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Click hereWhen we finally arrived at the summit of Mauna Kea, it was just the end of a very long day. Walking along together now as a couple over the ocean, but underneath the night sky, two bright stars shone in the night sky. This is a time when both of us realized that we were destined to be together forever by our everlasting love.
The time was 12:00 AM on April 30, 2011 when we both said this quote together at midnight on top of Mauna Kea,
"You hold me captive in my thoughts of you. You hold me captive in my heart because of my love for you. You hold me captive because I have no desire to be anywhere else but with you. I love you. "
Dreams do come true.
The writing itself is good on a technical level, detailed and descriptive, but the story is rather abrupt in nature. It feels like the writing starts half way through the story and transitions occur with little segue.
the hawaii and surfing stuff was cool, but i would have liked to learn more about alex's and oceania's personalities and what they think about beyond being crazy in love and destined for each other. also, check out the volunteer editors on lit - your spelling is good, but they could help with grammar and flow.