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"Yes, absolutely."
"Oh fuck it, fetch me another beer and get my dinner on the table. I can't do without you as I can't cook or look after myself properly. I have no wish to replace you with another woman who'll wish to be fucked. You stay with me and I'll forget you are behaving disgustingly with that jerk who looks older than you but in surprisingly good shape. Come on get my dinner."
"Yes darling and thanks for being so understanding. Um if you cut back on the booze you might feel like fucking me again."
"There's little chance of that happening sweetheart; I like me beer too much and I've always thought that sex is hugely over-rated."
* * *
Connor knew he had his back to the wall and it would require agility of brain power to come of this this without increasing the likelihood of wrecking his marriage.
"Katherine please..."
"Such your mouth you scurrilous, disloyal heap of camel dung."
Hey that was unfair, bordering on unacceptable verbal abuse but he decided it was in his best interest to let that ride.
"Answer me, you treacherous scumbag, what have I done to deserve this?"
Connor thought he could rattle off ten good reasons but probably only one would reach through to her brain considering in the hostile mood she was in. It would be useless attempting to argue that people were warned not to believe everything they see on TV,
"Katherine we both know you continue to be depressed in the wake of the kids leaving home."
He could see she was probably considering grinding his balls to add to the cat's dinner.
"Well I knew consulting you about my best option would go down with you like a lead balloon and so I found this lonely younger woman to be my fuck-bunny to further reduce my sexual demands on you."
"What you became involved in adultery thinking of me?"
Connor knew he had to say yes although he'd only being thinking of himself.
"Yes you are totally in my thoughts. I knew you were caught in um a vacuum of despondency with the kids leaving home and you accepting the offer of early retirement from your job. I lay awake at nights thinking about how to ease your mental burden."
"Really I thought you were waiting for me to fall asleep so that you could jack-off privately."
"What me jack-off?"
He was relieved that Katherine let that one go.
"Look here's the deal," he said, his mind in a spin, "Although regular release by masturbation is practically written as the 11th Commandment, we both know it's only a solution for peasants, the socially displaced and those with too much time on their hands. Both you are I know we have better things to do."
"Do we?" she said, looking somewhat puzzled and at that Connor deduced his wife was a seasoned masturbator.
"My suggestion is you approve of me releasing my excessive passion on my fuck-bunny and thus relieve you of me hammering your pussy at the present fortnightly intervals when I you wish I'd cut the damn thing off."
"How did you know I often thought that?"
"Males are known for their superior anticipation."
"Hmmm that's a load of crap. Who is she?"
"Sorry, she's sworn me to secrecy.
"I need generous compensation,"
Connor's brain whirled and produced what he needed.
"Katherine in further compensation for allowing me to lodge my deposits elsewhere and without interference from you over the next five years from today, I will upgrade your car for you by paying up to $10,000 plus the trade-in value and all on-road costs."
"Hmmm what say I wish you to shaft me?"
"You'd simply sit on my dick and away we would go. We both know I have practically limitless capacity.
She contemplated the offer and said, "Very well on one condition."
"And that condition is?"
"That you never talk to me about her or flaunt her at me."
"Agreed."
Connor called Julia.
"It's all settled here, what about you?"
"Oh hi. My husband and I had a full and frank discussion and he's decided he prefers beer over having to service me sexually and has told me to go ahead and enjoy."
"So it's all settled?"
"Yes."
"Can you meet me at the apartment in one hour?"
"Whatever for?"
"Christ Julia, don't attempt to give me blue balls; have I a load for you."
"My lips are already pursed for a blow job. I'll wrap them around your dick in fifty-five minutes. Bye."
Connor wiped his brow smirking.
-//-
