The Love Boat

"Why the hell would she want to have a baby if she doesn't love you?" asked Sky.

"We have a pre-nup," I said. "My lawyer insisted on it. If we get divorced in less than a reasonable period of time she gets nothing. On the other hand, if she got pregnant, I'd be legally required to support my child, which would give Danielle a link to me financially."

"She really is a sick bitch," said Sky. "I still can't figure out why she hasn't come to see you yet."

"It's the way Danielle handles every argument we've ever had," I said. "She gets pissed and then runs off and we don't see each other for a few days. If she thinks she's right, then she expects me to make the first move and call her. If she knows she's wrong then she'll come crawling back crying and sniffling and begging me to forgive her. Usually it doesn't matter who's wrong, the makeup sex is phenomenal."

"Too much information," said Sky. "So what are you going to do when she does show up?"

"It won't matter," I said. "I'm done with her. I already have my lawyer looking into an annulment. If I can't get the annulment, he'll start the divorce process."

"How can you get an annulment if you've already had sex?" asked Sky.

"Easy, the rules for annulments have been updated in our state to fit modern relationships. Since most couples have already had sex long before they're married, annulments are given for a variety of reasons. One of them is if a marriage is terminated within a certain, very short, time period. In my case I had my lawyer start barely 24 hours after the ceremony. Another reason is if the marriage was under false pretenses. I now know that Danielle only married me for my money. I'm very sure that I'll get the annulment."

"Okay, I hate to keep asking you question after question," said Sky. "But if you don't love her and you're kicking her ass to the curb, why'd you get so upset about her letting that asshole grab her ass?"

"Sky, it was embarrassing. It was a pride thing. I wouldn't care if she met up with the guy later and fucked his brains out, as long as she did it discreetly. But to just let some guy feel her up in public, while I was there, was beyond insulting. You have to know Danielle to understand her motivations. She did this for one reason. She was angry at me because I didn't come back to our cabin to have sex with her before we had dinner at the Captain's table. It was her way of showing me that if I didn't watch my step, she could easily find someone else."

"She's pretty conniving isn't she?" asked Sky. I just smiled and nodded my head.

"Okay, enough talk about your wife's crap," she said. "What do you do for fun around here?"

"Uhm, Sky, I'm in jail," I said.

"No, Honey," she said. "We're in jail." From the first moment that I'd met Sky I knew that there was something different about her. I just felt weird around her. It was kind of like she just belonged in my life. When she said, "We're in jail," and she called me, "Honey," I didn't know how to feel. I just felt like smiling. But it wasn't the kind of smile where you move your mouth to show happiness. It was the kind of smile that comes from the inside and just explodes out through your mouth because you really are that fucking happy.

"So what kinds of games do you like," I asked.

"What have you got?" she replied. We started out playing Monopoly on my iPad. Believe me it wasn't my idea. I didn't want to take advantage of her. I am a professional financial advisor after all. Or at least that's what I thought until she beat me. She was still laughing about it a couple of hours later when the security guy came in and told me I had another visitor.

Sky and I just looked at each other.

"It's not HER," said the security guy. "I did remember that you don't want to see her. Not that she'd tried to see you anyway. It's the lady from last night, the really pretty one, who was your first visitor."

"He's talking about Emma," I said to Sky. "She's Danielle's best friend. She's the one I overheard Danni spilling her guts to. She's a nice person."

"Do you think she's here on your wife's behalf?" asked Sky. "I'll go and get us some breakfast while you talk to her."

I nodded and the security guy let Emma into the room. She and Sky looked at each other curiously in passing.

"Who's your friend?" asked Emma.

"I met her yesterday while I was running," I said.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" asked Emma. "I could go and get you something. I'm not sure of what they'll let you have but I can find out."

"Sky is going to bring us breakfast," I said. "That's where she's going now."

"Cal, I spoke to the Captain," said Emma. "He's really torn. Most of the people on the ship think you got a raw deal but there's a small group of people who want you to stay locked up. The captain also has the problem that there've been some thefts aboard the ship and some other crimes. I think they're trying to link you to all of it."

