The Perils of Paula Pt. 01

RAINNIE

In this spin-off series from A Tale of Two Mothers, Rachel's old neighbour, Paula tells of her own encounters with women whilst doing their hair. It was referenced during the tale The Courtship of Rachel where she mentions that Paula had six lovers spread across suburban Melbourne. This is part one of the series.

I have to admit I'm a little nervous writing this tale, after all, I was the unfaithful wife but I feel like bringing closure to a part of my life that was both exciting and painful. I was Rachel's neighbour from across the street and her best friend, our husbands were both in the police force, her husband was in the Victoria Police and mine was with the Australian Federal Police. However our partners rarely socialised together due to Lewis's obsession with the AFP's higher ranking, but that didn't extend to their partners and neither Robert nor Lewis cared what we got up to.

I was the youngest child of three to David and Tina Flood, I have an older sister, Roberta and an older brother Stephen. My dad was hoping for a boy when mum was pregnant and he'd even picked out the name Paul but when mum gave birth to me it was changed to Paula. Because I was the youngest I got away with more than my siblings and that was to have an effect later on in life as you'll see.

I didn't have an unhappy childhood though, far from it, I was a happy go lucky kid who seemed to have no limits. I was into everything as a kid. However, I wasn't attracted to women sexually until I met Rachel. She was the one who first turned me onto women and she did it without removing a stitch of clothing or even touching me.

Prior to meeting her, I'd always thought of lesbians as being either butch types or the emotionally damaged women who fell for them. I know it's not exactly politically correct but I was in my late twenties and for years I'd been involved in the beauty industry. I cut my teeth in makeup and then enrolled in a TAFE college out in Box Hill to do hair. It was while I was still in college that I met Robert when he was lecturing law students doing one of those introductions to Law courses. He fell for me almost straight away but it took a few weeks before I went out on a date, and even though I had this no sex on the first date rule firmly lodged in my brain, I broke that rule and the rest, as they say, is history.

We moved into a house in Keilor for a few years and I gave birth to three children in fairly quick succession, Gary, David, and Elizabeth. The first few years were reasonably happy, and I had no thoughts of cheating on Robert but when we moved to Essendon he was transferred to the AFP and his workload increased dramatically. For the next three years though I just focused on raising our children and cutting hair. I was working a few days a week at the salon in Keilor Road but the rest of the time I was cutting hair privately, it was for cash only because I didn't want the tax man finding out about my extra income. Working privately was particularly attractive because you don't have to stick to a strict timetable if you manage your time properly and I was pretty good at time management. The women I encountered were all professional women, some of them worked from home and the others were on more flexible hours.

All in all, though, my life was more or less content and cheating was the furthest thing from my mind until the day I discovered Robert had been seeing someone else. I discovered it completely by accident when I went to see one of my clients and saw Robert's car sitting in the driveway of the house two doors down. According to my client, it belonged to Renee, a kindergarten teacher and at the time I thought it odd because he was supposed to be in the city but I thought nothing of it until he got home that night and complained he'd been stuck at his desk in the city all day.

"That's odd," I remarked, "your car was parked in the driveway of a house in Reservoir, one of my clients is two doors down, Renee lives there, apparently."

Robert turned as white as a ghost and came out with some excuse about her being a potential witness.

"A witness to what? A murder? Links to organised crime? Renee's a kindergarten teacher, it must be some totally secret identity."

Once again he tried to push the 'it's classified' argument but I wasn't having it, that's the problem with being so close to someone, eventually, you can read them like a book and Robert had a very distinctive tell whenever he was lying, he'd run a hand through his hair. By that stage, his hairline was retreating rapidly over his scalp so there wasn't much to play with.

"Are you having an affair?"

"Of course not," he spluttered, "how can you suggest such a thing?"

"Because you told me you'd been in the city all day but then you had to duck out to see Renee for something to do with a secret investigation. Perhaps I'll knock on Renee's door and ask why she's seeing my husband."

"Please don't," his eyes shifted, "it's not what you think."

