The Knowing Ch. 04

But now she stood in front of Jaan avoiding his gaze, and knowing completely, truly that she still felt the same exact way she felt when she was 16.

She could hear Danielle saying something behind her but time had been on pause for both her and Jaan for who knows how long. Finally she could see him visibly and audibly exhale a loud shaky breath and suck one in again.

"Heyyyy" he said on his second exhale, the ending coming out wobbly like he was underwater.

Santos smiled at him, "Hi Jaan"

He stared at her for a beat, "Yea, yea so..." he trailed off.

Danielle said something to the both of them but she didn't understand. They continued to look at each other. "Danielle, she brought me in for this assignment, I used to work with her a lot over at Ceilings."

It seemed for a moment he was brought back, "The art magazine?"

"Yea before they went totally digital, we did a few editorials"

"Oh, so you shot the stuff with Luca Wong and Connie Spano?"

She knodded. "Yea, she set me up with Alejandro Ahmed too over at Paw,"

"You know Alejandro?"

"Yea nearly 7 years now."

"7 years?" Jaan was surprised, "So then you know, Cesar and Oscar? All those dudes who started up Suttons and everyone at Edge too?"

"Yea, I used to live with Kreuzer and Class in Berlin. I lived with Castro Diaz and Rodri out in Cartegena too. You know all of them?" they stared at each other even longer.

"How long have you been living in New York then?"

"Well, 7 months now."

"Now?"

"Yea I went to school out here."

Jaan laughed so hard he wanted to cry, "You went to school in New York City?"

"Yea after a year, after that year I was in Martinique. SVA" she said.

He shook his head, "Parsons"

His eyes where wide in disbelief, "How did we never run into each other?"

"I don't know," she said

"We know all the same people."

It was her turn to laugh now, "It seems so."

"How did I never see you, or hear about you?"

Danielle cleared her throat, "So wait, you two know to each other."

Jaan nodded his head, but he was suddenly afraid to speak. Know wasn't even a tenth of it, "We went to high school together, he was my brother's best friend." She said.

Jaan looked at her. He had been her lover, he had been her best friend, she- she was his everything.

"That fine ass brother of yours?" Danielle looked at Jaan in shock

"The older one"

"What's his name?"

"Sanchez" Jaan spoke.

"Oh yea, that's his name! Beautiful" Danielle laughed. "Ok, so we don't have to do awkward introductions or anything, you two already know each other," Danielle pulled out the ipad she had been holding underneath her arm, "Do you want to check out her portfolio?" she held it out toward Jaan and he took it numbly, still bewildered, his heart pounding in his chest. He still couldn't believe that she was there, that she knew most of his friends and colleagues, that she had gone to school in New York, and that he had missed her for over a decade. He swiped through the ipad, looking at images blindly. The truth was that he had seen the work before. He knew it pretty well, and had attributed it to some other photographer. As he passed through image after image he was aware that her work was good, but still too jittery to make sense of it.

"So?" Danielle said after a moment. He had breezed through the portfolio the screen was now blank.

"Ummm..." he looked up quickly, and caught Santos' brown eyes staring at him. He couldn't get over it. She looked the same, it was like she was still 17, she hadn't aged a bit, and looking at her made his stomach roll, nausea settling deep in his throat. He exhaled nervously, "These are, yea they're good." He looked at Danielle and then back at Santos. "So you're down to do the profile?"

She nodded her head slowly. "Yea I'm already in contact with the stylist for the day of the shoot. We are going to keep it light, probably only four on set, the stylist her two assistants and myself, and Chronixx"

"Are you in contact with his people already?" Jaan asked

She nodded her head slowly, "Her boyfriend's actually good friends with him." Danielle interjected, "They toured together last year."

Jaan starred at Santos. She held his gaze. What did he expect? Hearing that she had a boyfriend was definitely a punch in the stomach, but honestly, they hadn't seen each other in years, of course she was in a relationship.

"Who is it?" he asked quietly.

"Peter Tubbs."

"Peter Tubbs!" Jaan laughed with mirth. Peter Tubbs was a superstar. The second coming of Reggae, the mythical godchild of Bob Marley, his music was political in the style of Peter Tosh, but catchy and profitable like Buju Banton or Beenie Man. He had also suddenly become a darling of the fashion world and was regularly seen walking on runways and modeling in fashion spreads. Two summers ago he had starred in a remake of The Harder They Come, which had garnered so much attention and critical acclaim that he was nominated for awards across the globe. Paradoxically he was fiercely private. He rarely gave interviews, but was known to be incredibly funny in person, razor smart, and unapologetically, pro-black.

"How the hell did you meet him?" Jaan asked.

"It's a long story" Santos shook her head slightly. She didn't want to talk about it.

"How long?"

She stuck her tongue out of her mouth slightly it touched her bottom lip. "Umm 5 maybe 6 years?"

He was outmatched. 5 years ago he could barely function when he thought of her and she was already out there falling in love with one of the most famous men on the planet. She probably had never even missed him, not for one day.

"Oh," Jaan was silent. Danielle was pumped though.

"That's why I suggested her. She was their tour photographer last year, and she photographed Peter Tubb's first American world tour like, 7 years ago, right? So she knows these guys, it will be really intimate and casual but edgy with the clothes that Julie has picked out" Jaan nodded absently looking at Danielle blankly. So she had known Peter Tubbs for 7 years? "We're shooting him in his hotel, on a basketball court in Crown Heights and also in some restaurants around that area. It'll be good." Danielle continued, " So are we good here? Will you sign off on it?"

Jaan could sense Danielle's excitement. "Yea Danielle, I think it will be great." He looked at Santos and nodded, "It sounds good." She nodded back and looked at Danielle.

"Ok cool! The shoot will start on Friday, I'll e-mail everyone their call sheets right now" She started backing up out of the room. "Hey Santos, stop by my office before you leave? I'll let you two catch up."

They were still both standing, and Santos looked at him cautiously unsure of her next move.

"Jaan." She said quietly. He had turned his back to her and was looking out the window again.

"I don't know what to say to you." He said plainly. It was true and she didn't know either.

"Yea, It's..." she trailed off.

Jaan looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. "There is— " Jaan started but he had no idea how to finish his sentence.