The Hardheads

Thanks to LordSlamdawgg for beta reading this and to sbrooks103x and Crkcppr for editing and improving the story.

xx

Sarah was my absolute dream woman. Pretty, great sense of humor, easy to be with. At the time, the complete package seemed almost too good to be true. But as it usually is the case, there was one fly in the ointment. A big, black, hairy, ugly fly. That specific fly even had a name - Martin. Okay, admittedly, Martin wasn't big. He wasn't even particularly hairy. Nor was he black. But to me, he felt like the biggest, most pesky and irritating insect in the whole world.

The thing was - Martin was her ex. Whatever that meant in this case. Not her ex-husband and even the opinions whether he had been some kind of steady boyfriend were quite contradictory. He seemed to think that they were soulmates that were made for each other and their inevitable marriage was just postponed due to unfortunate circumstances (namely me), whereas she claimed that they had just been good friends with rare and unsatisfying benefits. I had no idea which version came nearer to the truth as I hadn't been around at the time to witness the events in question.

But I had been around later. I had been around a lot, mainly because we were married. Unfortunately, Martin was also around a lot; too much as far as I was concerned. He always hung around wherever she was, following her like a shadow. At first it was a bit funny until it soon got old. He had no pride when it came to Sarah and was totally immune to subtle hints to give us a bit more privacy. He hung around stubbornly until he was physically thrown out or at least rudely commanded to finally leave us the hell alone. The problem is, whenever someone actually did this, Sarah felt immediately sorry for him.

Still, he was just some kind of minor nuisance in the beginning, an oddity I could easily live with. I didn't really know his true self back then and regarded him as some kind of harmless loony. I think, like me, most people underestimated him and he used that to his advantage. That was a mistake I surely wasn't about to repeat after he was almost successful in driving a huge wedge between my wife and me.

The problem was that Sarah's mother seemed to like him and they met from time to time. Beats me why anyone could like a guy like him, but she did, maybe feeling sorry for him. Anyway, one day he caught me when Sarah wasn't around.

"Hey, Eric. Can you spare me a moment?"

"Sure, what's up?" I didn't know him as well at the time and although I didn't overly like him, I had no real reason to distrust him.

"You know that I talk a lot with Sarah's mother Anne, right?"

"Sure," I said, wondering what this was all about.

"Please don't tell her about this, Anne told me this in confidence." It was a bit ridiculous, he was acting like some kind of secret agent.

"Okay, so what's the matter?"

"Please take this with a grain of salt, but it seems Sarah has confided to Anne that she can't envision a long-term relationship with you. She thinks that you're too immature and selfish," he said in a concerned and amicable voice.

"WHAT?" Damn, that was bad news. I was disappointed and angry, she always had suggested that she saw us growing old together.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger, okay? I just thought you might want to know. I would if I was in your shoes."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks for the heads-up."

"No problem, Eric. That's what friends are for."

To say I was mad would have been an understatement. Too immature? Selfish? I did everything for this woman. How dare she? And to top things off, it seems that everybody knew about it before she had the grace to talk to me about it. Boy, was I hot under my collar. But I decided to wait things out. If she wanted to dump me, she would have to address it.

It seemed that he told Sarah a similar story about me telling my friend Michael the same thing about her. Of course, all of it was complete nonsense. We spent two days quietly sulking until we managed to clarify what had happened. Sarah, bless her benevolent nature, soon forgave him. She regarded him as some kind of crazy puppy that she had to take care of and couldn't hold a grudge against him for too long. For her, this whole episode was as serious as a dog caught chewing on a favorite pair of shoes. She was sure mad at him, but he knew which buttons to press and she soon forgave him and forgot the whole thing. But I never did.