"What is it then? A quick fuck? Because I could go a quick fuck."

"It was a quick fuck, she's a friend of a friend."

My next move took him totally by surprise when I lashed out and slapped him. I saw the shock turn to anger and for a few moments I thought he was going to strike back but instead, he backed off and held his hands up.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it won't happen again."

In hindsight, I should have thrown him out and ended the marriage but I didn't and that has a lot to do with stupid pride and the desire to keep up appearances for the outside world. My family didn't even know about Robert's infidelity, I felt mortified, ashamed, and angry all at once and for about three weeks he walked on eggshells. To his credit, I suppose, he did end the affair and even offered to go to counselling but I wanted to forget the whole thing and move on. An admirable trait in some cases except in my case I internalised the betrayal and a few weeks later Rachel stepped into my life when she and Lewis moved into the house across the road.

Rachel never knew about Robert's little affair, she had her own dramas with Lewis and her evil stepmother and I got sucked into that ongoing drama because it was a welcome distraction to my own internal drama. Rachel became one of my clients and I even did her hair for free because there was always wine involved and it was during one of those sessions that she outed herself.

"I mean I'm married but I consider myself bisexual but that's our secret."

I remember blinking at that and staring at myself in the window because Rachel was an attractive woman with a healthy head of hair. To think that this woman was bisexual was both intriguing and enticing and so I just asked her to tell me more. She told me about her encounters with other women in quite graphic detail and I confess that I was turned on but I still didn't tell her about Robert's brief affair with Renee. It did, however, spark a new desire within me to spread my wings when Rachel admitted she'd thought about dipping her toes in the pond again.

"I mean I'm not there yet," she told me, "but if I had an affair it would be with another woman because it's easier to hide the fact. Lewis would never question me about spending time with a girlfriend, men never inquire into women's business."

I've thought about that late afternoon session many times and recognised that if I'd stepped out and made a move then it might have happened, I can't say it would have been long lasting but the desire was there. What stopped me though was the fact that we babysat each other's children and as any working mum knows, babysitting fees can be a killer. Rachel babysat my kids for free when I did my evening sessions and I minded her kids when they came home after school. Thus, an affair with Rachel might have been exciting but it could have far-reaching consequences.

That conversation took place in late summer and I held onto that desire for the next two months until the end of April. The last weekend in April is traditionally a long weekend, the Anzac weekend when we remember our war dead, but for the rest of us, it's a time to kick back and have a barbie, go shopping, and generally relax. I was always busier on weekends because my clients would want their hair done but over long weekends I was usually swamped.

One of my regular clients was Rainnie. She was a forty-eight-year-old lecturer out at Monash Uni. She had two kids, both with families of their own but her marriage had ended when she was just bit older than me.

"I turned onto women when I ended the marriage and haven't looked back since," she looked straight at me in the mirror.

"The younger ones tend to hold my attention because they're willing to experiment, older women are more into commitment though."

I flinched at that and her eyes shifted.

"Something I said?"

"Kind of," I touched the hair clasp at the back of my head, "I've had a crush on my neighbour for the last few months, she's bisexual or so she tells me but she's not into cheating although she's in an unhappy marriage," I bit my lip and when she raised her eyebrows I finally did the unthinkable and let the cat out of the bag.

"I should be the cheating one, after my husband's little fling."

"Go on," Rainnie murmured.

I didn't want to go on but I'd let the mask slip and partly because she was an older woman, and also due to the fact she was just a client, I told her about Robert's affair with Renee. It felt almost as if I was the one betraying him, instead of the other way around but Rainnie merely nodded when I finally finished.

"It happens more often than you think, my husband was the first to have an affair and I could have dumped him as well but I didn't."

"Why not?" I asked her.

"At the time I just wanted to put it behind me and so I forgave him his infidelity but then he did it again and I decided to take matters into my own hands."

"What did you do?"

"I had an affair with his ex-lover, I thought it only fair to see what she had that I didn't and so I arranged to see her and brought around my special cookies," she pulled a wry grin, "marijuana cookies, she got stoned and I had my wicked way with her. Afterwards, I told my husband all about it and ended the marriage," she finished suddenly.

