The Perks of Being a Podcaster Pt. 02

All of the following is complete and total fiction. Not a single word of it occurred, nor would it.

The Perks of Being a Podcaster
by MrMaxLord
(MF, oral, anal, cons)
Chapter 2: Troian Bellisario

*****

"Ladies and gentlemen I do believe you know who our guest today is," I said. "She is a very, very long time friend of the show and an even longer friend to myself and Logan. The folks here live can see, but those of you at home downloading this after the fact, I'm going to keep you guessing with these very obvious clues."

"That also lack any kind of cleverness," Logan added.

"Thanks, second banana. She was our first celebrity guest on the show, has been on here the most out of anyone, and she has just become a first time director on her show that's ending...ladies and gentlemen, the show's favorite Little Liar...Troian Bellisario!"

With the intro out of the way, Troian came out on the stage, the audience applauding and given myself and Logan a big hug. It was always good seeing her. She really was one of my closest friends, as well as being the only ex I've ever had that I'd remained extremely close with. Very close, if one gets the implication.

"I always love getting that kind of an applause from such a half-assed introduction," Troian said as she sat down. "It's the most reliable high from joining you two in...well anything actually."

"You wound me Tro, you truly do. And I guess Logan if you catch him in between bong rips." Logan responded in the best way he knew how, flipping both myself and Troian off. "As you can see, he's actually progressed in human interaction."

"Oh obviously."

"So, how have you been Ms. Newlywed Director person?"

"Well, with that little nickname you mentioned the two major developments in my life, so pretty good. I've also been doing some short films, looking at some indie stuff, thinking about doing some theater again."

"Yet you still find time to slum it with us."

"Isn't that what friends are for? Pity appearances and embarrassing stories, that pretty much sums the three of us up."

"I can't really disagree with that," I said, remembering all the other bits that were just between Tro and myself. "Now, when you say these things about theater and short films and all the rest, are you talking about strictly acting? Because the episode of Pretty Little Liars you directed just premiered recently."

"Just acting right now." Tro replied. "But in the future, I really hope to do both. Maybe even produce. Don't worry, I totally still plan on slumming it with you two whenever you desperately need a guest."

"Well that's heartwarming. Okay, so me and Logan can attest to this, you're genuinely a good person, a great friend. I can only guess that the cast of PLL feel the same way about you. So what's it like to direct your friends?"

"Fortunately everyone on the set is not only a great friend, but a professional. You know, the real kind, not what you two do." Troian shifted a bit in her seat, her tight jeans showing off the greatest asset on her already damn fine body, her legs. "It was really as smooth as sailing as a first time director could ask for."

"Oh, well it sounds like your shiny new friends just know how to make you smile more than us old models," I said, playing it up to the audience to get some fake sympathy. It was an old gag to do with Troian, but it always worked.

"Oh, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times, we've been friends too long to let anyone replace you two." And the audience gives us the expected 'Awwwww' setting Troian up to say, "Besides it does appear that after more than twenty years I'm pretty much stuck with you. You guys are like herpes, only slightly more heartwarming."

"Well, I'll take that," I said, walking around the table and giving Tro a big hug. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, was our sitcom moment." I took my seat and was getting ready to bridge to our video segments when Troian interjected.

"You're kind of quiet this time Logan, what's up?" she asked, he big smile still on her face. "You usually are far too eager in backing Bartholomew here up on his bullshit." I gave Tro a look of half-serious disdain, that she returned with a laugh.. She knew I hated being called Bartholomew. It's why I told everyone my name was Bartleby, or Bart for short. She also knew she was one of the few people I'd let call me that.

"Well, the honest truth is I'm suuuuuuuuuuper fucking stoned right now and I'm surprised everything has gone as smoothly as it has so far." Logan replied, getting a huge laugh from Tro and the audience.

"And on that note, as is tradition when ever we have a Pretty Little Liar on the show, we venture to a world where two great groups of four women, one just starting out in life the other having experienced it, are combined into one..."

"Bart, surely you don't mean," Troian said, hamming it up at full blast.

