The Sand & the Keyhole Ch. 04: End

Murad felt warm inside. Every part of me tingled as I plunged the length of my shaft inside and out of him. I wanted the whole world to see as I fucked his round ass and see the broad smile on his face as he enjoyed giving himself over to me for me to pleasure. I felt a part of him. As I looked around, I realized how far from civilization we were, yet I felt part of something bigger. I felt connected.

I thrust harder and harder. I held his knees to prevent him from falling backward into his seat. The entire time his head was tilted back looking at the now clear sky. The planets reflected in his eyes. The moonlight brought out the flecks of grey in his beard. His chest heaved like the beating of a combusting star as his body enjoyed the feeling of a long cock penetrating him over and over. With each thrust, his gibberish became louder. Sometimes he would moan as he was overwhelmed by the sensation. Sometimes he would swear under his breath. I had no doubt that wherever his mind was at the moment, he could feel the pleasure of letting all the good and bad decisions he had to make fade away, until he was just an empty vessel waiting to be filled with pleasure.

The echo of his moans became louder against the thick pine trees on the side of the hill. My own moans mixed with his incoherent grunts and they became indiscernible from each other as they reflected back, elongated and changed. As I tried to tell the sounds apart, the unexpected occurred. It seemed as if the pleasure of his body infected me, like I was being enveloped in warm hot radiation between the two stars in a binary star cluster, rotating around each other. I wanted nothing more than to look up also at the stars. There were so many. I could see the Milky Way this far from the city lights. I could see Venus and the North Star. I could see millions of stars that could have billions of planets. I thought of the thousands of unknown beings looking back at us. We both stared up into a wider universe as I could feel my balls tighten and my load of cum fill Murad's tight asshole. I pushed myself flush against him as I emptied all of the contents of my dick inside him. As I orgasmed, we both looked up and groaned together at the same pitch. I could tell by his voice that he could feel the twitch of my ejaculations and the warm fluid filling him. I no longer felt anger. I didn't even feel regret over what I had done. All of the plans I had made for this moment to occur seemed so utterly small and insignificant and petty as I fucked the last of my cum into his exposed, drugged body. It seemed as if he should be humiliated, but he wasn't. Humility had never been one of his strengths. In fact, I think he got off on humiliation. As the intoxication from the orgasm subsided, I leaned over and looked down at his drugged, smiling face. I looked into his dark green eyes, and I leaned in to kiss him on the mouth. The hair of our beards mingled as I kissed him deeply.

I pulled out slowly and pulled his legs off the legs of the chair. I put his pants back on and gently pushed his pelvis back into the chair. He continued to look back up the sky, lost in a distant, fanciful world, filled with cum and pleasure. I sat quietly to myself, with a clear mind. My task was done. I had won. And now, my mind didn't know what to do with itself, so I stared out along the horizon. I smiled deeply. The smile was not for victory, but genuine pleasure at the quietness and perfectness of this moment. The victory was irrelevant even after I had planned for it, for so long. I no longer felt like myself, but I felt like something larger. I wondered if this was what Murad felt when he stared at the trees alongside the Wisconsin river. Did he feel the boys' pain and their love? Did he know what it was like for a bird to fly as he studied them? For some reason, I felt even though I ended up fucking his body, he had fucked my mind in the process. Did he really get what he end up winning in his own distorted game?

As the horizon showed yellow streaks as the morning sun approached the horizon, he finally spoke. "Thank you," he said. There were no more words for explanation. I didn't understand what he meant, but it was a more reassuring phrase than others I could imagine.

"Are you going to speak to me again?" I asked Murad as his eyes rolled back to this world, returning from the intensity of the violent sex.

"I liked it," he said. "You finally took what you wanted, instead of just whining about what you didn't have." Like always, he seemed to understand much more than he let on. "It took strength to do what you did." He looked out on the horizon and the top edge of the sun was now visible. "And who isn't attracted by strength? Strength moves us all."

"What do you mean?' I said.

He rolled on to his side and rested his beard on his bicep. He was visibly exhausted by the length and intensity of the day. But his dark eyes stayed open for a little longer as the drugs wore off. "It takes strength to get what you want. You've always been strong that way." It made me happy to actually here a compliment come from his mouth. "It also takes strength to submit - to have the courage to feel pleasure, by giving your body and mind to another." He stood up and put his weary hands on my shoulder. "It takes strength to break the rules, and it takes strength to admit you've made a mistake. I made a horrible mistake and plan to remedy it."

