The Keeping of Lena Ch. 02

Hi Lit friends! It's been far too long, I have missed all of you, and I look forward to catching up!

A brief note about this chapter:

So I've written, scrapped, and re-written several different outlines and drafts for The Keeping of Lena over the last year or so, mainly to see if I could move this story over to the romance category, since I'm truly a sucker for classic HEAs.

Sadly, my attempts were utter rubbish.

As much as Ilove reading and writing traditional romance, it would appear that Lena and Renz want to remain firmly in Non-Con, at least for the foreseeable future. As such, the next few chapters will be more on the rough and dark side of kinky, so consider this fair warning if you prefer your desserts a bit sweeter ;).

Love,

B xoxo

*****

Lena immediately scrambled to her feet at the sound of Ava's scream. She could feel Renz staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak.

But she couldn't bring herself to talk to him.

She could hear him continuing to call her name as she struggled to gather her discarded clothing, fixing herself into something at least resembling modesty, but Lena could not muster the motivation to answer him.

She couldn't even bring herself to look at him.

She could only focus on the mindless motions of dressing.

Lena jumped when she felt his firm touch on her shoulder, immediately struck with a lightning-like surge of inexplicable fright. Overcome by panic, Lena launched herself over to the double doors of the bedroom suite, clutching the gilded handles protectively.

"Lena...I'm not going to hurt you," Renz said slowly.

She swallowed hard as he carefully began to approach her, terror continuing to escalate. She tried to steady her breathing, and remind herself that she had no reason to be frightened. Renz loved her. He'd told her he loved her.

He'd also told her he'd never hurt her again.

But the more Renz approached her, the more fearful she became.

Ava screamed again, and Lena was once more reminded of her purpose. Something had happened to Ava. She needed to go and see her.

She wasn't sure if he'd finally acknowledged her nonverbal cues, but Renz suddenly stopped moving.

"What's happened, Lena?" Renz asked. His deep, powerful voice had softened, filled with concern.

It was too much for her to listen to.

Lena's sweaty palm slipped against the handle as she flung open the door, and she rushed down the hallway before Renz could catch her.

******

******

It was as if it was their first night all over again.

Renz hadn't seen that look in Lena's eyes for months — that expression of sheer terror. She'd looked so tiny and fearful, wordlessly curling herself against the door like a cornered wild animal, retreating from him as if he were some great, terrible monster.

He couldn't understand where exactly he'd gone wrong. She'dtold him she desired...force. Lena had been so timid, yet so brave, when she'd shared her deepest sexual fantasy, telling him in clear terms precisely what she desired.

The request had at first bothered him, for he knew his own dark lusts were to blame for its manifestation in its innocent host. But it was still an ask he knew he'd never be able to refuse. Renz wanted to beall of Lena's fantasies, just as she was the embodiment of all of his desire. He wanted to satisfy her, fully, and indulge all of her wishes.

He wanted her to never feel compelled to seek her pleasure elsewhere.

The night prior, their exploration had been a success. His Lena had climaxed for him more than she ever had, seven sinfully sweet summits that had caused him as much pleasure as his own release.

She'd also told him that she loved him, for the first time.

But tonight, something had gone wrong. He'd fucked her the way she'd wanted, hard, until she was screaming and exploding, her tiny body quivering in pleasure. He knew he hadn't imagined her orgasm, the swelling and pulsing of her sensitive clit, or the way her pussy contracted so tightly, it was nearly painful for him to remain inside of her.

But after their sex, she'd run away from him as if he'd used her against her will.

As if he'd truly forced her again.

Renz replayed their sex, wondering at what point her arousal had become fear. Had she protested? Had he somehow not heard her telling him to stop?

He thought back to the sight of her on her knees, her pretty, curved lips stretched around his cock. She'd looked so beautiful to him, her bright blue eyes staring up at him in nervous anticipation as he'd fucked her small mouth. He'd pumped himself into her deeply, the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat. She'd struggled and gagged against him with delicious wiggles and spasms, further provoking his desire.

Renz felt himself beginning to harden again at the recent memory, as the sounds of her high whimpers and moans began to echo in the empty suite. He could picture her before him again like a phantom, her slender, beautiful body naked, ripe, and vulnerable for his taking. He thought of how delicious and helpless she'd looked partially restrained, with his hand holding her wrists as he'd fucked her from behind. He thought of the sharp, titillating arch of her bare back as his cock had stretched her body, and the way her soft, narrow hips rotated and quivered when he'd begun teasing her clit.

