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Click hereHey boys and girls, just carrying on the bandâs stories, there are other celebs out there apart from SMG but that isnât to say sheâs out of our narratorâs life just yetâŠ
You all know the score on parodies etcâŠ
The band had noticed a little bit of a change in me, they figured I was a bit down about something but were never sure about what exactly, but Suzie our drummer knew all to well I was hung over on Sunnydaleâs slayer, Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Since she left that morning to return to the states I have heard nothing from her, I watched the show religiously but get little satisfaction. When I was that close to her why settle for second best?
But I knew the chances of anything happening between us two was remote, she was due to marry and live happily ever after but what about me? Well I hadnât figured out just yet. Our top priority was clear, we wanted our first UK number one, we cracked the states and we loved it but our original goal was to rid the charts of crap from all the manufactured shit out there, that was the reason I started. What kept us off the top spot last time? Fucking Ronan Keating. Bastard.
So we arranged for a tour of the UKâs biggest cities to promote our new single, the one that featured Sarah in the video. That was over five weeks ago. The record company were pissed off we hadnât promoted in the more lucrative U.S market but I told them to fuck off. The press had a field day with that one.
We did live gigs in Birmingham, Southampton, Cardiff, Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle, Nottingham, Bristol (home town for me and Jon), London (three times) and Bournemouth (Richâs home town). Three weeks of intense playing and for our efforts we claimed our first UK number one now we needed a break.
Now Iâm sure some of you have heard of a little known singer by the name of Christina Aguilera, yes that Aguilera, she famous for two things, being a bitch and being a little slut. Sorry any fans of hers but my dealings with her have always left a bad impression with the group and me. I first met her at a Paris party when I started The Others, I was still awe struck by the array of stars Iâve met in my short showbiz life, even if we were strongly against them you canât help but be amazed that someone like Sting is standing shoulder to shoulder to you like it was an everyday thing or in this case bumping into Christina (literally) and getting her to call me a âClumsy prickâ. Celebrity or not I wasnât too happy but then everything was a little intimidating for me so I walked away.
A week into our break we were all called into a very plush London hotel, the record company had a plan of some kind and had arranged a meet and greet with someone, we didnât know who at the time but there we were in the lobby that was probably bigger than a fucking church and made to wait half an hour. A mother and her seventeen-year-old son actually recognised us but apart from that the high-class clientele darting to and fro made out us as the scruffy looking musicians with no dress sense. All of us sported jeans and old t-shirts, Suzie had a bag over her shoulder and some shopping bags, and one of her purchases was a digital camera as well as some shoes. Some number one rock stars we looked! But hey when your comfortable why change?
After half an hour of waiting some flash suited bigwig from our record company appeared and asked us to follow him. He was lucky the boys and me had spent the time trying to persuade Suzie to skip the meeting and go for a drink instead and we almost did.
We were escorted to the penthouse suite no less and found it empty of life save for another one of our record suits, some flashy guy who Iâve never seen before so he wasnât one of ours. We were greeted and seated around some very comfortable couches and seats separated by a large glass coffee table when out the blue Christina Aguilera walked in from the bedroom, she wore a real tight pair of beige trousers and a animal patterned loose top, it was almost see through, enough to see her black bra underneath. If nothing else about Ms. Aguilera she had a figure most women would die for and most men would kill for and she knew that.
Old pumpkin head, as we called her, smiled and greeted us personally shaking our hands and saying âHi, call me Christina,â We all smiled back trying not to make it look like we didnât want too, âI donât know each of your names but Iâm sure Iâll learn it soon enough, if were going to work with each other it will help eh?â
All five of us shot a glance at our two grinning suits overseeing this meeting, they quickly got the hint as one of them stepped forward to answer our shocked expression, âNothing is sorted guys but thatâs what this meeting is for right?â he glanced at the other men, they nodded, âRight were popping out for a bite, Christina has agreed to look after you for a while.â Our suits moved to leave while the flashy one said goodbye to Christina quietly, then they all left, we were still in shock when Christina spoke.
âDrink?â
âWhisky.â I said quickly.
âItâs only just gone one oâclock.â Christina said surprised.
âMake it a whisky and coke then.â I replied seriously.
âMake it three more,â said Rich for the lads.
