The New Wolf Ch. 03

"Fine by me if you want to end it in our other forms."

In an instant the man was a wolf. Her bones shifted and the pain from the broken ribs was excruciating. Once she was a wolf Clara stood on all fours. The other wolf blocked her exit. He started snarling at her, lunging forward. She moved out of the way each time, but he was forcing her backwards. Realizing she would have to go through him, Clara hurled herself forward.

She caught him off-guard, but not enough to knock him down. She felt his teeth sink into her back and she let out a yelp. He clamped down hard and shook his head back and forth grinding his teeth in the process. Clara tried to bite him back, but she couldn't move her head quick enough. He lifted his snout, picking her up off the floor in the process and flung her into the wall.

Pain exploded. She could feel the blood gushing out of her. But then she saw it, he had flung her closer to the door. Wasting no time Clara took off. She could feel him on her tail, lunging and biting at her. She ran towards the mountains, knowing she had about forty miles until she was in pack territory, taking her about an hour at full speed. The cold air felt good on her wound and she hoped it slowed the blood flow.

Clara knew at full strength he would be no match for her speed, but injured lessened her advantage. His teeth grazed her behind and Clara knew it was now or never. They reached the edge of the small city and no longer had to worry about human sightings. Clara forced herself to push as hard as possible. She envisioned her running friend. The wolf who liked to play games. They still played together almost every run and she still didn't know who he was. It killed her to think she might die not knowing his identity. Clara focused her mind on him. She forgot the psycho chasing her and pretended she was on the lands, playing with her friend. The thoughts propelled her forward. Soon she could no longer feel the breath on her tail or hear the other wolf's paws hitting the ground, but she never slowed down. Determined not to stop until she made it to her pack.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Something wasn't right. Lucas couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew there was an imbalance going on. He ordered extra patrols and continued to survey his section of the boarder. He'd wanted even more men, but without a sighting or actual proof of an outcast James wouldn't give his approval. Lucas learned a long time ago that the best proof was his gut feeling, but the Alpha didn't agree.

"Oooooowwwww, owwww, wooooo." The wolf's bay carried through the air.

Lucas wasted no time running towards the sound. Certain this was it, one of his soldiers found something. His paws hit the snow as he sped forward, gearing himself up for a fight. The baying continued and started moving towards the lodge. Lucas shifted his path knowing the howling wolf decided the best thing was to regroup there.

It didn't take long for Lucas to arrive. An all too familiar scent filled the air. The wolf who was howling arrived first, he continued to make the call drawing everyone back. Lucas turned to see James emerge from the woods, he had his mouth on the back of another wolf's neck. Lucas stood in shock, not knowing what to do when James ran up with the lifeless body of Clara hanging from his jaws.

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. James carried her up to the porch before setting her down. He shifted back to his human form and began screaming for the doctor. Lucas needed to act. He ran up on the porch and looked over Clara. She was dead. He felt his heart break, he'd lost his chance to ever be with the woman who was meant for him. He would never make up for all the pain he'd caused her.

Then he saw her move, it was so small it could've gone unnoticed, but Lucas saw it. She was alive. Her tan fur was crimson red, Lucas couldn't figure out where the wound originated, he started sniffing her, hoping to find the source.

"Get out of the way," the doctor said. "Let me see her."

Lucas looked up and growled. He would not leave Clara's side. The doctor rolled his eyes. Lucas felt his anger flare even more at the disrespect.

"If you want to start acting like you care about her maybe letting the doctor get to her is a good idea," he said.

Lucas growled again. James appeared in the doorway.

"Back down." His voice was stern and left no room for interpretation.

With no other option Lucas walked to the side. The Doctor scooped up Clara and carried her into the house. Lucas felt his heart breaking as their distance increased. As much as he hated what the doctor said he knew the man was right. For the millionth time Lucas felt the effects of letting his mate down.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An unbearable pain brought Clara back to consciousness. She pressed her hand to her neck and let out a groan.

"Don't move to fast," James said. "Try and remain calm."

