The Sound of Muesli

After an hour the flashes had all but abated and only an occasional rumble could be heard. We emerged into the rain, hoods up and tied. The wind was pushing the rain at a steep angle, gusting enough to make one or two of us take a step sideways as it buffeted the group. Anna explained again, her voice firm and steady above the wind. Everyone was nodding, huddling together. We needed to cover the fact that this was the last opportunity for a toilet break for a while. However no one wanted to leave the group, so we moved off towards the path we came up. After a half hour we were halfway down. Sheltered from the wind slightly but soaked in the rain.

At the point where we were back on the rock slabs, Anna found a half sheltered area with an overhang. Without ado, she pulled her leggings and thong down and squatted. Pete and Mike seeing her turned away from the wind and proceeded to pee. As everyone appeared they took the opportunity to pee, no false modesty, this was a basic human need. As Anna stood, Jo and Amy were down and squatted side by side, Dawn and Dennis appeared and dealt with the business. As tail end charlie, I was last and everyone had just about finished as I fished the old boy out and peed.

"Better out than in," Dawn said and laughed. There were murmurs of laughter as I tucked myself away, grinning to myself. We stood in the lee until Anna led us out and down. Half an hour later we were approaching a grassy slope and the long walk down. A sudden shout and one of the guys, Pete, was rolling down the slope, managing to pull himself to a standstill thirty feet later by grabbing and holding onto the coarse grass he was rolling over. We walked down carefully as he pulled himself upright. Looking sheepish he apologised and insisted he was totally fine. We continued down and made it to the strand of trees. Just then the heavens really opened. There's no rain like Lake District rain, it was a thorough soaking, penetrating everything. Anna beckoned me over as we tried to find what shelter there was in the trees.

"I'm not sure we're going to make it down before nightfall, options?"

"OK, if that's the case, we need to find somewhere dryish and secure for the night, we need to let Mac know and we need to keep these folks spirits up."

"Agreed, can you give Mac a shout, I'll explain the problem and we'll then discuss shelter."

I nodded and found my radio. Mac was not best pleased and asked how much more we could do to get these good folks lower down and perhaps in range of the Landy's. I looked at my map and thought we could get down into the valley with luck, but it was a slog. On our side of the valley there were no nearby roads. As the rain fell and the sun moved it would be dark fairly soon, and we needed to be settled by then. Mac agreed and we looked at options for shelter.

Anna was stood talking to the group, surprisingly they looked pretty relaxed about the situation. I joined them. They told me it was more stressful on payroll day, this was a doddle. We laughed, then I explained that we would be making for an old property nearby, which had been a shepherds house but had been abandoned for years. It was a one storey affair, probably only one room. They nodded. Anna and I checked maps and agreed the route.

We set off, walking through the trees until we emerged on the track we took earlier. After ten minutes a quick map check and we moved to our left down a lesser track. curving along the contour we walked one behind the other steadily. Anna looked for the fork and we plunged downwards until the path broadened and we joined a larger track moving further left. The land opened before us, or it would have done had there not been a constant torrent of water pouring down on us.

We walked over a hump and below us about twenty feet down and a hundred yards away stood a squat low building. We walked towards it, rounding it and looking for the entrance. A rough wooden door stood across the only gap in the rough brickwork. Luckily the courses finished above my head where wooden beams showed the roofline. The roof as such consisted of rows of local slate overlapping from top to bottom. Anna hefted the handle and pulled, the door gave slightly then halted. The door sagged on its hinges, the post they were attached to had rotted and pulled slightly away from the supporting wall. Dennis, Mike and Pete, who were in front in the column, joined Anna in lifting the door and pushing the post back against the wall. they swung it outwards and let it down gently.

Inside was one large room, no windows, but plentiful small gaps in the stone work. we piled in, the floor appeared dry, which was a blessing. Anna removed her waterproof, hanging it on a stone which jutted slightly inwards. Opening her pack she produced a clean dry jumper, thick and ribbed. Then she simply pulled her damp top off, revealing a smart navy sports bra, quickly the dry garment was over her head and her arms emerged from the sleeves. Pulling them back in she deftly removed the bra. She hung the wet top and bra from other stones jutting into the room.

