The Muse

I made a quick note of the name of the jeweler, my heart skipping beats left and right as I hurried into the building and up to my office.

That day was not very productive for the firm. I spent the entire morning and afternoon calling any contact I had in the industry. I really despised the idea of networking, but I got the results I needed and that was all that mattered. An acquaintance I had made a few floors above mine informed me that it was actually our firm that handled the advertising for the jeweler, also giving me the name of the modeling agency Zepar was with.

I phoned the agency, and with just a little schmoozing and sweet talk, I was able to get Zepar's working schedule for the week. He would be at a studio on the Lower East Side until six tomorrow. Perfect.

I barely slept a wink that night. I was wide awake, and dreaming of Zepar.

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I stood, leaning back against my car outside the studio, waiting for my chance to see him again. I squinted into the sunset, ignoring the glaring hipsters who were clearly scrutinizing my not-tight-enough jeans.

I glanced up as I heard the sound of the large metal studio doors squeal open. Zepar.

He strode elegantly out of the studio, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. He was just as beautiful as I remembered. A loose-fitting sleeveless shirt hung away from his body, the neck cut low on his chest. A cool autumn breeze chilled his skin as he slipped a heavy cardigan sweater over his thin ink-covered arms.

"Zepar," I said, trying to mask the longing in my voice and failing.

He stopped mid-stride, stunned. He cast his gaze down at the ground, then slowly lifted his eyes to mine. I could still see the hurt in those eyes.

He dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it underneath his black leather boot, slowly shaking his head as if it were a dream. "I never thought I would see you again," he said softly, "I hoped...but I never dared to think you'd come..."

I walked toward him, standing close, but not daring to touch him right now. He looked so fragile. "Can I talk to you?" I asked, staring into his sharp grey eyes.

"Can it be at your place?" Zepar asked in a soft voice that I wouldn't dare call shy.

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"Do you want something to drink? A glass of wine maybe?" I asked as Zepar sat back on the sofa and I wandered into the kitchen. "Wait, how old are you anyway?" I asked, pausing in the kitchen doorway.

"Nineteen," Zepar said, smiling.

I laughed, "Would you like some juice, then?"

He put on a false pout, still smiling with his eyes, "You couldn't be that much older. And wine would be wonderful, thank you."

"Twenty-three," I called out from the kitchen as I went to fetch the wine and glasses. When I returned, I reclined next to Zepar on my couch, handing him his glass and taking a long sip from mine.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" Zepar asked, his lips moving against the rim of his wine glass.

I nodded slowly then looked directly at him, "Why did you leave?"

He sighed, his eyes avoiding mine as he drained his glass in one long draught. A long pause passed before he spoke again. "I'm sorry if it hurt you," he said, his eyes looking flatly into mine, "but I thought that was what you wanted: a one-night stand."

"You have no idea how much more I want," I said placing my hand atop his.

His eyes gleamed as they welled up with tears. He looked down at his hand then back up into my eyes, swinging his leg over me so he straddled my lap. He locked his arms in a circle around my neck, smiling as he leaned in and lightly bit at my lip, pulling it with his teeth. His tongue immediately traced over the spot he had just abused as he kissed me gently on the mouth. "I'm glad you found me," he whispered against my lips, "I'm glad you remembered me."

I cupped his face in my hand, "What could possibly make me forget you?"

He looked down between us as he rolled off me, seating himself at my side once again. "It, I mean, I wasn't your first. I just wanted that night to be special. I didn't want to be just another night to you," he lowered his voice to a whisper as he looked down at his hands in his lap, "I wanted it to be as special for you as it was for me."

My heart swelled in my chest as some indescribable feeling coiled its way around my ribcage. I had taken Zepar's virginity? I felt as if I'd done him some great injustice. I felt overjoyed that this young man had chosen me and wanted me. I felt as if I was the one to strike down the fallen angel Zepar. I felt like a bastard for not knowing. I felt loved.

Zepar let out a tiny squeak of a gasp as I scooped him up in my arms, standing him up before me, as I wrapped him in my arms. "I'm so sorry," I whispered into his hair, "I shouldn't have let you go. I should have tried to make it better for you..."

"It couldn't have been better. I wouldn't change it for the world. And you're here now," he said, snuggling his face into my neck and kissing me there, "that's all that matters."

I could feel his erection against my thigh through his jeans as I guided him backward. He stepped blindly, one foot behind the other and gasped, surprised when his back reached the wall. I loomed over him, kissing his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere," I said as I leaned down, taking his mouth with mine.