She recognized his tone, it was the same velvet comfort he'd offered her when she first turned. Clara let her fingers run over the bandage. She opened her eyes and saw she was in the clinic at the lodge.

"What happened?" Clara asked.

"I was hoping you could tell me that," James said. "We were doing patrols and someone found you collapsed on our land. You've been attacked by another wolf."

"I didn't realize he was until it was too late," Clara said. "Why does it hurt so bad?"

"Your lifestyle is effecting your abilities. You should have been able to smell him miles away. All injuries should heal in twenty-four hours if they're not fatal. I should never have let you live the way you were."

"How long have I been out?" Clara asked.

"A few days. We kept you sedated to help with the pain."

"My life is pain," Clara said. "If I'm not getting attacked I'm having mini heart attacks. You think I'd be used to it by now."

"Those heart pains are still happening?"

"Not as bad as before, but I can still feel them occasionally. Did you call my work? They're probably worried sick."

"Don't think about that right now," James said. "We assumed you met an outcast. What happened?"

"I saw him on the street, I thought he was a crazy person. He must have followed me home. He attacked me and I ran. I ran so fast and hard. I could feel him chasing me the whole way."

"We haven't been able to find him," James said. "His scent was all over your house. We're working on it."

"Don't blame yourself," Clara said.

"It was dumb to let you live in Laramie like that," James said. "I forgot how dangerous it can be out there without the pack to protect you. I thought you were close enough and it was too big of a city for an outcast to attack you like this."

"What are you saying?" Clara knew the answer before she asked the question.

"I've had all your things moved up here. You're not going back."

Clara closed her eyes. She felt the tears start to well and wasn't sure if they were for sorrow or relief. James sighed.

"I've done a terrible job being an Alpha to you. From now on that changes. The doctor wants to keep you in the clinic one more night, then we can set you up in your room. He thinks you should be mobile by the end of the week. From there we can start your proper training and get you integrated fully into the pack."

"And if I fight you on it?"

"I do what I have to in order to protect my pack members Clara. Even if that means protecting you from yourself."

Clara didn't open her eyes. She heard James leave the room and let out her breath. She winced from the pain in her back and knew he was right. The outcast was scarier than anything else that had happened to her this far. She tried to will herself to sleep, rather than worry about things that were out of her control.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Will you stop pacing?" James said.

"I want you to take responsibility. She could have died! She had no business living alone like that. I thought you had people in town watching her? I thought you made it safe for her?"

Lucas didn't have many opportunities to yell at his Alpha, but he wasn't letting the man off with this one.

"Obviously I made a mistake and I'm owning up to it. She is living here full-time now. This won't happen again."

"I told you something was wrong. You should have called her back here the second I gave you a heads up."

"My Beta's strange gut feelings are not solid decision making rationale. Besides, it's not like you had her best interests at heart either."

Lucas walked to the Alpha's desk and slammed his fists down.

"You made me reject her. I didn't want to!"

James sat up and locked eyes with Lucas.

"I didn't make you do anything. You're the one who continued to sleep with his girlfriend even though it was killing his mate. You didn't even stop. Instead you moved your girlfriend back in and let the pack know you didn't give a crap about your mate. You've continued your relationship with Roxy at the cost of Clara's well-being. She told me she still has the heart pains. So even in all your selfish choices you still haven't fully let her go."

Guilt and shame flooded Lucas. He looked away and started pacing again.

"Where do we go from here?" Lucas asked.

"No more secrets," James said. "As soon as she's better I'm explaining what mates are."

"Are you going to tell her I'm her mate?"

James shook his head.

"I'll let her figure that one out on her own."

"What about her chest pains? How are you going to explain those?"

"Do you want to be with her?" James asked.

"More than anything."

Those few minutes Lucas thought she was dead were the worst in his life.

"Then I won't mention those either. Move Roxy back out and stop screwing around. Don't go to Clara, let her come to you. Do you think you can handle that?"

Lucas nodded. He was stronger now. He would wait for his mate.

