The Sister Ch. 05

Jennifer smiled underneath the towel, "There's some good Chinese down the street that delivers."

"Chinese and vanilla ice cream?" I asked, making a face.

"Do you have anything better?" she challenged.

I thought about it for a second and then went hunting for the phone, saying over my shoulder, "Yeah, I just might."

Two quick calls later and I covered the mouthpiece of the phone and called out Jennifer in my bedroom, "Hey, how does a real southern meal sound? Chicken fried steak, biscuits, mashed potatoes, greens, and enough gravy to put out a forest fire? Then for dessert, apple cobbler. Sound good?"

"Sounds real good, where's it coming from?"

"Uh, there's a restaurant a few miles away that delivers. Don't worry, I'll pay; consider it a birthday present."

"You're a darling!"

"Riiight." I responded ambiguously, still disgusted with myself over my previous act. I walked a little distance away from the bedroom door before whispering into the phone, "Okay, Mike, two dinner specials, and make it look like delivery."

"I dunno, I could get into trouble for this..."

"I'm paying you, come on, Mike! You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Capishe?"

"Just what in the hell does that mean, really?"

"Means that I owe you one! Food, now! I'll help you paint your house or move some furniture around or whatever later!"

"Okay, but you owe me. Two dinner specials, two desserts, make it look like delivery. I'll be over as soon as they're done."

"Thanks, man."

"This better be a hot date or something..."

"Uh, yeah, it's very hot, very, uh... date-y."

"Christ, you're a bad liar." He said, chuckling, and hung up.

I rolled my eyes and slipped the phone back into its charger cradle, turned and started to tell Jennifer it would be a minute, only to freeze, mouth open like a carp when I heard a tinny, breathy moan from the bedroom. And in one horrible instant, I knew Jennifer had found my porn DVD, and in possibly the worst way I could imagine someone finding it.

I blundered noisily towards the room, hoping she'd shut it off before I got there, that we could ignore it tactfully, and I wouldn't have to explain certain things -- but she didn't, and I blundered through the partially closed door, wondering what I would find on the other side. If the average porn was to be believed, she'd be masturbating wildly -- but I wondered if anything in porn ever happens in real life. Y'know, other than people having sex; well, people other than me having sex, I mean. While I doubted she would freak out like my mother would, I hoped against all hope that Jennifer had just been surprised at the cleanness of the sheets, or the softness of the bed; because if I'm nothing else, I'm hopelessly optimistic about really stupid things. If not this was going to be...awkward.

Jennifer laying on the bed, the remote held limply in her hand as she stared at the TV, the porn continuing on as the succubus stole into the room of another twenty-something nun dressed in a simple cotton shift, yet made of ridiculously thin cotton and several sizes smaller than it should be, showing every curve of her body, and showing off her rather large breasts pressed against the fabric her aroused nipples, one pierced with a ring, tented the thin fabric lewdly and were hardly unnoticeable. She was on her knees in front of a small bed, praying when the door creaked slowly open and the succubus stepped into the room.

Oh, crap, it started from when I stopped! Like a deer in the headlights, I froze and started at the TV, my mind grinding to a halt as my eyes flicked from the screen to Jennifer.

Despite the nun's initial frightened chanted prayers and silver rosary, which initially drew a yelp from the demon as she was rebuffed and pressed against the wall by some unseen hand, the succubus continued to smile wickedly as she toyed with her breasts watching silently as the kneeling nun's body language slowly changed from chaste to wanton, until she was gasping the prayer out between pants, her legs spread wide and a hand busily masturbating herself under her shift. The nun stopped chanting and started moaning wantonly, dropping the rosary to the floor as she started mauling her breasts through the shift. Through lust clouded eyes, flashes of fear stole across her face as the succubus slowly walked closer, the nuns hands seemingly uncontrollably molesting her, caressing and tugging her nipples through the shift, and making a wet squishing sound between her legs as she begged God for strength as the succubus stood over her, jacking her evilly glowing strap on slowly and chuckling evilly.

Jennifer paused it and giggled as the succubus grabbed the nun by the hair and made her suck the demonic strap on, the image frozen on the screen, and looked up at me with a cocky grin, "So, this is what you like?"

Answering no was a lie, yes was to admit to embarrassment, so in a fit of relative brilliance, I chose both; "I, uh, sorta?" Well, it seemed smarter in my head.

"They're both pretty at least, but I never figured you for the kink. You seemed so... wholesome."