He thought of the way her nipples had hardened when he'd held her back against his torso, his hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. Those sensual muscle lines in her stomach had tautened, her ribs pressed against her stretched skin as if in great strain. It was as if he couldsee the pleasure rolling over every inch of her flesh, the faint goosebumps that had risen and erupted as she came for him, while he was inside of her.

But perhaps it had been a different form of arousal rolling through her body. Perhaps it hadn't been pleasure.

Perhaps it had been fear.

It was a complex coupling, the thin line separating excitement from fear, pleasure from pain, and Renz knew that at some point tonight, he had pushed Lena further than she'd wished to go. Renz had managed to terrorize her again, because once more he'd managed to lose control of himself within her.

He could no longer reason that he'd indulged in force simply to satisfy Lena's unique desires.

Tonight, there had been a very real, unmistakable pleasure within him that had quietly manifested directly from Lena's fear, and Renz knew he needed to silence and destroy that impulse, before it could gain life. It was something dark and violent, not too dissimilar from the sick lusts of the men who had paid his brother handsomely to abuse young, poor women.

Perhaps he and his brother were far more similar than he'd suspected.

Or, perhaps he'd inherited much more from his violent father than he'd hoped.

It was as if some demon inside of him had been reacting to Lena's fear, possessing him, causing him to fuck her harder even when he should have known she was afraid. It didn't matter that her body had kept moistening, that she'd kept squeezing around him — her body was simply defending itself against his assault. He'd forced an orgasm out of her tonight, just as he had the first night he ravaged her.

She hadn't given herself to him willingly.

He'd barely begun to earn her trust, and tonight...it had already shattered. He wasn't sure if Lena could forgive him again.

He wasn't sure if hewanted Lena to forgive him.

But if she did, if by some, divine miracle, Lena's resilience granted him another gift of mercy he didn't deserve...Renz knew he'd have to tread carefully. He couldn't indulge in rough, forceful sex with her, despite her sweet begs and pleas, for Lena was simply too innocent, too hopeful and trusting, to understand just what she was asking for.

His Lena, his beautiful, sweet, pure Lena, had no way of knowing the extent of the utter depravity of the dormant, monstrous thing she'd awakened within him.

And he needed to destroy it, before it destroyed her.

******

******

"Ava, I can see the baby's head...I need you to keep pushing," Karl said encouragingly. Lena tried to stifle her scream as Ava squeezed her hand again, hard enough to bring her to tears. She felt something pop in her wrist, and it was immediately followed by a sharp, aggressive pain.

Lena bit down on her inner cheek to stifle her cry, until the metallic taste of blood flooded over her tongue. She didn't dare vocalize her pain, for it was insignificant in comparison to what Ava had suffered with for the past several hours.

Lena had dutifully remained at Ava's bedside as Karl supervised the arrival of the newest Wolfenbarger. Despite Karl's urgent recommendations, Ava had vehemently rejected the presence of any of Karl's nursing staff, as well as the staff of Schloss Wolfenbarger.

And to Lena's private joy, Ava had also rejected the presence of Renz, despite his urgent insistence.

Lena knew that it was just a sense of propriety and decency that prevented Ava from allowing another man, besides Karl, into the birthing room with her while she delivered her child. But she was distantly thankful to Ava nonetheless.

Lena couldn't handle being around Renz yet. She was too afraid.

And too ashamed.

"Goddamnit, Karl, how much longer is this going to take?" Ava moaned weakly. Her lovely features were fixed into an expression of pure agony. Her face was tear stained, and her brow was arched in palpable pain. Her skin was ghostly white, as if all of the blood had been drained from her body.

Lena absently glanced over at the pile of soiled towels and linens that had gathered over the last hour, disturbed by the amount of blood that covered them.

For the first few hours, Ava's shrieks had echoed throughout Schloss Wolfenbarger. If Ava's screams were any louder, Lena had a feeling that she could have shattered all of the windows.

But now, Ava's sobs were near silent, far more chilling than her booming cries. Lena found herself wishing that Ava would start screaming again, for at least that would mean her strength was returning.

"Ava...I need you to stay strong right now. Can you do that for me?" Karl asked. Ava weakly shook her head.

