The Torment of Stan

Emily hesitantly lifted her eyes to meet his. "You're a teacher now, and I'm a student in your class."

"My best student," he interrupted with a grin.

Tilting her head, she let out a sigh of aggravation.

"I'm sorry, baby, go on." His expression grew serious once more as his green eyes gazed patiently into her blue ones.

Emily broke away from his intent eyes to glance about the room in agitation. "It's just that, you've worked so hard to get where you are, and if someone finds out what we've been doing, if they catch us..."

Dustan lifted a hand to stop her as he lowered his head for a moment. When he raised it again, his expression was determined. "I already know what you're going to say, and it doesn't matter."

Emily frowned as she looked at him. "Of course it matters."

Dustan shook his head. "No. It doesn't. Do you honestly think that I would put my job before you? Do you really think it means more to me than having you with me? It doesn't."

Emily's mouth parted to rebuke his words, but she wasn't quite sure what to say, and after a moment her mouth snapped shut.

Dustan grinned as he looked at her. "I love you, Em. I want you to be my wife someday. This job, any job for that matter, isn't going to stop that from happening. So, stop worrying about it." Leaning forward he lightly pressed his lips against hers.

When he pulled back, her expression was stunned, and it made him smile. "Now, lets talk about something more important. Why didn't you hand in your essay today?"

Emily smirked as she looked at him. "My boyfriend wouldn't leave me alone long enough for me to get any work done," she told him.

He nodded in understanding. "Uh huh. I see. Did you try telling him that it was worth twenty percent of your grade?" he asked sternly.

Emily pressed her lips together as she thought about it. "I believe that I did. If I recall correctly, his response was to snort at me derisively before plucking me out of the kitchen chair, and carrying me caveman style over his shoulder to his bedroom."

"Did you at least try to fight him off?" Dustan asked in amusement.

Emily shook her head. "He's a lot bigger than me. There wasn't really any point."

Dustan nodded slowly as he took in this information. "Was that the only reason?" he asked.

Emily shook her head again as she bit her lip.

"What was your other reason?" he asked silkily.

Taking a deep breath, Emily admitted, "I wanted him."

"Is that so?" Dustan said with interest. Placing his hands on the top of her thighs, he began to rub his palms up and down their length slowly.

Emily bobbed her head in the affirmative. "I don't know if I tell him this often enough, but he is an unbelievably good looking man. Every time that he looks at me it makes me tremble inside."

"He sounds like a lucky guy," Dustan replied gruffly. Slipping his fingers beneath the hem of her skirt, he ran his hands along her bare skin this time. When he reached the top of her thighs, he gripped her hips in his hands, and pulled her against him where he stood between her spread legs.

It made her gasp, and his green eyes became heated as he looked down at her. "Show me where he touched you," Dustan said huskily.

Emily's mouth parted, but she held his gaze as her fingers lifted to undo the top button of her blouse. Moving down to the second, then the third, she opened them all before spreading the material to expose the round curves of her breasts that were confined by her thin, cotton brassiere.

Pulling it down with her hands, her soft, pink nipples came into view as she bared both pale globes to his eyes. "Here," she whispered, as she looked up at him.

He lifted his hand to run a thumb over the peak of one, and watched as it puckered. "Did he suck on them," Dustan inquired.

Emily nodded. "He did it hard. I was begging him to take me by the time he finally stopped," she admitted breathily.

Dustan nodded as he squeezed both of her breasts in his large hands. "Did he give you what you wanted?"

Emily shook her head. "He tried to," she whispered. "I wanted to taste him. As soon as he opened his pants, I had to have him in my mouth. He said something to stop me, but I wanted it too much. I wrapped my lips around him, and pulled him deep. I wanted him to watch me."

Dustan took a shaky breath. His fingers lifted to trail down the side of her neck as he touched her soft skin. "What happened then?" he wondered.

"He let me touch him, taste him, until he couldn't take it anymore, and then he picked me up." she answered softly.

"Did he take you then?" Dustan asked as he looked into her soft, blue eyes.

Emily nodded slowly. "He told me to wrap my legs around him, and when I did, he pressed me against his bedroom wall, and pushed inside of me."

His heated eyes burned brightly in his face as they roamed over her mouth. "How did it feel?" he whispered.

