The Ride that Changed Their Lives

"What time was that appointment tomorrow?"

Paula blew on the freshly painted fingernails on her left hand, pointedly refusing to answer.

Nathan looked up from his laptop. "Sorry. Nine-thirty?"

"You forgot. Again," Paula said. "Yes, Nathan. Nine thirty."

"How's Amelia?" Nathan asked cautiously, and waited. And waited. He knew better than to ask the question a second time. Manipulative, yes, she was. Stupid, no she was not... and certainly not hard of hearing.

"She's fine," Paula said with an annoyed sigh. "She was at work when her car got stolen, remember?"

"I meant... moving all the way back here is a big deal, especially with no car. How's she getting home?"

"I told her you're picking her up tomorrow, after my hair appointment. Look." She held out her hands expectantly. Surprise, surprise, her nails were pink. They matched the pink diamond (third finger, left hand) that he'd only just finished paying off. He nodded appreciatively and said. "Beautiful." He went back to writing.

But try as he might, he couldn't focus on his work. He was used to his life revolving around Paula's happy. That was just what it took for their relationship to work. What he couldn't accept was how she treated others. Especially family, like Ames, who was a nurse, decent and kind, and who never hurt anyone. Even Paula.

He was happy to help Amelia, but Paula had undoubtedly told Amelia that he couldn't be there any sooner than tomorrow evening... which wasn't true. He could leave right that moment and be back well before nine thirty.

Nathan closed his laptop, set it carefully beneath the nightstand to his left, and walked to his closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to pick up Ames... Amelia."

Paula was off the bed and standing behind him before he'd even finished saying her sister's name. "You're taking me to my appointment at nine thirty, and I told you, I already took care of it, she's expecting you in the afternoon." She spoke as if to a child. He didn't have to turn to know she'd have her arms crossed, a condescending scowl on what was an otherwise beautiful face.

"I'm talking to you!"

"I can be back in time," he said as calmly as he could, glancing up but not stopping. He slipped on his sneakers and grabbed his cell, keys and wallet off the nightstand. He sat on the bed and threw on his sneakers, not bothering to tie them. He stood, leaned in to kiss her cheek. She recoiled and huffed in contempt. Yep, it still hurt for her to do that, and she knew it.

"Great, just fucking great, Nathan." She was pouting for real this time, and that was even more dangerous than her rage. She slammed the bedroom door. He opened the linen closet, tucked an extra pillow and their softest clean blanket under his arm and left.

Thirty seconds later he was pulling out of the driveway and he already felt better. At a stop light a few blocks from their house, he texted Amelia. She called back almost immediately.

"Nate, what the hell?" She knew Paula better than anyone. What he was doing was high treason.

"When are you supposed to start your new job?" He pulled into the Shell station. He didn't need gas, he needed fuel. It was going to be a long night.

"What? Tomorrow morning, but I already told them about the car. It's fine. Please, Nate. Don't do this. It's fine, really."

"You know how it looks when you're late to your first day of work. It doesn't matter how good your reason is, it sounds like an excuse to them. First impressions and shit."

"It's okay," she said, and he could tell she was really worried. Not about her job, but about him. "This is SO sweet of you but... don't do it. Please. For me?"

She'd been the first girl he kissed back in... what was it, seventh grade? He picked up her favorite snacks one by one, his mind spinning like mad. "It's too late now, and I can deal with the consequences. I deal with them no matter what I do anyway," he muttered. He paid with his card, took the bags of snacks back out to his car, and waited for her to answer.

"I understand that, better than you think," she said in a quiet, unsteady voice. "Thank you."

"I'll be there at four. Text me the directions for that hotel and get some sleep, Ames."

"Okay, Nate. I'll be ready."

He found his Mastodon playlist and cranked it, roaring out of the Shell station's parking lot. He did so love his Audi.

After four hours, two bags of Twizzlers, forty ounces of Coke Zero and NO texts from Paula, Nate pulled up to the Red Roof Inn on I-20, room one seventeen. Amelia's door opened immediately and she wheeled out two suitcases and a single canvas bag, which he found pretty funny. If it were Paula, there'd be three times as much stuff. He took it all, smiling nervously and stowed them in the trunk.