"That I do, old friend. Yes, it's time once again to take a look into the world of Pretty Golden Liars." Stoned as he was, Logan still knew when to hit the video cue and then it was time for a break. Usually Tro would go tot he back and chat with us and catch up, but she needed to take a call immediately. It wasn't unusual, but her demeanor afterwards was. The energy seemed drained from from her, just like her smile. Before I could ask her what was wrong, Logan gave us our return cue and we were back, and so was her smile, but I could always tell the difference between the real deal and what she was putting on now.

"And we are back from a bit I'm surprised is still alive," I said to the crowd. "Both in terms of somehow still getting laughs but the cast as well. No offense ladies, if you're listening."

"Well if they have their hearing aides in I'm pretty sure you're in the clear," chimed in Logan.

"Holy shit he can talk." The audience laughed, and even a genuine chuckle came from Tro. I gave her a smile back. We still had some time to fill, and there was one subject we hadn't really gotten to cover that could eat up some time, but if my guess was right, which they usually were when it came to what was bringing Troian down, I wasn't sure I wanted to approach it. Then again, there was a lot of time to eat up.

"Well, in addition to all the work you've been doing you've also had a big change in your personal life, right Tro?"

"Oh yeah. Must've slipped my mind what with all the dick and fart jokes that enter my orbit when I come around you two. But alas, I am indeed officially taken." The audience applauded and Tro smiled, and the smile was almost genuine enough to fool someone who knew her.

After some small talk concerning her bachelorette party and nuptials, I quickly steered the subject into slightly easier territory, growing up with myself and Logan vs. Her character growing up on the show. Cheap and hackneyed, yes, but I didn't want my friend to dwell on something that was obviously bothering her.

Fortunately, it turned out to be a fun bit and before any of us knew it, our time was up and the show was over. We headed backstage and almost immediately Tro stopped me before I could get to my car.

"Am I still good to crash with you tonight?" she asked, any traces of the false smile gone. "I could still get a motel room or just head home now if it's a problem.

"Tro, it's never a problem." I replied. "Is everything all right?" She leaned against the wall, taking a deep, frustrated breath.

"I'm pretty shit at lying to you, so I'm going to tell you, just when we get to your place."

"How many bottles of wine we gonna need?"

"I think we better just jump right to the scotch."

"That bad?"

"Just have it ready. Neat. I'll pick up the take out. Thai?"

"Works for me." By the time I got home and got the Scotch, Tro was at the door, arms full of Thai food and her overnight bag. I took the food off her hands and brought her in to my humble abode.

"Yours is the Panang chicken, hot," she said. "Also got us an order of spring rolls to split." She put her bag down and headed straight for the kitchen counter with the whisky and poured two glasses, neat while I opened up both food containers.

"You know, might be wise to wait until we eat to start in on the inebriation."

"Not in the mood to be wise tonight." Troian downed her glass then took a seat on the couch. "Drink up, then we eat." I did as she asked. Whenever she was like this, it was best to just let things play out. I grabbed us both a couple of waters and sat down next to her.

"So, I can only guess the phone call was bad." Troian gave me a look that screamed 'No fucking shit' then took a swig of her water.

"He did it again," she said, more matter-of-factly than anything. Only a tinge of anything resembling sadness or anger. It was routine, which honestly kind of got me mad. "Twice actually. And the trusty guilty conscience had him call me, right int he middle of interview, to tell me about it. With a surprising amount of detail for such a short call."

"Well that's certainly delightful." I took a breath to ask the question I always asked when this happened. The routine was on autopilot. "Look, you never would have taken this from me so why do you put up with it from him?"

"I love him," she said. "I mean, well, I loved you too...but it's different. No offense."

"None taken." I said, honestly. "It's been almost ten years. I'm good."

"Yeah, well I'm not, obviously. I want to be furious and tear him a new one...but he's addicted to it, you know? Or maybe I'm just making excuses, I don't know. I feel like I should be angrier. But I guess I'm just so used to it." She poured herself another drink, only this time sipped at it. "I can't even cry over it anymore."

"But on the bright side I heard the wedding was great," I said, trying to bring the mood up.

"I'm sorry I didn't invite you," she said, completely misreading my comment. "I promise you it was only because, well, she was there as well and it would have been weird to not invite Ashley and, you know."