From then on I was more aware of what he was doing and watched him very closely. I can't say that I liked what I saw. My feelings towards him developed from the initial annoyance to a serious frown to active dislike and went beyond that. It got steadily worse the longer and closer I watched him. It was like watching an insect through a microscope. The closer you look, the more details you see, the uglier the thing gets. In the end, I didn't just simply dislike him. I felt actively repulsed by him. Just the thought of breathing the same oxygen molecules that had previously been inside his lungs made me sick. He wasn't unpleasant to look at, he was a nice enough conversationalist if he wanted to be. He displayed an exaggerated, oily friendliness if he needed something. It was almost fascinating to watch him switching it on and off from one second to the other. He never missed an opportunity to slander anyone except Sarah. It wasn't below him to lie, to intrigue, to start false rumors either to achieve something or just for his personal entertainment. More than once I witnessed people getting into trouble because of this, which never seemed to bother him in the least. He just stood on the sidelines, watching in smug amusement. In short - it was plain to see that Martin had an ugly character. That he was dirty, unclean somehow, even if he was freshly showered. His inner ugliness was so overwhelming in my eyes that I felt like it had to be rubbing off onto the people around him.

While some seemed to more or less secretly share this view, I was surprised that others didn't seem to. As I've said, he could be charming and funny if the situation held the promise of some advantage for him. One of the people not seeing his true self unfortunately was Sarah. And of course, he had one big fan. And that person was Martin himself; the man was devoid of any kind of self-doubt. And while he held himself highly, he always seemed to think that other people, especially men, didn't quite measure up to him. He always was a bit condescending, always had a smug smile on his face, always felt compelled to utter a slighting remark. To be honest, if his goal was to drive me nuts, he completely succeeded, he knew it and he reveled in it. I tried to ignore him whenever I could, but it was damn near impossible. I hated him too much too ignore him, it was as impossible as ignoring a root canal treatment. His ugly grin always let me know that he was aware of how much I despised him, that the feeling was completely mutual and that he enjoyed annoying me with his presence.

My problem was that whereas he didn't stick to other people that much, to me he was like shit mixed with super glue. He was always around and impossible to get rid of. Why did he do that? Because Sarah was always around me. How did he manage to do that? Because Sarah wanted it this way. She had this strange protective streak when it came to him. I never learned why they split up or even if they had enough of a relationship to do something resembling a split-up. But one thing was clear, he seemed determined to get her back, to worm himself back into her life, seeing himself as her true soulmate. Of course, being the asshole that he is, he wasn't shy about doing everything he could to soil her opinion of me. I thought that strategy was quite transparent, I tried to warn her, but she chided me as being childish and was totally oblivious of what was happening. My numerous attempts to tell her what was happening and to force her to get rid of him fell on deaf ears. I was making things up, I was paranoid, he was just an old friend, he was totally harmless. You get the idea. It drove me insane.

And then there was this promotion at work. That was really the worst that could have happened. I was one happy bugger in my old job - I enjoyed it and I excelled at it. Why did my bosses think that someone who does a job well has to do something else, just because it's located at a higher position in the corporate food chain? And I couldn't really refuse because we needed the money. The new job was okay, but unfortunately it also included some travel. Two or three days at a time would have been okay, but I had to travel to China twice per year for four full weeks. Sure, they gave me plenty of pain and suffering money for it. But this was just not what I had envisioned for my life.

The events I'm describing began when I was at the airport, about to leave for China.

xx

"Ah, honey?"

"Yeah, Sarah?" I was checking the departure board again. The flight seemed to be on time.

"You know that Martin has split up with Tina?"

"Oh, I didn't even know he was in a relationship." 'Who is this Tina anyway,' I thought? But I didn't dare to ask because I had probably met her at some time and Sarah surely knew exactly when and where.

"Well, he was. They were even living together."

"Okay." I wasn't particularly interested in details about this asshole's life. I couldn't have cared less and I hoped my tone showed this clearly. She was unperturbed though.

"He has to live in a hotel now."

"Hmm. The flight seems to be on time."

"He can't really afford it, you know?"

"I just hope the connecting flight in Shanghai won't be delayed."

"He doesn't know where to stay. He's really in trouble."

"They have a driver waiting in Chengdu." I refused to talk about Martin, but she stayed on track like a damn railroad engine.

"You see, our guest room..."

"No!"

"Eric..."

"Don't Eric me... I hate the bastard. I seriously hate him with all my heart."

"He will be gone when you return."

"I doubt it."

"I promise."

"And even if he's gone by then, you want me to accept him living with you for weeks?"