"I'll let you handle the chest pain explanation," James said.

The time for indecision was over. He needed Clara and she needed him. The two of them would have a lot to work on, but Lucas was positive they could get through anything and his indiscretions would only make their relationship stronger.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Clara cranked her neck to the side. She ran her fingers over the giant teeth marks. The Doctor said they would fade by the end of the month and she wouldn't have a scar, but by the way they looked that was hard to believe. A knock sounded on the door before it flung open. Clara decided to stop locking it, knowing she was safer here than Laramie, but she still wasn't used to the walk on in policy of the Lodge. She expected to see Suzy but instead the long absent tall brunette stood in her doorway.

"I heard what happened," Roxy said. "I wanted to see how you were feeling."

"I'm fine." Clara hoped with short answers the girl would leave.

"Looks like you and I are neighbors again. I broke it off with Lucas a few nights ago. Moved back into my old room right before you got out of the clinic."

Clara didn't respond. Before the outcast hearing Lucas' name made Clara anxious, but the last few months his presence was causing her less and less tension. Now hearing his name did nothing to bother her. Still, she didn't want to hear about his relationship.

"It was crazy to take him back after what he did to you in the first place. He was so apologetic though and I always think people deserve a second chance, but he's too violent for me. I never felt safe with him, you know? He really needs some anger management. I felt like anything could set him off and I don't want an abusive relationship. He will probably be alone forever, I mean, who would even let themselves be alone with the guy?"

"Apparently you did." As soon as the words left her mouth Clara regretted them. She didn't want to debate this with Roxy, in fact she was done talking about it with anyone.

"Well I'm an idiot. No self-respecting woman should go near the man though. You're still planning on staying away from him right? This outcast attack had to bring up all those old memories of what Lucas tried to do to you."

"I don't think about it much and I really don't want to talk about it."

Clara continued to look at her neck in the mirror, hoping Roxy would leave if she didn't engage her.

"So you're with us full time now? That's great. The Alpha said he's giving you a strict training regimen for the first couple months. He let us know you won't be in the job rotation just yet."

Clara nodded. She had to report to the gym first thing tomorrow morning and brush up on her self-defense. It was decided being able to run really fast was no longer good enough.

"Do you want to hit the kitchen with me? Get some dinner?"

"I have to meet with James."

"Oh," Roxy said. "Well I'll let you get ready then."

The tall brunette didn't leave. Instead she positioned herself behind Clara in the mirror. Her smile dropped to a straight line and she locked eyes with the reflection.

"I meant every word of what I said. You should stay as far away from Lucas as possible. He will hurt you worse if you let him."

Clara was dumbfounded. The woman wasn't doing a good job hiding her jealousy. It seemed more like she was making a threat than giving a warning. Roxy had nothing to worry about and Clara couldn't figure out why she thought she did. The smile returned to Roxy's face and she gave a little wave before stepping out of the mirror and into the hallway, shutting the door behind her.

Whatever was causing Roxy's strange behavior didn't matter to Clara. She had enough to focus on. It was nice having all her stuff here, but she wished she could have gotten it herself and said goodbye to her colleagues. Instead a written resignation was turned in with no excuse other than the job was no longer what Clara wanted. She didn't even leave a forwarding e-mail, address, or phone number. She didn't think James would let her go into Laramie to visit anytime soon either, or else that would draw suspicion. Clara was back to where she started, alone.

She left her sad reflection and went into the hall, making the climb to James' office. She knocked once and then swung open the door. Happy to see James was alone behind his desk. He stood up when she walked in and gave a warm smile. Clara couldn't tell if he felt guilty or not, but had a feeling he was shouldering a lot of the blame for the outcast attack. She didn't think he deserved that and gave him a small smile back before they both sat down.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Clara replied. "Any luck finding the lone wolf?"

"Not yet," James said. "We're trying to figure out what pack he's from, but so far the description hasn't fit any released wolves."

"What does that mean?"

