The Regiment Ch. 05: Mess Rules

This is a standalone story that should make sense even if you have not read any other chapters. I wrote this a year ago but have not got round to submitting it - sorry for the delay. Towards the end, this story ticks off a few different kinks - as always, this is fantasy (although partly based in real events). Thanks for reading.

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Andy checked his bow tie in the mirror a final time, made sure his miniature medals were sat straight on the breast of his bright red Mess Dress jacket and had a final look for any undone buttons on his navy-blue waistcoat before knocking back the last of his whisky and turning out the light to his room in the Officers' Mess. He strode out into the dark and set course for the opposite corner of the small British Army base in Yorkshire.

As he walked through the quiet darkness he exchanged a nod with a security guard; a huge German Shepherd trotting along beside him. Alone again he considered his first month in this new posting and decided he could count himself lucky. In his Battalion, he had been caught doing something (very) naughty with his Platoon's Medic - a non-commissioned officer. As he himself was a Captain this had nearly cost him his career, but instead the girl had been whisked off on a special assignment somewhere and he had been assigned to a large Headquarters up North. The work was nowhere near as exciting as being in his Battalion but it would certainly do his career no harm. He definitely did consider himself lucky.

A few short minutes later he was at the entrance of the Sergeants' Mess. Tonight was the anniversary of a Napoleonic battle. It had actually been a great British defeat, but peculiar to British culture, the Army celebrated its 'brave and glorious' defeats almost as much as its victories. So, some 200 years after the last short was fired, the Officers were invited to the Sergeants' Mess for drinks, dinner, drinks, toasts, speeches and more drinks. It was considered a badge of honour if you were still one of the last men standing in the bar when the sun was rising the next day. For their part the Sergeants' Mess would assign hosts to each guest to ensure they were so plied with alcohol that they crashed out long before that. The rivalry between the Messes was good natured and founded on grudging respect, so Andy was looking forward to this evening greatly.

Walking into the dimly lit entrance hall (which looked blindingly bright compared to outside) Andy was met by his host for the evening. He was slightly surprised that it was Sergeant Armitage; a rather pretty, late twenties clerk who worked in the office next to his. He looked her over in her long dress and high collared jacket deciding that while it was not exactly a miniskirt, she looked considerably more feminine than she did in her combats.

"Good evening Sir." Sergeant Armitage beamed at him, handing him a pint of lager with one hand. "A drink?" Andy nodded his thanks and took the glass from her. As soon as the weight had been transferred to him, her other hand came quickly over the top with a penny clenched between her fingers. One of the oldest tricks in the book was to drop a coin into someone's drink and, as it was embossed with an image of the monarch, to tell your victim that 'the Queen is drowning' which then forced the target to down the drink in one go, catching the coin in their teeth and therefore 'saving' the Queen.

Andy was not easily caught off guard. Without spilling a drop of beer, his free hand caught Sergeant Armitage by the wrist and jerked her hand away from the glass and towards him. The penny, already being released, dropped harmlessly onto the floor and rolled into the corner of the room. Sergeant Armitage squeaked as she came off balance in her heels and stumbled towards him, ending up with her warm body pressed to him, looking up at his face with trepidation; a situation that surprised them both.

They stood like that for an indescribably long two seconds, looking into each other's eyes before she pulled herself upright and blushed bright red. For his part, Andy managed to keep his composure and quietly offered "Well, this is a more hands on style of hosting than I am used to. I hope this continues. Shall we go on through..." The Sergeant, cursing under her breath, but managing to smile anyway, led Andy through into the ante room. The room was large, with lots of space for the fifty or so people stood in it. Its walls were covered in antique weapons, silver pieces stolen from the French hundreds of years ago, and oil paintings of Victoria Cross winners. It was a room that reeked of history and tradition and immediately put Andy at ease.

The same was not quite true of Sergeant Armitage however. She conducted her duties as a host well enough; ensuring his glass was never empty, steering him round the room to talk to different knots of people, reminding him of people's names when he stumbled. But throughout it all she seemed on edge and was knocking back gin and tonics at an alarming rate. Rather than calming her down, the booze seemed to be pumping her up more. In no time at all she was quite drunk and insisting, in a slightly manic way, that he should call her Michelle - something he refused to do.

