The Rose Garden

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Mysterious stranger awaits Hala in her rose garden.
829 words
3.04
17.9k
7

Part 1 of the 2 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 09/04/2004
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Hala Tramayne just bought her dream house; well it is more like a castle. The retailer looks at her queerly when she said it would just be her living there. She just smiled and said, "I love a big house, and sense I am a writer I like my privacy."

"Well it's your money." He replied as he handed her the keys. Then he walked back to his car to leave.

He left in a hurry, she thought to herself, but shrugged it off. Who cares you own a castle...how many of your friends can say that.

Once she was in and settled, she walked to the kitchen. From the window, she could see the rose garden... Garden, more like a maze. She sighed... to bad its fall, it would look so beautiful in the spring.

She notices the sun is beginning to set... Therefore, she walked up stair to her astonishing bedroom. It was a little on the dark side, but she did not mind, her bed looked so inviting with its silk sheets and fluffy pillows. A cool breeze was blowing through the window she was sure was closed an hour ago. Hala walked over to it, and glanced out in the yard... goose bumps appeared on her arms, she could have sworn someone was watching her. She quickly close the window and pull the curtains. Still not able to shake the feeling of eyes upon her, she decided to light the fire and curl up with a good book.

Once Hala had the fire going, she walked over to her bookshelf and picked her favorite erotic book. The Razor's Edge... Hala loved the vampires in it; how she wished she could meet a real vampire.

She was really getting into the book when she heard the grandfather clock chime eleven. I need to get some sleep, she thought to herself; forgetting all about whom ever or whatever had been watching her. She got off the floor, stretched, and then sat the book on her nightstand. Walking over to her closet, she selected a sexy little white nightgown. Taking off her cloths she laughed at herself when she noticed how wet she had gotten for reading the book. I really need a man around...she sighed as she slipped on the nightgown and glanced at her lonely bed. Turning out the lights, she got into bed.

Just as Hala was drifting off to sleep, she heard a hypnotic beautiful voice calling out to her. She quickly sat up and looked around the room, but nobody was there. Then she felt a cool breeze on her skin, making her nipples hard. Her window had gotten open again. She could still hear the man's voice. She listened closely, and then noticed it was coming from the rose garden. The voice was drawing her to him...the voice weaved a spell around her; making arise from her bed, and begin to walk down the stairs...to the back door.

She could feel the cool night air on her skin, the damp grass on her bare feet. She began to walk in to the maze of roses...the moon the only thing lighting her way. She then noticed the moon was growing red; the closer she got the mysterious stranger the redder it became.

Now she stood there in front of the handsome man...His long red hair blew in the wind. There they were finally face-to-face in the garden of dead roses. His green eyes glowed in the darkness, drawing her in more and more, and then his lips brushed against her own. His lips burned with a deadly passion...soon he laid her down on a bed of dead roses. He wanted to take Hala there in the garden of death. He reached out and ripped open her nightgown, revealing her youthful breast, and her own garden. Just looking down at her, as if he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Then grabbing Hala's legs and holding the wide apart he thrust into her wet pussy hard. Pulling her out of his trance... Staring up at him, thinking this cannot be real; I must be dreaming. Pain filled her body as he began to bite her neck. Making her cry out in pleasure. Hala's body begins to tremble, as she got closer to climax; she closed her eyes tightly.

When she open them he is gone...who was that handsome stranger? Hala covered her ears as she heard his voice again; it echoed in her head, like a song. What made the blood pour from the moon, as she looked up she did not have to ask. Hating he who knows all, damn the moon. Why had he taken her in a bed of dead roses? She winced as pain surged through her back. Thorns piercing her like poisonous needles growing out of the roses. Where had he gone? Not knowing what happened, she grabbed her neck...then realized her wish had come true.

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little_Elittle_Eover 17 years ago
needs work

This is a fun and titillating idea, but the writing definitely needs work. The small word choice, syntax, and grammar errors were distracting from the story. I also felt that it moved too quickly, jumping from idea to idea without much transition or explication. It would have been nice to see a bit more inner monologue as well-- I think this tends to help build up the sexual tension.

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