"Don't worry Emma," I smiled. "I'm fine."

"What did Danni, say when you spoke to her?" she asked.

"Emma, I haven't spoken to Danni since dinner last night," I said. Emma looked alarmed.

"What's wrong, Emma," I asked.

"Well, nothing," she said.

"Emma you may as well tell me. As far as I'm concerned nothing you say is going to shock me."

"No it's really nothing," said Emma. "I just thought that she was down here with you. I'm going to go and find her right now."

"Emma, don't bother on my account. I'm so pissed at her right now that her staying away from me is probably a good thing," I said.

"But Cal, you know how she gets when she's angry. This whole honeymoon has been one problem after another. And she blames herself. First, you guys couldn't Uhm...you know on your wedding night. She blames herself because she really didn't know that you'd get seasick. Then yesterday, Cal you should have seen her. She got all dolled up in her best lingerie and waited for you all afternoon. So she was already pissed when you guys went to dinner. She thinks that you've already gotten bored with her. So I really think she was just trying to get you interested in her again and it just got out of hand."

I looked at her ruefully. "Would you have done that, Emma?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I'd have dragged you down to our cabin and had it out with you and then fucked your brains out."

"Most reasonable women would have," I said.

"But Cal, you know that Danni isn't most reasonable women. She's...well I'm her best friend and I love her, but even I have to admit she's a bit spoiled. But you're partially responsible for that. Cal, you buy her anything she asks for and you do anything she wants. So if she's become a bit spoiled, you're at least partially responsible. You're the best thing to ever happen to her. Maybe she was feeling a bit threatened. She doesn't want to lose you" said Emma. "There's also something else you don't know about. Danni told me something before we ever left for the cruise. While we were putting our dresses on before the wedding she told me not to plan on seeing a lot of you guys. She came on this boat with one thing in mind. You guys were going to have a lot of sex because she wanted to be pregnant before you got back. She said you guys had talked about having kids and she wanted to give you one before you'd been married a year."

"She had this whole thing planned out. She wants three kids and she thinks you should have them early on in your marriage. That way by the time your career really takes off, you can retire early and the two of you can travel and just enjoy each other while you're still relatively young."

I wondered whether Emma really believed all of that, especially after hearing Danni talk the previous afternoon. I looked into her eyes and I got the idea that what Emma was talking about was Emma's dream not Danni's. Danni had just told Emma what she wanted to hear, to keep her friend from thinking that Danni was just using me.

"Okay Emma," I said softly. "I guess I just need a few days to get over this. I'm really pissed at Danielle right now, so the two of us seeing each other wouldn't be a good thing."

"Everyone's talking about her like she's some kind of whore," said Emma. "I actually think that it would be better for the two of you to make up sooner rather than later. This isn't really the kind of thing that's going to make her feel any better."

"I'm just too pissed at her to even talk to her now, though," I said.

"But Cal, you're better than that. That's just anger talking. You're hurt from what she did. Trust me, I know all about being hurt. I know what you're feeling now. Remember why I'm on this cruise with you two. But in the end your situation is better than mine. At least you have the chance to still be with her."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said. "Emma, go have some fun yourself. If you need any money or anything let me know. Someone may as well have a good time here. And that security guy out there really likes you."

Emma's eyes got bigger. Before she could say anything, Sky knocked on the door and then rolled a tray into the room.

"I'll come back and speak to you later," smiled Emma. I noticed that she looked over Sky yet again and shook her head.

"Okay, I heard the end of that," said Sky as she spread out our breakfast. "Tim," she called loudly. He poked his head in the door. "We need another chair."

She continued to set things up on the little table. A few moments later Tim was back with another cheap folding chair. She smiled at him as he set it down. Then she stepped back and looked at everything she'd set up.

"Okay, let's eat," she said. As I started in on my toast, Sky started talking.

"Emma really seems to be concerned for both you and your wife," she said. "It just goes to show you, even a horse thief like your wife can have people who believe in them."

