The Health Spa

DAY 1 - JUICE

I was exhausted. Flying from the USA to a tiny island in the Indian Ocean was a major trek. Still, two weeks of chilling-out, fasting, and sunbathing was something I had always wanted to do.

I arrived late at night, and was directed to my room, which was basic, but included a toilet, shower, and the essential mosquito net. The temperature was still boiling, and I knew I would not need many clothes.

At breakfast, I was introduced to the other clientele, which, as usual, were mostly female. (Over the weeks, we got to know lots about each others lives back home, but I will omit this stuff, as it is not very relevant here).

Just arrived were myself, Sue, and Eve. Olga, a small and wiry Swiss woman who ran the centre, got us to fill in a questionnaire, and explained the regime, and any options there were. Without exception, we all went for the most rigorous programme - why travel all that way for something you could do at home? Here is the schedule:

6 a.m Rise, exercise, meditation

7 a.m enemas

9 a.m juice/shivambu

10 a.m at leisure

1 p.m juice/shivambu

2 p.m massage

4 pm enemas

6 p.m discussion/evaluation

8 p.m bed

Some of the events were rather unclear to us, but Olga said she would explain as time went on. For today though, we could wander around the beautiful location, eat a light vegetarian diet, and chat to the existing clients.

Whilst strolling back from the beach, I came across Joanne and Peter, who had been here for two weeks already. Joanne in particular attracted me: her skin was flawless, and she wore the minimum of clothing. Whilst chatting, I found out that she planned to move here, and be a therapist. I asked her about some of the treatments.

"Well, Mike, the enemas are really good. You will start with a small amount of water, but this will increase as the days go on. Drinking shivambu helps as well."

I had not heard of this before today.

"I'm drinking it now" she said, as she clearly savoured the almost-clear liquid in her glass. "It is nicer than the best fruit juice, but you will have to wait a few days before you try it".

The rest of the day involved finding my way around the large wooded area, reading, snacking, and bed.

DAY 2 - I GET MY SKIRT

We all met at 6a.m. in a shaded area, used for exercise. Olga took us through a few gentle yoga routines, and finished early, so she could give us an explanation of the regime in more detail.

"Welcome" she began. "I'm sure that your time here will remove the stresses, tensions, and toxins that we all have in our lives. All you need to do is follow our rules - we remove the decision making from you. Let me explain.

From now, you are on a water and fruit-juice fast. You can drink as much as you like, but a minimum of 5 litres per day. There is absolutely no solid food.

Every day, you will be given 2 enemas. I imagine that most of you will be familiar with them. We will start off with a tiny volume, but this will increase as the days go on. Massage also helps in the removal of toxins.

Finally, I need to mention sexual tensions. We are all attractive people here, it is hot, and we don't wear many clothes. We don't want the stresses of sexual relationships to intrude here, so please don't do this. It is a spiritual time. The staff shall watch out for this, and report back to me. Any questions?"

"NO? Then it is enema time!"

The enemas were given by Olga and her assistants in a large room, separated into small rooms with thin blinds. Each room had a primitive toilet, so there was a bit of privacy, but we could still hear each other. I was familiar with enemas, so did not need to have a detailed explanation. Olga gave me a no-nonsense 1 pint enema, and told be to use the toilet immediately. It was embarrassing being overheard, but I guess it was for everyone.

After more juice and a spot of sunbathing, we met at around 1pm, for even more water and juice. Afterwards, Olga took me on one side.

"Mike, you recall we discussed the avoidance of tension? Well, I'm afraid I'm seeing some tensions within you." I explained that I felt really relaxed, but she continued.

"Your tension is sexual, Mike, and this is not good for you or the ladies. Let me be explicit. When I gave you an enema, you had an erection. It also happened when you were sunbathing with the ladies, even though your speedos kept it down, I could see a bulge. In fact it is a natural reaction. It is hot, and we don't wear many clothes here. No problem though, we are used to this, and the problem is in your hands, so to speak. Will you work with us on this?"

I didn't know where she was going, so what could I say but yes?

"Excellent" she said, bringing out a white garment. "This is for you to wear all the time."

It was a kind of cotton skirt, a bit like some women tennis players wear. It was very thin, and around 12 inches long. But what was the point if I was wearing speedos already?

"The point of this is that it does not hold down an erection, and we can all see it. Being white, it also shows if you have produced any mucous. Of course, you need to wear it next to your skin, otherwise it is pointless."

This was shocking. She was correct that I got erections - who wouldn't - but walking around wearing a white skirt and an erection sticking up. No way!

Olga had heard this all before, and she explained that it was just diagnostic. The real point was to remove the erections.

"I'll give you some condoms, Mike. When you get an erection, use one to release yourself - yes, I do mean masturbate - and bring me the filled condom to show me you are serious. Also, if any of us see an erection, they might tell you to go and release yourself. Is that OK?"

Well, I was not given a choice. But it seemed fairer when Olga explained that Sue and Eve would also be wearing white panties, and I could ask them to masturbate if I saw any mucous showing. I agreed, and went off to put on my new garment in private.

After my scheduled massage, Olga came to give me my enema again. Predictably, I had a huge erection which lifted my white 'skirt', but Olga was forgiving. "I know that many men have an enema fetish, and I will ignore your erection at this time" she said, and proceeded to administer a 2 pint enema.

During the evening discussion time, I managed to sit with my knees crossed, to conceal my erection - this was essential, because the subject arose. Olga pointed out that Peter had been many times before, hence did not need to be monitored. He could wear black speedos, and Olga was confident that he would not get an inappropriate erection. As for Joanne, she was in fact allowed to wear thicker black bikini bottoms because of her experience, but she welcomed the extra monitoring for spiritual purposes, and chose to wear thin cotton panties, as we could see.