Suzie spoke as she stood, âIâll have a vodka and orange juice, Iâll help you.â
âIs that nice? Iâve always been tempted to try that,â Christina said to Suzie as the pair moved to a small drinks cabinet in the far corner.
The guys and me gathered our heads among swiftly spoken whispers, âWhat the hell?â Jon said.
âI know, I know,â I said, âThere is no way this is gonna happen.â The guys agreed this was a nightmare idea. Anyone remember the stick Limp Bizkitâs Fred Durst got for his duet with Christina? To this day itâs always unsure how the hell she roped Fred into ruining his image⊠we were going to find out.
The afternoon went by slowly, Christina had it in her mind she could talk her way into our plans, all the while Suzie got her into the vodka and orangeâs big time, Christina didnât make life easier for her as she kept putting us down.
She said the following; we would never reach true top billing unless we worked with her. She gloated about her star appeal and how she could help us improve our looks i.e. piercing, dreadlocks and the love of Nu-metal, what the fuck was this girl going on about. She even said a number one in the UK was a worthless matter. We werenât happy but kept silent and kept on drinking. Her flashy mate came back with our Record guys but she told them everything was cool and that we were going to party a bit, we shrugged and agreed. They left us alone with her, slowly the heat went up and the drinking and babbling went up a level. Vodka and orange went to just vodka; whiskey and coke became double whiskey neat. We ate from room service by the time darkness fell, Christina had several phone calls but she never really left our sides as we talked about all sorts of useless shit, soon enough sex came up. The heat doubled.
Old pumpkin head put music on at one point and then wowed us with a tale of sex with two men and even secret fantasies about women, shit this was certainly a erection stirrer but it got a whole lot better, a whole lot faster. She had an idea for a game, she removed the coffee table, clumsily spilling her drink, before she ordered us to be still. On one couch Rich and Jon sat, drinks in hand, while Dave, Suzie and me faced them on the other one. Christina fetched a bottle of champagne and put it on the relocated table before asking for the hand of our bemused Suzie. The pair stood in front of us, Suzie glancing at us as if looking for answers, we had none, Christina was almost trying to slow dance with Suzie. Rich signalled to me that maybe Christina had gone a bit mad and then she tried to kiss Suzie.
Suzie freaked, âWhat the hell?â she backed away suddenly as Christina laughed at her reaction, âWhoa there girl, no lips on me.â Suzie pointed at her as if telling her off. Christina just smiled, we werenât sure how to react but to this day I really donât know why I wasnât more turned on, a fucking near call lesbian show, for us! But it wasnât over, Christina giggled as she reached for the champagne bottle, popped it and returned to the âstage areaâ, she took a mouthful letting some slide down her chin and neck and on to her top, she handed the bottle to Jon and pulled her top clean off revealing her black bra in full, her hair bounced before she shook it roughly. She hovered above Jon, âNo touching.â Was all she said and straddled him as he sat, both his hands were taken, one with his drink and the other with the bottle.
Suzie saw this as her cue to leave, âI think Iâll head home, Iâll take the tube.â She grabbed her stuff and made to leave, all but Jon and Christina said weâd see her later.
Christina began to grind her body against Jon who was a little taken aback but he was soon in the mood as she grinded her hips against his body and groin. Christina spent a few minutes teasing him as she rubbed her bra confided breasts in his face, Jon kissed and tongued what flesh he could get at but before he could get into anything she jumped off him taking the bottle with her, she moved in front of a grinning Rich who parted his legs in hope. Dave looked at me and said âWhat the fuck?â I shrugged as I saw Jon trying to recover.
Christina smiled down at Rich, âDrink?â was all she said before she took a long mouthful of the champagne but didnât seem to swallow, she leaned into Rich, face to face as she let the bubbly slip out of her mouth and into his, he lathered up the juices dribbling down her chin and finally met her mouth and locked in what I could say was the steamiest kiss Iâve seen in a long time. They werenât shy that was for sure.
For Rich it all seemed over too soon as Christina pulled away from a gasping Rich, she turned to face an eager Dave, I swear he licked his lips. She handed him the bottle then collared him by his t-shirt and pulled him off the couch and to the floor, she remained standing and undid her trousers in front of him! She slid it down and kicked it away and there she was standing in just her bra and panties, both black and both utterly sexy.
