do this forever, lost in Adam's fingers moving rhythmically against the back of his skull, teasing his lover's cock, knowing he could bring Adam to the edge and not let him release until he, Jesse, was ready.

Control. It's all about control.

He felt Adam's cock swell in his mouth and pulled off and smiled up at him. After a moment, Adam looked down, confused.

"Sorry, I'm being inconsiderate," said Jesse, teasing Adam with his voice. "If you're hungry, I can wait—"

Adam narrowed his eyes and pulled Jesse's mouth back onto his cock.

Jesse grinned around him, letting Adam slide his length deeper than Jesse had taken him so far.

It took a lot to relax and let go, to take a cock Adam's length into his throat, even a short distance, just knowing how far it could go—if he pushed Adam too far and the man lost control.

Jesse didn't think Adam was a man who ever lost himself to the point of aggression. But if Jesse could make him forget himself, he knew he'd be in a state of ecstasy when Adam finally came.

He relaxed his throat muscles, keeping the gag back with measured breathing while Adam fucked at the entrance to his throat half a dozen times with urgent thrusts, then seemed to remember himself and pulled out an inch.

His eyes tortured, his lips parted as if he was about to speak, but Jesse gave a slight shake of his head and took him deeper, voluntarily taking even more of Adam's length into his throat. The angle meant he couldn't get him as far in as he wanted, but that was okay. There was always later. They had later.

He wet Adam's cock as much as he could, then pulled out and ran his tongue over Adam's shaft, coating his cock with saliva. When he slid Adam's cock back between his lips, he used his hand to slick thick wetness down his length, using his tongue and hand and lips to bring Adam to the brink again.

With precum steadily leaking against the caress of his tongue, Jesse pushed Adam as far into his throat as he could manage again and again, letting his eyes travel up to Adam's face and finding Adam's now-grey eyes staring down at him with a mix of lust and frustration as Jesse repeatedly brought him to the edge and eased off.

The hands in his hair grew firmer, but Adam still had enough control to stop himself shoving himself into Jesse's throat.

Let go, Adam. Can't you see I want you to just fuck me any way you want?

Jesse had to unseat him. Unseat him the way Adam had unseated Jesse. Pull away the veneer of control the years had convinced Adam he had. No one had that much control. No one.

He pulled off Adam's cock again and wiped a hand across his mouth, collecting the added saliva there. He wiped it against his naked chest, leaving a wet trail, and Adam's eyes followed his trailing fingers.

The CD player paused between tracks, and Adam's breathing was heavy and loud in the silent apartment. Jesse could see from the intensity in his gaze that he wanted nothing more than to fuck the shit out of Jesse's face and wouldn't let himself.

You will, Adam. You will.

"Did you enjoy that?" Jesse got to his feet and put his hands against Adam's midsection. He smiled at Adam with eyes that said, 'I'm fucking with you—what the fuck are you going to do about it?'.

Adam's hands fell from Jesse's hair to his shoulders, a look of incredulity on his face. It lasted only a moment, before something in him changed. He pressed his strength against Jesse's shoulders, feral hunger in his eyes. He would not be fucked with. Jesse had counted on it.

Jesse resisted, knowing he could use all his strength and still be forced, his gaze dogged determination, mischief and darkness, under a fall of dark hair that shadowed his eyes. Seeing this, Adam's face split into his own, dark grin as he put all his weight and strength into his arms and forced Jesse to his knees again.

That's more like it. Jesse gazed up at him, lust and rebellion in his eyes and Adam laced his fingers behind Jesse's head and pulled him back onto his cock.

Jesse placed his hands against Adam's thighs as a precaution as he let Adam slide back into his mouth, using his tongue and mouth as best he knew how against Adam's now urgent assault, feeling Adam's hardness grow again until it was all Jesse could do to just stay open around his cock.

He kept his gaze on Adam's as he let Adam use his mouth as he pleased.

Jesse had never been so fucking turned on as he was now, his cock achingly hard as Adam's hips rocked forward, his cock sliding across Jesse's tongue, slipping against the back of his throat, while Adam gripped Jesse's hair and guided him back against him.

"Fuck," growled Adam, his hips thrusting against Jesse's face, his cock nudging Jesse's throat with every fluid motion forward. "Fuck!"

His hot, wet explosion made Jesse growl with satisfaction around him.

He came with a force that Jesse hadn't expected from a guy so recently spent; but while Adam's climax was short and violent, it was the most satisfying Jesse had ever experienced in his life.