After the discussion, Olga announced a meditation session. "We will sit in a circle, cross-legged or lotus pose, and meditate on raising our energies up from the lower chakras." Unfortunately, this involved standing up, and my skirt revealed an erection. "Mike, I think you need to go and release your tension. We will all wait."

I did not expect this to be announced in public, but when I returned with a full condom and huge embarrassment, I got smiles and praise all round. And it worked! I could meditate and forget the fact that I was surrounded by semi-naked women.

DAY 3 - URINE

Rising at 6a.m as usual, I realised that I would need to release before exercising in my skirt. Speedos or baggy shorts would not show a problem, but I was not allowed them. I used a condom, and took it along to the exercise class for Olga.

"Look everyone", she said. "Mike has released again. That is so considerate. Peace and love, Mike!". Everyone wished me peace and love. I felt a great warmth, which overcame my embarrassment.

The day continued as normal, with a slightly bigger enema. At morning juice time, we drank copious amounts of juice and water as normal. The only difference was when Olga announced that we could not urinate until the midday juice session. She would explain why then.

At midday, we re-convened. "Now everyone" said Olga. We are going to begin the ancient practice of shivambu, or amaroli. This involves drinking your own urine. Yes, I can see worried looks from you newcomers, but it is not as bad as it sounds, and it is very beneficial. Now, I would like you all to go back to your room, and fill a glass tumbler with the mid-stream of your urine. You can discard the rest for now."

In a few minutes, we returned with our glasses.

Olga explained that Joanne had been drinking her urine regularly, and Olga asked her to demonstrate.

Joanne proceeded to sit on the floor in full lotus, roll her eyes up, and drink her glass, slowly and calmly.

"Thank-you Joanne - we will now let you meditate on your experience." To the rest of us, she continued: "Because Joanne has been drinking urine and living on a light vegetarian diet, she tells me that her urine tastes rather like apple juice. This might happen to you over the next few days, if you follow my instructions. You should begin today by drinking half a glass of midstream urine. Increase the amount by half a glass every day. After 4 days, I want you to drink all your urine - yes, every drop. Every time you pee, catch all your urine and drink it. But also, you need to drink a large amount of water, and reduce your fruit juice intake - so you will be living on water and urine. This is an accepted regimen in some styles of advanced yoga."

Phew!

"Now, let us all savour our urine. Drink it slowly, and swish it round your mouth, half a glass please."

We all did. It helped if I avoided smelling it, but it did not taste as bad as I thought. Afterwards, we could drink lots of water, which helped.

"Well done, all. If anyone is super-keen, you may finish the glass", she smiled.

We all did.

DAY 7 - MORE ENEMAS

I was drinking all my urine now - lots of it. In fact, I had to go around with a bottle to catch it. The taste was quite clean now, and I drank masses of water, as instructed. Talk about recycling! I felt wonderful!

My enemas were up to 2 quarts, twice a day, and surprisingly, stools still appeared - I was expecting it to be clear water. Olga explained the problem.

"The body can cling on to a huge amount of waste matter, as you all are finding out. So from now on, we will change the enemas. I want you to do them yourselves, and there will only be one session a day. However, the regime is new. Listen carefully now. Give yourself two 2-quart enemas. Whilst holding the first one, do the yoga shoulderstand pose to help circulate the water, and please hold for 15 minutes. Take the second enema, and hold for 15 minutes. Then, expel it into the enamel basins I have placed in your rooms. Bring the basins back here for inspection when you have finished."

In an hour or so, we returned, placing our basins on the floor. Olga began the inspection.

"Peter and Joanne - yours is virtually clear. Sue and Eve, there is still solid waste matter, so you will need to do three enemas in future. Mike, yours has even more solid matter. Four for you in future, I suggest."

I felt unclean - why me? The feeling persisted until Joanne caught up with me later.

"Don't worry", she said with a smile. "When I started here, I had to do five enemas, now I'm down to two. You are doing so well with your urine drinking. That will really help.

DAY 9 SUE RELEASES

Going well. I am down to 2 enemas for a full cleanout, and my releases feel quite normal and guilt-free. In fact I had the confidence to suggest to Sue that she needed to release, as shown by mucous showing through her white panties. She took this in good part, saying that she was a little tense. 10 minutes later, she re-appeared with a shy smile, to gentle applause from us.

Day 11 - PREPARING TO LEAVE

3 days to go, and a lecture from Olga.

"For 11 days you have been fasting on water and urine. The time is approaching for you to return to the real world, and this must be done gently. Today will be your last enema and urine day. Tomorrow, we move to fruit juice and then we will gradually introduce solid food. In 3 days, your body will be ready. We need you to keep up with sexual releasing, because your clothing is still brief, but stop this on the final day."

We knew this had to happen, but the routine was so enjoyable and healthy. I had to ask...

"Olga, do I really have to stop drinking urine?" I said.

Olga smiled. "Did you ever think that you would ask such a question, Mike? But yes, you need to stop - though some people drink a glass per day, and you might want to try this. The taste will change though, and you might want to stick to a vegetarian diet. Frequent enemas must stop, but you might want to try one per week. More frequent, and it will disrupt your normal elimination. Any more questions?"

There were none. We filed out slowly.

DAY 14 - LEAVING - AND AN INVITATION

I had lost 10 pounds, had a deep tan, and felt super-healthy. After breakfast, I went to pack. There was a knock at the door. It was Joanne.

"Mike, I've really enjoyed this retreat with you. I admired how serious you were with releasing sexual tension, but if you come next year..."

She stepped out of her panties, took my hand, and pressed it against her vagina.

"We may be able to find a different way to release, yes?"

My erection was rock-hard, lifting my skirt. She laughed, and walked out, waving goodbye.

Yes, I would return. In fact I booked next year's retreat before I left.