She apologised suddenly, âI like I lot more kinkier stuff but had I known you were comingâŠâ she trailed off as she began to pour the remains of the bottle over her body then leaned down and straddled Dave who wasted no time in licking the body in front of him. Christina seemed to giggle a lot, as Dave made sure he didnât miss a spot on her firm body. Dave had both his hands free as he massaged her ass but then moved up to release her bra, the champagne made it stick to her body so it never gave way, this was Christinaâs cue to leave Dave and move towards me still on her kneeâs.
She parted my legs were I sat and moved as close to me as she could, I glanced at the guys who were all still in disbelief, was this actually happening? Christina smirked slightly and said, âWell what do you want?â I couldnât answer what my dick really wanted to do but she read my mind anyway, Christinaâs hands moved to my jeans and groped my balls, she smiled at me then still making eye contact she undid my jeans and dug into my boxers to pull out my dick. Exposed to Christina she quickly covered it again with her mouth. It was cool yet amazingly felt good, real good as she teased her tongue around my cock-head before engulfing her tongue further down the base to my balls. I had to let out a moan of approval and half close my eyes but only for a spilt second, the boys all shifted in their seats or gasped in surprised. This isnât the first time weâve had girls in front of each other except no one was as bloody famous as old pumpkin head but it wasnât going to disrupt our ranging erections. The lads could tell I was enjoying this from the smirk on my face as Christina began to tongue the tip of my dick again. Then I saw Jon slide from the couch to the floor like an alligator whoâs spotted his prey, over Christina I saw him undoing his trousers, Dave almost laughed out loud like an excited hyena and Rich was the eagle waiting for his moment to strike.
Jon eased aside her panties and eased himself in to Christina, she moaned with some surprise but didnât stop or protest with her incredible blow job, she seemed to be spurred on by this new turn of event, Jon pulled back and push back as slowly as he could, he swore under his breath at what must have been a damn good feeling. It didnât take long for him to increase his pace and for me to feel the change in Christina, she bobbed up and down on my dick, bringing that all to familiar feeling of oncoming pleasure, for both of us. Christina was already humming loudly on my soon to erupt dick as she was rammed from both ends, I began to thrust forwards into her mouth with one hand suddenly gripping her blonde locks as I reached boiling point, I didnât warn her as I came deep inside her mouth but she didnât stop sucking, she wanted every drop and thatâs what she got, I gave her every drop I could as she attempted to shallow and that she did until she eased off letting some of the cum dribble from her lips and down her chin, she smiled at me as she pushed back at Jon. The sticky bra had fallen as she let Jon pound into her, her breast jumped with every single thrust, Jon gave all he got, Christina was still in-between my legs, hands gripping my jeans as Jon gave all he was worth, Christina found her voice, âCome on baby,â she said to Jon, teasing him to his edge, âFuck⊠yes.â She never took her eyes of me, she loved this attention, âCome on⊠ohh,â she gasped, âIâve had roadies do betterâŠâ
Jon either didnât care or didnât hear her cause he had his own agenda and he stuck to it, the sweat on his brow streaked his intense face, at the same time he fucked her faster, she began to moan and spouted some filthy stuff, âThatâs it fuck my cunt⊠fuck it⊠I needed a good fucking today⊠come fuck me you son of a⊠ohhh⊠shit yeah.â She gripped my jeans even harder, Jon was moaning now.
âCome on you fucking whore⊠thatâs what you are, oh Iâm going toâŠâ
âTo what⊠come on say itâŠâ she jumped in, breathing heavy all of a sudden, âThis is the finest fucking cunt youâll ever haveâŠâ
Jon pounded her with everything he had, âTaste thisâŠâ was all he said.
Christina almost screamed as Jon slammed harder and harder into her pussy, âOHHHMYGODDD!â she was pushing back on him as hard as she could, âOh oh oh oh ohâŠâ was all she repeated and then the pair hit the spot, âOh yes⊠fuck⊠cum in my fucking cunt⊠oh fuck yes⊠yes,â then she screamed. âYESSSSSSS!â
The pair seemed in their own world as they came, Jon looked wrecked but still kept thrusting away, âOh you fucking bitch.â He said emptying everything he had inside of her. Christinaâs head fell into my lap panting as Jon eased himself out; Christina giggled to herself for some reason as he fell back on the floor resting against the couch, still with the view of her ass and pussy.
Damn what a show.