This did not mean he was not enjoying her company. Despite the fact it was a bit like watching a car crash, Andy was interested in her anecdotes, amused by her (very unusual) laugh and just a little bit turned on whenever she leaned on his arm - which was often. Eventually they had spoken to everyone in the room that Andy had any desire to talk to and he caught her by the wrist again as they were moving across the room and pulled her towards the fireplace so they could talk just between themselves.

"I know a secret." Michelle said, giggling once they were alone.

"What's that then?"

"I know why you are here at a Brigade HQ rather than in your Battalion." Andy stopped sipping his drink and looked at her. "Your CO wrote a covering letter to the Chief of Staff when you were posted explaining the 'issue' that had got you moved. I do the shredding in the HQ but I read that one before I put it in the machine. It said you were found doing it in the back of a truck with a medic." Michelle was obviously very pleased with herself for knowing this information but Andy was far from happy. His hand found her wrist again and firmly squeezed. He leaned his face in close and hissed her ear.

"Sergeant Armitage..." he said through gritted teeth.

"Michelle." She interrupted. He ignored her.

"That is very sensitive information that could do me a lot of damage if it was public knowledge." He added menace to his voice as well as his imposing physical actions.

It was her turn to ignore him. "I'd like you to call me Michelle. I can't believe you called that Corporal by her rank the whole time you were banging her?" A drunken giggle slipped out, "Although I bet she called you 'Sir' didn't she?" Michelle leaned in herself, closing the distance between them to just inches and breathed so quietly he asked himself if he had heard her correctly "If you do to me what you did to her I will call you Sir, or anything you want..."

Before Andy could reply, a bugler marched into the room and played a short blast of deafening music before announcing that it would be five minutes until dinner was served. Sergeant Armitage sprang free from Andy's grip and headed for the toilets. As she walked she looked over her shoulder and smiled at Andy, making his mouth go dry as he considered what she might have just implied.

As they moved into the dining room, Andy was introduced to his other host for the evening, Sergeant Faye Milner who Andy only knew by sight from around camp. She was a logistician and had something to do with the driver troop in the support squadron. She was another girl who benefitted enormously from being out of combats and wearing something a bit more feminine. She was very different in body type from Michelle (who was curvy and buxom, with a soft feminine appeal - like a 1950's pin-up girl) and instead had the lean, skinny body of a runner, but not in an unattractive way. Andy thought that with her flat stomach, slim arms and lips that were always slightly parted she looked a bit like Mila Jovovich.

With a girl on each side of him, Andy had a great time at dinner as they drank wine, told jokes and shared stories. Michelle continued to get drunker than Andy as the meal progressed but she was not slumped at the table or slurring her words. Instead she was laughing more, talking louder and every so often leaning over to talk to Faye and resting her body on Andy's shoulder (something he found he could not object to).

While they were waiting for the starters to be cleared and Faye was occupied talking to someone on the other side of her, Michelle casually slipped her napkin onto Andy's lap under the tablecloth. When Andy picked it up he found, much to his surprise, that inside the crisp white linen napkin was a lacy black thong, neatly folded into a small ball. Andy looked at Michelle and got that same knowing smile. He wracked his brains and realised that she must have taken them off at the five-minute call before dinner. And if he was holding her knickers in his hands that meant that was nothing covering her pussy - a thought that tickled his imagination with the thought of a beautiful, naked pussy, waiting just inches from him. Faye turned back to him at that moment and he lost his chance to ask Michelle what the hell she was up to but he did use the napkin to wipe his mouth and take the chance to take a deep breath of the feminine scent of the thong. This earned him a dig in the ribs from Michelle but Andy felt she could hardly be scandalised when she was the girl wearing no knickers, handing them out to boys over dinner.

Eventually it was time for the Regimental Sergeant Major to give a speech. It was a good one, hitting all the major topics of history, tradition, pride and duty but making sure there were plenty of jokes thrown in as well. It had only been going a few minutes when Andy felt Michelle's hand on his thigh underneath the tablecloth. Regardless of how drunk she was, there was no way it was a mistake. Especially not when she fixed Andy with a long stare and smile to accompany it. Soon the hand moved firmly onto the bulge of his crotch which had been throbbing in his trousers since he received her 'gift' earlier. She gently squeezed his shaft secure in the knowledge that no one could see what she was doing although Andy was just as concerned that someone would see his reaction.