I smiled weakly, "It's not something people talk about, y'know... to other people. Casually. When there's no sex involved in the relationship... and sometimes when sex is involved, too." I heard myself babble.

"True, true." Jennifer flicked the tv off and tossed the remote aside, looking around thoughtfully, "I'm not going to find some secret bat-porn cave if I pull a book from the bookshelf, right?"

I shook my head, "No, don't worry, it's in a box somewhere, you'll have to go rooting through my stuff to find it."

"Oh, good. For a minute there I thought I would be accidentally traumatized a rack of whips and chains."

"Oh, that stuff? That's in the cupboard next to the flour."

Jennifer giggled, then paused, "You're kidding, right?!"

I snorted and ejected the DVD, "Of course... or am I? Muhahaha!" I said, laughing evilly.

"Jeez." Jennifer grumbled rolling her eyes.

"Actually, this is my only porn video." I said wiggling the DVD in my hand before pressing it into the case and putting it aside.

"Really?"

"Yeah." I said, sitting down on the bed a polite distance away from her, "Really weird thing; I can buy just about anything else, but I get all jittery when I go for movies."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So of all the movies, you chose... that?" Jennifer said, gesturing to the DVD.

I shrugged, "It gets the job done."

"So..." Jennifer paused, searching for something, before asking delicately, "Do you like roleplaying?"

"With other people or sexually speaking?" Please be the first one! I prayed fervently.

"Sexually." Crap.

She was a friend, and I didn't want to lie to her, so honesty seemed to be the best policy, but I was still uncomfortable talking about it. "Oh, yeah. Most of the time."

"Most of the time?"

"Eh, sometimes it just doesn't click, y'know?"

"So, what do you roleplay about?"

I paused, smiled cryptically and shook my head, "Sorry, a gentleman never tells."

"Oh. Oh, it's probably really kinky then." Jennifer teased with a wicked smile.

I smiled at some of the more memorable things that had happened, "It can be, if we're both willing to do that. Sex is all about what you're comfortable doing, or comfortably uncomfortable doing as the case may be, really."

"Have any bad sex experiences?"

I shrugged, "A few."

Jennifer smiled at me, "But you're not going to tell me, are you?"

I smiled and nodded, "Very observant."

Jennifer shook her head, "Ugh, you're just so... damned... polite!"

"I'll take that as a compliment." I said dryly, smiling as Jennifer covered her face with her hands.

She shook her head twice before she whipped her hands away and pointed at me imperiously, demanding, "Why don't you have a wife? The way you are, any woman worth her salt would marry you in an instant!"

I snorted, "But I don't want a woman made of salt, I'd like her to be more... human. Call it a fetish of mine..."

Jennifer groaned, "You know what I mean!"

"Yes, I do."

"So why?"

"Why what?" I answered innocently.

"Quit being a dick and answer the question!"

"I'm not being a dick, I'm just not answering the question."

"I will strangle you, you know that?"

I looked up at the ceiling and sighed, "I guess I just haven't found the right one. I've found a lot of good and interesting people, and we had some fun, but we're not... for each other at this point in our lives." I sighed again and muttered, "I wish them more luck in their search than I'm apparently having, however." Which was part vow, part plea.

"So, you just haven't found anyone?" Jennifer asked, a bit perplexed.

"No, I found a lot of people that were fun to be around and the sex was good, but there was something... lacking, y'know?"

"Maybe."

"At least we all parted amicably. Most of the time."

"Maybe you were meant to be single forever."

"Ugh, bite your tongue." I shuddered thinking about it for a second before I admitted, grudgingly, "Though the thought has occurred to me a couple of times. I suppose I'm holding out for something special -- maybe Mom's right, maybe I am waiting for an engraved invitation from God."

Jennifer sat straighter, her head quirking to the side as the silence lengthened before, "So why don't I see you date more?"

"I'm on vacation." I replied instantly.

"No, I mean in general."

I shrugged, "I work all day, I come home tired, I just want to get a bath, veg for an hour, and get some sleep before I wake up and do it again the next day. Notice the little time available to dress up like a colorblind peacock and cruise the bars, even if I was so inclined."

"Get a clue, it's the future!" she said, tapping her head, "Post an on-line personal."

"What, those? Ugh. No thank you." I said, shaking my head and barely keeping the disgust out of my voice.

"And just why not!?"

"I don't know if I'm going to be dating the Thing from the Black Lagoon or, shudder, a guy."

Jennifer giggled, "What's wrong with dating a guy? I date guys all the time."