She looked tired, flustered and nervous as hell, but she smiled back at him warmly nonetheless. She was already dressed in scrubs. Her hair was down, a lush, curly brown so dark it was almost black. No dye for her, not since that purple phase in college. Her skin was the color of a rich cream, and she still had a few freckles on her nose and cheeks. She wasn't wearing her glasses and her big brown eyes were full of what looked like equal parts fatigue, worry and relief.

While Amelia turned in her key at the front desk, he double checked her hotel room. He found a sock behind the bathroom door but that was all. She'd been staying there between leases for a week or so, and everything else was already in her new apartment just five minutes from the one he shared with Paula.

He rolled up to the office and opened the passenger door for her from the inside. When she was in, he handed her the bag of snacks. She laughed good and loud and he couldn't help but join her.

"How in the world did you remember all of this??"

He shrugged, blushing, and pointed at the back seat. She looked back and saw the blanket and pillow, then looked back down at the snacks. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head. "Nothing." She squeezed his wrist, smiling from ear to ear, then set the bag between her feet. She snagged a bag of peanut M&M's, her absolute favorite. "Although I SHOULD kick your ass. All of this junk food, seriously?"

"So don't eat it," he said, grinning. "More for me."

"Jerk," she said, pressing an M&M to his lips. He crunched it, thanked her. "Seriously though, Paula hasn't texted me sooo... I don't know how bad it is."

Nate didn't answer, just roared back onto the interstate.

"That bad?"

"That seat goes almost all the way flat, it's super comfortable. You should get some sleep." He felt her hand on his wrist again, warm and soft and completely welcome, and his heart thudded even harder when she took his hand firmly. He looked up, surprised, and she was watching him, head back against the seat.

"Thank you." She pulled her hand back and he swallowed, watched the road. A few seconds later he couldn't help looking back over at her. She was still watching him.

"What?" He asked self-consciously.

She stuffed her face comically and didn't answer.

They didn't talk for a while and when he looked back over at her, she was looking out the window. She'd snagged the pillow and blanket and it looked like she'd really tried to get comfortable and sleep, but he could see the reflection of those big, sensitive brown eyes in the glass. She was off somewhere, deep in thought.

He pulled the blanket up over her shoulder and tucked it behind her back. He was afraid to find her eyes in the glass again. It wasn't long before she was snoring lightly.

He was tired, but he got plenty of sleep these days. He hadn't planned anything for the weekend anyway. Just taking Paula where she wanted to go. Nate looked back over at Amelia and saw her breath fogging up the window. The two of them were so much alike it was eerie, and she and Paula couldn't be more different.

Amelia had left Darren while she was still in college. Nate had never asked her why. Paula said it was because her sister couldn't commit to anything. As far as he knew, Amelia hadn't had a long-term boyfriend since Darren, either, but he didn't think it had anything to do with a fear of commitment.

He stretched his neck, flexed his arms and legs and checked the time. Five fifteen, right on schedule.

"I can't sleep," Amelia grumbled crankily.

"You were snoring," he said, trying not to smile.

"I was NOT." She tossed the blanket in the back seat and dug through the bag. "Girls don't snore. Or fart. Everybody knows that."

A couple of minutes later she said, "Hey come on now, don't give up that easy."

Nate glanced over at her. "Huh?"

"You're turning into a softy," she said around a handful of popcorn. "You don't like teasing anymore."

He sighed. "Can I ask you something? Kinda personal."

"Ask away, but there can't be much that you don't already know, Nate."

"Well... what happened between you and Darren? I never heard why it... didn't work out."

"Oh, that," she said, munching thoughtfully. She took a swig of his water, ignoring her own bottle. It was another old habit that he'd missed. "I was going to school and he wanted me to drop out and start a family. Settle down and be, I don't know... a housewife. A homebody. That just wasn't me. Not then, anyway. Now, hell... " She shrugged.

"Yeah, I get that," Nate said thoughtfully. "There's always more you have to do. More growing up, more difficult choices. More sacrifice."

"Being an adult sucks sometimes," she said, stuffing her face with popcorn.

"You can say that again. Actually don't, you'll probably choke and die, and I just shampooed the carpet."

She laughed and tried to clap her hands over her mouth but wet popcorn bounced off the glove compartment and windshield and some stuck.

