The Freshman Ch. 04

At 9:30 Cecilia dismissed him and presented her cheek for a good-bye kiss. Jason then had to start on the second part of his duty to the RA, updating his friends on the course material and making sure they were properly prepared for the Tuesday seminar and the Wednesday class.

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The semester's daily routine was settled by Tuesday of the second week of classes: breakfast, classes, exercise, dinner, study. Over the next couple of days Jason wondered about Cecilia, given there was no indication they were any closer than they had been the previous Saturday night. The only way he could find out was to attempt to invite her out to a second classical concert over the weekend.

Instead of asking her out Wednesday night when she was still in his room, Jason decided to wait until the following evening and go over to Cecilia's room, with a vague idea of talking to her and perhaps getting a better idea of where exactly his relationship with her was headed. He called Lisa to escort him through the women's wing. She agreed, but was none too pleasant about it. Jason suddenly realized that Mike must have been in her room and it was likely he was interrupting their evening.

Jason could hear faint music coming out of the RA's room, the extremely haunting sound of women's voices and some very unique-sounding instruments. He recognized the music: it was a song from Cecilia's favorite group, "Socrates' Mistresses". Suddenly he remembered the autographed picture of the group's lead singers hanging on Cecilia's wall. He vaguely wondered about the story behind it.

Lisa clearly was impatient. She either wanted to deposit Jason in Cecilia's room, or escort him back out into the commons area and get back to whatever it was she was doing with Mike. More to avoid looking like a fool in front of Lisa than anything else, Jason forced himself to knock on the RA's door. The moment Cecilia opened, Lisa walked off and quickly disappeared into her room.

Cecilia greeted Jason by presenting her cheek for a kiss. Her appearance was a bit of a surprise. She looked extremely tired from barely having slept and seemed somewhat depressed. Her clothes were different as well. She was dressed in a mini-skirt and halter-top that left her shoulders completely bare, an outfit considerably more revealing than what she normally wore in public. Jason longingly glanced at Cecilia's uncovered shoulders and bare arms and legs. In spite of her exhausted appearance, in her abbreviated outfit she looked extremely sexy.

Jason suddenly became extremely nervous, because he realized he had no real reason for coming over. Cecilia, however, did understand why Jason was in her room. He was looking for answers. For one evening, a time she was in a melancholy mood and her defenses were down, she managed to open a window of her soul to him, even if it was just a tiny bit.

She began by asking him about his classes, taking a genuine interest in finding out what he had done that day. She then passed him a copy of the revised Burnside project, explaining about the paper and why it had kept her so busy over the previous weekend. She decided to tell him more about the professor and her own experiences as a freshman at the university the previous year, thinking it would be a good idea to warn Jason what he could expect later on from Ruth Burnside. She made it obvious her first year at the university had not been fun. It seemed that she did absolutely nothing other than study and work on research projects.

Jason, whose mind still was fresh out of high school and somewhat full of fantasies about crazy college life, was bewildered at the dreariness of Cecilia's first year.

"You didn't, like, go out with anyone, or go to parties, or do anything?"

"That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to study. Maybe, once I get my degree, you know, and a job, then I can relax. Until that happens, I'll do what Dr. Burnside tells me to do, because I'm not goin' back. My ass is hers until I graduate, but I'll deal with it. I am not goin' back."

"To...your housing project in New Jersey?"

Cecilia gave Jason a very sharp look. "That's right Jason, my housing project in New Jersey. So you knew that?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Did Lisa tell you?"

"Uh..."

"Answer me! Did Lisa tell you about our conversation last week?"

"Uh...yeah, she told me."

"So you know about my family, and all that shit."

"She...uh...told me a few things..."

"And I told her not to say nothin'! And she did!"

Jason felt totally sick. He wondered if he had just sparked a fight between Cecilia and Lisa. At the very least he had cut off his only source of information about her, since it was obvious that Cecilia never would trust anything personal with Lisa again. And that the best he could hope for...