"Tro, I understand and thank you for it, believe me." Now it was my turn to finish off my Scotch.

"I think you should sit down and talk to her," Tro said, masterfully shifting the subject from her life to my own. "You and Ashley were great together. And she's sorry, she really is."

"She cheated on me for six months of the two years we were together! With two guys. If forgiveness is divine you're probably a lot closer to being a god than I, Tro."

"Look, fair enough on that. But you won't even talk to her. I get it, I do. When I found out I wouldn't talk to her out of loyalty to you."

"Thank you," I said, raising a toast to her before taking another drink.

"Uh huh. Look, I couldn't stay mad at her, not after seeing how sorry she was. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I learned a long time ago that's not how to get results from you. I'm just going to say give her a chance. I'm not saying get back together with her or anything of the sort, but, you know, just listen to her? Maybe kill two birds with one stone and have her on the show, too. Do an interview, get used to talking to her again, then actually talk to her."

"You're not going to let this go until I give a little, are you?"

"Probably not," she smiled. "But it's only because I don't want this hanging over either of you. You're both my friend. And you, you asshole, are my BEST friend. So yeah, I want to try and fix this and bring back a time where you were with someone that made you happy that wasn't me. And don't even try to lie and say you weren't happy."

"I won't lie. And I will talk to her. Tell her to be ready in a couple weeks to do the show. It won't be the stage show, but a studio show. The theater is booked that week. I am not, however, promising anything on the romance front."

"Well, half the battle won." Tro smirked, then began to read my face. "There's someone else, isn't there?"

"Maybe. Last time Liz was on the show and we hooked up."

"Yeah, and? That's nothing new." Which it wasn't.

"Well, this time we started saying things that,while not very conductive to casual sex, was very...almost couple like. Quick summary, we fucked in her limo then we slept in her hotel room because we both said we like waking up next to each other."

Obviously after getting that off my chest I was fully expecting to see the face of my best pal Troian barely containing her laughter. I was not disappointed. "That's adorable," she laughed. "Did a sitcom 'aaaaawwww' play afterward?"

"No. Besides if my life was a sitcom it'd be single camera, no laugh track and I won't hear any different."

"Fair enough. So...are you two, you know, a thing now?"

"Eh, we don't know. Too early. But it's something to think about, ya know?"

"So...you're not exclusive then?" Tro asked, her tone of voice changing again, signaling the only good part of her woes. "Because, well, you know, we do have a little tradition for when events like today's occur."

"That we do." And those were the last words spoken before Troian straddling me and we began to make-out. Troian and did indeed have a tradition. Something to even the balance. It was regrettable, but at the same time, neither of us could deny it was very pleasurable. Any of the problems that we might have had when we dated had nothing to do with our sex life.

No time was wasted. The heat was already on and before I even realized it we were both in stages of undress, our shirts tossed to the floor and the two of us scrambling at each other's pants to get them removed.

Eventually enough thinking capability returned to our heads to realize that it would be a lot easier to remove both of our pants if we just got up off the couch. With that conundrum solved the two of us fell back on the couch, Troian beneath me. There were no words. Honestly at this point we didn't need them. We knew what the other liked and what we didn't. It was all killer no filler in sex form.

Troian let out a deep moan when my mouth went to her nipples, shivering a bit as I began to nibble and bite on them, desperately crying out for more, which of course I could never refuse.

Before I could move down any further on her body Troian grabbed me by the head and guided me back to her face. "Enough foreplay. The day I've had, I flat out need a good, sennseless, instinct only fuck," she said, licking at my lips.

I let my actions speak for me in answering her. I grasped Troian and picked her up with the full intent of finishing the night in my bedroom, but she did say instinct only, and my instinct at the point was demanding I pin her against the wall and take her on the spot. Fortunately, that was right up Tro's alley.

"Mmm, always a perfect fit," Tro said, a big grin on her face s I thrust inside her. "Mmmm this dick always feels so fucking good...always makes me cum."

"I hope the man behind the cock gets some of the credit," I joked. Tro's only response was her million dollar smile and another kiss. She tightened her legs around me, and held on ithgtly with her arms. My hands went to her ass, massaging it before we finally made it to my bedroom. "Hope you don't mind a nice, comfy bed over a wall."