He took my hand and lead me back into the living room where Juan was lying. His eyes were closed but he was breathing. Kasey sat diligently beside him, waiting for a sign. Murad sat on the far side of the couch by Juan's head and stroked his dark hair. "But mostly, strength is being able to admit to yourself who you are. It's being able to say that you like things that people say you shouldn't. It takes strength to admit that you dislike things that people say you should love. Nobody is the way people tell us we should be and nobody is exactly how they want to be. It takes strength to truly admit that to ourselves and when the next morning comes, be okay with that."

Murad looked down at Juan with compassion, and he stroked his thin stubble. "All of us show strength in our own way. Be strong, Juan. Be strong." His dark brown eyes fluttered open. Murad tilted his head toward Juan's mouth to check for his breath. His expression changed from regret to relief as he said, "He's awake. He's gonna make it." Kasey ran to the couch and grabbed his lover as Murad stood to let the two enjoy the touch of their embrace.

He turned toward me. He could have been bitter at this point, but he wasn't. He spoke just as a matter of fact. "You've spent your life trying to get what you want," he said. "Congratulations. You got it. The hunt for validation won't distract you any longer. Now focus on being happy." He smiled genuinely with his lazy, tired, dark green eyes.

"What if it was you that you made me happy?" I asked him. I asked being braced for rejection.

"I wouldn't make you happy," he said. His answer was sincere and to the point. His confidence that he knew me that well irritated me, but after a moment, I realized I was more angered by the fact that he was right. He was right too often.

"So... the policeman?" I asked. "You hired him?"

He smiled a half smile, followed by a partial laugh. "He is an old friend of mine. He retired off the force to become a farmer last year. I asked him before we went to the beach to..."

"Humiliate me?" I interrupted.

"No." It was almost dawn. I could see a hint of yellow light towards the southeast above the goat pasture. "To help you let yourself go."

"Don't you think I know how to find my own happiness?" I said with some accusation.

"Sure. I have full faith in you. You just got distracted by going after what you wanted to possess instead of the things that would actually make you happy." Murad said. "So go find your happiness." He laughed, not mockingly, but a laugh that contained compassion. "As a friend, I thought you needed a little kick in the ass." His teeth showed beneath his wide crooked smile, he directed at me. "You gave me a little poke in the ass as well, and I appreciate it." He rubbed his sore asshole beneath his tight jeans. "Although, probably not the way you the think. I know now I have to have the serenity to accept that there are a lot of things out there I can't control. People make their own decisions, and I can only help where I can." He stood up and looked down at the now conscious Juan. "And that is what I plan to do."

He put his thick fingers on Juan's shoulders and shook him. His bloodshot eyes opened slowly. He looked confused but filled with joy, that he was awake at all. His mile full of pure gratitude turned towards Murad, "I remember what happened," Juan said. He sighed and pulled himself weakly into a sitting position on the plush olive cushion. He leaned close to Murad's face and looked him deeply in his regretful eyes. "God saved me today. He sent you to be here to help me."

Murad laughed, but with compassion. "I was the one was responsible for you running in that forest. And you hurt your foot there. I gave you more medicine than you needed, and I sat and watched you overdose," he broke their tender stare and looked toward the oaken floor boards. "I think I'm last one you should be thanking."

"God was trying to tell me something. He still needs me for something. I need to go figure that out, but it made me appreciate the things I do have in my life." He turned and kissed Kasey on the cheek. "God is great," Juan said.

"Indeed," Murad replied. "Allah Akbar."

"Let me drive you guys home before it gets light," Murad said helping Juan to his feet, carefully holding on to his wrists to make sure he had the strength to stand.

Kasey approached and held him from behind, so that his thick cock pressed firmly against his young buttocks and his nipples held tight on his lover's back. He turned toward Murad as he leaned his stubbled cheek against Juan's neck. Through his gruff exterior he smiled. "I need to get you back somehow for saving Juan. Look, I'll give you whatever you want," Kasey said. His crudeness made me never doubt his sincerity. "You want to fuck me? I'll let you fuck me. You can fuck me as long as you want, and I'll take it as long as you want without a peep. You can do me whatever angle. I'll even beg. You can come on my beard, in my mouth, wherever you want." His tough facade showed a flash of vulnerability as he turned his perfect, muscled ass for Murad to see.

