The Secret of Anthony Albrecht

I was saved from being close to him at dinner, he was dining with her. One part of me was sad while the other part was jealous of her. Later, much later, I was having my usual dream of being with him, married to him. My hand was between my legs and my finger was inside me, when there was a tap on my door. "Madeline, are you awake?" He whispered.

I scrambled out of bed and opened the door. "What is it? What do you want?"

"I want you, I want to be with you. Can I come in?" I let him into my room, into my bed and into my life. He took me in his arms and kissed me.

"I don't know what to do, while I'm with her I can't stop thinking of you, and what it would be like to be married to you, and when I'm not with her I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with you. I just can't stop thinking about you. Madeline, I love you." He kissed me again. I melted into his arms, my body quivering with excitement, could this still be my dream, or was it real? Turned my face to his and kissed him, tears of joy running down my cheeks. I was in heaven. He lifted me and carried me to my bed. I watched as he took his clothes off and stood before me, his magnificent penis standing proudly out from his body. I opened my arms to him and my vagina to his penis.

"Are you feeling unwell?" Cook asked as I walked into the kitchen in the morning.

"I'm fine, I just didn't sleep well that's all." If only she knew that I hardly slept at all. I noticed her looking at me during breakfast as I tried to avoid looking at him as I served him.

"What are you doing my girl?" She said as we washed the dishes. "I've warned you about what would happen to you if you went down that path. No good will come of this, you mark my words, do you hear me?"

"Yes I hear you, but he's told me that he loves me and wants to marry me."

"Of course he told you that, he knows that you wouldn't allow him to take liberties unless you thought that he would marry you. Have you let him make love to you?"

"Yes." I whispered. I was beginning to have doubts about him.

"Silly girl. You must stop it before it goes too far, and your life is ruined completely."

"What do you mean, before it goes too far?"

"Before you are with child, you do take precautions I hope."

"Precautions?"

"Oh my god. Don't tell me you've let him go all the way without wearing a condom?"

"A condom, what's that?"

"Saints preserve us, now you sit there and listen to me. You never let a man make love to you without some form of protection against you falling pregnant, not even if he promises to pull out before he ejaculates. If you fall pregnant you will not only lose your job here, but your reputation will be stained for life. You will probably end up working as a prostitute, selling your body to men, and all because you let him make love to you without protection. I hope that you're not expecting him to look after you if you do get pregnant, he has his reputation to consider and his life with the girl chosen for him. His family will turn him out without a penny to his name, and then how could he support you. End it now before it's too late."

"I will." Even I wasn't convinced with my statement.

It was already too late, while he managed to pull out in time from then on, the damage had already been done. "Don't." I told him as he prepared to make love to me.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm pregnant, I'm having your child."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean, am I sure?"

"Are you sure that you're pregnant?"

"Yes. What else could you mean? You're not suggesting that someone else could be the father are you?"

"No, I didn't mean that at all. But my dear, this news is great."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course, now they'll have to let me marry you."

"Do you really mean that? You're not just saying that are you?"

"No. I never really wanted to marry her in the first place, but I was told that I had to. Now she won't want to marry me knowing that I love someone else, and that someone else is carrying my child. Don't you see, this is the best day of my life?"

"What happened after that was a life of pain and misery. Don't get me wrong, I was living in bliss right up until he announced the news to his family, and they were not happy at all. I was taken aside and questioned in great detail about how this came to be. "What do you mean by seducing our son?"

"But I didn't, it was the other way round, he seduced me."

"Don't try to shift the blame, we know that he would never do that, he's engaged to be married, do you honestly he'd risk that by having sex with you, a servant in this house. This will never do Madeline, you are to stop this immediately if you know what is good for you, and don't expect that we will support you, you will leave here when you begin to show and you will be placed in a home for unwed mothers. We have spoken to your parents about this and they have agreed that this is the best solution. We have told them that we will make sure that they are not placed under any financial burden because of your promiscuous behaviour. We will find another position for you when the time comes, but you will never work here again, you will never be permitted in this house ever again, once you leave here. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am." I didn't understand, I couldn't understand how they could not see that it wasn't only me that was responsible for my condition, and how they could so coldly push me aside like this. I understood how my parents felt, they had entrusted me into the care of these people because they were poor, my father was in poor health because of his work with asbestos, and was not expected to live for much longer. He had received no compensation from his employers over this, and had no form of income other than a pittance from the government. They could barely survive without me being a financial burden on them, so I was put to work as a maid, about the best job that I could expect given my limited schooling. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't stupid by any means, I was good at school and my teachers were sad that I had to leave when I did.

Cook was wonderful, she was almost a mother to me in my time of trouble. "Don't worry about what they say to you." She told me after I'd been scolded for some minor incident that would not have rated a mention before this. "They just can't come to terms with him not wanting to marry that bitch."

"Cook, don't let them hear you talking about her like that."

"Why ever not, she is a bitch, I've heard the way that she talks to you, and you have to take it and say nothing. God help any servant that she employs, she'd make life a misery for them."