The teasing little bitch kept this up for the duration of the speech, then as the RSM announced there would be a 15 minute comfort break before the next speech, she quickly handed him her place card. Inside the card was hurriedly written in eye liner 'Scruffs Bar, now!' By the time he had finished looking at it, Michelle had vanished from sight into the throng of people leaving the dining room. Andy pocketed her knickers and rose to find the small honesty bar that would not be in use for the function this evening. Sergeant Milner gave him a funny look and gestured to his crotch with her eyes. Realising what she meant he hurriedly sat down again and reorganised his erection to make it a bit more subtle before trying again. Slipping away was easy, no one noticing him walking straight past the main bar.

When he walked into the Scruffs Bar, the main lights were out and only the light from the glass fronted fridges illuminated Sergeant Armitage. She had taken off her stiff, formal jacket and was kneeling in the middle of the floor, wearing just her blue silk dress with a bottle next to her. She had her legs tucked neatly up underneath her and was applying lip gloss when he came in. "Come here, Sir." she motioned with her finger. As he stood in front of her, she looked up through her eyelashes and whispered "We need to be quick." Wasting no time, she undid the buttons holding his flies closed and slid her cool hand into his trousers, fishing out his semi-hard dick. Jutting out horizontally it was pointing directly at her face but rather than putting it in her mouth, she leaned forward and planted a wet kiss, sticky with lip gloss on each of his balls. His dick immediately jumped and then bounced for a moment. Michelle smiled before repeating the trick several more times. Each time she did, his dick was slightly more elevated when it stopped moving until eventually it was rigid and reaching upwards out of the gap in his trousers. She then ran her tongue from his balls up to the sensitive area under the head of his cock and flicked the area rapidly causing him to draw breath. She moved her mouth until it was tantalisingly close to closing on his shaft but she stopped just short of forming a seal. She then sank back down on her knees, eliciting a groan from Andy.

Michelle giggled again and lifted the bottle from the floor. "Look what I found! It must have been here for years!" She was holding a bottle of creme de menthe, a mint flavoured liqueur that often cluttered up bars but no one ever drank. Andy watched as Michelle tipped a generous amount into her mouth then without warning grabbed his cock and pulled it into her mouth. The sensation was of a wet and slightly cool blowjob and was far from unpleasant but nothing unexpected. Michelle started to suck up and down over the first inch or two of his dick, keeping his head away from the back of her throat. Very quickly he felt the heat of the menthol on the sensitive skin of his cock along with the exquisite feel of her tongue washing the liquid all over his shaft.

Michelle pulled away from him and then pursed her lips and blew gently over the end of his penis. The heat he felt was immediately replaced by a shocking cold sensation that lasted for just a second before she pulled him back into her mouth, engulfing him in warmth again. Over and over she repeated the process; menthol sucking, cool air blowing, menthol sucking, cool air blowing. It was driving Andy mad; the time limit until he needed to be back at the table forgotten as he wished this sensation would go on forever. But there was no way that was going to happen as Michelle's mouth worked the top third of his dick and she moved her hands to start stroking the base of his shaft. Andy groaned again and inadvertently thrust himself into her mouth - a warning sign for any girl.

Michelle let his heavy dick slip out of her mouth but carried on stroking him with her hands. She looked up at him again and with her eyes locked on his whispered "Sir, you will cum inside me later but right now I want my desert. I want you to relax and shoot your spunk right... into... my... mouth." With that she clamped her lips back down on his dick and pumped him furiously into her mouth with her hands. Andy threw his head back with a groan and felt semen shoot out of his dick. Michelle was an absolute pro, keeping a tight seal on his shaft, not spilling a drop. As he fought the urge to grab her hair and fuck his dick into her face he instead balled his fists and relished the feeling of his cum pumping onto her tongue. As his spurts slowed and then stopped he felt his whole body relax and his toes tingled.

Michelle slurped her way off his minty, sticky dick and then keeping eye contact, swallowed the whole spitty, spunky mess, even opening her mouth to show him it was all gone.