"Amazing," she gasped. "Like my whole body was on fire. I didn't want to let him go."

Dustan smiled as he lowered his mouth to hers. "You never have to, baby," he groaned.

*****

"Mr. Mactore, I'm officer Welks. I've come to talk to you."

Dustan cringed as a grimace passed over his features.

"There are a lot of people who are very concerned about your welfare right now, and it would greatly put them at ease if you would come down from that ledge."

Instead of responding, Dustan kept his head lowered as he watched the traffic go by.

"I know you must be experiencing a great deal of emotional pain at this moment, but this isn't the answer. There's always a better way."

"Do I really have to listen to this shit?" Dustan asked his wife.

"They're here to help you, Stan. Please, try." Emily implored.

"They can't help me," he returned bitterly. "No one can help me, Em."

"Don't say that," she whispered.

"We have people that you can talk to. People that can help. You don't have to go through this alone," Officer Welks told him.

Shaking his head, he pressed his lips together. Inhaling slowly, he stared hard at the building across the street. "I just want to talk to my wife," Dustan finally said.

The officer hesitated before responding. "I understand that. I would just feel a whole lot better if you came down. If something were to happen to you it would be a tragedy."

Dustan choked on a laugh. "My life is a tragedy," he returned.

"Is there someone that I can call? Someone that you want to speak with?" Officer Welks inquired.

Taking a deep breath, Dustan scowled. "I just want to talk to my wife!" he yelled.

Officer Welks eyes widened as he took a retreating step. "Alright. I'll give you a moment." Turning, he re entered the stairwell where his partner Edwards was standing.

"What's the deal?" Edwards asked quietly.

Officer Welks shook his head as he shrugged. "He said he wants to talk to his wife. I didn't want to agitate him further. Lets give him a minute, and then I'll try again."

"Do you think he'll do it?" his partner wondered.

"I think there's a very real possibility that he might," Welks answered. "After reading his bio, I can't really say that I blame the guy. He's had a rough road."

"Poor bastard," Edwards said with a shake of his head.

Welks nodded. "I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. I don't think I would handle it much better than he is right now."

Edwards nodded. "I don't want to have to scrape this guy off the pavement."

"Lets hope it doesn't come to that," Welks returned.

*****

"Why are you here?" Dustan asked defeatedly. "Every other time that I begged you to come, you ignored me."

"I just couldn't," Emily said softly.

"Couldn't, or wouldn't?" he wondered tiredly.

"It's hard for me too, Stan. You're not the only one suffering. I didn't want things to happen this way anymore than you did. It wasn't fair. To either of us."

Tears resurfaced in his pained green eyes as he turned to look at her. "Then why are you trying to stop me? Don't you see that this will fix everything?"

"Killing yourself isn't going to fix this," she breathed.

Tilting his head back, Dustan peered up at the sky as he tried to swallow. "You keep saying that, but you're wrong." When he met her eyes again, his expression was determined. "You can't talk me out of this, Em. It's what I want. I'm tired. I'm so tired."

Emily's face crumbled as she began to cry. "I can't watch you die," she sobbed.

Dustan closed his eyes for a moment before looking down. "You don't have to watch, baby. Look away. It will only take a few seconds, and then it will be over."

When he gripped onto the ledge, and leaned forward, Emily cried out fearfully. "Don't!" she begged. "I love you. I love you so much. Please, Stan. Don't."

Dustan's teeth clamped together, as a growl of aggravation escaped him. It seethed from his mouth in several jagged bursts of breath, and ended with a choked whimper. His chest lifted, and fell heavily as he began to unravel.

"All you're doing is prolonging this. I love you too, baby. More than anything in this world. More than myself, but I need you to leave now. I can't do this with you yelling at me."

Emily stomped her foot in anger. "Then I will stay here forever, and yell until I'm blue in the face," she told him.

A strangled laugh escaped Dustan's mouth at her words.

"What would our son say if he could see you now? Do you think this is what he would want?"

It was the wrong thing to say to him. His breathing increased as his stricken eyes held hers. It grew heavier, and heavier until he was almost hyperventilating. His green eyes reddened as he fought to hold in a sob. His mouth parted, and his entire body tensed as excruciating pain shot through him.

Emily's face fell at his reaction. Reaching up to touch the side of his cheek, he turned his head away roughly as he bent in half in agony.

