The Linguist

It was an after work party at a local pub and I’d imbibed more than my share of the local brew. My tongue was loose and my self control less then. I’d migrated over to a group of co-workers discussing office politics when a slightly off-color remark caused me to deliver a quick pun filled one-liner. The group fell apart in near hysterics. As we slowly recovered what little dignity we had left I ordered a fresh pint. I had to reach through the group to get it when I felt a woman lean close to my left ear.

“Pretty nimble with the words there. That was amazing.” Her voice was pitched low and conspiratorial. I spoke out of the side of my mouth to her before I looked at her.

“Amazing? That’s nothing. You should see what I can do with my nimble tongue when I’m not talking.” I worked my drunken smile into a drunken leer and turned to see that I was talking to a most beautiful woman. I was temporarily stunned and so inadvertently held her gaze far longer then usual (for me at least). Her eyebrows rose a millimeter then relaxed.

“You seem a bit drunk.” Had I been sober I would have been apologizing profusely at this point. Of course, had I been sober I would have never made the comment in the first place. I wasn’t sober, I was drunk and so like a drunken fool I stayed the course.

“Well that’s not really a problem. Unlike other parts of the male anatomy, good drink simply loosens the tongue allowing increased performance not to mention the inability to monitor the passage of time.” That got a laugh from her as well as a shake of her head.

“You are quite the confident one aren’t you, maybe a little cocky.”

“Alas and most unfortunately a lack. For in my case through absolutely no fault of my own my cockiness comes with a small ‘c’. Perhaps I overcompensate with my linguistic predilections.” I was so far out of my depth that I did something so uncharacteristic that I surprised me. “Just to show you that my intentions are strictly pleasurable…” I fished a pen out of my pocket and flipped over a Guinness coaster.

Bearer is entitled to one hour of lingual expertise. Without expectation of reciprocity.

I placed it in her hand, gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked away.

I was half down in the pint when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to find the beautiful woman smiling at me. “Stick out your hand.” I did half expecting a slap when she placed her hand over mine closed my fingers around something silky soft and lifted my hand to my face. Her scent enflamed and enchanted me. She held onto my hand and lead me out the back door to a quiet corner of the parking area. “I want a sample.” She grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled it slowly up until her separate thighs met.

I quickly maneuvered her against a wall and knelt before her. With a minimum of struggle I managed to lift her up so that the back of her thighs were resting on my shoulders, my hands supporting her ass and my mouth level with her cunt. The lift surprised her and she made it clear that she wasn’t overly pleased until I started licking. That seemed to change everything.

She was very wet and her scent was powerful. She must have played with herself a little when she took off her panties. I went straight for her licking around and around. Her moans told that I had guessed right about what she wanted and where she wanted it. Every couple of times around I’d give her clit a direct swipe of the tongue. Then two swipes, three swipes, four, and then continuously. I was relentless. I was just about to deliver my trademark move, a thorough tongue whacking, where you suck the clit up into your mouth clamp down on it with firm lips to hold it in place then lick it vigorously back and forth, or up and down, as fast as you can slowly increasing the ‘hardness’ of your tongue. The move wasn’t needed as she started to come. Her hips and thighs were jumping about and her fingers were pushing my head into her. She was doing that sexy exhalation ‘oh’ really fast, ‘oh..oh..oh..oh..’ her voice rising in pitch. Then she screamed, ‘OHHHHHH.’ And quickly pushed my head away disengaging my tongue from her cunt. I slowly lowered her to the ground. Her legs were pretty shaky as I smoothed her skirt. She was leaning against the wall panting with a smile.

“Very nice. Excellent. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Is there a queue?” Ah the sound of a woman’s voice, except that these comments were all coming from behind me and sounded all too familiar. I turned slowly to see three of my female co-workers standing not 5 feet from me.

“OH MY GOD - IT”S MARK!”

“I told you it was the quiet ones you have to watch out for.”

“Who knew - I don’t know of anyone he’s dated? Do you?”

Which was true. I was not the kind of guy to pursue women as good-looking as these three. I felt a hand on my arm an turned back to the beautiful woman. She kissed me softly on the lips. “Thank you. I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed that. I wish I wasn’t flying out tonight I could have made good use of this.” She waved the coaster in her hand. “Friends of yours?”

“Yeah, well co-workers.” I smiled. “Mind if I keep your panties?” She smiled. “Sure. Thanks again you were just what the doctor ordered. I only wish I could have sampled your bedside manner.” She drew her hand across my cheek and lips turned and walked away. She was waving the coaster in her face like a fan. Then the most incredible thing happened. She stopped, paused, turned and walked over to the three women.

“He gave this to me in the bar. It entitles the bearer to one hour of what I just got. Anyone interested?” My chin hit the asphalt as the three women squabbled over it. The beautiful woman put an end to it.

“I have always found that sharing a good thing between friends is better then trying to keep it for your self. One hour girls – twenty minutes each, it took my less then ten.” She held the coaster out until all three were holding on to it. “Share and share alike.” The beautiful woman turned and winked at me.

The three women talked quietly and quickly. They looked at me like a hungry wolf looks at a tethered sheep. “Mark, if you’re not too tired I live just down the street. Would you care to join us?” The coaster was waved back and forth in front of my face. My eyebrows raised and I swallowed deeply – okay it was a gulp.

Maybe deer in the headlights was a more accurate description of my expression. “Come again?”

“Oh you can be sure of that!”