"Can I suggest you get your waterproofs off and hang them up, if you're wet then change, you need to keep as dry as possible. OK?"

Everyone nodded as Anna slipped her boots off and hauled her leggings and thong down, exchanging them for a dry pair of leggings. Meanwhile, following her example Waterproofs were removed and hung on any handy rock hooks. Delving into their packs dry shirts and jumpers appeared and without any protest or stupid remarks. wet tops were off and dry replacements added. Jo then fiddled under her dry top and removed her bra, hanging it by her wet top. Amy and Dawn then proceeded to do the same.

Trousers followed, Dennis, obviously because he always did, stripped off his pants too, rummaging around for a dry pair. No one complained at his display, and one of the girls summed it up with.

"Wish I'd thought of that, oh sod it I need to get these knickers off," She hauled her leggings down and her thong, finding dry leggings in her pack. So like Anna she pulled these on without underwear.

Anna smiled and nodded.

"If your underwear is wet change it, you can't afford to put modesty before comfort and warmth. now has everyone got dry clothes on?"

Some were just finishing their changes but there was a general murmur of agreement, as the last damp clothes were hung up.

"OK, I've just talked to the Centre, the low that was expected to pass is stuck, caught in the hills, so the rain will continue until at least early tomorrow." Loud groans all round.

"Yes I agree, next, food, if you have anything left in your backpacks, please bring it out and we'll share it round. Also Jim has a small portable stove, so we can at least have a hot drink."

I grinned and produced the small stove with its two gas cannisters and plastic bags with tea and coffee in. There was a sense of uplift. It's amazing what the prospect of a warm drink does. I knew there was a beck nearby so donning my waterproof I ventured out with my trusty billy can and the empty thermos.

"Just leave them outside for five minutes, they'll be full." I heard Dawn yell to laughter. I grinned and slipped out. Back in ten minutes I set up the burner and began the first round of drinks.

"Gents, ladies first, OK?"

The guys nodded and walked over, we had two cups, but Amy had also brought a cup, because, she said, she couldn't drink from a bottle. At their request I made three teas and the guys took then to the girls, who gratefully cuddled the warm cups and drank. Next a quick swirl out and three coffees. Lastly Anna and I drank a coffee each. I rinsed the cups again and emptied the water out the door. We set about sharing out the food, Anna producing a wicked looking knife to carve up sandwiches and pies into portions. There was plenty of chocolate and Kendal Mint Cake, so we all managed at least enough to stave off any hunger pangs.

In one corner of the hut we found a log store and surprisingly it was fairly full of dry wood. The far side had a chimney affair and a hearth. With some ingenuity involving a lighter and some paper tissues we managed to start a small fire, building it up into a reasonable sized fire. It wasn't too smokey either, so we all gathered round to enjoy the warmth. Each of the guys wrapped an arm round a women so we could all get fairly close. I looked at Anna, who grinned and raised an eyebrow. I sat next to her and felt her arm swing round me. I grinned, only Anna would do that, I thought.

The fire was the only light, so we were dim shadows around the hearth. We fed it slowly, eking out the meagre supply. It was pitch black outside now and the rain continued to pound on the roof. I slipped away from the others and set up the stove again, making three teas. Anna joined me and we took them to the grateful girls. Pete then sheepishly produced four small plastic water bottles and offered them for use. I was grateful I wouldn't need to go outside again.

After we'd all had another drink, we settled back by the fire. Then the stories started, childhood camping, caravanning. Trips to the seaside, and the Lake District were recalled. We all had a tale. Anna produced a mouth organ and played a few tunes, we joined in where we could. A guy fished out a small bottle of Brandy and we took a turns to take a mouthful. Anna warned against over imbibing, as the alcohol would dilate blood vessels and bleed any heat out of us.

As the fire dimmed and the wood store emptied we fell into a drowsy mood. Anna had her head on my shoulder, my arm round her waist. Some one Dennis I think, needed to pee. I suggested the empty water bottles and two of the guys said they needed larger containers, to roars of approval from everyone. I suggested they point themselves at a gap in the stonework, which worked fairly well according to them when they returned from the dim area on the far side.

