The Footsore Flight Attendants Ch. 02

At that moment Lavinia called over, waving the red-plastic backed clipboard in her hands. "Hey, Jo! We are not the first. And you won't believe it. An EasyJet hostie named Pearl has already written a glowing report about the footboy - his name's Warren - and awarded him marks of ten out of ten!"

"But I'll cause him a major setback - I'll ruin his averages!" said Bettina. "That'll teach him, the time-wasting buffoon! He'll remember to give me the right coffee in future - if he doesn't want me to award him zero out of ten again!"

Gemma laughed amusedly at the vilifying rantings of Bettina, her unforgiving, vindictive and vengeful coffee-deprived colleague.

"So ... it looks as though you've got it all to do, doesn't it, Warren?" said Joanna meaningfully.

"Yes, Miss Joanna," I said respectfully.

"As a punishment for wasting valuable foot-service time, and also for your display of dire ineptitude at beverage service, my colleagues Lavinia and Bettina - and Gemma too, probably, if purely as a matter of moral support - are sure to comment most disparagingly about you.

"And, for added emphasis, award you very low, damaging - and perhaps, ultimately, decisively detrimental - marks-out-of-ten Satisfaction of Conduct ratings.

"Well, assuming Lavinia can make the bus driver wait for me, you've got about four minutes, Warren, to endeavour to damage-limitation your disastrous downturn and improve on your now decidedly inauspicious situation ...

"Start, by carefully removing my pumps, and then, while supporting the weight of my relaxing right leg and massaging my right foot; firstly, by rotating your thumbs firmly into the bottom of my heel ... Well, from there on I shall leave the rest of it, up to you, Warren."

I was careful, as admonished, but though rather well-worn, Joanna's dark blue leather flight-duty pumps were still quite tight-fitting and didn't come off easily. An audible whoosh of suddenly released warm odorous trapped air accompanied the removal of each of her work shoes.

Joanna raised her right leg, and I took my cue.

Supporting the not inconsiderable weight of her relaxing right leg, I took her right foot in my hands and began massaging as directed.

No sooner was I firmly rotating the pads of my thumbs into the bottom of Joanna's right heel, when she raised her left leg, and very slowly, she directed the bottom of her foot towards my face.

I understood that Joanna was giving me an eleventh-hour option to rescind from offering to 'voluntarily' perform non-regulatory personal services.

But as I watched the continued slow progress of the sole of Joanna's freshly unshod left foot my mind was already made up: I was resigned and resolved to do whatever might be necessary to try and earn from her a better marks-out-of-ten Satisfaction of Conduct rating.

And so there was nothing for me to do other than to contemplate the inexorable approach of Joanna's pantyhosed left sole and await its arrival and, once it arrived, compliantly accept and accommodate it - indeed, welcome it.

Prior to her first carefully placing and then firmly pressing her freshly unshod work-begrimed left foot into my accepting and accommodating face, I saw every work-stained hot and sweaty detail of Joanna's portentously looming dark-pantyhosed sole.

A moment later, replicating the earlier nose cupping actions of her BA colleague Lavinia, from the same sedentary position Joanna's toes also now, were effectively sealing my nostrils as she used my face as her footrest.

As Joanna had stated, her two coffee deprived colleagues Lavinia and Bettina (and Gemma too, if only as a gesture of her moral support) had ordered me to sniff their post-flight end-of-shift stinky feet as a punishment.

Joanna now, though, was leaving it up to me to decide: Whether, or not, to demonstrate my apologies and remorse by the self-undertaken self-imposition and rigorous self-infliction of the four BA air hostesses' unanimously-decided-upon foot-sniffing chastisement ordeal.

I now stopped massaging the bottom of Joanna's right heel, and I resumed my rotating thumb ministrations on her arch; not as firmly though, since I noticed right off that there was much more give here.

Joanna did not say a word to me now. But nonetheless, her implicit proposition was crystal clear.

Responding to the BA air hostess Joanna's unspoken proposal, with my mouth firmly closed I took a long, deep sniff under the post-flight end-of-shift dark-pantyhosed toes of her left foot ...

The powerful, pungent intensity of Joanna's under- and in-between-the-toes scents came as a real shock.

Like a new smoker taking the first draw of his second cigarette, I gasped and choked on the as yet unaccustomed noxious and obnoxious fumes contained within and emanating from the toe area of the thin gauzy material, that - Joanna, leaving me to decide whether to avail myself of this implicitly offered marks-out-of-ten-improving opportunity to self-submit to this act of self-punishment - 'voluntarily' I'd inhaled deeply.

"A bit rich for you, footboy?"

"Just a little, Miss Joanna."

"With what time remains let's see what else you can do for me, to further improve the marks-out-of-ten Satisfaction of Conduct valuation I award you ..."

'Further, improve'? I thought, my hopes rising.

Because from the sound of that, after sniffing her stinky post-flight left foot entirely off my own bat, Joanna was now scoring me better than her stated initial default marks-out-of-ten rating for me of 0/10.

Implicitly, Joanna was again offering me the chance, via 'voluntary', self-undertakings of "extra-obligatory" personal services, to recover somewhat my battered overall average marks-out-of-ten rating and improve on my Lavinia/Bettina/Gemma-scuttled score-to-date.

Throughout these proceedings, I'd maintained support of Joanna's relaxing right leg and continued without cessation my thumb rotating ministrations, first on the bottom of her right heel, and then on her arch. Now, I again changed the focus and transferred these attentions to the ball of her foot, the pads of my rotating thumbs resuming their initial firmness.

