The Mask

"We didn't want to impose on your parents but your mom insisted. It saved me from having to cook for everyone. We did bring some pies," said Kathy as she laughed.

"Who is everyone?" I asked Kathy.

From the doorway in the kitchen I saw a woman walk in. "That would be mom and I," said the woman. "Hi John, it's so good to see you again."

"Kerry, is it really you?" I asked with joyful tears in my eyes.

We met and I gave her the biggest hug possible. I held her and didn't want to let her go. But I knew I had to.

"Kerry, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. God, can you ever forgive me?"

She leaned over and took me in her arms again. "It's ok John, you're still my best friend outside of my little sister."

"How did you know about Thanksgiving at mom's house?" I asked.

"I didn't until I arrived with mom at Kathy's house yesterday. She mentioned that your mom invited all of us over and we talked it over and decided to come," replied Kerry.

About that time Claire, Kerry and Kathy's mom came in the room. Kerry and I separated and I said hello to Claire and gave her a hug.

"It's so nice to see you again Mrs. Underwood. It's been a long time since I've seen you and Kerry."

"My, you are one handsome guy," said Claire. "No wonder the women chased after you." She smiled and even though a bit embarrassed I did feel good about the complement."

"So, John, I called the hospital and they said a man was there causing trouble and asking for me." Kerry was smiling. "By any chance you didn't come to see me yesterday, did you?"

"You did go after all," said Kathy with a smile on her face.

"Yeah, I finally got up the courage to go see you but they said you wouldn't be back until Monday and wouldn't even give me your number."

"Thank you for at least trying John. I can't tell you how good it made me feel when I heard you had come to see me," said Kerry.

"God, I can't believe it's you. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I'm so proud of you I could kiss you."

"What's stopping you?" asked Kerry.

I took her in my arms and kissed her very gently. Tears were rolling down my face as well as hers as I hugged the first love of my life.

We all talked for awhile and then sat down to Thanksgiving dinner. Of course mom made sure that Kerry and I sat next to each other. For some reason the food tasted better than ever this year.

Kerry told us about her studying to become a plastic surgeon. She said she was so impressed with her doctors that she wanted to be able to help other people.

Mom asked her if she had a man in her life and I held my breath waiting for the answer.

Claire spoke up and said, "Kerry has dated a number of doctors and other professional people but for some reason never got serious about them."

"Mom," said Kerry. "I'm just waiting for the right man to come along. I just haven't run across him yet." She looked over at me when she said it. It made me wonder if I might still have a chance.

Kathy asked Kerry and I if we would like to take in a movie that evening with her and Jim. I happily accepted and was happy to see that Kerry thought it might be fun also.

Jim drove and Kerry and I sat in the back seat and talked. Kathy would smile at us. I think she was hoping things might just work out between us.

I held her hand during the movie. I don't even remember what we saw. All the time we were there I thought about Kerry and wondered what she might be thinking. After all I had a reputation as a playboy and have spent the last couple of years trying to get my act together.

It just felt so right being with her. I didn't want to lose her again and was trying to figure out what to do next. I felt like a kid on his first date. I didn't want to push it but I wanted Kerry to know I wanted to be more than just friends.

Kerry and I talked on the way back to my mom's. I had left my car there and they had to pick up Claire. We all got out of the car and went into the house. We talked about the movie for a little bit and Claire said it was about time to leave. Claire gave me a hug and said it was nice to see me again.

Jim shook my hand and we said we hoped to see each other again. It was then Kathy pulled me aside. She gave me a hug and said she was glad that her sister and I were back together.

I was a bit surprised when she told me a secret. Kathy did whisper in my ear

"By the way John, I did have a crush on you back in school but Kerry told me to keep my hands off you. She said someday she would be back. I guess this is that someday," said Kathy as she smiled at me.

It was then I hugged Kerry and asked her. "I want to see you again tomorrow. Would you like to go somewhere? Anywhere, I don't care, I just want to be with you."

