The Sister Ch. 04

"So you only like looking at pretty women?"

"Ah, well, um... Lingerie is something you show only to someone you like a lot, and so the only time I see it, is on someone I like to look at, so I only like it one people that I like to look at in that way. I wouldn't want to see Owen in that, for instance."

"That would be a little extreme." She agreed, looking as if she bit into something sour.

"Yeah, just like I wouldn't want to see just any woman with it, just my woman with it. If that makes any sense."

"It does. I'm going to use the bathroom to get the makeup on."

"Sure." I chirped, walking with her into my bedroom and fishing around in my closet for the rest of the costume.

I heard Ivy hum something, and it took me a minute before I recognized it; it was the Blue Danube. Shaking my head, I assembled my costume, knotted and sealed with wax the ropes, made sure the sheathed was waxed to a high gloss, and then fixing my hair into a messy queue before shrugging my clothes off and dressing quickly before Ivy blundered out and saw me, again.

I was just putting on the finishing touches, when Ivy stepped out. "What do you think?" she asked. She looked perfect, her makeup applied just so, her hair perfectly done.

"How did you get your hair to do that?"

"It's a wig I found at a costume store."

"You seem a little less busty than before, if you don't mine my saying."

"Geisha aren't that busty to begin with, so I kinda strapped them down."

"Does it hurt?"

Ivy absently rubbed her breasts, "Not now, but as a bra it sucks. You look good, too. Scruffy and dangerous."

"Really? Women swoon over that. Are you swooning?"

"No, but I know you."

"Aww, not even a little swoon?"

"Nope."

"Maybe I'll find someone at the party to swoon."

"You better not, you're my date, after all."

"I can't help it if some woman swooned over me."

"Maybe I'll make some guy swoon."

I thought about it for a second, "Nah. Ow!" I yelped when Ivy's folded fan skipped of the back of my head.

"What were you saying?"

"You could. Maybe."

"Do I not make you swoon?"

"Me? Nah. I know you, after all." I said, and ducked the fan again, dancing back.

"You are such a... man!" Ivy spluttered.

"Why, thank you." I said smiling, deciding to leave the nodachi behind, it was too precious to me to take to some idiotic party.

"Don't cut anyone with that, okay?"

I rolled my eyes theatrically, and sighed.

"I mean it."

"Yes, dear."

As she drove, we talked about Jennifer, how she skipped from man to man seemingly aimlessly sometimes the relationships lasted a few days, sometimes a few months. Some ended well, most didn't. And I helped her pick herself up and soldier on. Somehow. Honestly I have no idea what I say or do that helps her. We eat some ice cream, we watch some cheeseball movies, she cries on my shoulder, I tell her it's going to be alright, sometimes she sleeps on my "couch", and in a few days she thanks me, gives me a hug, and life moves on until the next time.

Ivy looks at me tenderly as I wind down from my frank and confused synopsis of Jennifer, "You're a good person." Ivy tells me warmly, pulling neatly into a parking space.

I sighed, "That I am. Doesn't get me laid, though."

"Maybe you're just looking at the wrong people."

"Maybe the wrong people are looking at me?"

"No, I think sometimes the right person is looking at you. Sometimes. One person has to be the right person sometime, right?"

"I guess." I grunt, levering myself out carefully.

"You're so optimistic."

"What part of 'bitter and old' confused you?" I said, knocking on the door.

Ivy gave me a sharp look as the door opened, and a woman dressed as a witch with a ratty short skirt, ridiculously high heels, and a large wide brimmed hat peered at us for a moment before, "Ivy!" She cried and gently hugged her.

Thus followed a fast squeaky chatter between the two as she let us inside. It was a large town house, bedrooms above, kitchen and whatnot below. Already there were a handful of people chatting and drinking. Two tables were set up, one for drinks, another for food, mostly candy and finger food. Owen's party had a bartender to keep a watch over the alcohol, as a legal issue, here the alcohol was chilling in ice filled tubs, and no bartender. The partygoers, as far as I could tell, were Ivy's age. With a sinking feeling, I just wanted a cup of coffee; this was going to be a long night.

I noticed a pause in the conversation, and I looked over. The witch looked at me appraisingly, and Ivy was looking hungrily at the alcohol.

"My name's Sapphire, how do you do." The witch said, offering me her hand.

I shook it in a strong grip, "I do well enough, is this everyone?"

"Oh, they'll be along soon enough. Do you want a tour of the house?"

"Ivy, do we want a tour of the house?"

"Nah, I've seen it before."

"Then no, she's seen it before."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"I'll take a rain check." I said, waving it away, "Where did you get the food?"

"I had a caterer brought it in a few hours ago."

"Wow, they must be good, the food looks wonderful from here. Where did you get all that alcohol?"

"I ordered it through the catering service."

"Isn't there going to be underage drinkers at the party?"

Sapphire grinned naughtily and whispered to me, "I won't tell if you won't."