"I wish you'd stop saying that," I said.

"Okay, I'm sorry I called her a horse thief," she said. "In the old days the worst thing you could imagine a person doing was stealing your horse."

"Not the horse thief part," I said. "You keep calling her my wife."

"Ooh somebody's hurt is starting to show a little bit," said Sky. "I know just how you feel. Believe me, I've been there."

"God, I wish everyone would stop saying that," I said.

"Honey, love is a universal concept," she said. "Almost all of us can sympathize with you because we've all had someone that we loved and had it not work out. I know that right now you think that you're the only one going through this but trust me, you're not."

"Cal, why do you think I'm on this cruise?" she asked.

"Maybe you're on a vacation," I said.

"Cal, this isn't a singles cruise. In case you haven't noticed there are very few single people here. This is a couples cruise for honeymoons and snuggle time."

I thought about that for a second and realized that she was right. I knew of only a few people who were here alone. Emma was one of them. The asshole and his friends were also singles and there were a few couples where one of the spouses had died before they took the cruise and were taking it alone either to avoid wasting the money or to spend the time trying to get over the loss of their partner in a new setting.

"This was supposed to be my honeymoon too," she said. "My parents had a party for my twentieth birthday. That was four years ago if you're keeping track. One of the guests at the party was Marcus Clark. From the time he stepped into my house, I never saw anyone else there. For the next four years we dated. That man became my life. Everything we did was because he wanted to do it. Every penny I made at my job was for us. I'd often thought about moving away to a bigger city to start my life, but Marcus wanted to stay there. He had all of his friends and he kept teasing me with little things like, "After we're married, we need to be in a place that we can bring our kids up the right way."

"Every time that bastard said something like that I folded and got all gushy inside. Unfortunately, I never found out what a horse's ass he was until the day before our fucking wedding. There were only three things in life that were important to Marcus, pussy, beer and his Dodge Charger. I came in somewhere around fourth. I think I only placed that high because I supplied all of the beer he drank, most of the pussy he got and made the payments on his Charger."

"At the time I thought that I was supplying all of the pussy he was getting. I came home early from work so I could pick up my dress for our wedding. I wanted to see how it looked in the church. I didn't know how the little glass beads that were sewn all over it would reflect when they took pictures of it. I didn't want to have my wedding pictures ruined by glare from my dress."

She looked at me as if that was supposed to make a difference to me. I really don't understand how women think about things like that so I just nodded so she could get back to the story.

"Anyway, I heard him before I even got to our bedroom. He was wheezing and puffing and blowing like he was the little engine that could, trying to make it up a hill. Then I heard what he was saying in between breaths. "

"He said, 'Damn Susie, you've got the best pussy in town.' And then I heard my cousin Sue, ask him, 'Then why are you marrying Sky'?"

"He told her that he'd gotten stuck marrying me because he'd met me first. She was better than I was in every way he could think of. In real world terms she isn't, but in the way that you guys think, I suppose she probably is to him. She has long hair and big tits. She also isn't very particular about who she spreads her legs for. In case you haven't noticed it yet, I'm a little small on top."

I pretended to be surprised and she laughed.

"So I left the house mad as hell. The next day, the day we were supposed to get married, I went and found his car. That car was his pride and joy. A bright orange 2009 Dodge Charger painted up like the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazard. I broke every piece of glass on that car. I shattered every window, every light and every signal indicator both inside and out. I slashed his tires and took a sledge hammer to his chrome rims. I poured a five pound bag of sugar in his gas tank and then took a screw driver to the paint job. Finally I got inside the car and like a dog marking its territory I pissed on all of his leather seats. I just pulled my skirt up and pulled my panties down and peed on every seat in the back and in the front. If I'd cut them, they could have stitched the leather back up. But after that car sat out in the hot sun, without even any windows to shield it from the heat, they'll never get the smell of piss out of that car. I left him a note telling him that since I was the one paying for his car I should have taken it. But it was in his name so Susie could continue making the payments for him. Of course, she'd have to get a job first."

