The Lionel Train Mixup

Wendy Johnson grew up as an only child to a couple of parents who hated winter. So, Wendy was raised to think that winter was always just something to bear with until the days grew warmer, when the three of them could take their beloved speedboat out on the lake once again. So, it was a big adjustment for Wendy when she married Kevin. He came from a large family that lived for the holiday season. They made the most of every day from Thanksgiving through New Years.

Kevin introduced Wendy to more holiday traditions than she could count. Wendy resisted at first, but eventually got over her "bah humbug" attitude. In time, she really began to enjoy Christmas, seeing it through Kevin's eyes.

A year after they got married, Wendy gave birth to a son. They named him Richard. (Ricky for short). Over the years, Kevin especially delighted in seeing how much his wife enjoyed experiencing Christmastime with their son. It was almost as if it was just as new to her as it was for Ricky.

When Ricky turned five years old, another family tradition kicked in. It was time for Ricky to wake up on Christmas day and find a Lionel train set under the tree.

"What does 'O-gauge' mean?" Wendy asked her husband. She was wrapping the box that contained the engine, while Kevin wrapped a bigger box that contained the track, the power supply, and some basic scenery.

"I don't know if the O stands for anything, but look here. See how this track is almost two inches wide, and how that engine you are wrapping is about eight inches long? That makes it O-gauge. There's also HO, which stands for 'Half-O.' That track is only an inch wide and the engines are only about four inches long, and there's also N-scale, which is about half of that, again. But neither HO nor N are good enough for our boy. No, siree, Bob."

"Oh, whatever. I'm sorry I asked. Just tell me, can I use the same wrapping paper for the caboose, or do you want to be able to tell them apart?"

A week had gone by and it was now the day before Christmas. Wendy was running around somewhat frazzled. She and Kevin had tried to arrange twice before to be together when Ricky sat on Santa's lap to have his picture taken, but Kevin kept getting called into work to solve a recurring computer emergency. So, finally, Kevin told Wendy to just go without him.

She went to a mall where the arrangement was that the kids played in a play area that was set up to resemble Santa's workshop while the parents stood in line. As they reached the front of the line, they'd go fetch their kids and then join a second, shorter line that actually led up to Santa.

Most of the parents standing in line with Wendy were heads-down with their smart phones, but the woman standing immediately behind Wendy was writing a note. Wendy then noticed that many of the parents were handing notes to Santa just as their child was about to be placed on Santa's lap.

"What's that note you're writing there?" Wendy asked the woman.

"Oh, I'm letting Santa know what toys I bought for Madison, so that he doesn't promise her something that she's not going to get."

"Oh, that's a good idea. I should do that, too."

Wendy opened her purse and scrounged out a piece of paper and a pen. The only piece of paper she had was the envelope from a Christmas card that she had just received. Her best friend from college, Gail, had just moved to Chicago, and Wendy had saved the envelope for the return address. So, Wendy tore off the return-address part and used the rest of the envelope to write her note: "Santa, I'm putting a train under the Christmas tree tonight, after Ricky goes to bed."

When Wendy and Ricky finally reached the front of the line, a cute Santa's helper in a green skirt and leggings distracted Ricky for a moment while Wendy handed Santa the note. Santa read the note, but he looked confused. He read the note again, and then gave Wendy a big smile.

So, Wendy was completely baffled when Santa ignored the note and led Ricky to expect toys other than what the note said he was getting. Frustrated, Wendy hastily paid for the photograph order, took her claim check, and led Rickey away.

Later that evening, Ricky's father, Kevin, answered the door to find five men in Santa costumes standing on his porch. "Has Ricky gone to bed yet, or are we early?" the lead Santa asked with a wink.

"Who are you? What's going on?" The father was clearly not expecting this.

"Well, um, your wife gave me this." He handed over the envelope with the corner torn off. The front of the envelope showed their home address. On the back, in Wendy's handwriting, it said, "I'm pulling a train under the Christmas tree tonight, after Ricky goes to bed."

Kevin laughed and yelled back over his shoulder, "Hey Honey, you did it again!"

Wendy tightened the sash on her robe as she approached the front door. "What's up?"

He held up the hastily written note and pointed to the word "pulling." "You forgot to cross your T's again! Do you know what pulling a train means?"

Wendy's face turned bright red. "Well, that explains everything." She laughed so hard that she cried. After a moment, Wendy settled down and said, "Well, I guess there's only one thing to do then."

Kevin said, "Right." He opened the door wider to let the Santas enter. "You go add more rum to the eggnog, and I'll get the video camera."

Five orgasms later, a completely disheveled Wendy looked into lens of the camera and said to her husband, "I think I figured out what the O stands for."