"Honey, I'm sorry," she whispered helplessly.

Dustan's closed his eyes tightly, and bit down on his lip hard. When he dragged in another breath he almost strangled on it.

"I miss him so much," he whispered brokenly.

"I know, honey. I know you do."

*****

Dustan stretched his arms before opening his eyes. The first thing that occurred to him as he rubbed his face was that his wife was not in bed beside him.

Lifting his head, he listened for any sound that would alert him to her whereabouts, and after a moment he could hear the faint sounds of her moving around inside of the bathroom.

Slipping from the bed, he stretched his neck as he approached the door. When he reached down to turn the handle, he managed to push the door open a few inches before it was quickly shoved closed again.

His brows furrowed in confusion, and then he smiled. "Baby?" he called in amusement. "What are you doing?"

"Don't come in here!" Emily called.

Her voice sounded almost panicked, and Dustan's frown grew along with his confusion. Lifting his hand, he tapped on the wood of the door before leaning in to listen. He heard nothing, and after a moment, he tapped again.

"Is this some kind of woman thing that I don't want to know about?" he asked through the door.

There was a pause before she answered him. "Yes. Something like that," she finally called back.

Dustan's smile became a grin. "I'm kind of dealing with a man problem out here myself, baby. I have to pee. Open up."

"Just one minute!" she yelled.

Rolling his eyes, Dustan took a step back, and let himself fall back onto the mattress. He laid there for roughly a minute before his wife finally opened the bathroom door.

Lifting himself up onto his elbow, he grinned at her as she stood in the doorway wearing nothing but one of his t shirts. Scratching the side of his stubbled face, he looked into her blue eyes.

"You know, baby. I think we've been married long enough that you should be able to take a dump without being embarrassed about it," he said with a laugh.

His wife's expression was stricken as she looked at him. "I'm pregnant," she said quietly.

Not quite expecting that particular response, Dustan stared at her for a full thirty seconds without responding. "Are you sure?" he asked slowly.

Emily nodded. "Pretty sure. The stick had two lines. The box said that's a pretty significant sign."

Dustan's eyes widened dramatically, and then he surprised his wife by grinning. Hopping off the bed, he lunged towards her to grab her face in his hands before leaning down to kiss her mouth. When he pulled away, he smiled down into her surprised face.

"That's wonderful, baby." The elation on his face was apparent.

"You're not mad?" she said in relief.

Dustan pulled his head back as he frowned. "Mad? Why on earth would I be mad?"

Emily bit her lip as she looked up at him. "We've only been married for six months. It's a little early for this kind of thing."

Shrugging off her comment, he pulled her against him, and kissed the top of her head. "I love you. We're married, and I want to have children with you. This isn't a crisis. It's just more of a surprise. You have nothing to worry about," he told her.

Squeezing her to emphasize his statement, he pulled back to look down into her wide blue eyes. "Is this what you want?" he asked warily. "You're not upset are you?"

Emily shook her head to reassure him. "It's kind of a shock. I wasn't really expecting it, but I'm not upset."

Dustan breathed in relief before another smile tilted his lips. "Good. Can I pee now?" he asked in anguish.

Emily laughed before nodding. Releasing her, he darted into the bathroom, and quickly closed the door. When the sound of water splashing reached her ears, she shook her head as she smiled.

"I was thinking of the name, Sasha," she called to him through the door.

"What if it's a boy?" he called back.

"Emily bit her lip as she responded. "I like it for both."

Dustan opened the bathroom door, and lifted his hands to rest on the doorjamb above his head as he leaned forward. "A boy named Sasha. Isn't that kind of like a boy named Sue?" he said in amusement.

Emily shrugged. "It's kind of unique. I've always liked it."

Dustan nodded in agreement. "I'll tell you what. If it's a girl, we'll name her Sasha."

Emily lifted a brow. "And if it's a boy?"

Dustan grinned. "If it's a boy, we'll talk about it some more," he said with a laugh.

Emily scowled at his amused face before clucking her tongue.

"Besides, you can't pick a fight with me right now," he told her as he pushed away from the door. "I just realized something pretty monumental," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Tilting her head back, she looked up into his smug face. "What's that?" she asked curiously.