"While he sat there at the church with all of our friends and family waiting for me, I left town. I really didn't know where to go. I'd paid for this cruise so I just cashed his ticket in, I took a big penalty for the last minute cancellation but it was worth it. I used the money to extend the length of my trip and here I am."

I was shocked hearing about what she'd been through.

"I have no idea of what I'll do, when this trip is over," she smiled. "But I wanted to let you know that I really do know what you're going through."

For the rest of breakfast neither of us wanted to talk about anything that was overly serious. We did find out a lot about each other and that we had a lot in common. Both of us loved a variety of types of music. We both loved old 80's hits. We spent a lot of time that morning playing a game that we made up. It was kind of like trivial pursuit but different. We took turns naming well known or obscure bands from the 80's and 90's. Whenever one of us named a band, the other person had to name one of their songs. If she came up with a band and I couldn't name one of their songs, she got a point. If I could name one of their songs, I got the point.

If there was doubt over the existence of the band or the song, we used my iPad and looked them up on the internet.

By early afternoon I was making up for the ass kicking she gave me at Monopoly. We'd had several challenges. One was when I named the band Lion. Sky got them confused with White Lion and quickly named "Wait," as one of their songs. When I told her that it wasn't the right band, she challenged me. We Googled them to prove they existed. We even saw the video for their song, "Power Love." After that we were too busy laughing to play anymore. We were also hungry.

I felt my phone chirp before we started talking about lunch. It was a text from my bank. It let me know that one of my checking accounts was out of cash. I could add more to the account by transferring money from savings. I also had another checking account that I could transfer money from. The first checking account was the one I called the household account. It was the one that Danielle had access to. I just smiled. If she was out of money, it was no longer my problem. I did wonder how she'd managed to go through five thousand dollars in only a couple of days, but it was the last money she'd ever get from me and as divorces go that was pretty cheap.

A few minutes later Emma arrived again. "Do you need something for lunch?" she asked. She seemed really surprised to see Sky still there.

"We're fine, but thanks for asking," said Sky, before I could do anything. Then she curled up her lips and smiled. "I have an idea," she said.

"Tim," she yelled. A few minutes later Tim hustled into the room. We couldn't tell whether he came so quickly because Sky had bellowed for him or because Emma was there. Both of them were looking at each other and then looking away. It was cute.

"We're hungry," said Sky, interrupting the teenager like love fest.

"What can I get you?" asked Tim.

"I was thinking that maybe you should go out to lunch with Emma and the two of you could bring us something back," said Sky.

Tim obviously liked that idea. Emma apparently didn't find the idea repugnant either. So after a brief conversation on where they should eat the two of them left. They hadn't even closed the door.

A few seconds later Tim stuck his head back in the doorway. "Cal, I asked earlier and the Captain did say it was okay for you to go to the bathroom or to take care of your daily needs. We're on a ship so there isn't any place for you to escape to. So why don't the two of you just go to lunch. Stay away from the upper decks near the bridge and I don't think you'll run into any problems. If someone does ask you something, just tell them you went to take a shower."

Then he and Emma were gone.

Sky held out her hand and we went to find something to eat. We did run into Tim and Emma and I asked her if she could stop by my cabin and bring me a few changes of clothing.

Emma agreed to do it, but she thought that I was going to have to see Danielle sooner or later. Avoiding it wouldn't help. She also looked at Sky very curiously. It was as if she was having trouble seeing where Sky fit into this whole puzzle. I could understand that very easily. As humans, our brains work even when we don't want them to, trying to fit things into place. Even when we sleep they constantly sift through the information we've fed them. They always attempt to find a proper place and classification for everything and everyone. Right now, Emma's brain was trying to determine where Sky belonged and whether she was friend or foe.

We settled in and had a great lunch at a small bistro like restaurant that overlooked the ship's rear deck. There were plenty of things for us to look at including the zip line and the climbing wall. The funny thing was that we were so immersed in watching each other that we somehow missed them.