Cecilia was infuriated at Lisa, but Jason's fears of an open fight were unfounded. There was no way Cecilia would confront Lisa because doing so would not serve her interests. She still needed Lisa to help her learn how to use the gym equipment, and it was useful to Cecilia for Lisa to remain Jason's friend. On top of that Cecilia was Lisa's RA and at least needed to treat her with professional courtesy. But as for as placing any further personal trust in Lisa; that had ended.

Jason already knew more about Cecilia's background than she had wanted him to know, thanks to Lisa's big mouth. She now felt she needed to somehow explain herself to him, a situation that made her feel very vulnerable. She wasn't sure where or how to begin, and she wasn't sure how much information about herself she needed to give up. She then happened to glance at the picture of the two "Socrates' Mistresses" singers, who quietly and sadly stared back at her from behind Kimberly Lee's handwriting. The thought crossed Cecilia's mind that she didn't need to say anything at all to Jason; that perhaps she could let her favorite band speak for her.

"Jason, I'm gonna make you promise me something. I don't ever wanna have to talk to you about my life before I came to Chicago. I don't wanna talk to anybody about it. I don't wanna think about it, 'cause it's over! I don't want you askin' me, get it?"

"It's OK. I won't ask you. I promise."

Cecilia sighed.

"But I do owe you something, and I'll try. If you wanna understand me, listen to this."

She took the "Socrates' Mistresses" CD out of her CD player and replaced it with an older CD from the same group. She skipped ahead to the song she wanted Jason to hear. She hit the play button, and Jason listened to Kimberly Lee sing "The wall that divides my soul". Jason vaguely knew the story behind the song; that Lee had written the lyrics when she realized she was committed to living in Europe and could never return to her home in the United States. He knew right away why Cecilia wanted him to hear the song and listened to it attentively. Cecilia's life was divided, much in the same way Kimberly Lee's life had been divided. Cecilia thought he did not need to know the details, but the conversation and the song gave him a general idea of what had happened to her the previous year.

As Jason sat quietly listening to Cecilia's CD, she shook her head, signed, and started rubbing her temples and neck. She was trying to cope with a vicious headache and stiffness from having sat at her computer since the beginning of the semester with very little sleep. Jason asked her what was wrong.

"What's wrong is that I'm tired. You know, I'm trying to do about five different things at once. I guess...it just...finally caught up with me."

"Is there anything I can do...you know, to make you feel better?"

The RA thought about it for a moment. Yes, there was something that would make her feel better. She wanted to have her neck massaged and would ask Jason to do it. A neck massage would be a good way for her to test him, to see if he could do something physical to her but stay within the limits of what she wanted. It was a simple desire, but at the same time a very momentous decision, given that Jason would be the first man allowed to touch her in nearly four years.

"There is something you can do for me, if you want. If you could rub the back of my neck and my shoulders I'd really appreciate it."

Cecilia tied up her hair and moved into the room's armchair. She sat quietly, looking straight ahead. Jason, not saying anything, stepped behind the chair and placed his fingertips on her skin. He gently began pressing into the stiff muscles of her neck, slowly working his way up to the top under her thick black hair. He moved his fingers back down, and cautiously massaged her, pressing his fingers in a little harder to get her body to relax. She closed her eyes and sighed, smiling slightly. His heart jumped, as he realized he was doing something that pleased her. He pressed into her shoulders a bit harder and again worked his way back up to the top of her neck. He spent a long time accommodating her request, obediently rubbing harder or softer as commanded.

Jason felt a surge of erotic desire when he realized that if he stood directly over her, he could peek down the cleavage of his girlfriend's halter top and see quite a bit of her chest. He felt extremely daring as he looked down at her breasts, because he knew she had not given him permission to see that part of her body. Jason did not think about the enormous irony of the situation, that she had seen him completely naked several times over the past two weeks for extended periods of time, and here he was, excited about catching a fleeting glimpse of her breasts by looking down into her top.