"I think I can handle it Bartholomew," she said with a wink.

"Oh, did you just call me the forbidden name again?" I playfully asked. "Well, that just throws off my concentration."

"Noooooo," Troian whined as I pulled out. "I was just joking, come on and fuck me, please?"

"Well, maybe I could be convinced..." before I could say anything else an anxious Troian got up and kissed me, putting me on my back and her no top.

"Well, if you needed some convincing just say so." She glided down my body and promptly took my cock in her mouth. No tease, no build up, just full on action designed to put me on the edge in the best way.

"Holy shit yes," I growled. Troian knew all the right spot to hit and how long to hit them to just keep me wanting more without exploding in her mouth. All this and Troian being one of the most amazing women in the world just bewildered me at the thought anyone would ever cheat on her.

Before I could ruminate on it even further, Troian was done blowing and wanted to get back to fucking, now with her in charge. Before he I could fully register it, Troian was riding me, looking like a total sex goddess. A light sheen of sweat on her, the way her face looked when she moaned.

Looking up at her, in that moment, I have to be honest I almost came. The fact I held it together was nothing short of a medal-worthy feat. Still, we knew each other two well, we knew what buttons to push and before long, it was going to be over for both of us. And since we began doing this, that was usually Troian.

"FUCK cumming!" she yelled, mid grind on my cock. She fell forward and shuddered in my arms as her orgasm rocked her body. And that was my cue. I kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear I was close. She replied with a kiss to my lips and a whisper of, "I'll handle it."

She slid back down and returned her mouth to my cock and in short order I unloaded in her mouth, Troian's brown eyes locking eyes on mine as she swallowed everything I had to give.

When the spout was dry, she crawled back up my body and I put my arm around her, pulling her close. "Needless to say, that was great," I said.

"Mmmmhmmm." she replied. "Not going to be much on the friendly banter. Kinda dick drunk."

"Me too, but with pussy."

"Ha. I think I'll just sleep in your bed tonight instead of the office fold out if that's cool."

Seeing as I had no issue, we fell asleep fast. I awoke to the smell of French toast and an empty bed. I followed my nose to the kitchen to see Troian behind the stove cooking breakfast.

"Morning," she said, grinning and glowing in the morning sunlight wearing nothing but an old t-shirt of mine I gave her years ago. "I know usually pay you back for the lodging by buying breakfast, but I felt like staying in. That going to be a problem?"

"Well, you know I how I just love my French toast with the authentic cigar ashes from a diner cook, but I'll take it." She plated the food and put it on the counter. I skipped it and got behind her, embracing her and kissing her neck.

"Mmmm," she moaned, her hand reaching around and running through my hair. "Did you want a side dish?"

"A side? My dear Troian, this is a main course." I turned her around and l hiked up her t-shirt. No panties underneath. Perfect.

"Oooh Bart." Troian breathed deep while i began to have a bit of her for breakfast. "Fuuck yeah." Her hands grasped my hair while I worked her clit, my tongue moving like it was conducting a symphony. My fingers found something to do two, some inside herpussy, the others creeping towards her ass.

"I know what you want," she gasped, her voice breaking when I hit a particularly good spot. "And...unnnhhh...mmmm...I want it too...fuck...besides, Patrick had two women...only fair it's two times with you this time."

I backed off and Troian turned around, her ass facing me. With such an inviting sight, I couldn't imagine anyone resisting. I went after her ass with the same kind of vigor I did her pussy before standing up behind her. Knowing saliva wasn't going to be enough, I entered her pussy, thrusting into Tro's very wet cunt, grunting gin her ear. "Fuck...fuck Tro...fuck..."

"Yeah...say my name...say it louder when you take my ass." That's Troian for you, no one better at invites. After a few more pumps I pulled out and pressed against her ass. I felt her breath deep as I pressed forward, so I moved my have to her pussy, working her clit as I slowly entered her backdoor passage. We both breathed out when I was finally in. "Holy shit that's tight," she growled. "Been a while."

"You want to stop?"

"Fuck no. I want you to fuck my ass." She braced herself against the kitchen as I slowly built up a pace. Not too fast, not too slow, and perfect to drive us both wild.