"Well, other than I'm a flaming heterosexual, not much."

"Maybe you haven't found the right one yet." Jennifer teased with a grin.

I sighed and theatrically rolled my eyes, which earned a laugh from my erstwhile torturer, before I remarked, "You are, oddly enough, the second woman to say that to me in the past week."

"Oh?" Ivy brightened, "Who was the other one?"

"Ivy; night of the party."

"The time you attacked that guy?"

"How did you find out?"

"It's the talk of the town. It's grown more titillating with every retelling."

"Buncha people need to get a hobby or something." I growled.

"But their hobby is gossip." Jennifer pointed out, which I could only grumble and roll my eyes in response. Jennifer smiled and changed the subject back, "So Ivy, huh?"

I massaged my temples, "Yeah, my relationships seem to be a very popular subject all of a sudden."

"Really."

"Yeah. Amazingly so, considering I'm taking a break from that for a while."

"What do you mean, you're taking a break?"

"Going to take a break for a bit. Playing the field is an young man's game, and I'm not a young man anymore."

"Please," Jennifer snorted, "You're hardly old enough to be a man."

"Yeah... hey!" I did a double take, and decided to take the high road, "Perhaps, but you're as old as you feel." I sighed dramatically.

"Uh huh, then how old do you really feel, old fart?"

"Ancient. Desiccated. Old. At least thirty." I paused, and looked around before leaning forward and whispering conspiratorially, "Maybe even older."

"You ass!" Jennifer giggled and threw a pillow at me.

"Hey, I said I felt ancient."

"Yeah, senile and ancient. By the way, Ivy seems sweet on you."

I laughed and shook my head, "Yeah, she had a crush on me years ago. Quite embarrassing, really."

"Embarrassing? I'd think it would be a huge ego boost. Pretty young woman with puppy eyes, ready to be molded in the blast furnace of your love!"

"I... er... what? 'Blast furnace of love'!?"

"Crucible of lust?"

"No."

"Hammer and tongs of desire?"

"No."

"Anvil of Bom-chika-wow-wow?"

"Oh, hell no."

"Whatever! But a young girl, pretty, nubile, virgin, pining over an older man, experienced, cosmopolitan, worldly... Oh come on, it's a porn staple! Huge ego boost there!"

"Not when no other woman in the world would look at me." I said quietly.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"It's okay, you'll find someone."

"Y'know, a lot of people say that when someone has relationship problems -- it starts to ring a little hollow after a while."

"Well, I do have a sister..."

"Oh?" I perked up instantly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she'll be legal in a decade or so. And since you're not doing anything, or anyone else in the meantime..." Jennifer trailed off with a smirk.

I smiled thinly at her, "Oh ha ha. Cruel. Very cruel." And Jennifer smirked back at me, and I decided that if it took me being the butt of a joke, then I'd be the butt of a joke for her.

"So, how bad was the last one to make you so girl shy?"

"Lets just we had a differing opinion on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

"So... what? She was a libertarian?"

"Nothing so political; passive-aggressive, manipulative, and controlling -- to start with. In our defense, getting together seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Doesn't it always start like that?" She said shaking her head and smiling wistfully

"A good idea at the time?"

"Yeah."

I nodded, "Depressingly, yes." I said sadly.

"Was it at least fun?"

"In the beginning? Yeah. Sex was good, and we had some fun times before it got bad and we went our own ways."

"Amicably?"

"Eh, close enough for government work." I shrugged.

"Poor guy."

"Huh. I'm amazed the human race limps on into the next generation if this is any sample of the relationship problems the average person has."

"Nah, I think most people marry their high-school sweetheart and raise a herd of children before it comes apart on them. Lucky them."

"Yeah, lucky them." And I couldn't honestly say if I meant that or not. The door thumped in the background as someone knocked a simple tattoo. "Looks like the food's here." I said standing, "Come on, let's go." I paused, holding my hand out to help her up.

"I don't wanna! I'm comfortable here!" Jennifer said, quickly burrowing into the sheets.

"But I don't want crumbs in my bed!" I exclaimed.

"Noooo!" She whined, flashing a grin at me.

I walked to the bedroom door and stopped, before I said with a measured callousness, "Well, that's okay, I'm sure I can eat your portion too..."

And in a flash, Jennifer sprung out of the bed like a jackrabbit, "Whine, whine, whine." Jennifer needled, rolling her eyes as she walked past me briskly.