He let Adam's cum spurt straight down his throat, and flattened his tongue, drawing it along the underside of Adam's cock as the man pulled out, the last jerk of cum landing against Jesse's open mouth, painting his lips.

Jesse licked it away, catching a stray drop with a finger, and then sucking that finger clean as he waited for Adam's gaze to come back to him.

With hooded eyes, Adam seemed to come back to himself. His hands were wound so tightly in Jesse's hair that loosening them made Jesse aware of pain. A welcome pain. A pain that told him Adam had let himself go more than he'd intended to. The thought filled Jesse with a black satisfaction.

Adam put one hand against his chest and grabbed his wine glass with his free hand, taking a deep swallow of wine as Jesse climbed to his feet and gazed at him from under that fall of dark hair.

Jesse smacked his lips. "I understand dinner's getting cold."

Adam laughed, a spontaneous gut-borne laugh. "Shameless little shit." He glanced down at Jesse's hand clamped now around his own hard prick. "You don't need... a hand?"

No. Waiting was control, and now Jesse had it, he wasn't giving it up that easily.

But he couldn't help running his hand up his cock before he forced himself to let go.

He shook his head. "I'm really fucking hungry."

Adam laughed again. "Fuck." He took a deep breath in, then another swallow of wine. "Fine, let's eat."

Jesse wasn't lying. He was hungry, and not just for the food, which smelled delicious. For something approaching normalcy. Adam was nothing like any other hookup, any other man he'd fucked, or spent time with, and it'd thrown him—and kept throwing him until something in him had broken. But Adam's firm kindness had let it mend, and now that Jesse had taken himself back, he felt himself on firmer ground.

He picked up his robe, which held a light scent of fabric softener, and shrugged it on, tying it over his erection, then took his food to the table. Adam took a seat opposite him and Jesse dropped his attention to his food. As he wolfed it down, he felt Adam's ocean-in-a-storm eyes on him, his own fork paused while he watched Jesse devour his culinary art in less than a minute.

Jesse finished the last of his omelette and pushed his plate away. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then glanced down, a thin patina of salted oil left on his skin. Slowly he put his tongue to it and licked the salt away, his gaze fixed to Adam's.

"Good?" Adam asked, a mocking lilt in his voice.

Jesse nodded. He drained the rest of his wine and pushed his glass across the table to Adam.

Adam laughed, a low chuckle at the back of his throat. "You going to lock yourself in the bathroom again if I let you drink more?"

Jesse gave him a good-natured smile. "I think we're past that."

Adam refilled his glass and Jesse raised it to his lips, savouring the taste. It really was good wine.

He closed his eyes, the scent of good food, wine, the robe's light floral scent and the heady cello music combining to put him into a dreamy state he'd normally have needed chemical assistance to achieve.

"You going to tell me what happened back there in the bedroom?" Adam asked.

Jesse kept his eyes closed and took another swallow of wine.

"We fuck. We just fuck. We always just fuck." He opened his eyes and met Adam's gaze. "You have something in you..." he struggled to find the words, riding that strange euphoria that was growing stronger with the scent and warmth of the apartment, the wine and the heady joy of drawing Adam towards losing his own solidity.

"You have something in you that..."

Fucked with me. "That..."

And the wine was in his head. He closed his eyes again and his head spun. The wine wasn't enough to be doing this to him. This was pure joy. Happiness. Contentment.

What happened in the bedroom? It no longer mattered.

He opened his eyes. "Hey, can I change the CD?"

Adam's face froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. "What do you want to put on? I'm not into this 'pop' music you kids listen to these days. All your Dan Fogleburg and your Buddy Holly."

Jesse snorted into his wine at the joke and put the glass down, wiping stray drops of wine from his mouth.

"It's not that bad." He got up from the table and fetched his phone. "Do you have a cable I can use to plug this in?"

Adam nodded. Again, cautious. "You want to play music from that?"

"It's okay, I have FLAC files on my phone," said Jesse, and Adam lifted an eyebrow. "Nate. He was an audiophile."

"How about I finish my food?" said Adam. "Since I notice you inhaled yours."

Jesse watched Adam eat, and alternately sipped his wine and twisted the leather bracelet on his wrist.

Adam finished his meal and Jesse pressed his lips together, almost vibrating with anticipation. He forced himself to wait, slouched back in his seat, while Adam found a cable. He took Jesse's phone from him and plugged it into the auxiliary input.