Complaints came from Dawn and co. about how a bottle was an impossibility, we laughed but it wasn't an easy problem to solve. With the rain hammering down outside the options were limited. Anna walked round the edge of the building with her torch. Calling me over I helped her move the woodstore, behind was a gully and an exit to the outside, via a small pipe. The remains of an old sink area. However as a makeshift latrine it was perfect.

After being found, Anna and the girls, took it in turns to use the facility. Shining the torch beam on the ground near the toilet they were able to squat and go. Meanwhile the brandy bottle went round again. Later with the fire just embers we settled together and tried to sleep. It was a fitful night, everyone having to get up at some point to pee. By morning we were awake and hoping for the rain to lift. It was still coming down, not as hard but still enough to drench us if we moved out.

With the lighter morning the girls didn't need a torch, we could all see what was happening. Everyone took it in their stride however just going when the urge came. In fact at one stage Dawn was squatting down whilst she talked to Dennis as he peed through a gap beside her.

Hunger was beginning to make itself felt now. We stood and mooched round, anxious to get going. Anna had us check that our waterproof's were dried out and our tops and leggings etc. were also dry. We packed up, made sure the fire was out. Donning our waterproofs we walked out. Walking down towards the Flatstone we made our way back.

I noticed how the group were coalescing into a real closeness. They were walking in two's or grouped together, talking animatedly and enjoying each other's company. Well part of the trip had been very successful then. We trudged on, walking steadily downwards. After an hour we halted for a drink, sharing the contents of the bottles of water, which we had refilled at a beck we crossed earlier. Yes I know were not supposed too, but we needed something.

Finally ten minutes after Anna last radioed in we hit a metaled road. Two Land Rovers stood with their tops on to keep the rear dry. We clambered in, all eight into the cramped rear, talking and hugging. Anna sat with her feet out the back., I sat behind and stretched my legs either side of hers. She looked back and grinned, leaning onto my chest. With a jolt we were off. Bouncing around we started to sing, laughing and giggling like five year olds.

Fifteen minutes later we hit the A66 and cruised back to base. Mac jumping up from his deckchair as we roared in. Anna jumped out and held her hand out for me, I took it and she tugged me out, I landed and toppled forward, her arms wrapped round me and I kissed her. Then leaned back, waiting for the tirade. Instead she laughed and pulled me tighter. That was a first.

After everyone was out, Mac led us into the portacabin, where a cooked breakfast was just being served up. We fell on it, chatting, like budgies as we ate. Mac stood behind Anna and I and we each felt his hand on our shoulders, a squeeze and a tap. Mac's usual thanks for a job well done. After breakfast, we were all hugging and saying goodbye, as the team went back to the hotel to clean up. I lived locally and suggested Anna come back for a shower. She kept a spare bag at the Centre, for emergencies. She said this was definitely an emergency.

Hugging we walked to my car. Anna asked to drive, I tossed her the keys. I'm not precious about my things and anyway she was a better driver than me. She drove as I directed and we pulled up outside my house. She seemed impressed. That surprised me, it was just a modest two up two down. The front garden was just a ledge really before the pavement met the road.

Inside, I slung my bag down and pointed out the facilities. Anna said she definitely wanted that shower, so I pulled a large clean bath towel out of the airing cupboard, watching her clatter upstairs to my tiny bathroom.

"Don't stare at my arse!" she yelled, but I could hear her laughing.

Forty minutes later she came down, towel wrapped around her just below her armpits. Apologising for not taking her bag up with her. No apology needed I said. Looking at the wet hair hanging down unfettered. She looked at me wryly,

"What?"

"Your hair, it looks, I don't know, I've never seen you with it down, it's always in a really neat ponytail, but it looks err... great." I finished lamely.

"Hmm, I like to let it down outside work, but I could use a hairdryer if you have?"

"Oh sure, there's one on my wife's side of the bed, third drawer down."

"Your Wife?"

"Ohh, errr, long story short, just to say, I haven't seen her in four, no five years now. I still call it my wife's side out of habit."

"Ohh! Sorry, what... what happened? Sorry, sorry, you probably don't want to talk about it."

"No! you're fine. She went off with.. I...err.. well... she... she err.. left me for my younger brother."

"Fuck, shit, I'm so sorry, I..." Anna rolled her eyes and bite her lip.