"Set the table, I'll be back with the food." I said to her back as I fished my wallet out of my pants. I opened the door and tried to block Mike's view of the inside, so he wouldn't get any ideas, but he got a look over my shoulder when I pulled out some bills to pay him anyway. Mike wordlessly handed me the bag, and took my money with an inane grin, stuffed the money in my pocket and gave me a thumbs up just before he disappeared around the corner. Great now the idiot probably thinks I'm dating her, I snorted, a little annoyed, shaking my head as I closed the door and locked it. Oi.

"How much was it?" Jennifer said, bent over the table setting some plates down. I looked away quickly, suddenly fascinated by the receipt stapled to the bag.

"Don't worry about it." I said and slapped the bag down on the counter, "Now eat! Depressingly, this is far better food than I can do."

Jennifer snorted, "Ha, I've eaten what you've made." And she made it sound like an accomplishment.

I paused and waited a beat for the rest of that sentence, curious, before prompting her, "'I've eaten what you've made'... aaand you liked it?"

Jennifer thought about it for a second before pronouncing, "It was... edible. Yes, very... um... edible."

"Oh thanks."

"Trust me... it's the least I can do."

I rolled my eyes and grunted, "Oi!"

She stuck her nose in the bag and sniffed, pronouncing, "Hey, this is better than you can do!"

No respect, I get no respect... "Oi."

Jennifer giggled, "Awww, poor man!"

"Oi." I grunted and partitioned out the food.

We ate in silence for a little bit, enjoying the food before Jennifer asked, "So, what's with Ivy?"

I swallowed my mouthful of food, and said as over-innocently as I could, "Why, whatever could you possibly mean, dearest Jennifer?"

Her eyebrow quirked up at my tone, "Well, she was trying to knock down your door this morning, and she was asking about your relationships a few days ago..."

"Just curious, I guess. I was at that age." I tossed off.

"Uh huh." She murmured, unconvinced, "And the door thing?"

"Bad night last night."

"Uh huh. Are you ever going to tell me about that?"

"It's, uh," I paused and leaned forward and stage whispered, "Are you sure you really want to hear a about how stupid I was last night?"

Jennifer chuckled, "Heh, oh this'll be good. Come on, give! Give!"

I wiped the corners of my mouth with my napkin, and sipped some coffee to clear my throat before I started, "Oh, ah, okay, it began with a call from Owen yesterday..." And so I told her everything. Last night was not going down as one of my better nights, but I got out of it in one piece (as did everyone else involved), which I guess was an accomplishment of sorts.

At the end, Jennifer gasped, "You nearly choked someone to death?!"

I shook my head, "Well, not to death. He would have fallen unconscious first long before brain damage or even death occurred."

"Hrm." She said, digesting this fact, and then sniggered, "Well you did have a chance to have some sex with a nubile young lady." When I balked, she argued, "Come on, its every guy's fantasy! You've probably roleplayed it out, y'know? The eager student and the naughty teacher? It's a classic!"

"It's a classic -- between consenting adults! It would probably be statutory rape for me. Not only that but I didn't want to stay in the same room with her, and I certainly didn't want to get anything close to intimate with her. Hell, I'd probably get herpes from the bed alone!" I said and stabbed my food with a fork, "I make it a rule to have my partners and myself tested before we have sex for each other's safety. She was probably the school slut or something; and she certainly didn't seem all there to begin with, so either drunk, drugs, or just brain-damaged, I didn't want to know. "

"She might have been acting."

"But why act stupid? The only people turned on by that are a waste of space to begin with."

"Eh, various reasons. Fitting in, for one."

"Oh, high school bullshit." I snorted.

"Amen."

We ate a while longer, enjoying the food, and polishing off the dessert. I put the plates in the dishwasher, as Jennifer watched me from the dinner table, looking like she wanted to say something. Then Jennifer screwed up her courage and asked, "So what about Ivy?"

Honestly, I was expecting something different to come out of her mouth, really. Something like, 'good food.' Or 'dessert was excellent!' But what happens in the minds of women are weird and arcane, and not for the likes of me to understand. "What about Ivy?"

"Well, what if Ivy was the one offering sex?"

I recoiled as if slapped. "Have sex with Ivy? Owen's little sister?! He'd kill me. No, he'd douse me in gasoline, set me on fire, put it out with lime juice, roll me around in salt, stake me to the ground, and let the birds peck at me while he practiced that Temple of Doom voodoo thing on me... and then maybe he'd consider killing me."