The Maligned Kiss

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Intimacy in Switzerland.
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I write here of romance, intimacy, sensuality and erotic suggestion. The stories are written quickly using a great deal of imagination and improvisation, this time with text instead of music. (Improvisation = let the heart speak before the mind?)

Why did I initially choose this subject matter?

A search through the bestsellers on the web classified as romantic / erotic left me disappointed and unconvinced with the extracts I was reading. Yet these books sell successfully in huge numbers (51% of all books sold in the USA are I understand classified as romantic and /or erotic) yet for me something was missing.

I began to wonder why such intricate yet ultimately transparent storylines focused to a point of expected intimacy only to find on numerous occasions these important climatic scenes were then neglected, glossed over, poorly written, often crudely with an abundance of f – words (as if that is all that is required!) and not much else!

I decided to try and write for myself these intimate scenes from imagination. Since we deal elsewhere on this site with spiritual matters, from that point of view too!

With the change in emphasis now strongly on the “what actually did happen” bit, you may find the explicit nature of my work difficult perhaps due to the writing being unusual and new, certainly I haven’t found anything of the like before, or you may consider I have used too much of my imagination leaving too little for you the reader to imagine yourself! This may be true yet I have attempted to write something different here and ultimately my goal was / is to create ‘believable’ writing with a strong emphasis on the spiritual link to sensuality within the context of love and desire.

It is important too for you the reader to understand the conditions I set upon myself in writing these stories.

I decided from the outset to omit the following, which I have found, often used as 'devices' to prop up a storyline in novels dealing with this subject matter

• violence of any description
• all swear words however mild
• all forms of crudity
• superfluous third-party characterization
• gimmicks

I hope you enjoy reading my work - mh


What interests me is how romantic writing can be made elegant, intimate and sensual, whilst retaining drama and bite.

To start a line with no planned end to that line somehow for me connects with the wish to reach a poetic sense and all the while searching to gain an emotive response.

Believability at the outset is important, then to distort, treat, magnify, alter and turn to fantasy, retains believability, challenging emotion and instinct drawing reaction to preconceptions?

Like painting abstractly or creating avant-garde music, I write for imaginative expression, over rational thought, where ideas fuse to portray pictures in words. Martin Hawks (2001)

* * * * *

My fingers gently unbuttoned her blouse to become loose about her. Behind, I freed her breasts to lightly hold in my hands. Gentle slow movement from her hips and thighs, pleasure in feeling warmth upon my skin, bringing her scent closer to invigorate me, to energise whilst to her mouth my wistful eyes went, her tongue in motion about her lips to moisten. Her soft cheeks warm upon mine, the first touch of her, gentle, then closer and more so to quicken my pulse and arouse.

My eyes closed tight from a sudden quiver as her touch released my natural hesitancy. Now invigorated with her desires I did not open my eyes to show what I saw, for she was intense about me and swiftly, I felt her movement upon my face. We shared that which is necessary to sustain the depth of mutual feeling, her touch gave sensual pleasure, I responded to her in ways unsure yet I knew myself deeper in knowing her and found ways to please her. She gave of herself that night long ago. Tomorrow we climb with adventures new.

________o0o________

The march through snow was arduous and difficult. Heavy boots sank into crisp frozen ice. Boots on weary legs with aching feet. We climbed the steep incline, the snow-covered slopes that led to the summit of Mont Blanc. A day on the mountain, the weather piercing cold and biting hard. We climbed yet further into freezing ice.

Snow and sky, a barren world of loneliness in isolation, no breath or moment, abandonment of all living things, hostile, a wilderness alone, unpleasant and cold. Hour upon hour we moved upwards. Snow upon snow came into view, formations of giant size emerged under a blue haze and shining moon, to cast shadows on sparkling ice.

I stopped to catch my breath, a turn and smile for her, just visible under my snow goggles. Arms energetically waved about for warmth, hers and mine, then a hug for her, more still in vigorous movement.

Upwards lay crystalline snow, packed hard in frozen ice. A dream world beaconed towards the summit. This was the highest peak in the Alpine range. Our climb continued a pace this clear afternoon late into February.

Time, a meaningless dimension in this place and time was spirited away as we rose higher in sub-zero temperatures. Around us the wind made difficulty in seeing, and eyes became blurred and vision impaired. The wind whipped and billowed with relentless tugs at my hooded clothing that offered little protection from the biting wind.