"Hey!" Nate snapped, shaking a warning finger. "Don't make me pull this car over!"

Despite waves of giggles that took fifteen years off her twenty eight, she somehow managed to swallow the rest, collect the escapees and toss them in the bag. She took a long, noisy drink of his water, then sighed even more noisily. He took up the bottle, saw it was empty, and scowled at her.

"What?" She asked innocently. "Popcorn makes you thirsty."

He grumbled and dropped the empty behind his ankles. She held out her own bottle of water, already opened, and he took a swig.

"This is more like it," she said happily.

He handed her back the bottle. She took it carefully, her fingers lingering on his for just a heartbeat longer than he expected, but he didn't look over at her. He couldn't.

They didn't talk for a while, just passed the water bottle between them. An hour later he heard her snoring again. Without looking he reached over to tuck the blanket back around her shoulder. To his suprise, she was facing him and the backs of his fingers bumped her cheek. He withdrew them quickly, cursing to himself. Fuck, just keep your hands to yourself, he thought. She's fine. Let her sleep. Only an asshole would wake her up.

He couldn't help but look over at her and his heart jumped into his throat again. Her face was only inches away and she was so very lovely. A lock of her dark, curly hair had fallen across her forehead and it swayed with her breathing as she snored.

There were no other cars in sight and aside from the occasional gas station, the only light was coming from the dashboard. He looked back over at her and she hadn't moved. She was still snoring softly.

Nate sighed heavily and leaned his head back, worried and afraid. They only had about an hour left and he was finally starting to get tired. He kept stealing glances of Amelia and his heart hurt more by the minute.

"Hey."

He started, as her voice had come from so close to his ear. He swallowed, glanced over. "You need to sleep, Ames."

"You asked me a personal question, do you mind answering one?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Why do you stay with my sister when she treats you so badly?"

So there it was. Nate shook his head.

"I mean, she's my family. I'm stuck with her. But Nate, why do you put up with it?"

He could tell it meant a lot to her, and the fact that she was practically whispering it into his ear, so earnest and gentle, it undid him. He shuddered.

"If I ever... left her," he rasped, "I-"

She layed a hand on his wrist again, as if to fill him with her own kindness and encouragement.

"I've been trying so hard for so long. If I gave up, I'd be a failure at the most important thing I've ever tried to do."

Amelia didn't answer right away, but she didn't remove her hand, either. He relished the weight and warmth of it. He found it strange and even exhilarating that her touch was so overwhelming. It helped him forget his worries and ignore the pain of such a blatant, raw truth as what he'd just said. A truth he'd scarcely even admitted to himself before now.

"Is that really the most important thing?" She asked. He could feel her eyes boring into him and suddenly just wanted to pull over and talk... and talk. Talk until they were hoarse. Catch up and get back to where he'd been. Where they'd been.

"Starting a family is," he said, and immediately regretted that it was the only answer he could give. "I mean... hell. I don't even know what I mean." He exhaled sharply, annoyed with himself.

But it was okay. With her, it was okay. It was so weird how easily they'd fallen into their old closeness, but it was scaring him how much better it felt just talking to her, touching her, than it did with Paula. "I just keep telling myself it's not about what I want."

Finally, finally, she slipped her fingers into his hand and it was like he could feel strength pouring from her. Oh, wow, he thought, if this is what it's like for her patients, I'm so fucking jealous. He gulped down his anxiety but there was always more, and more. Still, he took hold of her hand and nearly wept when she tightened her grip, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.

"Honey it looks to me like... well, I'm sorry. I love my sister. I always will. But it looks to me like it's been so long since anyone cared about what you wanted that you forgot what it's like to have someone just want you to be happy. The last thing in the world you need to worry about is being selfish."

And then he did feel tears burning his eyes. He clenched his jaw and willed them not to fall. He nodded, shrugged miserably and cursed under his breath.

"I know," Amelia said, leaning her shoulder against his arm and folding her feet under her. "That's the real reason I didn't stay with Darren. He wasn't as mean as Paula, but he was every bit as self-centered. We... you and me, we're just not like that.