"Quick!" she said, packing his tool away in his trousers. "We need to be back in the dining room soon!" He helped her back into her jacket and shoved the bottle back on the bar before they jogged, giggling back towards the dining room.

They re-joined the majority of the revellers just in time as people sat down at the table. Sgt Milner gave them both a dirty look as they came in together which made Andy's stomach lurch - for her part Michelle stuck her tongue out at her friend and blew a raspberry. Sgt Milner's face broke into a smile and she winked good naturedly at Andy, making him felt much better.

As they took their seats, Michelle leaned in and breathed into his ear "This had better not take long... I am dripping wet. I want you to come up to my room and run me through - I am fucking gagging for it!" Andy's reply caught in his throat as he briefly imagined lifting her ankles onto his shoulder and sliding his length into her.

The final part of the dinner dragged by. All Andy could think of was the girl next to him. Every little movement of her head reminded him that he had just blown a load down her throat. Every movement of her hips reminded him that her thong was in his pocket and her bare, wet pussy was so close to being uncovered. After an agony of waiting, dinner was over and the crowd moved through into the ante-room again. As they were moving through, Michelle grabbed Andy's wrist and pulled him out of a side door. They cut through the now quiet kitchens and in no time were in the corridor where the female sergeants had their rooms. At her door, Andy stopped her. "Are you sure you want this? We are taking a hell of a risk..."

"I'm not worried about that," she said, squaring her body to his, and putting her arms round his neck "I am so fucking ready for this I would do it even if the Queen was watching." Andy leaned down and kissed her. It was a strong, passionate kiss which she eagerly returned. The thought crossed Andy's mind that it was unusual for him to have put his dick into a girl's mouth before he had even kissed her for the first time. He put his arms round her and pressed her to his body, feeling her soft breasts crush against his chest. In return he flexed his erection against her belly and she giggled into his kiss. His hands slipped lower onto her bum and he took great pleasure in squeezing her cheeks firmly, almost lifting her from the ground. This time she gave a little shriek and dropped one of her hands to scrabble for the door handle, bundling them both inside as it swung open.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Andy manoeuvred them both so that Michelle was pressed against the wall. He slipped his tongued back into her mouth and it met hers, in a swirling, breathless kiss. Unable to help herself, Michelle was rocking her hips against him, rubbing herself on his shaft, it reminded Andy of her earlier admission of hidden nudity. Using both hands he started bunching up the hem of her dress, inching it higher and higher up her legs. Soon it was rising over the backs of her thighs and then finally the blue silk skimmed over the curve of her arse where her legs met her cheeks. He squeezed and kneaded her buns, relishing the feel of this woman before slipping his fingers inwards towards her centre.

Approaching from the rear as he was, his fingers first traced over her arsehole which twitched with fright before his fingers moved towards him and found her wetness. Oh, wow he thought, she really was wet. And what was more, he could not find a single hair, and not for lack of trying, she was completely bald. Every inch of her.

"Sgt Milner waxed me this afternoon." Michelle giggled before biting his lip gently. Andy's mind swirled with all sorts of images of Sgt Milner working between her creamy thighs. He traced his fingers along her lips, avoiding her clit and opening. Michelle, still entangled in the kiss, squirmed her hips against his hand, trying to get his fingers to touch her in a more intimate way. This time he bit her lip. "Not yet little one. Wait." He growled at her. She whined and pressed herself harder against him but he pushed her away, letting her dress fall back to her ankles.

He stripped her of her jacket, then undid her dress, allowing the yards of silk to slip off her shoulders and pool on the floor. She stood in front of him naked but for a strapless bra that was now really struggling to take the weight of her ample breasts. He tried not to stare at her vagina, just visible between her legs under her smooth, round stomach. He stepped to her again and released her hair, letting it fall loose around her shoulders. His hands then followed her neck, down her spine to the clasp between her shoulder blades. He released the clips, letting the bra join the rest of her clothes on the floor. He took a pace backwards and drank in the sight of her. She was beautiful like this, completely vulnerable but totally unafraid. He breasts rose and fell with her heavy breathing, her hands stroked her own tummy, her eyes sparkled and twinkled as she looked at him.