And maintaining my supportiveness and my unceasing ministrations, I now self-undertook to press my lips into the sole of Joanna's warm and sweaty dark-pantyhosed left foot, in a reverential, non-compulsory kiss.

My surprise - my astonishment - can be imagined as I soon realised that I loved the sensations of feeling the slight give of Joanna's dark-pantyhosed foot flesh beneath my reverentially kissing lips.

Within seconds, my kisses were not merely reverential but became ardently adoring as with growing abandon I kissed everywhere.

I kissed, and kissed, and kissed.

And kept on, kissing.

Amazingly I wasn't mortified - I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed, shamed, or ashamed.

Gently now I returned Joanna's right foot to the floor so as to be able to take her left foot in my hands.

And then before I knew what I was doing, extra-mandatorily I was licking the sweat-encrusted dark-pantyhose material, licking and licking again, the sole of Joanna's left foot from heel to toes.

I couldn't believe I was doing this.

But much harder to believe, was that I was starting to get a taste for the dreadful amalgam of salty flavours as, extra-compulsorily, I licked.

My saliva released yet more flavours, some of which were an even more atrocious assault on the taste buds. But to my even greater amazement, I began to find these even more immensely appealing, and I licked all the more.

I licked and licked and licked.

And kept on, licking.

Gemma had earlier observed that I hadn't appeared to be "too bothered" about being made to sniff hers and her colleagues' Lavinia and Bettina's feet as a mild chastisement.

No doubt, Gemma would be even more firmly possessed of the same mind and the same sentiments now.

As now, right in front of her eyes, her inchoate, incipient suspicions about my apparently latent but now slowly awakening 'condition' were fast growing and hardening into vindicated and validated convictions.

Because now Gemma, along with Lavinia and Bettina, having all recorded their comments and awarded my marks-out-of-ten ratings on the Footman's Daily Record Sheet, had come over to watch their colleague Joanna finish her going solo having-me-all-to-herself four-minute turn with me.

Her suspicions vindicated and validated incontrovertibly, as by now, acting in a purely self-undertaking, wholly voluntary extra-statutory offering of personal service, avidly Gemma watched, as carefully and gently I took all five toes of Joanna's post-flight end-of-shift tired and achy sweat-encrusted dark-pantyhosed Atlantic-crossing left foot into my mouth - and sucked.

The understandably terrible but unaccountably tasty saliva-released intermingling flavours were far more intense now.

And in probing exploration of this new wonder my excitement escalated and my desire burgeoned as I rolled and worked my now craving tongue along each and in between all five dark-pantyhosed toes of Joanna's left foot in devouring these new, more complex flavours.

I sucked, and sucked, and sucked.

And kept on, sucking.

"Here's the bus!" exclaimed Gemma. "Oh - what a pity!"

"Jo, I can see exactly just how much you are enjoying yourself, but you'd better hurry if you want to get on this bus," cautioned Bettina.

Lavinia said, "Go on, Jo. I'll tell the driver to wait, while you write your comments and award your marks out of ten on the Footman's Daily Record Sheet."

"Something tells me you're going to score the footboy better than we did, Jo," said Gemma.

Gemma went on, "Lavinia and Bettina have both awarded him marks of zero out of ten: Because he messed up a simple little job getting their two coffees mixed up, causing Lavinia to drink heavily sugared coffee when she can't stand sugar at all. And because he wasted a lot of valuable time, too, doing goodness knows what, when that time should have been spent attending to us at our feet. The fact that he obediently sniffed their feet and mine as a punishment, without the slightest complaint or protest, was merely expected of him.

"I've felt it necessary to deduct some marks for each of those things, too, just on principle," resumed Gemma. "Yes, he got off on the wrong foot ... as it were. But otherwise, the footboy Warren has impressed me. I can see why Pearl, the EasyJet hostie who was the first to avail herself of his services earlier this morning, awarded him full marks. Everything considered and taken into account, I've awarded him marks of six out of ten."

Joanna replied, "And it's strictly on principle, too, Gem, that I've deducted one mark each for those two transgressions. Otherwise, I cannot fault him.

"I'm happy to say - and to report as much on his Footman's Daily Record Sheet - that my expectations of our new footboy, Warren, have been quite exceedingly surpassed.

"His Comfort Station conduct, I've found, is as impeccable as one would hope. Equally, his services at one's feet - both of an obligational, and ... extra-obligatory, nature - are satisfactory indeed.

"Which is why I shall be awarding Warren my marks of eight out of ten.

"Eight out of ten: The overall average marks-out-of-ten Satisfaction of Conduct rating, that our new footboy Warren will need to achieve if he is to free himself from our clutches, upon passing Mrs Jepson's Final Assessment Test's eighty-percent-minimum requirement."

Again, Joanna looked at me appraisingly as she slipped her freely-offered, self-undertaken, extra-obligatorily serviced dark-pantyhosed feet back into her well-worn but rather tight-fitting flight-duty pumps, preparatory to going over to the Cabin Crew Comfort Station's cork bulletin board.

To write her comments about me.

*

It was just as the BA air hostess Joanna had said.

She was not unreasonable.

*

In the coming days, directly resultant of performing similar other, wholly voluntary, self-undertaken, extra-obligatory marks-out-of-ten-influencing actions of servile self-effacing self-employments, I would find that many more post-flight end-of-shift bus-catching footsore flight attendants, too, would be reasonable.

The Footsore Flight Attendants continues - and concludes - in Ch. 3.