The Guy Next Door

My next door neighbor, Fred, seems like an ordinary guy. Lately, though, I've seen a lot more of him than I really want to.

He's about forty, average build, nothing special to look at.

It all started with him walking around naked inside his house with the curtains open. The distance between our houses is small enough that I can see in there clearly. I ignored him and I thought he had given up. I was wrong.

A while back, I was doing some weeding around the fence that we share between our back yards. I was on my knees weeding when I saw him walking up to the fence. He was stark naked and he began the conversation by saying, "I need to do some weeding, too." I noticed that he made sure that there was a gap in the fence right in front of his little penis.

I wanted to ignore him because I didn't want to encourage him but we ended up talking about yardwork and I think he was getting frustrated since I was ignoring his nakedness. Finally he said, "I hope you aren't offended by my nudity."

I decided to be mean. "I think it's good that you are able to enjoy public nudity without being self-conscious about having a small penis," and smiled at him.

I was hoping he'd be embarrassed enough that he'd go back in the house, but it didn't work. In fact, he immediately popped a boner when I said it.

"You think it's small?" he asked. Then he held it in his left hand and moved it from side to side. "I always thought of it as 'average size.'"

"Uh, no," I told him.

"Well, what do you consider to be average?" he asked. "I'm a good four inches when fully erect like I am now."

"I'd say five to six inches would be average," I said and then I went in my back door. Yard work could wait until he was gone.

The next day, my friend and co-worker, Brenda, came over to the house. I had told her all about my neighbor. "Is that weirdo putting on a show today?" she asked and giggled as she came in the door.

"Not yet," I said, "but I'm sure that it won't be long...in more ways than one," I deadpanned.

Brenda laughed. "That's mean!"

"Let's grab a beer and go for a walk in the back yard. I'll betcha ten bucks he goes for a nude stroll in his back yard right after we get outside."

Sure enough, we hadn't been back there five minutes before Fred came walking toward us.

"He's got a partial hard-on already," Brenda muttered under her breath.

"Don't encourage him!" I told her.

"We might be able to have some fun with this loon!" she said.

He walked up and stood like before, with a gap in the fence so that we could get a clear view.

Brenda made no secret of the fact that she was checking out his goodies.

"Looks like you are really enjoying the fresh air!" she said and pointed at his semi-erect penis.

He was really enjoying the attention. "Well, yeah! Teresa says it's small. What do you think?"

"Oh, it's definitely small," she confirmed. "Not enough to satisfy me, I'm afraid."

"Too bad. I was hoping you'd join me and go naked. Teresa wouldn't, I'm sure. I think she's too 'prudish,'" he said. "I have a hot tub. Sure wish you ladies would join me, even if you wear swimsuits."

Before I could laugh at the ridiculous suggestion, Brenda pipes up and says, "That sounds like fun!" and gave me a big wink.

That's how the three of us ended up in Fred's hot tub, drinking beers, and listening to Fred's boring life story. He was, of course, naked and Brenda and I were wearing swimsuits. I wore a pink bikini and Brenda was wearing a white bikini of mine that I wore once and gave up on because it's way too revealing. Brenda said it was perfect for what she wanted to do.

I noticed that Fred was constantly finding excuses to step out of the tub. All for the purpose of maximizing his exposure, I'm sure. After a while though, he couldn't take his eyes off Brenda. She started making sure that she was sticking her chest out so that her boobs were prominently on display.

I'd seen this trick before, of course, but Brenda is a master at it. Being a big-titty woman, her rack gets lots of attention even when she doesn't work at it. But when she's wearing a bikini that covers very little to start with and becomes damn-near see-through when wet, well...

Her big, thick nips were sticking straight out and he couldn't take his eyes off of them. She'd had a few beers and apparently it doesn't take much alcohol to get her going. She asked Fred to get her another beer and when he stepped out of the tub he had a raging hard-on. She shot me another wink and reached for the beer he offered her.

She said, "You know, I think we would like this hot tub better if we took our swimsuits off," and made a move like she was going to remove her top.

I thought Fred was going to start hyperventilating. "Please do! Please do!" he said.

"First, I want to make sure that you're ready for us!" Brenda said. "Stand up for us!" she told him.

He got out of the tub and she told him, "Stroke it for us!"

He was thrilled to death at the opportunity to masturbate in front of a female audience. Unfortunately for him, he only lasted three strokes and then he shot his load. It was a huge load and he had about four big spurts that went straight into the hot tub.

"Yuck! It went in the water!" I said and scrambled out of the tub before I got any of it on me.

Brenda was laughing as she got out. She pointed at the goo floating on top of the water and said, "Guess you need to clean the hot tub!"

He was standing there dripping and disappointed.

"Too bad you didn't last longer. Things could have gotten 'interesting!'" she said.

"I'll never get in that hot tub again!" I said as we went back to my house.

We hadn't even gotten in the back door yet before she was stripping off her bikini.

"Damn, Brenda!" I said. "I can't believe you didn't wait 'til we were in the house!"

By the time we were in the kitchen she was stark raving naked and holding up the bikini in her right hand.

"Where do you want it?" she asked.

"The garbage!" I told her.

She tossed it in the can. I looked her up and down. She's forty-two and in really good shape for her age. Seeing her in the altogether revealed some information that I'd always wondered about.

"Well, I see the carpet does NOT match the drapes!" pointing at her small patch of black hair.

Instinctively, she put one hand over her crotch.

Figuring it was too late at that point, she removed her hand.

"Okay, okay, ya got me," she admitted. "But don't tell anybody!"

"Honey, from what I've heard, there's plenty of guys out there who already know."

She gave me a dirty look. "That was uncalled for," she said. "By the way, what about you?"

"I'm a brunette. It's highly unlikely that I'm secretly a blonde," I said.

She got a big smile on her face. "You know, suddenly I have a powerful urge to find out for myself!"

"You need to sober up," I said. I turned to go upstairs to dry off and change and she tackled me from behind.

She was trying to yank my bikini bottom down and I was trying desperately to hang on.

"Let go, you crazy bitch!" I yelled at her.

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" she said.

I tried to hold on, but she managed to get a strong enough pull that she wrenched it out of my hands and down around my knees.

"OOH! Looky what I see!" she said.

I tried to cover up, but she goes, "Too late" I've already seen your coochie!" and laughed.

Next thing I know, she's got her face between my legs and she was going to town. I'd never had a woman do that to me before and I have to admit she was pretty damn good at it.

I was lying back with my eyes closed enjoying it and had taken off my top. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and there was Fred standing behind Brenda and stroking himself.

I freaked out. "What the hell are you doing in here!" I yelled at him.

"Enjoying the show!" he said. "And here I thought you were a prude."

I tried to cover up the best I could, but it was too little too late.

"Hey, don't stop because of me!" he said. "Go back to what you were doing!"

"Get out!" I yelled.

"I think you better go," Brenda said, still lying on my living room floor. Then she started rubbing her foot on his leg.

He got down on the floor with her and climbed on top and old Fred rammed it home.

"Not on my new rug!" I screeched at them.

Too late. They were going at it like a couple of wild goats in heat. Once again, he didn't last long, maybe ten strokes at the most.

"No time to bask in the afterglow," I told them. "Get off my rug before you leave a wet spot!"

Fred left and Brenda walked to her car, stark naked and her clothes in her hand.

I just stood there and shook my head. I knew she was wild, but damn!