Paula's always been that way, she's just like Aunt Mary was. After a while, everyone is doing what they want because that's the only way to have a relationship with them. It isn't fair, it hurts, and you end up resenting it. That's why I asked why you stay with her," Amelia sighed, leaned against his arm a little more, and patted the hand she was holding. "You really don't have to put up with it."

Nate's tears never fell and he realized he was okay. Better than okay. Sometimes, hell... most of the time, just having someone really get you was all it took. "My mother was like Paula when she was younger," he said unevenly, "I realize now that I've been counting on Paula growing out of that kind of shit. Someday."

"Nate, Aunt Mary never changed. She just got worse and worse and eventually we stopped going to visit her. She died angry and spiteful and... well, it didn't matter what you said or did. It didn't make any sense. I watched my grandfather try to make her happy... try so hard, and it was never enough. He had like three heart attacks and died when he was sixty one." She hugged his hand against her belly protectively, just below her breasts, and Nate's stomach did a somersault. "I don't want something like that to happen to you, too. Not when I can help. If I can."

Nate's father was on his fourth marriage and his mother was on her second, and Nate would not, could not, follow that path. But the way things were going... well, he couldn't hold out forever. Once he'd thought he could, but now? Now, he was tired.

Amelia released his right hand and he put it back on the wheel. They didn't talk for a while, but she didn't go back to sleep. He peered sideways at her just as the sun was coming up and she was transfixed by it. He stole a glance down her body and despite the de-sexualization effect of her scrubs, her humble but generous curves were lovely... the curve of her hip, the long, smooth plane of her thigh, the full but subtle swell of her breast.

"Nate!" Amelia shrieked.

He swerved just in time. A flash of white was all he saw before his adrenaline took over. A bumper was protruding several feet into his lane from the shoulder, coming right out of a corner. He couldn't have missed it by more than a foot, but he missed it.

Hazard flashers lit up the interior of his Audi and he cursed his foolishness. He straightened them out again, avoiding a fishtail that would've made things worse. In the rearview mirror he saw a woman waving her arms frantically beside the car. Nate braked as hard as he could without losing control and pulled onto the shoulder, then backed up carefully.

Amelia was out and running before he even had the Audi in park and he turned on his own flashers, then followed her. Both of the Toyota's front doors were open and the woman was running to meet them.

Five minutes later, Nate pushed the Toyota further onto the shoulder and closed it up, then jogged back. Amelia was in the Audi's backseat with the older woman, whose name was Clara, and her mother, Trudy, who was slumped between them. The older woman had been driving and apparently suffered a heart attack. No other cars were in sight, at least on their side of the highway, and no one had been injured.

Amazingly, neither Clara nor Trudy owned a cellphone. They'd been sitting there for almost half an hour. Nate had had to carry Trudy, since taking them to the hospital himself would be much faster than waiting for an ambulance. Even so, Nate called 911 as he shot off toward the nearest hospital, where Amelia was going anyway. Nate left his hazards on, thankful that they didn't have rush hour traffic to deal with... one of the benefits of living in a pretty small town.

He flew along at almost a hundred miles an hour and kept his eyes on the road as best he could, but judging by Amelia's expression and body language, it wasn't good.

At just after eight, Nate carried Trudy through the sliding doors at the emergency room entrance of the hospital, almost trotting. She was awake and holding on limply but was obviously in quite a bit of pain. The nurses and orderlies were waiting and Nate set Trudy carefully on a gurney while Amelia explained the situation.

Nate sat down shakily and closed his eyes. Fatigue would hit him when his adrenaline abandoned him, but for now, he was okay. Clara thanked him quickly and disappeared with her mother.

Amelia wasn't far behind them but she did stop to give Nate the keys to her apartment and, amazingly, a brief but thorough kiss... on the lips. Accident or intentional, he had no idea. She left him there, throat working soundlessly, fingers outstretched like tree branches toward sunlight.

At five minutes to nine, Nathan leaned against his front door, closing it. He rubbed his face with both hands. He'd have to sleep soon, and there was still a shitstorm of passive-aggressive disdain and menace waiting for him in the other room.

He knew there was nothing he could say that would make any difference with Paula. He might've just saved someone's life and it didn't wouldn't matter. It would just be noise to her. It wasn't the first time he'd inconvenienced her somehow by helping someone else, but it looked like it would be the last.