"I can't do this," she whispered sadly. Lena brushed back Ava's damp hair with her free hand.

"Yes you can, Ava. You're nearly finished, isn't she Karl?" Lena asked hopefully, glancing down at the doctor.

"Yes, Ava, don't give up now. Keep pushing...you're about to meet your newest child. Isn't that exciting?" Karl encouraged.

Ava's entire body trembled as she continued to squeeze Lena's hand, her mouth parted in another near-silent, horrifying scream.

"I can't...it's going to kill me, I can't," Ava moaned deliriously, shoulders shaking with fresh sobs.

"Ava, darling, please push. One more good push and you can rest, I promise, sweetheart. You're a goddess, Ava," Karl urged.

Lena could tell that Karl was distressed, and clearly exhausted. He'd been supervising this birth without the help of any of his staff, per Ava's demands. Lena had tried to be as helpful as possible, gathering clean towels and water whenever asked, but of the two of them, there was no denying that Karl was the one who'd performed the true travail.

And despite his clear physical weariness, he looked at Ava with a firm determination that almost brought tears to Lena's eyes. She wasn't sure if Karl was even aware of it yet, but he had the look of a man fully in love. It was more than obvious that Ava had quickly become his entire world.

Lena wondered if Renz ever looked at her like that.

"All right...one more," Ava acquiesced hoarsely, before deeply inhaling with a sharp wheeze.

With a final, piercing scream, Ava finally began to push. Lena could hear Otto nervously barking downstairs, as well as the sound of Dot crying in the next room. A violent shard of pain, followed by the sound of ringing, filled Lena's ears as Ava's shrill cries hurled throughout the halls of Schloss Wolfenbarger.

With a quiet whimper, Ava collapsed on the bed, her overly exerted body trembling, thin, and weak.

And then, there was only silence.

...Too much silence.

Nervously, Lena glanced down at Karl, and she immediately brought her hands to her mouth in horror.

"Where is the baby? Do I have a boy? A girl?" Ava asked, shifting onto her shaking elbows. Lena looked from Ava to Karl warily, desperately hoping that she was seeing things incorrectly.

"Ava—"

"It's a girl, isn't it? I have another daughter?" Ava asked hopefully.

Lena felt her heart break as Ava finally got a clear view of Karl in front of her. Ava's weak smile slowly faded into something so frightening, Lena couldn't truly identify it.

Ava didn't look sad, nor did she appear angry, or even shocked. There was no frown or scowl on her lovely face. No fresh tears.

Ava was horrifyingly numb.

"Ava," Karl said slowly.

Ava didn't react to the sound of his voice. Her breathing was imperceptible, and she sat as still as a statue, her face a blank, hollow mask. Her unblinking eyes were wide and pale like glass, as lovely and expressionless as a porcelain doll.

Not knowing what else to do, Lena reached forward and placed her uninjured hand on Ava's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Ava," Lena whispered. Lena swallowed hard to keep from crying, for she knew that her tears were inappropriate. She had no right to cry when Ava was the one who'd suffered the painful loss.

Lena looked at Karl, who sat helplessly holding the still child. A baby boy. She and Karl shared a look, before Karl reached for a fresh towel to wrap the lifeless body.

******

"You should get some rest, Lena," Karl said quietly. She looked over to where Ava silently lay, finally asleep after Lena had bathed her.

The sight of her, motionless and hollowed, was heartbreaking.

"I think you need far more rest than I," Lena replied, turning her gaze back to the doctor. He looked almost as weary as Ava, but Lena knew that his physical exhaustion was the least of his woe.

Karl was carrying Ava's pain as if it were his own.

"I can watch over her. You need your rest," Lena repeated. Karl shook his head.

"I can't leave her, Lena. This...this is my fault. I shouldn't have..." Lena frowned in confusion.

"Shouldn't have what?" Lena asked. Fear briefly flickered across his eyes, before his face contorted in an expression of utter shame.

"Karl, what is it?" Lena asked nervously. Karl hunched over and cupped his head in his tired hands.

"I...I touched her. She asked me to. I know that I shouldn't have, but...I didn't want to refuse her. I couldn't. She's been through so much," Karl confessed.

Lena gently placed her hand on Karl's shoulder.

"This isn't your fault, Karl. You did everything you could for Ava, and for the baby. I have no doubt that Ava knows that as well," Lena offered. Karl smiled bitterly, unconvinced.

