The Loves of Julia

These last words seem to strike a particularly sensitive spot in Julia. Her hands have ceased pressing into Holly's back. Instead, they lightly trace small circles over her shoulders. Suddenly Holly becomes aware of Julia's silence and at the same moment feels a warm, moist drop fall upon her back. She looks up to see Julia crying quietly and fears she has hurt her very deeply.

Turning over to look up at her, Holly sees the pain in Julia's eyes. It is a pain that has been there for many years, yet this is the first moment that Holly has allowed herself to really pay attention.

"Oh, Julia, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that. It's just..."

"Please, don't ever be sorry for saying what you really feel," Julia speaks softly while wiping away her tears. "You're right. You've always been right. I just haven't wanted to listen--I haven't wanted to see it, that's all. I've closed my eyes to so many of the things that are wrong in my world. That's why I come out here now. To think about all those things you used to tell me when you were still around."

"But aren't you happy?" Holly asks. "I mean, you've got tenure. You're protected. Nobody can bother you now."

"That doesn't exactly erase my memories," Julia says.

Looking deeply into her eyes, Holly feels the pain that Julia shows on her face. At this moment, she sees how fragile and vulnerable Julia really is underneath her calm, self-assured exterior. Intuitively, Holly has always known this part of Julia, but neither woman has felt comfortable before in acknowledging it. Just now, though, all pretense melts away as Holly, too, recognizes her own vulnerability.

"Oh, Julia, I know it's been hard," Holly declares with a melancholic sigh. "And you gave so much of yourself to me, only to have me throw it all away. Instead I had to run off to fulfill my silly fantasies about becoming a famous dress designer. I thought it was all such a big dream come true. But it's all been a big disappointment for me."

Julia looks at Holly, feeling puzzled at this sudden admission.

"Why Holly, I thought you were having such a wonderful time in New York," Julia remarks with genuine concern, feeling relieved to shift the conversation away from her own troubled thoughts.

"I did for a while, but then the glamour wore off," replies Holly. "New York is a very cold, hard place. It's terribly competitive working in the fashion industry. Every day the buyers want new styles. And most of them aren't things I even like to make. I love to make clothes that flatter a woman and her sense of herself. I really think every woman is beautiful, and I've always enjoyed designing something that will enhance a woman's attitude about her own body. But the business end of the whole thing is just rotten. They don't respect women--they just want to use them to make bigger profits. And I haven't been seeing many of those profits for a long time..."

Sensing there is something else Holly is concealing from her, Julia decides to gently probe further in the hopes of understanding more about her friend.

"Holly," she begins. "Were you in love?"

A bit dismayed by this turn of the discussion, Holly averts Julia's gaze into her eyes and lowers her head. She is silent for a long minute as Julia looks studies her facial expression, already knowing the answer to this last question is "yes."

"How long were you together?" Julia at last asks to break the long silence.

"A little over a year. Since just before I came to visit you last time. I just couldn't tell you," Holly replies, her voice trembling.

"How recently did you break up?"

"A week ago. We both agreed it would be best," Holly responds almost inaudibly.

Wanting to take her in her arms to soothe the pain but resisting the temptation, Julia remains quiet while the meaning of Holly's last admission lingers in the air. A boat speeds by along the waterfront as a flock of gulls squawks overhead.

At this hour, the sun's heat is very intense. Perspiration covers Holly's body, forming pools of liquid in the deep valley descending toward her navel. Lying on her back, Holly's thighs are slightly parted with her knees raised, her breasts rising to sensitive peaks as the sun kisses their tips. Julia is lying close beside her, the front of her golden torso covering the towel as her smooth buttocks absorb the bulk of the sun's rays. The two women are the only people occupying this section of the beach.

"Do you feel like telling me anything about him?" Julia asks, somehow wanting more to break the tension than to hear Holly's answer.

"It wasn't a *him*, Julia," Holly responds almost inaudibly, as her own tears begin to flow.

Having been completely unprepared for Holly's last revelation, Julia feels at a total loss of what to say next. A million thoughts begin to race through her mind, none of which can translate themselves into words Julia knows how to express. Images of Sandra flood through her mind once again.