"John, I promised mom and Kathy that the three of us would go shopping tomorrow."

"Can I go along?" I asked. I really hated shopping but I wanted to be with Kerry.

"No, I would never put you through that on Black Friday. Besides you told me earlier that you expected to have a good day at the dealership. I'll tell you what. After we get through shopping you and I can go out to dinner. I'll call you when we get done shopping."

"I'd love that." I hugged her again and gave her a light kiss. Damn, I felt good.

Chapter 2

I should tell you a little about my life after Kerry's accident. I was only a kid but seeing how quick life can change I decided to live life to the fullest. In my school years I was somewhat of a daredevil. Anything to do with sports I put my all into.

When I first went out for football my coach told me I needed to build myself up. I was fast but I needed more upper body strength. I started lifting weights and exercising regularly. I ran three to five miles a day. I wanted to be in top notch shape when playing ball.

I was somewhat tall but not real big. I tried out for quarterback, that's what all the girls seemed to like but my coach said I was more fitted for tight end. That's when I found out the girls didn't care what position you played as long as you were good.

I played on both offence and defense for our high school. I took chances and played hard. I know it's not right to brag about yourself , but I was good. I made all state and got a number of college offers.

It was then that I really got into the playboy life. I chose a college in California because of the girls there. Besides the college was top notch and I wanted to make it to the pros.

I was chosen for my offensive abilities. I was able to catch the ball in a crowd and I wasn't afraid to use by body to block when necessary. I gave it a hundred and ten percent if there is such a thing.

I became very popular with the ladies. After every game there was a party and I had my share of women. I couldn't believe how easy it was to get laid at these parties. I couldn't keep track of how many women I had bedded down and even shared. To me sex was sex, nothing more.

In my junior year the newspapers and gossip magazines were keeping an eye on me. They were saying that I would probably make it to the pros, which was my goal. Of course that brought more women out of the woodwork.

Practicing, exercise and having sex was pretty much my life. I was lucky I was smart enough to pass my classes. I didn't study anywhere near as hard as I should have.

In my senior year I kind of hooked up with a good looking cheerleader. My hormones took over most of my brain cells and I was half believing that I was almost untouchable when it came to getting in trouble. After all I was a star player on the football team and I knew I had an athletic body.

Sally and I became a regular thing. Everyone was saying we made a great couple. All I knew was if I wanted sex, Sally was always willing and waiting. In fact she told me she was on the pill so I didn't need a condom with her.

We had been going together for a few months and just before the football draft, she told me she was pregnant. She even showed me the test stick that said it was positive. I did like her as a sex partner but I really didn't love her.

I wanted to do what was right and we eloped and went to Las Vegas and got married. I moved out of the dorm and we shared a small apartment. I only had a few months of school left and then hopefully I would be picked in the draft and become a professional football player.

I called my parents and I have to say they were none too happy. I explained about the pregnancy and that I wanted to do right by Sally. I knew it hurt my parents but I told them I did what I felt was morally right.

For the next two months Sally and I lived together. I told her I would take her to meet my parents after graduation. She mentioned I could go with her to meet her parents after the draft. It would be easier to explain the baby and marriage if they knew she would be taken care of.

One evening after coming back from exercising I walked into the apartment. Sally must have been in the bedroom and I heard the phone ring. I reached over to pick it up when Sally must have picked it up at the same time. I heard Sally say hello before I spoke and then heard a man's voice on the other end.

"Are you alone Sally?" he asked.

"Paul, I told you not to call here. Being with you last night was a mistake. I'm a married woman now."

"Are you alone? Can we talk for a few minutes?" Paul asked. I just held onto the phone and listened.

"Yes, I'm alone, John isn't back yet. I just got out of the shower when I heard the phone ring."

"So, I take it you're naked right now?"

"Paul, please, I can't see you anymore. I married John."

"Do you love him?" asked Paul. "You told me yesterday that you still love me while we were doing it."

"John has a future Paul. He'll be making a lot of money and I can have all the things I want. He's good to me. I can learn to love him."

