The Secret is Out Ch. 01

This story is not based off a true story. It is about a crossdresser who chooses to go to a conservative christian college only to be found out by their roommate. The story is a bit slow going at first but is necessary to set up the remaining chapters that are to come.

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My name is Kelsey. Well, actually the name I was born with is Kevin but that doesn't really matter a whole not now. Every time I hear that name I cringe inside. It brings up every memory of how I came to be, every ounce of pain I struggled through, and every sleepless night spent worrying myself to death. It is kind of funny to look back at everything now and see how blind I was.

My story began in the most boring way possible in college. My high school years had been four long years of angst, drama, and sexual tension. No matter how hard I tried back then, I never seemed to fit in. I was just an awkward, skinny enigma that no one could ever figure out, including myself. Most high schoolers fall into different stereotypes like the jocks, the preps, the goths, or the nerds. I was something completely different though. I was a mix of jock, nerd, emo, and churchgoer so for me college was the place I was going to reinvent myself.

I decided that the place I would reinvent myself at would be a small, conservative Christian school in the middle of nowhere. The school was surrounded by a town that's better years were long gone. Wal-mart was the place to shop and hang out while Applebee's was the only "date" spot in town. Needless to say, I picked a winner of a school. Every freshman that came to this school had to sign a document of purity. No drinking, no smoking, no rated R movies, no rated M video games, and no sex.

Those were all reasons why I had actually picked the school. I wanted to get away from the filth that I dealt with in my high school. The idea of sex outside of marriage, drugs, or alcohol filled me with disgust. My family had raised me to be pure, abstinate, and drug free. Of course, that's what every God-fearing Christian family taught their children because otherwise they would burn in Hell for all eternity. As far as my family was concerned, I was a virgin that had never done anything wrong or sinful and they were right...for the most part.

I had a secret that I never told anyone. No one ever found out or caught me either. It was a secret that I feared would get me tossed out of my house in a heartbeat. It was a secret that I had been carrying with me since I was ten years old too. I was a crossdresser.

For years, I had been sneaking into my mom's closet and wearing her clothes whenever she wasn't home. It was a strange feeling whenever I did because I didn't feel arousal or any sort of excitement. What I felt was comfort and peace. Moving into my dorm that first year though was the complete opposite of peace though. I worried for weeks before move-in day about how I would be able to get away with my secret at school. I tried to think of different ways I could somehow bring some clothes with me to wear whenever I was alone and eventually settled on stashing some in a small foot locker.

All of my worry culminated on move-in day when I met my roommate for the first time. His name was Josh and next to him I felt like an ant. Josh was about six inches taller than me and built like a middle linebacker. The first time I saw him he was just getting out of the shower and only had a small towel wrapped around his waist. He had perfectly bronzed skin that was amplified by solid muscle. I had never seen a guy my age that looked so perfect. It was as if a Greek statue lived with me.

"Oh hey, you must be my roommate Kevin. I'm Josh." he reached out with one hand while the other held up his towel. I found myself staring at him, unable to look away until I realized that he was starting to give me a strange look.

"Kevin? You ok?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, it was a long drive." I shook his hand quickly. I began chastising myself immediately. Here I was meeting my roommate for the first time I was staring at him. The weirdest part about it all was that I had never once looked at a guy like that before. I shook the whole situation out of my head and moved on.

Josh showed me the room. One side of the room was filled with posters of bands, sarcastic pictures, and a calendar with cheerleaders modeling for each month. Apparently, he had moved in a few days earlier because of baseball. As I began to unpack and fill the empty side of the room he told me that he was a catcher and that he came here on scholarship. It wasn't his first choice but he had gotten hurt during his senior year of high school and this was the only school that gave him any money to play.

Eventually, while he was talking, he had started to help me unpack. He had just finished filling up the mini-fridge I had brought when he went to open the foot locker. My heart rate spiked through the roof and I immediately dropped the shirts I was hanging up.

"Don't open that, I got it!"

Josh jumped at my reaction and backed away with his hands raised. I pushed the foot locker under my bed trying not think about what would have happened had he actually opened it. My mind was racing through every scenario and none of them were good. Had he opened it he would've found a dozen pairs of panties, a couple bras, a few dresses, and a couple pairs of high heels.

As I was trying to hide my embarrassment, he said something about having to go. He told me that he probably wouldn't be around the dorm much besides to sleep the first few weeks because they had practice all the time. When I turned around to acknowledge him he was walking out the door. A wave of relief washed over me instantly. It wasn't until a few days later when things became interesting.

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We both settled into college life. Classes during the day for me and then afterwards Josh would head to baseball for three to four hours each night. I wasn't the most outgoing person so I didn't spend a whole lot of time trying to meet anyone else in the dorm. Besides, I wanted to use the little time I had by myself to dress up.

Almost every day when he left for practice I would go through my transformation. I would spend the next couple hours studying and finish up homework dressed up. Every night when I knew he would be coming back soon I would get undressed and put everything back in the locker safely and tuck it under the bed again. Until one night when I got sloppy.