His lips parted immediately, pliant and tenacious as he ran his tongue alongside mine, sucking the very breath from my lungs. I pulled back, my body desperate for oxygen. Zepar sighed as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, lipping lightly at his ear lobe and licking down into the hollow of his clavicle. I slid the sweater off his fair shoulders as he moaned softly. I noticed his hands move between us as he undid the buttons on his jeans and promptly began work on mine. I took a full step backward, not eager to leave the safe warmth of his body, but eager to get rid of this clothing that kept us apart. We bathed each other with our stares as we disrobed, his silver eyes scrutinizing every move of my hands and fingers, inelegantly pulling at buttons and snaps. I stared in awe of his grace as he removed his shirt of loose, sleeveless cotton in one fluid motion and swiveled his hips from the tight grip of his jeans. We stood, completely nude before each other, the tension building between us until I snapped.

I pushed him back against the wall and covered his body with mine. My mouth on his neck, my hand in his hair, my arm tight around his waist - I wanted to be touching all of him, to melt to him, I wanted to enfold him into me. He slowly wrapped a long leg around the back of my thigh, sliding it up and down again, his smooth serpentine flesh driving me mad. His body thrust against mine. His hips rolled against mine. His slick engorged cock slipped against mine. He assaulted my senses with his body as I wrapped my hands around his slender thighs, pulling him up from the ground, his long legs around my waist. He pressed his shoulders into the wall behind him and wound his svelte, tattooed arms around my neck.

I moved one of my hands around and began circling his entrance with a long finger. I hadn't prepared him the first time, and I didn't want to hurt him again. I was taken aback, to say the least, when I felt him slap my hand away. "I like the way it hurts," he said softly, tilting his head back on the wall, looking at me through his heavy lids. He raised his hand to his mouth, licking his palm, then spitting. He reached between us, stroking me lightly, slicking me with himself. My hips jumped forward at the contact. Zepar giggled - yes, giggled - above me as he increased the firmness of his grip, guiding me.

Still smiling, Zepar looked down at me and nodded with two sharp moves of his head. I thrust forward precipitously and was met with a piercing cry from Zepar as he dug his fingernails into my back and shoulder. "You okay?" I panted, unsure if the cry was from pain or pleasure, perhaps both. In response, he wiggled his hips around me, gasping for air as he pushed himself down, his body consuming more and more of my length. He continued his dance, never stilling, never quieting - just movement and the sound of my name as it was forced from his throat.

I began to move with him, meeting his thrashing body halfway with my own powerful thrusts. Zepar began looking increasingly savage, wild, frenzied as I fucked him harder and harder. He wrapped his fingers in my hair and, clenching his fists, began deliberately throwing his head back with every thrust, his skull colliding with the plaster as he gritted his teeth behind his softly parted lips. There was definitely going to be a dent in the drywall.

His heels dug into my ass as we moved faster and faster around each other. My hips were moving in small forceful jerks when I came inside him. I didn't see it coming, but I fucking felt it. Stream after stream of my cum coated him from the inside out, filling him completely. "Oh, fuck, Owen...." Zepar shouted, gripping my shoulders tightly, pulling me in for a kiss as he came between us. I opened my mouth to him as we kissed his tongue invading my mouth as I felt his cum coat my chin and our chests.

Our lips parted, as we gasped for air. Still buried inside Zepar, I carried him around the corner to my bedroom and fell back on my sheets, sweet Zepar snuggled close to my chest. I pulled the covers up over us as Zepar began cleaning up the mess he had made on my neck and chest. His tongue cleaned every last drop from my skin as he trailed up treating me to a kiss long and lingering, giving me a double dose of the taste of Zepar.

He rolled off of me, snuggling up to my side underneath my arm.

"Would you be mad if I said I loved you?" he said, his breath cooling my sweat-slicked flesh.

I looked down at him, into his big grey eyes and smiled, "Furious."

"I love you."

"Love you too," I whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

"I've never said that to anyone before," he leaned down, licking around my nipple then kissed it softly, "Nobody."

"Really, what did I do to deserve you?"

"You found me. You didn't forget." He paused, moving to nuzzle at my neck, "Thank you."

I stroked his head and curled up around him, knowing he would be there when I woke up. I felt Zepar's warm tears falling on my neck - tears of joy.

"Thank you," I whispered.