I was surprise at what I was listening to. In the next few minutes I was even more surprised.

"What about you lying to him and telling him you're pregnant? Isn't he going to be a bit surprised that you aren't even showing. How are you going to get around that?"

"I'm going to tell him I had a miscarriage, probably this weekend. Paul I do love you but it just isn't in the cards for us. With John I'll have all the luxuries life has to offer. I'm sorry it didn't work out between us. I have to go now, please don't call me again."

Sally hung up the phone and walked into the living room in her bathrobe. When she saw me holding the phone she became very nervous.

"John, how long have you been home?"

"Long enough to answer the phone and listen to your conversation with Paul."

"John it was a mistake, I don't love Paul. It's you I love." She started to come to me.

"Forget it Sally! I married you to do right by you and you're not even pregnant. You played me for a fool. I'm going tomorrow and get an annulment. You can't tell me that you didn't coerce me to marry you under false pretenses, saying you were pregnant with my child."

"I'm sorry John, can't we at least try?"

"Try what? You lie to me then you turn around and sleep with your old boyfriend and try lying to me again. Sally, you have some real problems and ought to seek some professional help. As for me, I want nothing to do with you. I would like to know who the pregnancy test did belong to. You owe me that much."

"It was Mary Lucas. She went and had an abortion after she found out. I just took her test strip after she left the ladies room. I really didn't mean to hurt you John."

"Well you did. I'm moving back to my old dorm. You can have the apartment. The rent is paid till the end of the month."

"What am I supposed to tell my friends?"

"Try telling the truth if you have it in you. You're a conniving bitch and all you want is to use people. Maybe you should call your boyfriend Paul and tell him your ass is back on the market. By the way; tell him if I ever see him I going to kick his ass. He fucked with the wrong guy."

I walked out of the apartment a very bitter person. I didn't like being used. I was able to get the annulment and moved back in with my buddies. I only had a couple of months of college remaining.

Sally just told her friends that it didn't work out between us. Rumor has it she went back with Paul. What a wimp fucker. I did see him one time on campus but he ran as soon as he saw me. If he stayed with a bitch like Sally, he would have more problems than me to worry about.

I called home and told my mom the whole story. She was happy that it was over. I remember her telling me that the right woman was out there and I would meet her someday. I really loved my mom but she had no idea the kind of life I lead.

I'll tell you a little about my second marriage and then tell you more about Kerry and me. Maybe someday I'll write a story about my sexual encounters, even those that didn't make the gossip magazines.

****

I did get drafted as a tight end on a west coast team. It was kind of my dream come true to make the pros. I was to be a back up offensive end until the starting end at my position got hurt in the first game. I was thrust into my first game. I was all jitters and ran into the huddle.

We've practiced these plays a thousand times but being in the game was a whole lot different. I looked at the defensive end and he had a mean grin on his face as to say, "Boy, I'm going to take you out."

I stared back and sidestepped him on the first play and the quarterback threw me the ball. I caught it and held on to it as I got tackled after a huge gain. I was now a pro ball player who made his first play. Two downs later I ran into the end zone as a decoy. The play got messed up and the quarterback threw me the ball. "Touchdown!" was all I could hear.

When I went to the sidelines I had to go behind the bench and throw-up. The other players laughed at me but my nerves got the better part of me.

I was now running with a whole new crowd. Models, movie starlets and other entertainers. The gossip magazines called me the playboy and eligible bachelor. There was something that I began to notice. Movie and television stars loved to be with athletes.

I dated a number of women in the entertainment field. I can say the sex was easier to get then it was in college. They say a sailor has a woman in every port. I can assure you that an athlete can have a woman in every state and city he visits.

I have to say that I had all the sex I could want. I was actually at a point where I wished I could find someone I could love. Sex is always good but I always felt like something was missing. The cuddling and aftermath of sex wasn't there. I hate to say it but after the sex, I wanted to leave.