Yet as condensation went from my snow goggles, I wiped the wet and dirt from the glass and my eyes spied the view beyond. Magnificent with splendour. Spectre and shadows. Grand formations loomed recklessly, stacked one upon the other. Peak upon peak of colour and shadow, a myriad of forms, angular and jutting far to the distant horizon.

She looked too in amazement, the view we shared elevated our spirits to find a smile with cheer, turning the panorama in majestic wonder into a private playground for two. A look, a hug, a shared smile, a frozen kiss took my breath and returned my thoughts to the previous night in her arms.

We dined late into the evening with considerable pleasure and warmth. We fell easily into conversation. The long night and day in travel became a memory for in tiredness her beauty transgressed my imaginings. We talked until late, the warm intimate atmosphere of the chalet inn at Kandersteg, Switzerland took on special meaning, a lead up to our climb the following morning. Candles at the table inspired romance to our talk. After the meal we made our way to an immaculately prepared room, warm and cosy. We shared a joke in laughter as we dropped with purpose to the bed, faces close, eyes fixed on the other. I noticed her with new attention.

She was pretty, clear pale skin, her hair natural in curls to below the shoulder, dark in colour. She wore a blue woven knitted cardigan under which was a delicate lace frill blouse with frilly sleeves to her delicate hands. Her blouse I noticed had the top two buttons undone. Upon her waist a light cotton dress, light faded matt blue, perfect in fit to her slender form. In the subdued light of the room her features came alive to me. Dark eyes expertly made, slender eyebrows, pale natural lips , and slight freckles to her cheeks.

I reflected upon the romantic circumstance of this night together and wondered how it was possible to find such intimate relations with one so perfect. Her name was Rachel. I had known her for many years. She was a good friend and two occasions in four years, more so. I telephoned her three weeks ago to ask her climb with me. With enthusiasm she replied . . . "yes - I'd be delighted!" I had assumed intimacy with her that night, yet as we prepared for sleep, this remark came from her.

"There is nothing more for you with me for I am spent!

"We have a long day tomorrow . . . . . don't we." she firmly announced, pausing after the word tomorrow.

"What is this tease?" I replied.

I reacted with forceful interruption to her contrivance! She met my look with resolve. In haste and candour I submitted to my lustful urge that now overwhelmed upon me for she was once more, as I had known her, charged with sensual energy bringing my attentions strongly to the point of recklessness. In defiance of her finality I said this.

"If you have a kiss to spare - give it to me now! OR .. condemn me to wretchedness without your attentions!"

A moment later ...

"Shall I respond to your tease?" she questioned. "Shall I?" A pause and Umm ...

Another Umm ... What is Umm ...? I thought.

Feminine code for I haven't quite decided just yet to say N-O!

AS IF the question lay open to the impulse and fanciful whim of the night air. A breeze into the room teasing lightly upon her legs might easily turn a firm yes on her lips to NO! such was the fragility of my plea.

She became quiet and a moment later, perhaps more I cannot say too clearly, I heard ...

"But . . . . . "she draw out this word – "Umm . . . ." surely not another Umm! "BUT - perhaps I have not finished with you JUST yet! "

I didn't close my eyes in sleep for an hour after, but echoed these Umm . . s round my brain in remembering her attentions upon me with feeling.

She turned in close, her face to mine, her skirt pushed high to arouse me as she watched with untamed eyes that didn't stray from mine. The splendour of her, my appetites renewed and this preoccupied me constantly for I did not see her right finger move with stealth to my face, the faintness of touch as she traced along my jaw line from chin to forehead and around and down as I shuddered to her touch.

"Do I excite you?" she whisper into my ear.

Umm . . . . .

And so it was that the late evening continued as I'd wished ...

"Oh Rachel, my love YOU are my moon and stars ...!"

Her response was a little different.

"Which route are we taking tomorrow?" WHY, what does that matter now. I replied. "It might help me to concentrate." "On what?" "On you!" "I thought you were! . . . that's why I said . . ." "Aren't you tired? "Me? . . . . no. . . not much." "Why do you ask that?" "Just asking!"

