The List of 250 Favorite Authors

I made the list of the 250 favorite authors. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad. Last time I checked, I was last on the list, until someone realized their mistake and removed my name from their list of favorite authors and bumped me from the list of 250 favorite authors. Then, when I checked this morning, I was right back on the prestigious list bringing up the rear (I don't do anal) and firmly in last place. Ah, life is good. Thanks Ma and Dad for adding me to your list of favorite writers. Only, I didn't know you read erotica. Ewww!

Daniellekitten is in first place. She deserves it. She's a good writer. She has red H's on all of her stories, but for three and all of her poems but for one. She's even won two contests.

I've never won a contest. I work hard when writing my contest stories, but the bashers don't like any of them and zero out whatever good scores I get. I'm going to have to find out what stories the bashers like so that I can win a contest, too. And every time I get a red H, some fun loving guy or gal makes sure they give me enough low scores to lower my scores below the red H zone of 4.50. I have a ton of stories with scores of 4.46 to 4.49. If it wasn't for Literotica sweeping my page from time to time and ridding it of all the duplicate nonsense scores, I'd have no red H's at all.

Then, I started wondering, who are the people ahead of me, especially those in the lofty top one hundred and twenty-five places, and I was surprised to find out some things about those writers that I must pass to get to the top one hundred and twenty-five.

TryAnything in 6th, Kimberlykitten in 12th, DWSimon in 23rd, Powerone at 31st, Rob in AZ in 33rd, Spacer X at 38th, Bearlee at 45th, No Panty Girl in 63rd, Artisticbiguy in 64th, Jennifer01 in 70th, Jt123 in 81st, Singularity 86th, PasssionStJohn 98th, Sachiaiko 107th, Mindfiend 110th, Musicankane 114th, and Juliancoreto 118th (I feel like I'm calling a mega horserace) have not submitted stories in more than a year. I guess they've been busy. Only, I thought this was the 2007 list of 250 favorite writers. Nonetheless, it is nice to still be remembered as one of the top 120 writers even after not submitting anything in a year. I hope they remember me should I take a year off and not submit a story.

"Bostonfictionwriter? Who's that?"

"He posted a story yesterday."

"Nah, the name doesn't ring a bell. Sorry. I don't remember him."

Now, even though Zaxxon has not submitted a story in more than two years, he still made it to 17th place along with VertigoJ in 35th, Velvetpie 47th, Carsonshepard 48th, DamonX 55th, Anne240 65th, Sir_Nathan 79th, Green_Gem 102nd, Ladyofthemasque 103rd. Boy, those must have been some really good stories two years ago. I can't even remember what I was doing two years ago, never mind being able to recall a story.

Amazing, it's been even longer, 3 years, that GeorgeTasker submitted a story, yet he still managed to snag 19th place, way to go George, along with MaxSabastian 59th, Stormbringer 60th, English Bob 69th, Bobby T 73rd, Nikki_2020 74th, KillerMuffin 80th, Wavyscribe 91st, NakdSalr 117th. I hope three years from now I'll be up there, too. Hmm, I think the key to that formula is that I can't post a story for three years. I don't know if I can do that.

NiteWriter hasn't submitted a story in more than 4 years and still made it to 58th. I'm going to have to take the time to read his stories. They must really be good to still be remembered after 4 years of not posting anything.

Tawny T who hasn't submitted a story in more than 5 years, an eternity in erotica, when 5 minutes is the span of recall in the life of a horny pervert is a lifetime, still made it to 37th place and Wm_Sexspear to 101st, G. W. Lawrence 108th, Mark Singer 116th. Can you imagine the poor bastard checking the Literotica site every day with cock or vibrator still in hand waiting for Tawny T to post chapter 6 of her Lactating Lesbian Lady?

"Honey, when you go to the store, get me more double A batteries for my vibrator again. Tawny T still hasn't posted chapter 6."

She must really be a good writer who wrote amazing stories for people to still remember her, to list her as their favorite writer, and to make the 37th spot of favorite authors when even I don't remember my last story that fell from the main list a few days ago.

Colleen Thomas is 9th on the list even though she hasn't submitted anything since 2005, but for one story in 2006. Nonetheless, I can tell she is really good because of the number of contests she has won and number of the green E's that she has.

Surprisingly, rgjohn is 10th on the list after having a long three year absence and submitting some illustrated stories in the middle of 2007. Way to go, rgjohn.

Okay, now this one puzzles me and hopefully someone can enlighten me, as I am still relatively new around here. Drksideofthemoon made it to 13th place on the 250 favorite author (the keyword here is author, as in writer who has written a story to submit and to post at Literotica) list without ever writing and submitting a story.

Wow! Now, this guy really must be a good writer to nail down 13th place without ever writing a story. I'm going to add him to my list of favorite writers 'cause I really feel that he should win, matter of fact, I'm crossing out Hillary and Obama and voting for Drksideofthemoon for President. If he can make it to 13th place of the 250 favorite authors without ever writing a story, imagine the job he'll do improving the economy.

I wonder what his secret is. I guess I'll never know as he has yet to submit a story. Maybe, he's a really good reader. Gees, I hope he's not dead and Literotica deleted all his stories. That would be terrible. Only, it is good that his memory still lives on and haunts this 250 favorite author list. Rest in peace, Drksideofthemoon. I hope no one tells Literotica when I die because I don't want my stories, forgettable as they are, deleted.

"What's that? Someone already told them that I'm dead. Yeah, very funny."

Scouries made it to 25th place on the list. Enough said.

I don't know, I'm slow sometimes, but...I suspect that this list has little to do with the quality of the writer and his or her ability to write and tell a story, except for those who obviously have talent and we all know who they are. No, not me. I'm just a hack who is having the time of his life writing every day.

I don't know, I'm going to throw something way out in left field and tell me what you think. I think this is a popularity list. Gees, then that means that, no way, I win as the least popular, or in this case, the least favorite author here.

"Okay, I gladly accept this award. Thank you very much. Believe me, it was not easy to write nearly 200 stories and almost 50 poems and still be so disliked. I cannot believe I pulled it off. I want to thank you all for not listing me as one of your favorite authors. I love you! As far as those who have listed me as their favorite author...what are you nuts?"