Leaning down to brush his lips against hers, he pulled back to lift his dark brows. "You're pregnant. Which means I can take you anytime, and anywhere that I want without having to wait for you to put your diaphragm in."

Picking her up, he tossed her onto the bed before leaping on top of her. His bare chest pressed her down into the mattress as his large hands lifted to hold her head in place so that he could hungrily take her mouth.

Slipping his fingers between their bodies, he made quick work of pulling her panties to the side before releasing himself from his pajama bottoms. With little warning, he slammed between her legs with a groan as she gasped, and arched beneath him.

When he lifted his head to look at her, he was fully sheathed inside her body, and there was a satisfied grin upon his face.

Pulling back, he thrust forward hard, and his mouth parted as his eyes closed. "You have no idea how good it feels to be able to do that," he gasped.

Emily bit down on her lip as she bent her knees so that she could lift her hips against his. "Goodbye foreplay," she moaned in amusement. "I heard this happens eventually when you get married."

Dustan laughed as he moved on top of her. "I'll do it the second time. I promise," he reassured her.

Entwining his fingers with hers, he pressed her hands down to the mattress, and took her mouth as he began moving faster.

*****

Dustan had stopped talking altogether. His dazed eyes focused on the street below him, but he wasn't really aware of anything that he was looking at. He felt completely drained. Empty. Like he had nothing else to give.

"Mr. Mactore, I know you think things seem pretty hopeless right now, and that this is your only way out, but there are other options. Please let me help you."

Dustan didn't respond in any way. He was still gripping the ledge in his fingers, and his back was curved as he bent forward to peer down the long drop towards the ground.

Officer Welks took another slow step forward. He was halfway across the rooftop now, and his nervous gaze centered on Dustan's back where he sat precariously. He was worried that at any moment he would just lean a little farther forward, and then he would be gone.

"Don't do something you're going to regret. Things may seem bleak now, but they can change. Five years from now life could be drastically different, and you will have missed it because of a decision you made in haste. Don't give up," he implored.

"Christ," Dustan mumbled. "Can I push him off first before I go?"

"It's nice to see you can joke at a time like this," Emily said with a sigh.

Dustan shook his head slightly before clamping his mouth shut.

"The accident was my fault. I know you blame me," she whispered.

"I don't blame you," he said in a flat tone of voice.

"I should have never driven on that road. It was late, and there was ice. I couldn't stop the car. I tried, but it just slid. No matter what I did it just kept sliding."

"I don't blame you!" he said louder.

Turning to look at her, his expression was angry. "I never for a second thought it was your fault. I've never blamed you for it. There was no way of knowing it was going to happen. It just did."

Grimacing, he turned back to the street. "None of it was your fault. If anything it was mine. I knew it was dangerous to be out in that, and I allowed you to take Sasha and go."

Closing his eyes tightly, his mind was dragged back to the awful night in question. "If I had just stopped you, none of this would have happened. It's not your fault. It's mine."

"Honey, it's not your fault either," she told him softly. "Don't ever think that."

"I should have been with you," he stated dully. "I should have been in that car too."

Emily shook her head to deny his words. "You weren't supposed to be. It wasn't your time."

Dustan lifted his head to look into her sad eyes. "It's my time now, Em. It's why I can see you when I've never been able to before. Don't you see that?"

His tortured gaze held hers as he took another halting breath. "I can't go on living without you anymore. Without Sasha. I'm all alone here now that you're gone. I can't stand it," he gasped.

"It's too hard. I love you so much that going on without you with me is slowly stealing my sanity. I just want to be with my family again," he choked out."

"I want that too," she whispered brokenly. "I just don't want you to sacrifice your life for us."

Dustan shook his head slowly. "I have no life without you. If you love me you'll accept what I'm telling you. I need you on my side when I do this. I need you to hold my hand, because as certain as I am about this, I'm still afraid."

Tears slipped down Emily's face as her eyes dropped to the ground. She nodded slowly because she knew the truth. She had been hoping that she could change it, but she saw now that fighting him was only hurting him more than it was helping.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked softly.

Dustan sighed in relief as he looked at her. "Tell me you love me," he whispered.

Emily lifted her large, blue eyes to his. "I love you, Dustan Mactore. With all of my heart."

The tight feeling in Dustan's chest eased slightly. "Now, tell me that you forgive me."