Cecilia told Jason to put some lotion on her shoulders and continue massaging. She instructed him to move to her hands and arms. He started with her fingers, massaging them one by one, then pressed her hands to try to push out the soreness from all that typing. He moved on to her forearms and worked her muscles as he slowly moved back up to her shoulders. She obviously was enjoying this. He felt a real joy in being able to touch so much of her body and doing something that pleased her.

Cecilia was nodding off. He took her hand and helped her to move to her bed to lie down. Seeing her bare legs and feet Jason wondered whether or not she would like to have the lower part of her body massaged as well. Her voiced sounded infinitely tired as she responded: "I'd like that, Jason. But I want you to concentrate on my feet, and don't go above my knees. I'm warnin' you, don't go above my knees."

Jason spent the next half-hour massaging her feet and calves, as he admired her smooth dark skin and looked longingly at her bare thighs and the small patch of white cloth between her legs up under her skirt. The thought that he would someday get the chance to touch that bare flesh and kiss her tender dark skin tormented him with desire, but unfortunately tonight that part of her body was off-limits.

The sound of her breathing changed, indicating she had fallen asleep. Jason stopped massaging. The sight of Cecilia sleeping and helpless was strange to him, one that he could not resist enjoying for a few minutes. In spite of being in love with her, he also was somewhat afraid of her and it was nice to see her lying quietly with a peaceful expression.

He turned out the light and sat in the dark for a few minutes, wondering what to do about getting out of the room. He did not want to wake up Cecilia just to escort him out, nor was calling Lisa an option. Finally he decided to slip out and head to the commons area by himself. It was late and it was unlikely any of the female floor residents would see him, or if they did, confront him.

As he opened the door, he took one last look at her, as she lay on the bed in her hot room. He fervently wished he could have been lying next to her, both of them naked, after having made love. He wanted that day to come. He knew it would, just not soon enough.

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Two nights later Jason took Cecilia out on their second date. The outing was a repeat of the first date; except that Jason managed to avoid many of the mistakes he committed the previous week. He was properly dressed in a dark gray suit with his shoes properly shined and his shirt ironed, his cell phone was left back at his dorm room, and he already had reservations set up at another restaurant recommended by Mike.

When he met her at her door, Cecilia was dressed in her Danubian dress. Once again she was the perfect picture of feminine beauty and elegance, her physical appearance contrasting with her rough East Coast accent. She glanced approvingly at her date, satisfied at his effort to make himself presentable to her. She rewarded him with a very pleasant smile. She took his hands as she greeted him, but still presented her cheek instead of her mouth for Jason's kiss.

Cecilia spent that night digging deeper into Jason's life, finding out about his interests and what had affected him throughout his childhood. She may have been unwilling to talk about herself, but was very good at getting Jason to expose his most intimate thoughts and desires. She became curious about his nudism, getting out of him his habit of skinny-dipping in his parents' pool while he was growing up and his nude forays around the house when his family was not home.

Throughout the night she allowed more physical contact: more hugging, more hand-holding, more light seductive touches on the forearm, to signal she was ready to move towards a more serious relationship. She worked to put him at ease and make him feel comfortable being with her.

However, in many very small and subtle ways, Cecilia also let Jason know that she would remain in complete control of their time together. By the time the evening ended Cecilia's unspoken message to her boyfriend was very clear; she was not to be crossed. He would learn to meet his own needs by satisfying hers, that to make her happy was to make himself happy. Her disapproval on any detail, no matter how trivial, was something he needed to avoid.

As they walked back through the university following dinner, Cecilia drew herself close to Jason. She put her arms around him and allowed her cheek to rest on his shoulder. She was immensely happy. Yes. He was the one, he the man she had been waiting for. Maybe he didn't know it yet, but he was the one destined to serve her.