The Potent Phrase Pt. 05

"Hey Ralph! Good to see you. It's as quiet as a church in here. I'm glad to have some good company."

"Hey Jerrie," I replied, "I missed you!"

Jerrie busied herself with my first drink and then stayed to talk. With two bartenders and three customers it seemed like we would have plenty of time for that.

Despite all the distractions of my adventures and despite the fact that I could have pretty much any woman I wanted now, I really liked this girl. I decided then and there that I wasn't going to use my special powers on her ever again. Well, I reasoned, unless it was absolutely necessary for, hmm, our combined enjoyment!

"Ralph, I have so much to tell you. Guess what, I dumped the idiot! You won't believe what happened."

Jerrie proceeded to tell me all that had happened to her since she left my apartment that incredible night. The details are not worth recounting here but basically, if you recall, she had stopped short of having actual penetration sex with me because she had a boyfriend. She had gone home, hours after her bar closed, feeling mildly guilty, and accidentally caught her boyfriend skyping with a girl.

"I walked into the apartment, I guess I was kinda quiet cos I didn't want to wake him and, instead, I heard him talking to someone. I probably should have spoken out so he knew I was there but I was surprised and curious and, sure enough, he was talking dirty to some girl. You know me, I waited and listened and then, at the very worst moment, walked in like: 'What the fuck?' and ruined his jollies."

Jerry and bf had been planning to move in together at the end of the month despite her mild reservations. At least the ones she had expressed to me were mild. To her credit, once she caught him 'in skype delicto' she had left his apartment, gone home, and sent him his Dear John by email, all before going to sleep for the night.

She told me all this while I drank my first drink. Then she left to attend to her chores and spend a few minutes chatting to the other staff and customers. As I drained my glass she came back and refilled it and leaned in to chat with a serious expression.

"Ralph, I'm done with men for a while. I mean, with boyfriends. But you know better than most that I'm a horny pervert like you and I can't give up on dick."

I wondered - or to be fair I suspected and hoped - I knew where this was going. It would be so easy to Uber it there all by myself but I had promised myself I would let her drive herself to whatever fate she chose.

"I've been thinking about you all week, Ralph. You've always been good to me and, the other night, you were amazing. I've been thinking... wait, look..."

Jerry straightened up a little and pulled down the neck of her uniform T-shirt. Even in the dim light I could could clearly see what she was showing me: the cream teddy she'd borrowed from my apartment.

"See? I was thinking about you! I thought you might be in tonight but I swore I'd wear this every shift until you did!"

She looked at me as if to confirm that I understood all the complex implications of her wearing the teddy and I pretty much felt that I did.

"Ralph, listen," she implored me, "I don't want very much from you!"

"I mean I don't want anything complicated. I know you have Julia and I know you're not a monk when she's not around and I don't want to disrupt your life. But I know you like me and I know we had fun and my inner pervert is driving me crazy! Can you please fuck some sense into me for a while?"

I grinned at her: "Jerry, hun, it would be my pleasure to help you with such a difficult problem!"

"I really do like you, I always have. I'd never want to hurt you or mess up your life. And like you say, my life is pretty complicated already but, if we're smart, we could have a lot of fun together."

"Exactly! You're exactly what I need right now. Someone sent you to me. We won't fuck this up, we know each other pretty well."

Indeed, someone had sent me to her: the Old Man was behind a lot of this. I tended to think she was right about us not fucking it up even though I was well aware that women are a little too complicated to pull off a pain-free, drama-less relationship such as we were proposing.

I said: "Why don't we set some rules, but I hate that word, some guidelines? Why don't you tell me what it is that you'd like to have from me?"

She thought for a moment: "I'll be honest with you, Ralph. Sometimes I know I'll want a man to hold me, appreciate me, to... ah... love me. And, God knows from recent events, sometimes I'll want you to tie me to the bed, spank me in the park, force me, expose me..."

She trailed off leaving both of us imagining a litany of perversions that could be wrought against her. I was quite impressed with what she had said. She realized and embraced the double-edged Damoclesean sword that threatened such relationships. I could actually see this thing working with her.

Then I had an idea...

"Jerry, my friend, you already know I love you and I want you too. I actually agree that we could make this work. But I have an idea..."

"Oh God, no! I'm scared now!" she laughed. And so she should be!

"Yeah, I'm a little scared too. If you don't go for it I'm worried that it will hang over our heads. But it's something I've never done before and I'll maybe never get another chance..."

"Go on. Spill it Ralphy."

Now I hesitated. This was big. Could I? Should I?

"Jerry, my father called me 'Ralphy' sometimes. You're one of the few others that I like to hear it from. And that's kinda what I've been thinking about. Names. What I'd like to propose, right here and now, is a thing about names."

"What do you mean? You don't want me to call you 'Ralphy'?" she asked looking confused.

"No, hun. When we're together, in public or around other people, you can call be Ralph or Ralphy or whatever you like. What I'm suggesting is..."

She laughed: "Yes, sir, I understand, go on."

The smartass girl got it already! My heart pounded. Not only was she going to agree to this but she understood it instinctively. Maybe this was the true gift from the Old Man. Maybe it was to have The Phrase and to not necessarily need it. I went for it.

"Thank you for understanding me, Geraldine. When we're alone you'll use the correct form of address for me. If we're around other people and I use your full name... I don't really want to call you names like 'slut' or 'whore', I'll probably use Geraldine, but, if I do you'll understand that you're in our private role."

"Yes sir, I'm excited sir!"

"Are you busy after work Geraldine?"

"No sir, not at all."

"Very well, I'll leave in a while and you can come to me when you're finished."

"Of course sir!"

"Jerry, now we've got that settled, can you get me another one, my friend?"

She laughed and leaned across the bar and kissed me full on the lips.

"Yessir! Absolutely sir!" she laughed and took my glass.

I felt sure that things were going to be fun for a while but, reveling in my good luck at the height of my borrowed powers, I didn't realize how wrong I was.