She slipped to the floor in silence, dutifully kneeing before me. Her hands came to my hips and I felt her touch upon my belt. Movement, deliberate with her fingers as she worked my buckle loose pulling my belt apart.

"Things I do for you!" she murmured. "And it's SO late." "What AM I going to do" "Carry on." I replied.

She did. Now at my buttons, she brought these undone quickly before my eyes. At my hips now and holding tightly to my trousers she worked the fabric loose and slipped from me tenderly and slowly across my exposed legs.

From her: "what time is breakfast?" From me: "about 7.30 I imagine . . . ." "Why . . .? This is a peculiar time to . . ." "Just asking . . ." "Well don't." "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do!" "I thought that was the idea." "I'm off to bed – GOODNIGHT." "No Rachel, PLEASE carry on." "What WAS it that you were doing?" "Who said I was doing anything for you?"

She slipped her cold hands inside and around caressing my upper body to the front then pushed herself forward to bring herself to me in full embrace.

She raised her head to expose herself to my petting kisses upon her and round her too, as I touched with feeling and movement with my tongue I began to summon her arousal with sensation of movement and tease.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Never you mind." "But I DO mind." "No you don't . . . not really." "Do you . . .?"

My tongue wet and unceasing upon her, caressing with tenderness about her neckline then up to her chin, further still upon her earlobes, the warmth of feeling too as I took her soft hair into my mouth with playful abandon, amorous in my intentions grasping her playfully about my lips.

"I'm not sure about THIS"

"I AM - my dear" "DONT' you call me your dear!" "I have been busy during these past four years, she continued." "Doing quite nicely without you!" "NO you weren't!" . . .I teased "YES I was!" . . . . she said with indignation

"So where WERE you?" "I called you - I stuttered" "No you didn't" "I only agreed to come climbing with you if . . ." "No you didn't . . . . you sounded more than excited Rachel" "What if that were true?" "Is it true - that's the truth isn't it?" "Perhaps."

"Perhaps not . . ."

Anyway, WHY should I take everything off for you here and now when you didn't write or call?"

What an illogical and tenuous connection to make?

Typical of a woman's mind - I thought

Rachel, just GIVE in . . . .!

And on that note I moved to kiss gently the parting of her firm breast. A sigh from her heavy and true, in suddenness, a momentary gasp as I pushed to open her thighs as I moved closer to her.

I WILL write . . . . I promise!

In Kandersteg tonight, she came closer and finally demonstrated her love for me. Tomorrow my love for her will multiply.

"Give to me . . . do not ignore me tonight"

An outrageous idea to put upon me!

"I don't care anymore - do anything, as you please." "You want me to don't you?" "Then find a way and now!" "Do it – JUST do it." "Oh . . .Rachel."

With that we fell upon each other, intentionally fierce, rousing in war like clamour, no ambiguity to her pleading THIS time, her openness in wanton exploration of every conceivable idea, a posture constructed for one purpose only, her complete fulfilment. She mouthed to me suggestively,

"I'll find you time, we need to learn for each other." "This may take some time!" And of course it did.

Unity in aspiration to bring love to a climax and so it was!

She lay still. I held her breasts in loving hands, her cheek touched mine and intense was the arousal yet heralded by a third sense which locked with the touch and scent of her.

Moans became whimpers, yes, she pleaded to bring a wish borne on utterances released from the heart. She uttered further exactness in her demands to bring me short of breath and sudden upon her close by.

"Oh dearest you . . . "

Before I could finish, she was upon again me in defiance. Torrents of kisses upon my mouth, new experiments in kissing for untested before now in their unbridled severity. Bites, raw and frantic feverish in potency, she made war upon my mouth with plenty in reserve, for only some considerable time later did she fall back to allow me breath.

Yet, this was mouths that touched, for no other movement aside her hardened breasts that pushed forcefully upon me was to be had. Afterwards she had no breath left to speak.

My own response excited her for she told me so. Her capacity for wanting my touch reminded me of my own.

I start upon her belt, first to loosen and kneeling between her legs as she sat low down. I pulled at the sides of her skirt to take from her. She wanted this done and assisted me by rising herself up to free.

To her distain and obvious impatience, I worked her skirt downwards centimetre by centimetre stopping completely if she shows annoyance in my task.

She slumped now, her back horizontal, her legs straight to release the garment for herself.

