The Second Man

Keep up the awesome work

I make no assumptions as to why you write, but I assume you post in order to share your work and elicit some reaction and emotion in your readers. Well, you succeeded, in my case so admirably that I commented. And since your own response seemed to invite further discussion, I continued it after a genuine effort at understanding.

Beyond that, I really don't see where "morality police" and "trying to impose one's views" come into it (and certainly I'm not the one who appears not to allow the tag "rape" on this site). However, if you perceive my comments to be offensive, or a personal attack, or an effort to impose my views on you or anyone else, please feel free to erase them. I'm sure both of us will continue to live long, productive, happy lives, despite our disagreement on this issue.

It's fiction, and it uses reality as an element to develop a theme. Encountering the moralty police on a porn story site doesn't really resonate with me much. I write clear across the thematic spectrum, I don't apologize for doing so, and the whole reason I got into writing erotic was not to be bound by the limits readers set for what I write based on judgments they try to impose on others. I'm sorry you were offended by this story--but I really consider that to be your problem, not mine.

So, given that I've enjoyed and given five and four stars to a number of your stories (though I realize now that they must have been your "less subtle and complex" ones), I read your comment on what I was supposed to have understood from the story, then read the story again. And even after all the explanations, my objection remains.

I get that Danny wants the danger. Believe it or not I got that the first time around, as well. I also get that there are many ways to react to any violent act, the most basic of which is to simply give the assailant everything they want and, through that, not only survive but also gain some control, though I would quibble with your later distinction between physical, emotional and mental rapes, because I sometimes think words are used a little too easily. However, the fact remains that, as you have written it, the larger part of the story is about an act of violence and about Danny enjoying it so much that he wants to be attacked by the SAME man again and places himself in a position that this can happen. Any way you look at it, it's not exactly a healthy reaction to assault.

As to finding the rape more objectionable than the murder, it's exactly because of the treatment of the two events. At least nobody gets his rocks off on the murder, except possibly for Copely.

In any case, thank you for taking the time to present further background and I regret remaining too simple to grasp and appreciate your subtle and complex artistic vision in this case.

Well, I quite understand how difficult it is to read commercial fiction if you never got beyond high school English. I certainly wouldn't strain myself with trying to read any more of my stories, if I were you. I doubt that you are up to the intellectual challenge. *smile*

If your story had anything worthwhile to it, I would have read more. I read the comments and truly, you need an editor to go over yours. Do you understand what syntax is? Look it up and try doing it. Your sentence structure is atrocious, for someone who has as many stories as you do. I'll go with my thoughts and say you believe in quantity, over quality and a 1 is too high a score for this. Just poor writing overall.

I don’t usually respond to story comments, but. . . . If you read this story and can only see a rape, then you probably need to give my stories a pass and move on to the less subtle and complex ones by some other authors. (But interesting it would be the rape that raised an objection. There is murder in this one too. Rape is more objectionable than murder?) The rape isn’t the point of the story; it’s used as a shock device to bring climax to the dilemma the protagonist, Danny, was working on. And though a physical rape, thinking it also was a mental or emotional rape would be to have missed the story’s intent/message. Yes, Danny has a pretty good job. He’s experimenting with men fucking him in his life, though—looking to get a high off that. That he has a job too was intended as a signal that he isn’t experimenting with male prostitution to escape poverty. It’s a signal that he’s experimenting with and testing the limits of his sexual wants--and that an element of danger figures into his wants. That he takes money for it is a signal that he’s still struggling with why he likes being fucked by men—in this case, he thinks, perhaps it’s because they’ll pay for it. The rape encounter accelerates what he’s already experimenting with—and zips the danger and sexuality that he’s toying with to an apex. It’s no accident that he runs the same route again after the rape—the danger and sensuality of what the assailant has given him fulfills what he’s been shooting for. He wants that sort of coupling again—it’s the biggest high he’s gotten from sex yet. The danger is greater than he realizes, though. It could kill him. The detective is injected as a safer alternative, albeit still with the elements of danger that have attracted Danny. Yes, the story could go on and the aspect of “what does Danny want?” could be explored with a relationship with the detective (with signaling having been given that this would be a safer, less selfish relationship). That would (and might) be a different story arc and a different lesson for Danny to learn. But it’s for a separate story.

I think maybe the point was missed in this story. I think the sorry was more about discovering something about yourself sexually that you never knew you'd enjoy. The fucked up part was he had to get raped to learn it. I think he was just shocked by what happened and too turned on to give a Fuck about being violated. The cop i got the feeling he kinda wanted more than a paid Fuck. I think he cared about him. And as far as him having a reg job in addition to turning tricks, i think he prob just needed our wanted the extra money. Like stripping on the side.

I'd actually be interested in seeing these characters again. If he has a gig at an ad agency, why is he turning tricks on the side? Reasons could be financial or psychological. And what happens with the cop, who turned kinda dark there at the end? I mean, dude was just raped and he's calling in his fuck marker? He went from considerate (let's get you cleaned up, we'll try to keep you out of court) to cold (I gave you 50 bucks, so prepare to put out). You left yourself plenty to work with, if you chose to revisit.

Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? This story goes way beyond the titillation of nonconsent or reluctance. It's an assault-and-rape story, made sicker by the fact that the victim (who for some reason is portrayed as a part-time prostitute - I guess it's alright then?) enjoys it.