The Mother Tracie Deserves Ch. 19

SUMMER LOVES

I feared things could never be the same after what my stepdaughter and I had done. But even so, after Tracie apologized, we both worked on getting back to normal, as much as we could.

And thank goodness, as the days and weeks went by, our life together started to feel as good as any time since we moved away from her dad, and maybe better.

Of course, Tracie finished her junior year of high school with straight 'A's in all her classes. She started off her summer break splitting much of her time between a part-time job and sports camps. The high school's basketball coach had begged her to come back for her senior year, which meant she would be a top player on both her basketball and volleyball varsity teams. Colleges were contacting her left and right to get her to enroll. I couldn't believe my little girl would be going off to college in just over a year.

Things were going good again for me at work, and Tracie had even started sitting on my lap again, just like in the happy times before. It always made me laugh, and I loved it, now that the worry of it going too far was gone.

And, things were going good with Bill. I thanked god that Tracie and I were able to put things to rest between us before my first date with him. In the weeks since, he had taken me out several times. I enjoyed his attempts to entertain and impress me. Fortunately, for the time being, he seemed content that we could just be companions - he didn't push for us to become lovers. We were both older, busy, and I, for one, was in no rush to jump into bed.

What impressed me most was how much Bill included my daughter that summer. He appreciated that she held a very special place in my heart. When we went out on his boat, or when he got some good concert tickets, or we went on a day trip or to a nice restaurant, Bill often made clear that Tracie was invited too.

Honestly, after a rough, dark winter and a dramatic, confusing spring, that summer was the happiest I could remember.

One night, Tracie and I got home from a beautiful day out on the lake with Bill. Things were so good and happy, I felt confident to bring up something with my stepdaughter that still lingered in the back of my mind.

I went to her room, where she was settling into bed with her phone.

I said, "Today was fun, huh?"

Tracie's big smile lit up my heart. "Yeah, that was great. Out on the lake, perfect weather - what can beat that?"

"And I have to admit," I said, "you looked incredible in that new bikini."

"Thanks," she said with a cute shrug. "And thanks for helping me buy it - and letting me wear it. I know it's a little smaller than you would have chosen."

"True," I said, rolling my eyes with a smile. "But you know what? You're young, you're gorgeous, and you deserve to wear what you want." In a joking secretive whisper, I said, "I kept trying to catch Bill gawking at you." I chuckled, "But I can't say I ever did."

"No, he seems like a really good guy, Mom. You deserve someone like that."

"Aw, thank you honey." I gave her a kiss on her forehead. Then I said, "Hey, do you mind if I ask you about something?"

She looked at me with a kind curiosity. "Sure."

I tried to sound like it was no big deal. "I was just wondering if you finally got rid of those, you know, videos and pictures - the 'file' stuff."

She glanced away. "Um... some of it."

"Oh. Okay. But you still have some."

She looked back to me and said firmly, "Yeah, some I'm keeping."

Suddenly I was sorry I brought it up. Her response was not what I had hoped for, and I could see there was no point in asking her to delete the rest. I said, "Okay... Can I at least ask you why you're keeping some? I mean, things have been going great, haven't they?"

She nodded, "Yeah, they have."

"So..."

"Mom, let's not ruin a great day by talking about this right now."

I sat on the edge of her bed. "Can I just ask why?"

She sighed. She looked at me for a moment, then looked at her phone. "I don't know. I got rid of the first one. You know, the one when you were so drunk. I never want to see that again. And I deleted the mean ones - they just had a bad feeling. But yeah, I'm keeping a few. Obviously, they're a little insurance policy, in case anything goes wrong again, with, you know... your, like, drinking."

I nodded, unhappy. I had no rebuttal for that.

"But also," she said, "Some of them, I just like. They're very special to me. Especially if you're never going to let us do anything like that again."

It struck me that maybe Tracie was keeping some blackmail videos like I had saved old love letters from long-gone boyfriends. I bit my lips together, against a mix of emotions.

I reached out and put my hand on my daughter's lovely wrist. It seemed wrong to say, I understand. But at least in part, I did. And to be completely honest, it warmed my heart that my she cherished those moments of intimacy with me, as crazy as it all had been. I said, "Please just be careful with them, Tracie."

"I am, Mom."

I nodded and decided that was enough said for now.

She said, "You know, I actually won't be surprised if Bill proposes to you."

I laughed in surprise. "Really?"

"Why not? You're beautiful, single. He'd be stupid not to want to."

"You're sweet."

She said, "So, would you do it? Do you want to get married again?"

I took a moment to think about it. "It's not like I'm madly in love with him or anything. I really like him. He's a good guy. But I really don't know."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's not just me," I said. "How would you feel about it?"