"I highly doubt that," Karl muttered. Lena shook her head.

"Well...it was just the night before last that Ava told me herself: you make her feel celebrated. She cares for you, Karl. Deeply," she countered. Karl's smile beamed genuine for a fraction of a second at Lena's words, before fading once more into weariness.

They sat together in silence as Ava remained motionless and sedated, her form fragile and slight beneath the ornate blankets of the large bed. Lena watched aimlessly as the fireplace quietly sputtered and flickered, before coldly dying altogether with a final, somber sigh.

But the lost warmth was quickly replaced by the light of a new day, as the gentle, near-winter rays of the early morning sun slowly crept along the floor.

Lena looked over to Karl, comforted to find that he'd finally fallen asleep in the armchair he occupied.

With a final glance at the bed to confirm that Ava was still resting, Lena began gathering the soiled linens and basins of water before fully cleaning Ava's suite, working with the same, silent swiftness she'd learned in her life as a chambermaid.

It was a life that seemed years away, lived by a person unrecognizable, even though she was separated from that version of herself by less than a season.

"Damnit...how long was I asleep?" Karl muttered. Lena gently shh'd him, neatly folding and smoothing an extra clean blanket at the foot of Ava's bed.

"Barely an hour, I assure you. And you need to rest some more," Lena whispered back. Karl shook his head, frowning like an indignant schoolboy.

"How quickly you forget that you too are a patient of mine, Lena," Karl said sharply. Unperturbed, Lena sat down next to him.

"And how quicklyyou forget just how well you cared for me. I'm of good health because of you. Let me help. Please. I care for Ava, too," Lena pleaded softly.

Karl gazed at her in annoyance for several moments, and Lena wondered if he was going to shoo her away. But with a defeated sigh, his anger appeared to begin to fade.

"Fine. There are a few things she's going to need once she wakes up. Go have a servant call on one my nurses in town—"

"I'll go myself. What does she need?" Lena asked. Karl rolled his eyes and ran an exasperated hand through his messy hair.

"Damnit, Lena, this is not the time to be obstinate. You know that Renz would kill me if—"

"I'll go with an escort. Don't worry about Renz. What does Ava need? I want to do this for her," Lena said firmly.

Karl still appeared suspicious and unsure, but it seemed as if he were too exhausted to argue with her. With a sigh, he reached into his jacket pocket for a small notebook and pen.

"You'll start with my hospital. And you willnot go anywhere unaccompanied. There are some more medicines Ava is going to need for the pain and the infection. I'll write down the names for you here. You'll give this list to my colleague Doktor Engel, and he'll prepare everything for you. He should be easy to find," Karl said.

Lena nodded, silently repeating the name to herself.

"Does she need anything else?" Lena asked. Karl paused and frowned, before continuing to scribble on the pad.

"More bandages. Stitches. Obviously she also needs...comforts. Unfortunately I don't know quite what that is, or what would be most meaningful to her—"

Lena placed her hand on Karl's, sensing escalating distress.

"How about some bouquets? They'd look lovely in this room. Do you think she'd enjoy that?" Karl nodded sharply, almost a tremor.

"Yes. Flowers. She should like flowers. Buy the most beautiful ones you can find," he replied. Lena nodded and collected the list from him.

"Please do try to get some rest, Karl. I'll be back soon," Lena said. She tenderly squeezed his shoulder, before slowly stepping out of Ava's quarters.

Lena briefly returned to her suite, washing and dressing as quickly and silently as possible. And once finished, Lena wrapped her arms tightly around her body as she descended the grand staircase of Schloss Wolfenbarger, tightly clutching the list Karl had prepared for her. It was almost as if it were a fundamental symbol of purpose, an object to keep her grounded and focused on a specific task.

And distracted from her fear.

But despite her best efforts at suppression, fear still haunted her, silently stalking her fleeing body like a malevolent shadow. As much as she tried to look forward to the light, the shadow was not far behind, still touching her and reaching for her, threatening to pull her fully into darkness.

The hairs at the back of her neck extended petrified, and Lena knew that meant that Renz was nearby, and moving towards her. She wasn't sure what room he was in, or from what direction he was approaching, but still she could detect his presence. Her form seemed to automatically react to him, a magnet helplessly drawn to a more powerful body, for Renz was entirely elemental — a fierce, disruptive force.