"But you still shouldn't talk about her like that, we have to know our station in life, and part of that is to have to accept whatever is spoken to us, whether we are at fault or not."

"But we have had it easy up until now. I don't like the way that the Mistress is treating you, from the way she speaks to you you'd think that he had no say in you being pregnant, but my girl, you can't get pregnant on your own, not unless you're the Holy Mother that is."

"He loves me still, I know that he does, it's just that he has no say in his future. I feel sorry for him having to marry her, and I know that he could never be happy with her."

"And he would with you, is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Yes he would, I know that he would."

"He might for a short time, but if they cut him off without a penny as they've told him, there will come a time when the fact that you have nothing will force you apart, he will be thinking of what he has had to give up because of his love for you, and that will drive you a part."

"No it won't, our love is strong enough to withstand anything like that."

"Listen to me, and I speak from experience, my mother was in a similar situation to what you're in right now, and he ran off with her. It lasted for just on two years before a combination of no money and my illness costing what little we had, before he left her to return to his family. That is why I found myself in service, and my mother has blamed me for that all my life. She died miserable, poor and friendless, and I don't want to do that. I have friends that I go and see whenever I can get the time off, I have a man-friend that I see on a regular basis and he and I have sex without there being any thought that it would become a permanent thing, he's married and won't leave his wife."

"How is it that I never knew that?"

"I can keep my secrets you know, and no-one is interested in my life other than me, and him."

"Are you trying to tell me that I should accept what has been planned for me and find a suitable man-friend that I can visit occasionally?"

"You could do worse my girl, I'm happy enough."

"But I don't think that a life like that would ever make me happy."

"Happiness is a state of mind, if you shoot for the stars nothing will make you happy, because you will never be able to reach the stars. Aim low and be content with what you get from life."

"And that was how I met your father." She said. "I was happier than I had any right to be, and thought that this would be the beginning of a life of true happiness."

But life for him became a nightmare. "How could you even think that we'd allow you to marry this girl?"

"But I love her." He said.

"You only think that you love her because she has allowed you to make love to her. She is a servant for God's sake, what would our friends say to that? You will give up this foolish idea and go ahead with your marriage to Phoebe as planned."

"That's your plan, did I get any say in this? No! I was told that I was to marry that cold loveless bitch because it was beneficial to both you and her parents. Love and affection has had nothing to do with this, I don't love her, and I know that I'll never love her."

"You will forget this foolishness immediately! We will not hear another word on the subject, is that understood?"

"Yes."

That particular argument, with minor variations, took place over the next few months until, one day Madeline was no longer in their employ.

"Where's Madeline?"

"She's gone. We have decided that it wouldn't be right to have her working in this house when she's approaching the stage when her pregnancy is obvious. She has gone away and she won't be coming back."

"I'll find her."

"We forbid you to find her! Put her out of your life forever. You're getting married in a month and that will be an end to it."

-*-

"I was sent to a home for unmarried mothers to await the birth of my child, you, and I was confused, how could a child conceived of love be subjected to so much hate. The nuns treated me like a whore, I was loaded up with guilt over my actions in getting pregnant, and it was made clear that the guilt was mine. I was pregnant because I allowed my lustful feelings overcome me and it was my fault that he had sex with me, I allowed it, but he had nothing to do with it. As a penance I was made to work in the home, cleaning and cooking for the nuns, right up until you were born. Then, and without even asking me what I wanted to do, you were taken from me and put up for adoption. I never even got to hold you, or feed you. My breasts were strapped up so that I would dry up quickly, and when I had recovered from the birth I was placed in a new position with another family."

"I can't believe that sort of thing was still happening, it wasn't all that long ago."

"It was just before the home was shut down, more and more girls were electing to keep their babies and raise them themselves, so the land that the home was on was worth more as a development site than as a home, and it was sold off."

"Did he support you in any way?"

"I think the family paid for my expenses at the home, but that was as far as it went."

"Apart from wanting to meet you, I have another reason for speaking with you, I'm getting married shortly to the most amazing woman, and her family is insisting on a medical examination before they give us their consent, so I was hoping that you could tell me who my father is. My Birth Certificate doesn't list my father at all."

"I promised that I would never reveal his name to anyone."

"But it was so long ago, he could be dead for all you know, and I'm not interested for monetary reasons, because I have a very good family who are wealthy, and I work for my father's company, in fact I'm the boss. Please, won't tell me his name?"

"I guess that there's no harm in telling you. His name is . . . . ."

-*-

"Brianna, could you come to my office please." I put down the phone and waited for her. To say that my mind was in a turmoil would be underselling the situation. I had lain awake all night, my thoughts going over and over in my brain until, in the early hours of the morning, I made my decision.

"What is it Darling?" Brianna came in and sat down. "You look terrible, didn't you sleep last night? Surely you're not worried about the result of the medical."

"Brianna, Darling . . . . this is hard for me . . . . what I'm going to run past you is going to sound weird, but, believe me, I've given it a great deal of thought. You know that I love you very much, and I'd do anything for you, but I'm going to have to tell you that we cannot have children. What I mean to say, I cannot father a child with you."

"Does that mean that you can't father a child?"