"Of course... Ivy, if you don't stop staring, your eyes will fall out."

"Could you make me a drink?"

"It is within the realm of the possible..."

"Make me a drink."

I sighed and remembered that I was being paid for this. It helped as I went over to the tubs and looked around, and sighed again. The tubs were filled with a lot of cheap alcohol, which offended me on a professional level. "What do you want?"

"Irish car bomb."

"No Guinness."

"Rusty Nail."

"No Drambuie."

"Long Island Ice Tea."

"Umm... yes. I can make that."

"Long on the Long Island, light on the ice tea, understand?"

"Right." I said, grumbling under my breath at the antiquated conditions I had to work under. After a few minutes, I handed Ivy a glass of Long Island Ice Tea, short on the Long Island, long on the Ice Tea. I was supposed to look after her, after all, and I was pretty certain that after Owen's last brush with alcohol, if I brought Ivy home wobbling and puking, he'd cheerfully dent my head in with a lead pipe.

"Tastes great."

"Of course it would, I was a bartender." I said arrogantly.

"You were a bartender?" Sapphire asked, a little awed.

"And a pretty good one, too. I quit because I didn't want to deal with the drunks anymore."

"Ironic, that." Ivy said, looking around with a satisfied smile.

I shrugged, "Occupational hazard. Obvious, upon reflection."

"I hate stupid drunks." Sapphire said as the doorbell chimed pleasantly. "Excuse me." She said and minced to the door

"Five bucks she falls and breaks her neck on those things."

"I thought men liked heels."

"I like heels, but there's a line that shouldn't be crossed."

"And those...?"

"Crossed it by a mile. Who would even wear those silly things, really?"

"She is."

"She also shares her name with a number of strippers and porn stars. I rest my case."

Ivy took another pull, "Still, it's a nice drink."

"Thank you, madam. Now what shall we do?"

"We shall mingle, and we shall have fun." Ivy said, walking towards the new arrivals. It didn't sound like a request.

"Of course." I said, following.

The rest of the night was exactly what I thought it would be: long and tedious. Ivy had a lot of fun chatting with her friends, and politely rebuffing the advances of some guys, dancing, nibbling on the food, sipping from the as light on the alcohol alcoholic drinks she sent me scurrying to make. My efforts were rewarded as people started dropping from drunkenness, and Ivy only was a little tipsy. I, on the other hand, was drinking blood-warm coffee from a bottle I snagged from the kitchen before the party started.

Ivy looked at me owlishly, "Are you sure you're making these right?"

I nodded, "I'm sure. Heavy on the alcohol, light on the drink."

"I don't feel too drunk."

"We did have something to eat before we got here."

"Right, well, make me another one." Ivy said, pressing the cup into my hands.

I nodded and used the bathroom first, then the bar, somehow salving a drink from the debris left behind, which I pressed into her hands, and dodged a mummy weaving on his feet towards the impromptu dance floor. Ivy gulped the drink down, and handed me the cup again.

"Another."

"You might want to slow down, Ivy."

"I said another! If I want to be drunk then I'm going to be fucking drunk!" she snapped.

"Oookaaay." I said, holding my hands up placatingly.

"Now get me another. I don't care what it is."

"Riiight." I said, retreating.

At the table, I bumped into Sapphire again. Well, less bumped, more ambushed. She was waiting at the table, and brightened when I came by.

"Having a good time?"

"Oh, yeah, great party." I lied.

"Ivy tells me you're good with computers; Jacen bumped into my computer a couple of minutes ago, and it's not working now, could you take a look at it?"

I thought about it for a second. "Sure," I chirped, thinking that near the computer would be a phone I could use.

"Great! Follow me." She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowds, up the stairs and through a door in the back, with a commanding view of the kidney bean shaped pool in the back, with various people in various states of undress making out in the glittering darkness lit only by the moon high in the sky.

The room itself was lit only by the soft glow of the lamp next to the computer, and the monitor at a DOS command prompt. It was a bedroom, a large bed in the corner, a desk with the computer, a small refrigerator next to a small microwave on a table across from the bed, some stuffed animals battling for space with the books in the bookshelf, a pile of glittering equipment in another corner, and three closed doors.

"Want a drink?" Sapphire asked, opening the refrigerator.

"No, I'm good." I said, taking a swig of the coffee, and sitting down.

"Maybe some popcorn?"

"No thank you, filled up at the buffet table." I lied, restarted the computer.

"So, how's Iv'es doing?"

"She's doing fine."

"I heard Ronnie took the breakup a little too personal."

"Started smacking her around in my house. Not the brightest of ideas he's probably ever had." I said dryly.

"I never saw what she saw in him."

I shrugged. The computer started up like it should. "There doesn't seem to be any problem with the computer. Maybe it just needed a restart."

"Computers are just so complicated, I could never do what you do."

"Eh, you can take a course at the college. In a year you could." I said and turned around almost trampling her by accident. "Um, hi?"