"Is it up to me?"

"You are my daughter, honey. Frankly, you're more important to me than any guy. If it wouldn't work for you, it wouldn't work for me."

We looked at each other for a long moment. I wondered if I saw sadness in my girl's eyes.

She slouched into her pillow and looked at her phone again. She said lightly, "You should marry him. If that's what you want."

"I should, huh?"

"Well, Mom, things are going to change around here soon anyway. I'll be starting my senior year before long. Fall of next year, I'll be at college. You deserve to have someone to be happy with."

"Oh baby," I said, stroking her hair. "You're such an angel. But who knows? He might not even want to."

"Any man would be lucky to marry you, Mom. I like the idea of handing you off to a nice guy once I'm gone."

I said, "Please don't talk about you being gone. I'm not ready for that. It seems like just a year or two ago, I was dropping you off every day at Farmfield Elementary School."

"Aw," she giggled.

I went on, "Watching you skip down the sidewalk, with your hair in little pigtails the way you always liked."

"With my little pussy-cat hair ties?"

"Of course," I chuckled. But my laugh was mixed with sadness. "Can't believe you're all grown up, ready to leave me."

Tracie set aside her phone and wrapped her arms around my waist. "We still have some time," she said.

We did still have some time, like our workout sessions together, which somehow Tracie still had energy for, even with all her summer activities. In addition to the weights and yoga, when the weather was nice, my stepdaughter took me jogging around the neighborhood. But as the summer went on and got hotter, we often retreated back to the cool basement for the treadmill.

I cherished our workouts, because in addition to her job and activities, it was after all her last high school summer break, so Tracie started hanging out more often with her friends, and less often with me.

In fact, she started doing a little dating of her own, too.

She started seeing a new boy she had met at her job, and she really seemed to like him. But then she found out he was still talking to his "not-so-ex" girlfriend.

After that, Tracie spent more and more time with Mackenzie, her volleyball teammate. I was a little curious about Mackenzie. Judging by personality or fashion sense, you'd never know she was the daughter of Margie McClintock, the president of the team booster club. Margie was a general know-it-all who apparently had a need to be in charge of things, and she always looked like an androgynous professor of something boring, with a bad haircut. Mackenzie, on the other hand, always tried to look very cute, and she was more of an observer, with a kind of slyness about her. She was nice enough, I guess, but I felt like I never really knew what she was thinking. But she made Tracie laugh, and that was a sound I loved to hear.

It got to the point where the two girls were practically joined at the hip. Mackenzie seemed especially fond of sleeping over at our house, often for several days in a row. I was glad about it. Tracie seemed to have a lot of fun with her. I figured, the more Tracie had someone to pal around with, the better. I missed having as much quality time with my daughter, but seeing her with friends felt normal and right.

Then I realized that the girls were doing more than just friend stuff. I started noticing the furtive way they sometimes looked at each other, and the intimate way they had started to whisper together. They started touching more and more. All the clues came together when I heard them unmistakably making out in Tracie's room.

Well, I thought, good for them. At least they can't get pregnant that way.

Before long, even Bill knew it. Bringing the girls along for a day on the lake, Tracie and Mackenzie didn't hide their romance. I had to quietly ask Tracie to be less touchy and kissy with Mackenzie on the boat and the beach. To his credit, Bill didn't complain about it, or even mention it, but the girls were showing too much affection in public for my comfort. Not because they were both girls, but just for basic manners. It seemed like Mackenzie was usually the one pushing the limit, as if she got some thrill out of being sexy with Tracie in front of other people.

The summer was hot, and the girls seemed to take every opportunity to be in bikinis. Hey, I had once been a teenage girl too, so I wasn't surprised. But I warned Tracie to take care of her skin, since they were spending a lot of time sun-bathing on our back patio. I made sure there was always sunscreen on hand.

The sun lotion's tropical scent was a familiar one, the same brand from every summer and beach vacation since Tracie was a little girl. And still, by habit, she would turn her back to me and lift her hair so I could lather up the hard-to-reach parts for her.

Our little skin care ritual was watched with special interest by Mackenzie, who asked if I'd do the same for her. So, many times that summer, I lotioned up not one pretty girl but two.

One Saturday was especially hot, but that didn't keep the girls from sun-bathing once again out back on their beach towels. I decided to make them a good, old-fashioned pitcher of ice-cold lemonade (sugar-free, of course - Tracie would tell me she didn't need empty sugar calories).

As I stirred it with a long wooden spoon to get the lemonade powder to dissolve, Mackenzie came in from the patio.

I subtly shook my head, amused by the girl's micro-bikini, which frankly was pushing risqué to the absurd. Like Tracie, Mackenzie was active in sports and very fit, so her body looked good in it. But I was quite sure Mackenzie's mom Margie would never have allowed it, and probably would be shocked to see her little girl strutting around so close to naked.