I had been going through my normal routine when a classmate texted saying that they wanted to go and grab something to eat and wanted me to join. I didn't have as much to do that night so I got undressed and went to go and meet up with them. I didn't really pack the locker like I normally would because I figured that I would go out and be back before Josh returned. When I left, the locker was partially exposed from under my bed with a pair of white and pink striped panties hanging out. That little mistake would end up changing my life forever.

When I came back to the dorm I was surprised to find Josh sitting at his desk studying. I had completely forgotten about my locker while I was out and thought nothing of it. I figured I had already put everything away like I normally did. Josh finished reading whatever it was he was reading and then turned to face me.

"Hey Kevin, how's it going?"

There was something about his look that instantly made me freeze up. He had a mischievous grin on his face as he got up and walked over to me. He patted me on the back as he went past me and locked the door. Fear started to coarse through my veins as he walked back over to me and leaned against the wall.

"So is there something that you want to tell me Kevin?"

"Um...no? I'm all good."

He crossed his arms as he looked me up and down, the strange grin never once leaving his face. Then he stared at me. It was if he was staring into my soul. Nervously, I started to scratch my arm and looked away. As I did, he let out a devious chuckle. He went over to my bed and pulled out the locker. I reached out to try to stop him only to get pushed away as if I was nothing. He dumped out all of the locker's contents on the floor and I shrank away, wrapping my arms around me. My life was ruined.

"I got back from practice today and I saw something sticking out of your little box here." he reached into his pocket as he spoke and pulled out the pair of panties that were my downfall. He twirled them around his finger as he looked over at me. I couldn't even look up at him. I didn't know what to say. Here my secret that I had kept hidden for the majority of my life was discovered. He didn't even need to ask if they were mine because as he looked at me tears began to slowly fall out of my eyes.

"Now I know why you were so protective of this box you little sissy. So this is what you do whenever I'm not in the room? Get all dressed up and prance around for fun?

Without looking up, I nodded in acknowledgement. He responded with a laugh that made me jump. It sounded as if it was a mix of evil and happiness. Then, I felt the panties hit my face and fall to the floor.

"Well you going to get dressed up for me? Or am I going to have to go and grab the RA and let him know that I'm living with a faggot?"

I started to protest and plead my case only to feel his hand smacking against my cheek.

"You're going to put those panties on now." as he snapped he reached down onto the ground and grabbed a bra. "This as well. I want to see how my new girl looks when she's in her underwear."

I wiped away a few tears and sniffled as I slowly got undressed. I tried to turn away when I dropped my briefs only to have him pull me back. My hands instantly covered my crotch once it was exposed. Josh didn't like that and yanked my hands away leaving my small three inch cock dangling there.

"Now put your real underwear on and make sure you tuck away that clit."

I nodded while sliding on my panties. As I did, I heard him mumble something through laughter about how he can't even call what I have a real cock. I wiped a few more tears away as I continued to follow instructions and put the bra on too. Once I was dressed, Josh smiled at me.

"See? Isn't it better this way Kevin? Hmmm, that won't do. Kelsey, that's who you are now."

Josh pulled me in close to him then and brushed my long, auburn hair away from my eyes as well as a few tears. I was mortified. Here no one had ever known about my secret and now I was in his arms dressed up. What happened next I could never have expected. One minute he was making fun of me and then the next our lips were locked. I tried to pull away but he was too strong and held me close as he forcefully kissed me.

He smiled as he broke the kiss. I immediately looked away and coughed. I had just kissed another man for the first time and not by choice. I reached up to try and wipe my mouth only to have him grab me by the wrist.

"Don't you even think about it, Kelsey. You're a girl and girls like guys."

Josh took my hand and pressed it against his chest. I could feel his muscle under my fingers as he slowly dragged my hand down to his pants.. I tried to pull away again not wanting anything to do with any of this. All the sudden I was gasping in pain as he twisted my wrist.

"Try to resist again and I will break your wrist. Clear?" I nodded through tears. "Good."

He let my wrist go back to normal and then guided it down into the waist of his sweatpants. I cringed as I felt my fingers being forced inside of his pants. Then my fingertips touched something round and hard. I began to throw up in my mouth but held it in because I didn't want to piss him off anymore. He just smirked as he closed my hand around his cock.

"That's what you want isn't it?"

I shook my head no. It was not at all what I wanted. I wanted none of this. I kept praying that this was a dream and that I would wake up. Another smack to my cheek told me it wasn't a dream. I fell to the floor as he smacked me again. I looked up at him as I rubbed my cheek with more tears coming out.

"You don't get it until you beg for it. Understood? From now on you sleep in those and whenever you're in here with me you dress up you got it?" I shook my head in acknowledgement only to have him kick me in the stomach. I gasped for air as I grabbed onto my stomach.

"Answer me when I talk to you."

"I...I...got it."

"Good."

Josh bent down and squatted over me then. He grabbed my cheeks and forced me to look at him. I could still see his evil grin through my watery eyes.

"You will beg for my cock or else I will continue to make you hurt. Tonight is your warning."

That night I cried myself to sleep quietly while wearing my bra and panties. I dreaded what was to come. I dreaded the thought of more pain but the idea of begging for a man's cock was worse. I was trapped and I prayed that daylight would never come again.