"What could be easier for you than to undo me and TAKE off my skirt?" "So why don't you ... and my pants too."

Repeatedly came her requests yet her skirt was loose about her thighs yet stationary also.

"Do it PLEASE or else I will" ...

She jerked and twisted in her resolve to remove the infernal garment for herself, pushing irritably using her legs in a most convincing manner.

Now showing three inches of black underwear above and her waist uncovered to flesh. I resigned myself to leaving her in this condition. My teases and slowness of action bring perspiration to her for she became most desiring of my intimate attentions.

No longer caring about time or breakfast she gave of herself.

"Take me why don't you?"

She lay stretched out wriggling, with care I brought my hand gently between her thighs first touching caressing her knees, back then front, slowly I touched of the backs of her knees which brought great excitement for her whimpering was pathetic yet good to hear.

She watched with growing excitement as I put my hand to her legs and stroked, then higher inside her skirt until she felt my touch upon her ... ________o0o________

Darkness comes quickly to the Alpine mountains. Breathing harder now as the incline became steeper. Towering ice and rock, the huge machine of earth lay bare in a hostile world.

The memory of last night faded as I became too weary to remember.

Tiredness came upon me, exhaustion, and fatigue. Yet my eyes held fast to the sight. Shadows in the gloom that reached out, imperious, majestic. triumphant in inspiration. An awesome sight indeed. The journey from earlier times I'd made alone, now made with her today, the desire to reach the highest point, both wished to chance the weather and make the summit before darkness.

I had longed to take her to this special place, my idea, for a love of the mountains we shared, a world in beauty and silence, enrichment for the soul. I'd planned every detail. Her first time climbing with me gave the thrill of the challenge to evade the danger that bad weather might bring. She listened willingly, attentively with high enthusiasm.

Yet I did not foresee the possibility of a rare yet disastrous occurrence.

A sudden jolt, unexpected and rapid, I began to move swiftly and with purpose. Snow and ice shot past, left and right, then from above to topple me and bring an uncontrollable slide feet first, mercilessly fast. Down on hard ground, confusion and fear. The bump and grind took me into darkness. Thud - thwack, I toppling sideways, then upside down, flattened, beaten around and around, topsy spinning. The force of my heavy pack plummeted down with me in tow. A downward fall with legs and arms all about in wrestling to grab at nothing but ice shards and air. Futile. For God's sake stop! When will I stop?

In shock, a gasp, surprise and downwards still more I rushed headlong, steep, fast through moving ice. She fell too. For an instant she sprang an arm to grasp with mine in desperation. Alas it was not to be.

I sensed something was wrong. I felt peculiar, heavy, in pain yet no pain existed within me! This could not be so. The motion downwards continues beyond the prescribed amount.

Surely to God something should ... what was to happen?

Blinded now. I could not SEE! My eyes had become most strange. I saw no clarity. Faster still and going down more rapidly, Wet slush, fierce spray, wet upon and around, thrown up from in front of me. Thunder, noise, jarred movement; spray, crashing blocks of ice, turmoil, a topsy-turvy world gone mad. Lights in front of me, my sight had returned!

Not lights, one white light out of focus in the distance. Down and down. My senses reeling. I felt light-headed, trancelike, close to unconscious. Bang - I landed in sudden stop to a thud on cold ground.

Where was she? She was here. Over there ... yet she did not move? She had no life. She ought to be screaming, grabbing, yelling, yet none of these actions occurred for she had I think passed out. Where am I, where are we?

I no longer felt contact with snow under me. Slippery ice remained yet no sound, no wind. I imagined floating in a downward spiral, whooshing at incredible speed, yet not moving at all! I did not understand this and I became exceedingly frightened.

The snow had gone. I floated still and remembered. I recalled events in my life as they happened. Am I dying? Surely . . . I cannot be for I see the mountains yet a different view in place now, for I lay on the ice, spread out and quite faint in myself.

She was near. I was with her yet she was still in faint too? I hurt. My limbs were twisted, bruised, painful odd sensations I didn't recognize throughout. Arms, legs cold and unfamiliar, yet I scrambled over slush to bring her sleeping head to cradle in my arms - until a disturbing thought entered my head. With difficulty I examined her prostrate lifeless body.

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