She shook her head, unable to believe her own stupidity. I walked to her and hugged her.

"Not your fault, I never... I find it hard to talk about... you see I lost my wife and my best friend... no two best friends in one big hit."

Her hands were round my waist. I looked down and kissed her lips, gently. Then feeling her respond, let myself go. I ravished her lips, they parted my tongue slid forward, I stopped and leaned back.

"This isn't an 'I'm sorry I upset you' kiss is it?" I asked.

"Fuck no, this is a 'I fancy you rotten, take me to bed kiss',"

"Thank fuck for that, I'd hate to be seen as any sort of victim in this,"

"Can't be easy."

"No it isn't but it's life. Sorry, what am I thinking, are you getting cold."

"Bloody freezing,"

"C'mon."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her giggling upstairs. We tumbled into my unmade bed where she pulled the towel off her and the duvet over, before I could inspect the goods.

"Unfair, I didn't see anything."

"Try touch," she said wriggling close to me. I shed my clothes, seeing her look of approval as I pulled my pants down, leaving the family jewels hanging on display.

"Nice, looks good enough to eat."

"Still hungry?"

"Not for food, come here Lofty, I need some cuddle time."

We hugged and kissed and then it got serious, we were hungry for sure, it had been a while for both of us though. Soon she 'Ahhed' her pleasure, as I 'Ohhed' mine. We came together and our hips began the tango. I found her lips and my arms were round her, hers flat on my back. Somehow we knew this was no rush job and so we took our time, the pleasure building until we each lost it.

I lay back and felt her head on my chest, and her arm drape over my body. Her lips touched my chest gently, her breath rustled the hair on my chest. I ran my finger up and down her side. We drifted off and awoke later, slightly confused and with much grinning and silly giggles. I got out and went to make tea, bringing her back a mug of it. She sat up and gratefully accepted my offering.

"So, what now lover?"

I looked at her and grinned.

"Am I your lover?"

"Do you have a twin brother and he gets you to make the tea?"

"Ahh that would be Derek, has he seduced you as well? He's left me to clear up again, hasn't he?"

"He's pretty good in bed, how are you?"

"In bed, me? well I can sleep a solid eight hours on a good day."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, by the way what did you say your name was?"

"Daphne?"

"Really?"

"Daphne Ponsonby -Smyth."

"Of the Keswick Ponsonby-Smyths"

"That's my uncle, we're from Threlkeld."

"Oh really! Do you know Hugo Fanshaw-Holmes?"

"Idiot!"

She laughed and patted my arm, sliding on top of me and kissing me.

"That was nice, extremely nice, it's been a while."

"Me too!"

"Since...?"

"Ummm yesss."

"Poor thing, like riding a bike though..."

"Once you know how to do it you never forget."

"Apparently,"

"Mmm."

She slid down to my side, arm wrapped across my chest.

"Jim, seriously, I don't do this... sleep with someone, well sex, make love whatever. I don't just do it, it has to mean something for me to..."

"I know, me too, I understand. I'd also understand if this was a one time thing. I'm no great shakes with the whole sex, love thing. Awkward, not rounded, that's what she said."

"That's bollocks for a start, you rocked my socks and I think you're well worth the investment."

"Investment?"

"In my time, which is precious to me, in case you hadn't gathered."

"I am surprised, astounded and gob smacked you want to spend time with me."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm just an ordinary guy doing a job and working with but trying not to fall for a very beautiful woman like you."

"Do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes of course who doesn't?"

"What does that mean?"

"Do you not notice the legions of men drooling along behind you?"

She laughed and hit me on the shoulder.

"Are you hungry yet?"

"Wow swift change of subject, yes as it happens, although I haven't got much in."

"we could go to the pub."

"OK I need to shower and shave though."

"Fair enough, I'll need another shower anyway, but you can go first."

"We could share?"

"You mean you could feel me up in a warm shower."

"Absolutely, all over, all in the course of cleanliness though."

"I bet... OK you're on, come on."

We ate later at the pub, simple pub grub, then she came back and stayed overnight. Anna left on Sunday evening to go home. Two hours later she was back with two suitcases and a travel bag. That was two years ago. She hasn't left since. We both do the trips still, but we've never had cause to stay out on the hills overnight again.