She smiled up at me and then grabbed my head, jerked it down and kissed me, rubbing her body against mine suggestively. "Oh fuck, you are a big man." She moaned kissing my face.

I stood frozen for a moment, undecided. While the idea of sex with someone was appealing, the idea of sex with her, (and possible statutory rape at that), was not. I sighed, sometimes it didn't pay to get out of bed in the morning.

I grabbed her arms and unwrapped them from my head and neck and pushed her away. She apparently took this as assent and skipped to the bed and laid back, spreading her legs "Yes, fuck me. I wanted you the second you came through the door, all big and sexy." She moaned, struggling to pull her dress off.

"Sapphire, I can't. I'm promised to someone else."

"Mmm, I bet she doesn't have a pussy as tight as mine." She said, finally tugging her dress off, her hand slipping between her thighs, sliding over her panties, as she begged, "Just one time, no one will know."

"Look, I'm sure you're a great person."

"And I'm a better fuck. You make me so fucking wet--"

"--but you're not going to get what you want from me. Look elsewhere." I rudely cut her off and walked out, firmly closing the door on her objections behind me.

I walked downstairs dodging people making out on the staircase and on the landing. By habit, I made my way to the bar and realized I left Ivy's cup by the computer. Snagging one that looked just like it, I washed it out and filled it again with something that I banged together. I found Ivy on the dance floor wrapped around some guy, and honestly, at that moment I had had enough of it. I took the drink into the kitchen, the only unoccupied room, snagged the phone from the cradle and called Owen.

"Hey, what's up."

"I'm tired, and I want to get out of this stress test gone awry."

"Where's my sister?"

"She's on the dance floor dancing like in a rap video. Y'know, the dry humping?"

"She drunk?"

"She's been drinking."

"But is she drunk."

"Tipsy. I've been controlling her alcohol intake, I think. Look, it's been nice, but I've reached my limit."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Fuck, I dunno."

"Just stay with her. You're my only hope." Owen said and hung up.

"Well, fuck me if I can't take a joke." I said, draining the last of the coffee from the bottle, and reaching for the full carafe in the coffee maker when Ronnie and two of his friends rounded the corner, dressed in their full whatever the fuck they belong to regalia. Which means they could have a weapon on them and I'd never know.

"Hello, dickface." Ronnie said.

"Hello, assmaster. Nice to bring your girlfriends along." I said over my shoulder. Great. A fight. Just what I wanted. Well, daddy always said to take the initiave. About fighting specifically was to hit them with a two-by-four when they're taking a leak, but they didn't look like they came here for the bathroom, and I was fresh out of lumber.

Ronnie stepped forward, "Look, I got one thing to saaAAAAHH!!!" his sentence dissolved into a scream as the stream of scalding coffee splashed on Ronnie and the boy next to him. The other kid yelled as the carafe shattered against his forehead as I grabbed the tub of margarita salt and threw a handful at the three of them before I jumped in, grabbed Ronnie and slammed his face into the counter twice, quickly before I pulled him away, wrapping an arm around his neck and started choking him in the approved OSS manner. Well, the approved OSS manner featured a garrote, but since I didn't have a garrote...

People, attracted by the screaming, started moving towards the commotion and they saw one kid still yelling on the floor, the other peppered with glass looking at me, and me holding Ronnie like a shield, his feet off the floor and jerking, his hands at his neck trying to pry my skinny arm off him.

Ivy pushed through the crowd, and stopped for a moment taking in the scene. "LET HIM GO!" she yelled.

I smiled, "Fuck him." I said, gripping tighter. Ronnie was making wet choking noises, his nails scraping my arm, drawing blood. "He comes in here with his dickless posse, insults me, and was going to jump my ass anyway once they screwed up their courage. Fuck him."

Ronnie, I think, was trying to communicate, but it felt like he was trying to get free, so I choked him harder.

"Look, I'll call the police, I'll file assault charges."

"Does this retard looks like he cares about restraining orders? Huh? No, this fuckwit only understands violence. So here's the lesson: fuck with me, and I will have my coup." I said, and then let him go. He dropped to his hands and knees, gagging, and I kicked him in the ribs a couple of times for good measure. "Next time, you be polite, and you be nonthreatening, or I'm taking something away you use a lot. I'm crazy, I'll fucking do it, too." I looked at the other one. "You better get this goat-fucker to a doctor, or do you want a lesson too?"

The guy tensed for a moment, and I calmly reached over and pulled a big carving knife out of the collection on the counter beside me. It was Toledo steel, and the knife alone probably costs as much all the knives in my house put together. "Look, I don't got all night, so let's hurry this up." I said briskly, stepping over Ronnie. He tensed even further, then held his hands up and backed away.

"Now, this has been a swell evening, but I must bid you adieu." I said, snagged Ivy's cup off the counter and pushed it into her hands, turned and walked out the back door. People moved out of my way, because, well, I was still holding the knife, which I ditched when I hopped over the fence into the neighbor's yard and walked away.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.