The Guy

I'm the girl who lost "the guy." Heed my words ... I know what I'm talking about.

Have you ever fallen so hard in love with someone you felt like you couldn't breathe without them? Your whole world was falling apart and coming together at the same time and nothing, nothing could stand in the way of your happiness? It's floating and falling, good and evil, freedom and a cage.

I know first hand what it feels like because after so many failings in relationships, in life, in everything I tried - all of a sudden - I was that girl. The girl everyone envies because she's got the guy. The guy who is absolutely amazing in every single way, the one who you know will never cheat, never lie, never hurt you on purpose. The one who says everything you need to hear and you believe him because he's the guy!

You may notice, I said "was," I was that girl. I was her because I had him, and I lost him. I really don't know how exactly it happened, I'm sure it was something I did to push him away before he was actually gone, but he was there one day, and then, I lost the guy. I suck. No, really, I do because I'm the idiot girl who lost that guy.

When we're little girls we have this fairy tale idea in our heads about our Prince Charming. He's going to come riding into our lives at our worst possible moments, sweep us off our feet, and take us home to the perfect castle. We'll have the fairy tale wedding, the marriage everyone else wishes they could have and spend our lives happily ever after. We grow up and we keep that fairy tale somewhere in the back of our minds - even though we become jaded. Ah, and that's when the lightning strikes.

Out of no where, Prince Charming arrives, just appears. He's not really riding a perfect horse, like in our fairy tales, but he shows up and suddenly, the world is perfect. But, we, we're not so perfect anymore. We look for ulterior motives, we've lost our childhood faith and trust in those around us. Nothing is what it seems, we tell ourselves. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. We rush headlong into the future with our Prince, but then ... reality hits us like a ton of bricks.

You see, we're damaged. Every adult out there. We're damaged. We've been through and seen so much as adults, we forget that little fairy tale in the back of our minds and let the damage take control of our thinking. We start to doubt, question, and yes, second guess this Prince coming in to rescue us. Fact is, by the time we realize he's come to save us from ourselves, it's usually too late and we've done damage because we're damaged people. Too much TV? Too many bad relationships, too many bad experiences, too much reality, too much.

Suddenly, we're out there, in his arms, risking it all and, well, we pull back. We start doubting, what if he isn't really the one? Who's that he's with, where is he, why isn't he here, we've become dependent on him and suddenly feel weak. No one likes feeling weak, so, we push and we push hard. We listen to friends, family, and take things at face value without finding out the truth. We assume, and well, assumption is a bad trait. Yes, it's human nature to make assumptions, even presumptions, but unfortunately, they always lead to our demise - don't they?

We start to notice little things we don't like, we start to see things we didn't see before, and sometimes, we find things we hate. Isn't that life though? Well, it is, but we don't take that into consideration. We suddenly feel boxed in. What if he isn't really "the guy," what if he doesn't really mean what he says? What if the promises are just to appease us? Our friends really don't help because in truth, people like to keep their friends close and are afraid to lose us. We're no different. Think about it, we've all done it, we've all taken part in the decimation of a relationship or two in our lives.

So, we suddenly push "the guy" away. It just happens, it suddenly becomes a tornado rolling through our lives and he's blown away. By the time we realize we've just destroyed everything we'd ever wanted, it's simply too late. Or is it? Is it ever too late, really? I don't know, but I do know when you find "the guy" with all his faults and annoyances, but with so many traits we love, we have to change, let go of our past, find a future. Give up. Let go, and hold on.

Drop your guard, let down your walls. Let him in, don't do it half way, let him all the way in. Never keep him at arms length. If you do, you will lose everything you've been waiting for all your life. Prince Charming is a once in a lifetime deal - you won't get a second chance to find the guy, or to have him find you.

He's THE GUY, the one. The one you dreamed about, the one with the shiny castle, the one reaching for your hand and saying "Let's go build forever." Hold on to him. You're going to fall, you're going to falter. Yes, you're even going to question him a time or two, if not more, but, I guarantee that every fall is worth it because ... he's the one there picking you up after the fall. He's the guy.