But this wasnât over, Christina began to stir, she raised her head and looked at Dave for a moment then found her energy to move towards him, still on her hands and knees. I caught sight of her cum filled pussy shining as much as her champagne soaked body as I did my jeans up before she stopped at Dave, she tugged at his jeans and slowly opened them, and Daveâs dick was straining to get out we all knew that, Dave was the best hung off all of us, we never asked but weâve seen. When she gasped at the sight of it we knew she was shocked too, Dave was smiling like a Cheshire cat, as Christina wasted no time to lowering her self to the task, ensnaring her lips around his huge dick.
Rich all this time had been stroking his dick through his jeans sizing up his chance but he wasnât going to get sloppy seconds, Jon had already done her in her pussy, Rich wanted something else, he wasnât going to be left out after all. So I watched him lather up his fingers with his drink without realisation of what he intended to do. Rich moved towards Christina from behind, I think she expected him to fuck her like Jon but when he just ran his fingers over her ass and into her ass crack she knew different, she stopped sucking Dave to glance over her shoulder, was he going too far? âDonât tease meâŠâ was all she said. Rich undid his jeans and let his dick fall into his other hand, he stroked it looking at her ass, Christina smiled briefly and then went back to work on Dave, she was jacking him off now and licking the tip of his dick. Rich had moistened her hole as best her could and now was his moment of truth, he moved his dick along the hole, trying to find his opening, Christina began to moan already, Rich started to push slowly into her anus gripping her hips as his only leverage.
I didnât think heâd do it but he did as Christina seemed to freeze over Dave as the sensations of Rich dick entering her ass took over, she moaned to herself as inch by inch Rich forced himself in, she grunted once it was in to the hilt. The pair froze until I swear it was Christina who moved forwards and push back on Rich then it started. Rich was now pushing in and out of her ass, slowly at first to ease the pain and then to increase the pleasure. She moaned and swore but she remembered her first duty and jacked off Dave, soon she was beginning to urge them on, âCome on⊠fuck me you bastard⊠I need your cumâŠâ
Rich was ready to answer back, âYou love it like this donât you?â Christina moaned a yes but Rich repeated himself.
âYes⊠I love being ass fucked⊠so much betterâŠâ she answered this time. Christinaâs eyes kept flickering open and close doing her best to jack off Dave and stare him out, she was loving this I could tell that.
âYouâre a slut arenât you? A dirty slut.â Rich commented between each thrust.
âA fucking dirty slutâŠâ she said back, âFuck my ass⊠fuck⊠ohhh God!â she added. It was at this point she seemed to be boiling over and so was Rich, he was grunting like a wild animal as he gave all he could into that toned shapely ass of hers, his balls slapped on her pussy and Dave seemed to tense up, shit it was happening.
âCome on⊠ohhh yeahâŠâ Christina was becoming vocal again, âThatâs it⊠oh fuckâŠâ her voice switched between high pitched and normal, âOhh God⊠fuck yeah thatâs it⊠fuck my ass you piece of shit⊠fuck me⊠make me cum⊠ohh shit⊠shit⊠shit⊠shitâŠâ then she screamed, âOHHH SHIIITTT!â
She came hard panting, grunting and swearing like hell, Rich came too, he tensed up and came deep into her ass with a look of pure satisfaction on his face. At the same time Dave came, his huge dick exploded cum into Christinaâs face, a Christina who was panting hard but still made the effort to catch what she could in her mouth. The cum hit mouth and chin and a lot of her neck as it dribbled on to her chest and her breasts, she never complained and she never stopped pumping his dick until he made her loosen her fingers.
Rich eased out of her ass and fell back, he looked shattered, we all were, the drinking and the fucking had taken itâs toll, especially Christina as she mumbled something about going again before she slumped to the couch next to Dave and passed out. I looked around at the guys who were all as stunned as me, Rich and Jon both laughed then me and Dave joined in.
Rich asked, âAre we with her then?â
Dave and me shook our heads, we all laughed but for Jon who said âI kind of liked her.â This brought on some more hysterical laughter.
We werenât being cruel intentionally but we had no plans to work with Ms. Aguilera, not until were six foot under, what happened that night was something we would try to keep to ourselves and if she remembered anything she would too. She would make her album without us; we loved her âDirrtyâ video enough to ask for a copy from the girl⊠we never got one.