By this point, the erotic tension between the two women has become unmistakable, and Julia can restrain her feelings no longer. She watches Holly crying for only a moment, then decides to act. Reaching over with her free hand, she draws Holly's naked body into her arms. Holly's response is urgent as she raises her lips to meet Julia's and their mouths close upon one another. Their tongues furiously probe each other's depths.

Now it is Holly who moves, rolling over to lift her body above Julia's.

"Oh, Julia, I need you so badly, I can't stand it any more!" Holly confides as her tears continue their free flow down the length of her cheeks. Then her mouth is again covering Julia's. The younger woman takes charge, moving above Julia and reaching down to draw their bodies closer together.

Having never made love to a woman before, Julia allows her instincts to take over. Somehow she feels totally at ease at this moment--a feeling she finds altogether new and wonderful. Never before had making love been so tender and sensual. At once she realizes what she's been missing in her years of academic life.

Reaching to wrap her arms tightly around Holly, her fingers slide down to cup Holly's firm buttocks while the younger woman presses her pelvic region against Julia's. More than anything else in the world, Holly wants to share her pleasure with Julia. Just as Holly's nipples caress Julia's upturned breasts, the two women press together until their bodies seem to become one. In that second of uniting their souls seem totally connected. Electricity arcs between their bodies while their lips kiss hungrily. Riding the crest of their oncoming mutual orgasms, the women's groans of release fill the air around them. Love has suddenly taken on an entirely new meaning for Holly and Julia...

**********************

...Having fallen asleep on the beach, the two lovers create a beautiful sight in their secluded spot. Voices from a nearby group awaken Holly, who sits up to check the time. She looks down at the sleeping form of her professor lying next to her. "I've always loved her," she thinks to herself. Just then, Julia awakens also.

"You look so beautiful lying there under the afternoon sun," Holly speaks tenderly to Julia. "I've always wanted to see you this way."

"Oh Holly, I'm so overwhelmed," Julia replies.

"Don't be, it's only natural," Holly responds. "I think we've always felt this attraction, but our lives couldn't come together before this. I know I've always loved you."

"And I have always loved you, too," Julia says, drawing Holly back into her arms.

"I don't want to go back to New York," Holly says. "I came out here to think over my life. So much hasn't made sense before, but now it all does."

"I know," Julia replies. "I too have been searching for some kind of meaning. I've had so many feelings bottled up inside me. But you are the key. You give all of my feelings meaning and purpose. In fact, you've given me the spirit to keep going, even when the going's been rough. Only, in the past year it got really rough because I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. Nobody has ever taken your place, Holly."

Looking into her eyes again, Holly reaches to stroke Julia's face. She knows more than anything in the world that she wants to make sweet love to this woman tonight. She urges Julia to lie flat on her back again. Taking out her bottle of body oil, she pours some onto Julia's stomach. Then with sweeping motions she slides her hands through the liquid to spread it over more of Julia's body, concentrating on her arms, shoulders, and then her breasts. Julia's eyes close as she gives herself over to Holly's loving care, and Holly squeezes her nipples between thumbs and forefingers over and over again.

Julia has never felt so turned-on, so alive. Her body tingles from her head to the bottoms of her feet. Holly continues to pleasure her breasts, knowing that this sustained attention will release all of Julia's tension and make her ravenous for erotic release. Julia's fingers slip between Holly's parted thighs, seeking her clitoris, probing deeper into her smoldering center. Holly is flowing with the warm liquid of her desire.

Julia removes a finger to taste her first sample of a woman's nectar. The taste delights her, just as she had expected. Holly moans her approval as Julia returns her fingers to continue bringing her intense pleasure.

"I want to make love to you all night long," Holly whispers to Julia. "Please tell me we can be together tonight."

"Oh, my Holly, we can be together tonight, and tomorrow night, and every night afterwards. I don't ever want you to go away again. Please say you'll stay."

"I will, I promise. And I'll come back to school with you in the fall. I want to be in your classes again. You still have so much to teach me," Holly responds.

"And you have so much to teach me," Julia replies. "Starting with how to make beautiful love to you. I want so much to know just how to bring you the greatest joy in the world. You've always excited me, you know. I just didn't know how to tell you."

*****************

Evening.

On this beautiful midsummer night, Holly helps her former professor to enter an entirely new world of love and discovery. One week later, she moves into Julia's home to begin a new stage of her life. As fall approaches, Julia has at last found the love that truly makes every minute of her life more meaningful than ever before.