"Well Alpha's communicate with each other and exchange information. We let each other know when a member has been let go and why. Other Alphas can make the call to invite them to their pack or leave them as an outcast. The man you described doesn't fit any descriptions."

"So he was born an outcast?"

"It's happened before," James said. "But based on what he said it's more likely he is from a very distant pack I'm not in communication with. Not all Alpha's are friendly with me. Some prefer not to participate in any inter-pack discussions and I only see them once a year at the council meeting."

"This is a whole political system. There's a lot I don't know," Clara said.

"It's a learning curve. One I would like you to get started on. Remember what the outcast said to you about mates and marking?"

"He threatened to mark me, then said he would never do that to someone else's mate," Clara said. "I assume it was nonsense. He seemed pretty crazy."

"Well one part about being a wolf that I sort of glossed over is soulmates. We all have one."

Clara gave a laugh and raised an eyebrow.

"Sure."

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's the truth," James said. "Somewhere out there is a wolf who was created for you and you for them. There is no other person in the universe who can love you like a mate does. You made an observation that half the pack was in committed relationships and the other half was promiscuous? The promiscuous ones haven't found their mates yet."

"Okay, let me get this straight, I have a soulmate, but until I meet him I should screw around with whoever I want in public? Because I have no desire to join the orgy and I'm pretty sure nobody wants to invite me either."

James let out a laugh and shook his head. Clara thought about commenting on her complete lack of libido for the last several months, but decided to keep somethings private.

"Your free will doesn't disappear though. Even though your mate is made for you, if you decide you don't want them you have the right to reject them or they can reject you. The only problem with rejection is the party has to truly mean it, or they will never let the other person go."

"So I could get rejected, but my mate will still hold on to me? That doesn't sound like free will."

"You both have to reject each other, or mark another wolf to cement it."

"That's the second time you've mentioned marking."

"It's a special bite, only a wolf can give, don't worry those teeth on your neck are not a mark. If your mate marks someone else it destroys the bond, but you will always recognize your mate, even if the bond is gone."

"This doesn't make any sense," Clara said.

"I'm doing a bad job explaining it. Normally wolves grow up with this knowledge, it's inherent in us."

"Where is your mate?"

"I haven't met her yet," James said. "I hope I meet her soon, but the moon goddess will send her to me when I'm ready."

"So it's only male-female?"

"No, but if I were looking for a male mate I would know it. Much like humans that aspect is not a choice."

"Hypothetically speaking, what if I have a mate but I never meet them? I always wanted a family. Do I not have kids?"

"That's a decision you have to make on your own. If you don't wait for your mate and exchange marks with someone else, then you can have children with them. Some couples choose to do that, but it is very risky, because if either persons mate does show up it will make them miserable. Most people choose to wait."

"I'm a turned wolf, not a natural born," Clara said. "Does that mean..."

"That has no effect," James said. "We are a fated people. Someone is your mate and was waiting to discover you until after you became one of us."

Clara stared at James.

"Do you have any other questions?"

She shook her head no.

"You always seem to take on information easier than I expected."

"I don't buy it." Clara shrugged. "No offense, I'm sure you're telling the truth, but no guy in the pack will even look at me. You yourself have some reservations about turned wolves. I don't think I have a mate and if I did he wouldn't want me. If anything I should prepare myself for the pain that I'm sure comes with rejection."

"Rejection itself doesn't have any physical pain," James said. "It can actually be a comfort in some cases."

"But there is pain involved in mates?"

"There can be," James said. "But I wouldn't worry about that. I think you've experienced enough pain already."

"Let's say I do have a mate; how would I know?"

"Generally their smell, touch, being around them. It's euphoric. I don't have a mate, so I can only say what I've heard. Keep an open mind. If there's anyone you feel funny/off around maybe reach out and touch them. The act of skin-to-skin is supposed to be electrifying."

Everything James said sounded romantic, but Clara knew her life was already far from a fairytale. The last thing she wanted was to get her hopes up. There was one thing that concerned her.

"This doesn't change anything right? I'm not expected to start hooking up with other wolves like all the unmated ones am I?"