"So I get one request?" Murad asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Murad let Juan go and put his hand on Kasey's shoulder. He looked him in the eye, the same way their eyes met as they stood on both sides of the spit. Intensely. With mutual admiration and respect. "Anything, sick or fetishy or kinky as you want," Kasey said.

"As much as I'd love to fuck you for hours, my request is something even more painful," Murad said gently. He smiled both with compassion and evil pleasure. "I'm gonna buy you a tattoo. I know a good place in Madison. We can go this morning."

Kasey seemed pleased with the surprising answer. "I said whatever, and I'm not a liar. Are you going to draw a dick on my face or something with a tattoo needle?"

"Nah," Murad said still looking into his light blue eyes. "I want to buy you a tattoo of a wheel on the palm of a hand. Something to put on your lower chest. Together with the Swaztika it is a Jain symbol for non-violence."

Kasey nodded. "I don't even know what a Jain is."

Murad grabbed his leather coat from the hook by the door as the three exited out the front door of the quiet cabin. "Don't worry," I heard Murad say as he shut the door tight and walked down the sloping driveway to his small car beneath the Wisconsin trees, "Your family won't either." I could hear them through the now open window. "And if they get angry, perhaps I can set you two up in a place of your own. I have some money to spare as a doctor without children of my own."

The sun was above the horizon, and it certainly seemed like a new day. The tone of the three changed as I could hear the crunch-crunch of their footsteps on the wet gravel of the driveway. "I have a secret," Murad started on one of his long diatribes, "I'm one of those Mooslims. I bet with this new tattoo, you'll be able to fuck any Muslim you want. Well, more anyway. It helps when they aren't afraid you're going to kill them after you take your clothes off. A lot of my kind are pretty repressed, and Allah knows nobody loves getting fucked as much as those who thinks their religion disapproves."

I walked to the small fogged windows on the red front door. I saw the dust behind his tiny Geo tracker as it sped away. The tiny car had a bumper sticker on it that said simply, "Feel the Bern," with a picture of a bird beside the bold letters. I suppose I had felt many things tonight, but one thing I didn't feel was victory. I did feel however a satisfaction, that a weight had been lifted from me.

I wondered if Murad felt victory. I hoped he would be okay with two Trump-supporters in Madison. Murad's ideals always got in the way of his judgment, and he was in a red state now. Although, I had to admit that I admired the fact that Murad had genuine faith that those two had true potential in themselves. I don't think I would ever quite understand why he would choose those two over me though. It now, somehow, seemed beside the point.

I appreciated the calm and silence of being alone in my cabin, as the hum of the Geo engine faded in the distance. I sighed. I stared at the light brown bear head growling at me above the fireplace mantle. I wasn't even tired, just exhausted trying to process every emotion that had transpired that night. I continued to stare and hoped my mind would wind down enough to sleep even as the sun poked above the distant horizon. A beam of orangish light seeped through the Eastern window of the kitchen, reflecting off the white tiles of the counter top.

I realized I must have fallen asleep for some time, as I heard a firm knock on the front door. It hadn't been nearly enough time for Murad to have returned from Madison. The sun only appeared slightly above the horizon. Now alone, in the earliest hours of the morning, I covered my naked body with a couch cushion and walked cautiously to the front door. For decency, I only opened the door a crack, and the pillow covered my dick and balls. I looked up to the long straggly beard of the fake policeman, now dressed in an undershirt and jeans. He smiled down at me as a clear sign he held no ill will against me, considering our last encounter ended with him unconscious on a forest floor.

"Is anyone home?" he asked, consciously making his voice lower, trying to sound official.

"No," I said. "It's just me. Alone."

He coughed to clear his throat and said awkwardly, "I heard there had been a disturbance here. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help."

For the first time after that long day, I smiled from the feeling of complete relief, that swept across my weary body. "Indeed," I said as I opened the door completely and beckoned him to come inside. I shut the door behind him.

The pillow that covered my naked body dropped to the oaken floor with a light thud. I laughed with simple, unencumbered delight. "Indeed."