Mackenzie came into the kitchen and leaned back against the counter right next to me. "Hi," she said.

"I thought you girls might like some cold refreshment."

"Mmm, how nice of you. Yeah, it's hot." She stayed there, so near me I could feel the sun's heat radiating from her skin. Once again, I found myself wondering what this girl had in her mind.

She said, "Thanks for letting me spend so much time around here, Ms. Gasparo. I know I'm pretty much spending the whole summer with you guys."

"I'm glad Tracie enjoys having you so much."

She giggled, as if there was some double entendre in my comment. Mackenzie showed me a bottle of sunscreen and said, "Could you get my back again?

I said, "I got you pretty good just a little while ago."

"I know, but I'm worried it got rubbed off, and I really don't want to burn my skin."

"Okay," I said. "I'm glad you're being careful." I took the bottle from her and squeezed some lotion into my hand.

Mackenzie turned her back to me and pulled loose the bikini's string knot at her neck.

"Oh, honey," I said, "you don't need to undo it. I can get under the strings."

"It's easier this way," she said. Then she pulled loose the knot at her mid-back and looked over her shoulder at me, smiling, topless.

As I started to spread a fresh coating of lotion over the girl's smooth, warm back, she held her tiny top up in the air with both hands. She said, "Do you like my bikini?"

Without looking at it again, I said, "It's very revealing."

"But do you like how I look in it?"

"Sure," I said without thinking about it much.

"Thanks. When your boyfriend took us all out on his boat, and you had on your swimsuit, I thought you looked really good."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

She said, more quietly, "Did Tracie ever tell you the girls on the team always say you're one of the hottest moms?"

I responded with a sardonic laugh.

Mackenzie said, "I've always said you are."

I started to tense up. I stopped smoothing lotion on the girl's back and said, "Alright, I think you're all protected."

She turned and faced me straight on, proudly displaying her bare chest to me. She said, "Would you do my front?" She stroked her fingers up my arm and bit her lip. "Please?"

"Mackenzie, what are you doing?"

She giggled, "Oh look. My nipples are so hard right now. See?" She cupped one of her breasts and looked for my reaction.

I grabbed hold of Mackenzie's wrist, and in a bizarre flash of kung fu skill I didn't have, I spun her around, bent her over the kitchen counter, slammed my hips into her butt, and pinned her there, holding her arm behind her.

I bent down to the girl's ear, seeing her shocked expression as her bare boobs pressed to the counter. I hissed, "Now you listen to me. You fuck with my daughter's heart, you're fucking with me, and I will kick your goddamned ass, you got that, Mackenzie?"

She was too stunned to speak. I again thrust my hips into the girl, causing her knee to knock loudly against a lower cabinet. "I said, you got that?" My voice was so threatening, I intimidated myself.

The fear on Mackenzie's face told me my point got through. She nodded, "Y-yes. I'm sorry, Ms. Gasparo."

It may have been excessive, but I rammed into her rump one more time as I let go of her arm. I stepped back, trembling with adrenaline.

Tracie's friend caught her breath and stood back up. I threw her bikini top at her. "Make yourself decent," I said.

As Mackenzie started putting her top back on, she forced a fake laugh and said, "I was just joking."

"I'm not."

Her fake smile disappeared. Tying her bikini top behind her neck, she said, "Are you going to tell her?"

I looked her dead in her eyes. "That all depends on if you give me one single more thing to tell, understand? Whatever hurts Tracie less is what's going to happen, got it?" I touched my finger to my cheekbone, letting her know I was keeping my eye on her.

She nodded. "Okay. Thanks. Sorry." She hurried out the back door to rejoin Tracie on the patio, adjusting her bikini as she went.

I took a minute to calm myself down. Once my heart rate relaxed somewhat, I decided to just put on a smile for now. Tracie would continue enjoying her day, and if Mackenzie knew what was good for her, that would be the end of it.

I brought out the lemonade on a tray with cups of ice, acting as if nothing had happened. The girls were laying in lounge chairs on the patio, with music playing on a portable speaker between them.

Tracie's smooth, well-lotioned skin shined in the sun. She said, "Oh, Mom, that's so sweet! Thank you!" To Mackenzie, she said, "Don't I have the best mom?"

Mackenzie had regained an interesting level of calm composure. She said, "She sure loves you."

"Aww," Tracie cooed. She sat up and kissed my cheek as I set down the lemonade tray. "Yes, she does."

I stroked my pretty stepdaughter's hair and said, "Yes I do. Anything to make my baby happy." Behind Tracie's back I gave Mackenzie a threatening glare.