The Seat On The Far Corner Of The P

In the southern part of Delhi, about twenty KM away from Connaught Place, there is a medium sized township which was built about twenty five years ago. This township has a central park, like any other township of its size and stature. There are lawns, small flower plants, pathways and of course some benches, where citizens can take rest after a long walk around the park. In the eastern far corner of the park, there is a wooden bench which is reserved, by some unwritten law, for older folks, where normally the younger people do not sit. This has been the norm for years, since the park and the township came into existence.

There on the far corner of the bench every weekend evening, a gentleman in his mid-forties would come and sit there for about an hour till the dusk set in. Then almost reluctantly he would rise and head towards his home. Nobody knew where he lived. It did not matter if it was summer or winter, spring or rain. Wearing appropriate clothes for the weather, he would be there, as if he was waiting for someone.

Initially, the boys playing in the park with natural curiosity would enquire among themselves about the person, but nobody really knew anything about him. In the course of time, the boys became young men and the toddlers turned into boys and started to play in the park, but one thing never changed, the seat in the park's far corner end of the bench, the man would be seated in the weekends till it was dark. Once in a while if any one asked him anything, he would not give any reply, but an empty smile, devoid of any excitement. The curious person would lose his patience, and would leave the middle aged man alone to his solitude. The man was Mr. Ramesh Ahuja and he was a patient man.

Forty five year old Ramesh Ahuja was a Journalism graduate and associated with a renowned national Daily as a journalist. He was a defence analyst and wrote columns on defence matters in the newspaper, where he was associated with. Ramesh was brought up in Delhi and his father owned a wholesale business on FMCG in the south of Delhi. They had a house in Lajpat Nagar which was quite big and a separate portion of the house was let out, as they were only a three member family. The rented portion was occupied by a professor of a local college. Prof. Sood had two daughters. Namrata was the younger of the two siblings. Arpita, the other girl was older than Namrata by five years.

It is said that proximity brings attraction, which came true for Ramesh and Namrata. When Ramesh was of twenty years and studying Journalism, she was eighteen and had completed her twelfth standard examination in Arts. The two had adequate opportunity to meet and talk to one another. By natural affinity, they gradually got attracted to each other and by the time Ramesh had completed his journalism degree, they had decided to get married once Ramesh got settled in a job and Namrata completed her post graduation.

Come late eighties, Rajeev Gandhi and Jayawardene of Sri Lanka made a historic peace accord and the Indian Army in the form of Indian Peace Keeping Force landed in Sri Lanka to solve out the issue of ethnic clashes in Sri Lanka. Mostly, people of Tamil origin lived in this northern part of Sri Lanka.

In 1987, our Ramesh was a young man of twenty two years, having completed a good Journalism degree and upon being inducted by a national Daily, left for Sri Lanka to cover the IPKF actions in Sri Lanka.

Those were the days when people used to go to the STD booth, formed a queue and waited their turn to speak to their loved ones. Through this system, Ramesh kept in touch with Namrata. They used to talk sweet nothings to each other once in every fifteen days. Prof. Sood had a land line phone at his residence. So Namrata had no difficulty in attending calls of Ramesh. Her parents and sister were aware and indulgent of the affair, the two were having and they had happily accepted. So Namrata could get her desired privacy while talking to Ramesh.

In the intervening years, Arpita had got married to a Lawyer in Kanpur and she went away to her husband's home at Kanpur. During the period Ramesh was at Sri Lanka, Arpita got pregnant, and as the delivery date came near, the parents of Arpita discussed with Arpita's in laws to get Arpita shifted to Delhi for the delivery. But as there was a reputed nursing home at Kanpur nearby their home, it was decided by the seniors that Arpita would deliver at Kanpur, however either Namrata or her mother would go to Kanpur during that period to take care of her personal needs.

Namrata kept Ramesh informed of all the developments around home and Ramesh also in turn fed her with all the detailed descriptions of some of the journalistic adventures he had performed. Namrata was not very enthusiastic of the escapades that Ramesh used to describe and she kept on reminding him to be cautious in his movement and his activities there.

Ramesh was posted in the capital city of the Northern Province of Sri Lanka called Jaffna. IPKF had gained control of the city for some time in 1987, but Tamil Eelam regained control of the city again in 1989. During the whole period, sporadic violence was the routine of the day. In this scenario Ramesh continued to work. He enjoyed his work, reporting the day's or week's events to his headquarters by FAX.

Once, Ramesh got some input from reliable sources about the impending attack of Jaffna hospital by Indian soldiers for catching some suspected militants. To cover the scoop, he reached the hospital on 21st of October, 1987 so that he could forward an eye witness account of the clash. The news was true as he realized that canon shelling started from the nearby Jaffna fort and Indian Army entered and took position in the hospital premises and after some time started firing. He did not know how long the firings lasted, but later it was reported that IPKF had killed about 70 patients, nurses, doctors and other staff members. Indian army later claimed that these people were killed in a cross fire between the soldiers and the rebels.

While shooting some still photographs, Ramesh got suddenly hit in the groin by a sniper and he became unconscious. Ramesh did not know if the bullet was from an IPKF soldier or an LTTE, but a bullet usually does not discriminate on its target. Ramesh would have definitely died unattended, but was extremely fortunate that some army personnel recognized him to be an Indian journalist from his identity card and was immediately rushed to Military Hospital, Army Headquarters, Colombo by Military transport.