"Too bold for you?"

"A little," I admitted, "I'm not sure I want to seduce Renee and I'm definitely not going to have an affair with Rachel, it's going to complicate things between us."

"Understandable," she stroked her throat, "so, have your own affair. Two can play at that game and if you're going to have an affair then getting involved with a woman makes sense. I think most of the women I've been with since just want to try it on for size. It suits some but not others, and having sex with a woman won't turn you gay," she smiled at me, "I do get offers from guys but I prefer women because I know how a woman thinks and how to get out of it without too much drama. Then, of course, you have the whole security thing, a man can use physical force to get what he wants from a woman."

"Maybe I'll take up belly dancing them," I tried to change the subject.

"You could, I'll take you along to my group. There are a few women there who are about your age and at least two of them are that way inclined," she smiled, "and I should know."

"Maybe," I replied, "to be honest I just feel as if I need to get out more and do things I've never done before, like belly dancing or horse riding."

I finished doing her hair shortly after that and she examined herself in the mirror while I put my things away. She was wearing a loose white tee shirt and jeans but as she turned side on to the mirror she pulled the tee shirt tight across her breasts and I felt a slight twinge of desire. I thought at first she hadn't seen me look but Rainnie didn't miss much, especially when it came to women and when she turned around to look at me I pretended to be picking hair out of a hair comb.

"Fancy a drink or do you have another client?"

"I um," I straightened up and looked past her, "I could go a cup of tea."

"Tea it is," she murmured, "what kind of tea?"

"What kinds of tea do you have?"

"Oh, I have lots of different flavours," she put a hand on my shoulder, "green tea?"

"Okay," I smiled.

"Meet me in the living room," she squeezed my shoulder.

Over a cup of green tea, she did tell me more about her sexual orientation and I found myself drawn to it in a way that both repelled and excited me in equal measure. The negative aspect arose from the rather obvious fact that it was cheating but the positive side drew me in because men rarely if ever inquire into women's business. Nevertheless, I left her house that day with my head in a whirl. Rainnie hadn't overtly come onto me but she had cracked the door and just stepped back so that I could see just enough to whet my appetite.

By sheer coincidence, when I got home Rachel was pulling into the driveway of her home, she'd come home early from work and had detoured via Highpoint shopping centre. She'd bought some new clothes and as was her custom she wanted to try them on and get my opinion. It seemed as if the gods were deliberately mocking me considering what Rainnie and I had been talking about less than half an hour ago. Here was me in her bedroom while she tried on two dresses and a couple of blouses.

"One's pretty much for work," she held the brown and white striped blouse up, "but if I wore it loose it would pass for a more casual occasion."

"Yeah," was all I could manage.

"Something wrong?" Rachel looked at me.

"Feeling queasy," I admitted, "must have been something I ate this morning."

"Oh, you poor thing," she turned her back to me, "here, unzip me and then help yourself to the Panadol in the bathroom."

I unzipped her and then retreated to the en-suite bathroom to fetch the Panadol and by the time I came out she'd donned the blouse and was standing in front of the mirror.

"How do I look? Fuckable?"

"Very," I swallowed.

Rachel stared at me for a moment and then smirked.

"Huh, that's a bloody first for you, not thinking of switching sides are you?"

"No," I lied and then felt guilty about lying to my best friend but thankfully Rachel didn't notice or perhaps she did notice and chose not to push it. Either way, it was a surreal experience, this wasn't the first time I'd watch her change in front of me but it was the first time she'd done it after I'd been considering switching sides.

I went home and for the next few weeks I was kept busy but that incident in Rachel's bedroom kept playing on my mind. It was like a stone in my shoe and I found myself looking at women in the street or the salon where I worked part-time. It felt somehow dishonest because they weren't aware that I was looking at them like that at all. I indulged myself with fantasies that started with men but then evolved into women. The first time I ever masturbated over a woman it was over Rachel and it was quite intense, to the point I felt numb with guilt and pleasure in equal measure.