"Why not?" She seemed honestly surprised about the question.

"I've got news for you, he's got the hots for you, my dear Sarah. And he will use the time to get near you. To drive a wedge between us. To denigrate me."

"Oh, come on..." But her smile made me wonder if she knew this and was secretly flattered with the attention.

"Be honest, please."

"You can trust me, Eric. I know how to handle him."

"So how would you react if I wanted to live with Laura for a few weeks?"

I was satisfied that I had been able to shut her up for a few seconds.

"Would you accept it, Sarah?"

"I would trust you."

"Would you like it?"

"No. Honey, I know you don't like this. But please trust me. He's an old friend and he's in a real quandary."

"The other thing is I don't want to touch him."

"What? Why would you have to touch him? You're going to be in China."

"I don't want to sit on a toilet seat he's used. I don't want to eat from a plate he's used. The whole house would be stinking of him. I'm not kidding when I tell you I absolutely hate him."

"You have to admit that that's totally weird. But okay, if you feel better, I'll clean the complete house before you return."

"So are you asking for my permission or have you already decided on this?"

She had inherited the house, so officially I had no say in this.

"I have kind of decided already," she said sheepishly.

"Sarah, I'm asking you not to do it," I said in a tone that I hoped reflected the seriousness of the matter.

"No, you're not asking me," she said almost indignantly.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're demanding it. And I don't like that one bit."

"So, what if I'm demanding it? Is that too much to ask for? I'm the man you're supposed to love, I'm your husband."

"Yes, it's too much to ask for. Because you do it for the wrong reasons. You do it out of some weird, unjustified jealousy. That's childish and I'm not going to deny a friend in need the help he requires because of that."

I was boiling inside now and I was at the end of my wits anyway. She had chosen this moment to give me only a minimum of time to react and to discuss this. 'Well, if she wants to keep this discussion short, she can have that,' I thought.

"Great, so have a nice time with him. Don't let me stand in your way."

"Eric," she just said while I was grabbing my bag, standing up.

"Eric!" This time she was a little more forceful, obviously not believing that I had just turned around and was heading towards the gate.

"Eric, you can't be serious...," was the last thing I heard while I passed the security check. No goodbye, no kiss. Yes, that's exactly how mad I was.

As I was waiting to board, my mobile was still on and I heard a message coming in. Later, as I was seated, I checked it.

"U r childish. So go ahead and sulk."

'Great,' I thought while I switched the thing off.

xx

The four weeks in China were a little difficult. Quite difficult, actually. I worked like mad to distract myself, but the nights were long, lonely, mostly sleepless and full of doubts. What if I had overreacted to this? I had possibly made it even easier for Martin to win her over. Shit. But I was also too stubborn to contact her for the full four weeks and she didn't contact me either. We were both incredibly stubborn and this was one of the situations where it showed. Sure, I still loved her, but I was not willing to deal with this asshole for the rest of my married life, with him lingering in the background, waiting for his chance. She had to decide, him or me. And I wasn't about to beg for it, it had to be her decision.

xx

Nobody was waiting for me as I exited the gate in Frankfurt four weeks later. I had already anticipated that, but was still disappointed. I resigned myself to becoming a divorcée when I heard someone behind me.

"Still sulking?"

"Sarah!"

She flew into my arms and we kissed like newlyweds.

"Don't you ever do that again, okay?" She playfully punched me.

"Okay, but only if you don't ever do such a thing again."

"Come on... you know that wasn't a game. I was helping an old friend."

"Sarah, you remember that you promised me that he would be gone upon my return?"

"Ah..."

"And you remember that I predicted that he still would be here?"

"Eric, honey..."

"He is, isn't he?"

"He had difficulties finding something."

"He has no motivation to move out. He is exactly where he wants to be, living with the woman he wants."

"Come on, don't be ridiculous."

"Sarah, you've promised this. Are you about to break your promise?" I wasn't about to let her off the hook that easily.

"Eric, please... I have no choice. He'll be on the street if I don't help him."

"So what about that promise?"

"Eric, let's get home, okay? I'm going to show you who's the man in my life. I've missed you soooo much."