In a comatose state, he was brought into the hospital and he remained in the same state for about a month. Then he gained consciousness sporadically to again go into comma and it continued for two more months. His parents were informed by the Newspaper management about the mishap. When Ramesh's parents wanted to visit him at Colombo, they were advised by all of their well wishers not to do so, since he was under military care and they were getting his health update regularly. They were told to be patient and wait. After about six months when he was fit, he got discharged from the hospital. The groin injury did an irreparable damage to his body, which he did not realize at that time. Only after a few days he found that he had lost his manhood.

In the mean time, in Delhi, Prof Sood, who had earlier booked a flat, received the allotment letter with advice for immediate possession. Arpita's delivery was also imminent and this put the Sood family in dilemma how to execute both the activities of baby's delivery and house shifting concurrently. It was finally decided that Namrata would go to Kanpur to look after her elder sister and the parents would carry out shifting to their new flat.

During Arpita's delivery, complications arose due to excessive bleeding and blood transfusion was required to be administered to save the patient. Arpita's blood group happened to be (AB-) and no other relative was having blood of the same group, except for Namrata. She happily agreed to donate blood to give blood to her sister, which was to be done in the nursing home's blood bank.

Those were the days when the disposable syringes were not yet popular and intravenous injection used to be applied by common glass syringes kept in the hospital. In India, there are some people who sell their blood regularly to meet their drugs expenses. The blood banks are helpless to stop taking blood from these professional donors, since there is a huge demand for blood for the patients. Hepatitis, STD, and other deadly diseases get transmitted through this process. In the early nineties, Human Immuno Deficiency Virus (HIV) which also spreads through transmission of body fluid, was gradually gaining public attention, but nobody gave much thought about HIV or AIDS. By cruelty of fate, this innocent unmarried girl unknowingly got infected with HIV during the blood transfusion.

After Namrata returned from Kanpur to Delhi, once she got infected with cold, cough and high fever. In the blood test report her ESR value showed alarmingly high, so her father decided to consult AIIMS specialists. After a routine test there, they again took samples of her blood and after a considerable delay and many follow up visits to the evading specialists, Sood family finally came to know about the misfortune. Nothing could be done about the HIV infection of Namrata, The parents lost all hope and quietly retreated to their cocoon, their new flat and started living like recluses with suppressed grief. Arpita later came to know of the infection of Namrata. She got alarmed and immediately went for HIV test. Fortunately she had escaped infection. The donor got infected, but the recipient got spared by the fate.

Namrata knew the effects of HIV infection and its associated curse. The love affair that had developed with Ramesh over the years would have to be truncated by all means, she decided. It was good that their family had shifted to this new flat in a new area, where nobody knew them. She felt relieved for the fact that now she could avoid meeting Ramesh. Probably in the course of time, Rameesh would surely lose patience and marry some other girl. God wanted that way, so be it.

By the time Ramesh returned to India, he became a mini celebrity among his colleagues, but a void engulfed his life. He was now greatly relieved to find that Namrata's family had left from this place. However his ignorant parents were perplexed at his lack of eagerness about Namrata, but thought it wise to leave him alone. In the mean time, Ramesh kept on consulting various medical specialists in this field, irrespective of various opinions, no treatment could revive his virility.

With professional success Ramesh was happy, but the peace of mind was not there. Although initially he was relieved, not to have to meet Namrata, but gradually it came into his mind that he should not escape from the reality and should explain his condition to Namrata. After that Namrata was free to get on with her life separately. On his part, an explanation to Namrata was called for and he must do this for their love.

With this singular objective, Ramesh started to search for Namrata. He now realized that he knew precious little about Namrata or her family. Ultimately, he contacted the college where her father taught and there he came to know that Mr. Sood had resigned and had not furnished any forwarding address. The clerk could only tell him the township where they had moved

As time passed by, Ramesh got more and more frustrated. He identified the township started to sit in the park with the hope that some day he would meet Namrata there. The frustration gradually transformed into an infatuation and it became his routine to go to the park and wait for his fiancée. And time passed by.

Professionally, Ramesh got more and more success. Kargil, Gaza, Nigeria, Somalia or wherever there was a conflict, he would be there to cover the issue. But he could not cover the empty feeling of his heart. The bench was being kept warm on all weathers. And then something happened.

On a December foggy evening, while sitting in the bench suddenly his heart skipped a beat, when he thought, he saw Namrata coming near to him. He immediately got alerted and again looked carefully at the approaching figure. No, it was not Namrata, but it was her elder sister Arpita. Slowly she came and sat beside Ramesh. For some time she remained quiet and then she started speaking haltingly.

"Hello, Ramesh. We all know that you come here every weekend. Through our flat's window Namrata used to see you, whenever you would come and sit in the bench. Actually she was very ill and you were the only thing that she looked forward to, week after week" she told Ramesh.

Ramesh looked at Arpita questioningly.

Arpita started speaking "We knew what went through your mind. We were jeopardizing your future by not meeting you and divulging the facts before you. But our love for poor Namrata compelled us not to tell you the facts, so that you keep on coming here".

She sighed and added, "Today morning she has died of pneumonia, the façade is over, so you do not have to come for her any more"

The she slowly added, "She was not woman enough to marry you. She had infected HIV sometime back during my baby's delivery at the time of blood transfusion".

Ramesh remained unmoved and silent for a couple of minutes. Then he told her, "You all have done a great service to me, Arpita. She was afraid that she was not woman enough to marry me, while all the years, I died a thousand deaths, on how to tell her that, I was not man enough to marry her. I should thank you for this, goodbye".

Nobody ever saw the once familiar figure of Ramesh Ahuja, seated in the corner of the bench in the park any more.