Nevertheless, it might have stayed as a fantasy but for one factor that would eventually come to dominate our marriage when Robert came home to tell me that he'd been given a promotion.

"They want me to be the liaison for state police forces, I'll be away for a few days at a time," he loosened his tie.

"Oh, well that might work out well for you," I shot back, "no chance I'll see your car parked in some woman's driveway."

"You just won't let it go, will you?"

"Do you blame me?" I stared at him, "and it's not over yet, not by a long shot but hey, you go off interstate but if you fuck some sheila at a whorehouse it goes on your own credit card, not the bankcard. Embarrass yourself but leave me out of it."

Robert turned bright red and once again I thought he might very well lash out because I was pushing his buttons but instead he simply threw his hands in the air.

"Fine, have it your way."

As it happened though, his first interstate trip was the middle of next week, he flew out on the Wednesday with plans to return by Friday.

"I'll be home for the weekend, we'll talk more then," he made to kiss me but then pulled back and stepped away, "take care."

I watched him drive away with a lump in my throat. Logic told me I should just take advantage of his absence and change the fucking locks but then my phone rang and I managed a sly smile as I looked at the name on the screen.

Rainnie.

"Hiya, Rainnie," I pinched my nose, "what's up?"

"Nothing," she replied, "I was wondering if you'd like to come around for a few drinks."

"Be a bit difficult now," I paused and then told her about Robert's new promotion.

"Oh, well maybe some other time then, how's your situation?"

"I um," I pinched my nose, "it's difficult."

"Want to talk about it?"

I could have outed myself then and there but instead, I babbled on about the kids, Robert being interstate and me feeling lonely and unwanted. I sounded like a teenager instead of a woman in her twenties with kids but Rainnie seemed almost amused when I finally trailed away.

"So, you'd like a little adult company."

"Yeah, give me some of that," I sighed, "I'm definitely in the mood for something different."

"Define different," Rainnie replied.

"As in, what we talked about. Do I have to say the word out loud?"

"It does help to say it. Talking around the problem is not the same as talking the problem through. So, when would you like to come around?"

I bit my lip as I moved over to the front window, I could see Rachel getting out of her car and recalled her saying something about switching her early day a few days ago.

"Perhaps today some time?"

"I have to put in a few hours at work," she replied, "how about half-past three?"

"I'll pencil it in," I paused, "just let me organise a babysitter and I'll text you?"

"Perfect, I have to get off this phone before some eagle-eyed cop spots me, take care," she hung up and I swallowed my nervousness. Was I really contemplating doing something like this? Did two wrongs make a right or was I just deluding myself?

I was in such a state when I knocked on Rachel's back door that I nearly blurted it out then and there but instead, as she let me in I merely asked if she could please mind the kids for an hour or two today.

"Sure," she shrugged, "you got a client?"

"No, it's someone I need to see, an old girlfriend needs some girl time."

"Been there, done that," she smirked, "give me some of that right now, Lewis is working later tonight on some case and I was hoping to get some of that later."

"Well, I'll only be gone a couple of hours," I replied, "maybe I'll stay longer when I pick up the kids if you want."

"Sounds like a plan."

It was a plan and it was ridiculously easy to arrange, as I discovered when I sent a text to Rainnie some twenty minutes later and got her confirmation text not long afterwards.

Rainnie: Great, see you at 3:30, you bring the wine and I'll supply the cake.

The rest of my day went as planned, I had two clients to see that morning and two hours at the salon before making my way home and it was only behind closed doors that I actually came close to backing out altogether. I was sitting in front of the mirror trying to psyche myself out of it when I heard a knock on the door. It was Rachel, coming to pick up the youngest child and she gave me the once over before speaking.

"What's up with you?"

I came out with it then, the whole rotten saga along with a few tears and when I'd finished she was quiet for a few minutes.

"So, you want to get your own back, is that it?"

"I don't know what I want, part of me is angry that he betrayed me and the other half is guilty that I'm just doing what he did."