I was becoming more and more of a known athlete. The sports magazines talked about me as well as the newspapers. My mom was always calling me and telling me how happy she was for me and kept a scrapbook of my athletic achievements. I will say she never kept articles on my sexual escapades. I was really happy about that.

I went to a Hollywood party and met Laura. She was an up and coming star. She was doing a lot of bit parts at the time. We hit it off pretty good and became somewhat of a couple. I liked the idea of being with just one woman. I really didn't trust women anymore and I figured they all wanted something. I guess guys are pretty much the same. Everyone seems to have an ulterior motive for their actions.

Our relationship was really working out well. Whenever both of us were in town we hooked up. One day she asked me if I wanted to get married. I was a bit surprised and did wonder why. We both were making decent bucks and of course if we got married there would be a pre nuptial agreement.

"You're not pregnant are you?" I asked thinking about the trick Sally pulled on me years before.

"No, it's just that we're good together and I like being with you. I feel I love you and believe you love me too, but the word 'love' is so overused. Besides, I'm not getting any younger," she smiled at me.

She was twenty five at the time so I thought that was quite funny. "Ok, let's do it. You go ahead and set it up and I'll help with the expenses."

I called my parents and told them about the wedding. They said they would fly out to California to attend. My parents were the only family members to attend. The wedding was huge. We had hundreds of people attend and most were either athletes or in the entertainment field. It was way more than I wanted but I told Laura to do her thing. Her parents ended up paying for most of it.

We did get married in the off season so we had time for a honeymoon. Of course the gossip magazines and the paparazzi were having a field day.

As I mentioned most everyone had an ulterior motive for their actions. I did find out that Laura did care for me but her agent said that marrying me would be great for her image. Every time I did something good on the playing field it would make the papers and she got more screen time.

She never said much about it but she loved the parties and being in the magazines. As for me I was at a point where I would prefer a much more private life.

Our life didn't change much after being married. One of us was usually gone - me having a game or her on location for an acting part. We got together as often as we could but it wasn't much of a family life.

Another problem I was having was trust issues. Probably because the gossip papers were always writing about Laura and her parts in shows with different leading men. I was true to her since the day we got married and she told me she was also true to me.

It's just hard being away from her and watching her supposedly making love on the TV or big screen to other men. She always told me it was acting and she would never cheat on me.

Then one day my world fell apart. I had just caught a pass and was running down field when I was hit by two defenders coming from different directions. They both hit my leg and down I went. I was in total pain. I saw my leg was bent in a direction it shouldn't have been.

I was carried off the field and taken to the hospital. I was given drugs for the pain and was out for two days. The last thing I remember hearing was that my leg and kneecap were shattered.

When I did awaken the doctor told me that I had three sets of pins holding my leg together. He also replaced my kneecap.

"John, I won't pull any punches. Your leg was shattered and we were lucky to even save it. The good news is we were able to save your leg and with a lot of therapy, you should walk fairly normally again. The bad news is your football career is at an end. I'm very sorry. You were one of the best ends I have ever seen."

Laura had come in to see me. She cried when I told her my football career was over. She seemed almost lost and didn't know what to say. The doctors told me I would be in the hospital for about a month and would be starting physical therapy as soon as the swelling went down.

It would just start with me trying to bend my legs. It would be a few months before I could even walk with crutches. I wasn't to put any weight on my leg.

Laura came by each week to see me. She was in a TV show that was being filmed out of town. After about three weeks she gave me the sad news. She thought it would be best if we each went our own ways.

It really wasn't a surprise - I could see the handwriting on the wall. There wasn't much more I could do for her acting career and she sure didn't want to be taking care of me.

I was both mad and hurt but I just let her go. Yelling and screaming at this point wouldn't solve anything. I needed a plan on what I was going to do with my life outside of football.

Something I would like to mention here. I cried night after night while I was in the hospital. The odd part was I think I was crying for Kerry. I kept picturing the image of her in the wrapped face mask and realizing that she had broken both legs. I wasn't there for her and I wondered how she might have felt.