"Sarah, what about that promise?"

"I have to break it," she meekly said.

"I see." I sounded as sad as I felt. I felt like I was about to lose her.

"Please don't blow this up. It's no big thing."

"It is for me. It means I can't return home."

"WHAT?"

"I'm not going to live in the same house with him."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. I hate him. I can't be around him, it's physically impossible." She looked at me like I was nuts.

"Please let's drive home first. We'll talk to him. I didn't know this was that serious for you. I'm sure he will understand."

"HE will understand?" I said, "I wish you were as concerned about ME understanding!"

"I'm sorry, Eric," she said, "It was a poor choice of words. Of course I care about your feelings. Please just come home and we can all discuss this like adults."

"Okay." I know, I was weak, but I was tired, lonely and anxious to get home. I wanted to touch her, to make love to her again. I just needed to find a way to get rid of him.

xx

"Martiiiin, we're home."

"I see, Mr. Wonderful is back." He smiled like this was a big, nice joke, but I knew sarcasm when I heard it.

"Yeah, I'm back. When are you going to leave?"

"Eric! Martin, please come to the living room, we need to talk."

"Sure, honey." Honey? Boy, was I beginning to get mad again. I began to ask myself how intimate exactly they had been with each other.

"Stop, Sarah. He calls you 'honey'?"

"Eric, this is just Martin being Martin. You know how silly he is."

"Yeah, sure. I don't buy that for one second."

"Come on, let's talk about it."

As we entered the living room, he had captured the other half of the sofa before I could reach it, so he was sitting together with her.

"So..." she began.

"Sarah, can you see how we are sitting here?"

"What?"

"He's sitting on the sofa with you. I'm the outsider after being four weeks away."

"What? Oh. He's right, Martin. Would you please?"

He relented, but if looks could kill, I'd be dead on the spot.

"So, boys... Martin... It seems Eric is uncomfortable with you staying here. I kind of promised him that you'd be gone upon his return and you promised me the same..."

"I know, I know. And Sarah, honey, I'm..." It was fascinating to watch how quick he could change his demeanor. He suddenly was in full pleading mode.

"Martin, please don't call me honey, okay?"

"Oh, sorry. Hon... Sarah, please don't kick me out now. I don't have the money for a hotel. You know that I'm currently in between jobs. And it's so hard to get an apartment without a job."

"So you plan to stay here until you've found a job AND an apartment?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, I'm hoping that Sarah won't kick me out until I've resolved this crisis." He put on his best puppy look and it seemed to work.

"Eric, I think I can't refuse him that."

"Will it take long?"

"Martin?"

"No, certainly not," he lied.

"Okay, so this is just for a short time, Sarah?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, relieved.

"Good, then the hotel won't be that expensive."

"What hotel?"

"You can lend him the money for a cheap hotel."

"Eric, you can't be serious. Martin is deeply in debt already and we have an empty guest bedroom. That makes no sense."

"Okay, then I have to live in a hotel meanwhile. I absolutely refuse to live in the same house he is. Let me know when he's gone."

"What? Seriously? I can't believe this. Eric, I'm sorry, but not you are behaving totally unreasonably." She was about to get mad and the whole discussion was heading towards the drain fast. Martin was the only one with a contented expression on his face.

"What a nice welcome home. Another guy living in my home and now I'm the asshole."

I picked up my bag and my suitcase and started to go to the door.

"Eric, you're not serious about this, are you?" Her voice was still far from being friendly.

"Sarah, wake up! He's trying to drive a wedge between us and he's succeeding. This is a serious thing. You've already broken your promise for him. You, you alone have to decide between him and me. Until you're not committed to me, I'll have to leave. I think you still don't understand how serious this is for me, for us."

"Eric, that is utter nonsense." She had firmly dug in her heels and so had I.

"Sarah, he is the most serious threat to our marriage so far. But he only is as long as you let him. It's solely your decision."

Was I over reacting? I don't know, but she certainly seemed to think so.

"Okay then, go ahead. I'm calling your bluff." She seemed seriously pissed, but so was I.

"Bye, Sarah. Let me know when you have decided."

But she had already turned around towards asshole.