"No, I'm perfectly capable of fathering a child, but not with you. As I see it we have three options, the first is that we don't have any children."

"But I want children, maybe not right away, but eventually."

"I didn't mean that we can't have children. The second option is the use of a sperm donor, the third is a surrogate, both of these I can accept if we decide to go down that path. Actually there is a fourth option, and that is that we can adopt a child."

"Now I'm totally confused. Tell me, why can't we have a child together, you love me and we have a very healthy sex life, so what is the problem?"

"I know that we love each other in all senses of the word, and I would love to see that continue, but there is a problem. God, how am I going to explain this without making a total mess of it . . . . . .? Here goes. Darling, I am an adopted child. My parents couldn't have children so they adopted me."

"I can't see that's a problem and I'm sure that my parents won't either, they're not total snobs you know."

"I know that. It's just that I decided when your father asked me to have a medical that I should try to find my birth parents, and I have met one at least, my birth mother."

"And?"

"Oh she's a perfectly lovely woman and I'm sure that you'd like her, just as I'm sure that she'd love you, in fact I want you to meet her. She's not the problem, it's my birth father that's the problem, you see he's the reason that we can't have children together."

"Why? What has he got to do with it?" I saw her face fall and the colour drain from it. "You don't, you can't mean, that . . .?"

"I'm afraid so, my father is your father and vice versa. My mother was a maid working for your grand-parents, and she and your father fell in love and she had me. She was placed in one of those dreadful homes for unwed mothers, and I was taken from her immediately after birth and placed up for adoption. Luckily for me the Albrechts were looking to adopt, I couldn't have chosen better parents if I'd tried. Mother never went back to work there, you grand-parents found a place for her with some friends, and that should have been the end of it."

"Do you mean there's more?"

"Yes, but I promised not to say anything for now. There is one other little problem. Do you realise that we've been committing incest by making love to each other. What I'm going to suggest now may shock you."

"And I haven't been shocked enough already?"

"I love you too much to have you taken from me by some stupid law that doesn't consider the circumstances of how we met or our feelings for each other. My proposal is that we continue on as if none of this has happened, as if I never found out who my real father was, we get married and continue to make love. I'm even prepared to, just so there's no likelihood of us having a child, have a vasectomy."

Brianna sat there in a state of shock. There was the potential for her world of future happiness to stop right here, right now. "I too love you very much and can understand you wanting to continue our relationship, because I want that as well. But how can we keep this a secret from our families?"

"I have a plan."

"Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess what it is?"

"I am going to ask you to be patient for a little while." I took her in my arms and kissed her. She didn't even try to pull back from me so I knew that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. "To avoid any comment from friends and work colleagues, I think that we should continue as if nothing has happened, at least for now."

She kissed me. "Forget about for now, I love you too much to let you go, and I agree, I fully intend to behave as if you hadn't tracked down your birth father. I agree that we shouldn't take the risk of having a child together, and while I would love him or her even if there were any birth defects, I feel it better to avoid that possibility. I want our child to be yours, so I guess that we start looking for a surrogate."

We were still locked in each other's arms when she was called back to the Design Office. I sat at my desk giving thanks that I had met and fallen in love with Brianna before I'd discovered my birth parents, and not after, how could I live my life without her in it?

We had dinner together and I spent the night in her apartment, our lovemaking putting the revelations behind us as we planned our future lives. "Have you told your parents about this?" Brianna asked as we came down from another high.

"I've told them that I'd found my birth mother, and that, while I lied to them and told them that she hadn't named my father, I told them that she'd given me an assurance that he wasn't a murderer, thief, rapist or paedophile."

"Are you ever going to tell them?"

"It will come out soon enough."

Our engagement was announced with suitable fanfare at a dinner at the Country Club. I don't know whether everyone was just being kind, but we were told dozens of times that we were the perfect couple. My father rose to give a speech. "Friends, I am probably the happiest father in this room tonight. I look at Anthony and Brianna and see a couple so perfect for each other in every way. Anthony is proving himself very capable of running my company for me, and Brianna is the best Design Manager we have ever employed, so my company is in good hands. This has made me happy, but what has made me even happier, is that these two have fallen in love, and have decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask that you be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to the happy couple, the perfect couple, my son Anthony and his lovely fiancé, Brianna."

I rose to respond, but before I spoke, I leaned over and kissed Brianna. She smiled at me and I almost forgot what I was about to say. "Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say? My father and mother have always raised me with the understanding that the most important emotion in any relationship is love. Without love, a relationship exists in name only, it is not real." I don't know if anyone noticed the way that Roderick quickly averted his eyes when I looked at him as I spoke. "With Brianna I have found love in the true meaning of the word. We have a love that we know will weather any storm that this world can throw at us. We know that we will still be as much in love when we eventually depart this world as we are now. I could not have envisaged a better life partner than my darling Brianna. I could not have wanted a better wife than the one that Brianna will shortly become. It just leaves me to thank you all for coming here this evening and sharing this special, magical night with us." I sat down and Brianna leaned over and kissed me, and held the kiss for several seconds