The Varieties of Transexual Experience Ch. 02

My exciting new perversion

Hello again, baby. I hope everything is well with you. I'm fine. If you remember from the last time I wrote, I'm about 30 months into transition at this point, male-to-female. I can easily pass in public now, as I have years of practice as a bisexual man to draw from. And I've discovered a new sexual fetish, one that I'm very excited with. Let me tell you about it.

I have several dozen pairs of these wonderful vibrating buttplug panties in various colors, and I wear them almost every day I go out en femme. After quite a period of experimentation, they have begun providing me with almost as much sexual pleasure as sex with real people. I know it's perverse, but it's so rewarding that I'm hooked.

I have two types of panties: one is a smooth crotch, and the other has a small male pocket. I have the smooth crotch in various styles: boyshorts, hip huggers, high waisted, and even open assed. The pouch panties are boyshorts in style, they are high waisted and have quite long legs. They're the most comfortable for long term wear of course, as they provide a little less restriction around my ladycock and balls. But they must be worn under the right type of outerwear, like jeans or a long coat, something with a little body to the fabric, or a definite bulge will show. All are made of a thin latex, and are moisture proof. They provide fairly tight constraint for my package, which thankfully is not that large when un-erect. I find if I just tuck my little ladycock under me, splitting my balls to either side of it, the constraint of the panties is enough to flatten out my prominence and provide a beautifully smooth dress line in front.

I've had these garments custom-made for me in Sweden to my specifications, and they're of the highest quality. They're all made one size too small for a super tight fit. All but the assless panties have soft jelly buttplugs attached in the rear exactly where my rosebud opens. The plugs attach to the panty with a narrow neck that's doesn't chafe me between my legs when I walk, but then round out as they penetrate me, where a constriction at the point of penetration keeps them exactly in place. They then expand to a good size up high inside me, small enough to not be uncomfortable but large enough that I know they're there. The buttplugs are shaped for a correct internal anatomical fit and are just long enough to reach up to my prostate, where each one has a tiny vibrating egg sealed within. It took quite a bit of experimentation and back and forth with the manufacturer to get the right fit, length, and angle to provide maximum comfort and pleasure, but it was worth it. The vibrating eggs are so quiet when operating that I cannot hear anything even in a silent room. I don't always turn the vibrator on, as just the sensation of the dildo running up through my well-lubricated cheeks as I move about is quite exciting in itself, keeping me stimulated without vibration. This is fortunate as the small battery pack that fits in the small of my back only lasts about 15 minutes.

I should mention that if I need extra tight control for a super smooth ladylike contour in front, I will double panty. I'll wear the smooth crotch, rear opening panties next to my skin, then a smooth crotch with buttplug over those so that the plug can enter me through the rear opening. If I'm expecting to have some slutty fun with a male partner, I'll wear just the assless panties, with or without standard buttplug. That way, I level my ladycock bump somewhat so I can wear a skirt, but have the option of anal sex without having to take them off should I wish not to reveal my true nature to the gentleman.

I love participating in varied functions en femme with my little friend thrust high up inside me, keeping my attention on my sensitive posterior and my level of sexual tension high. When I'm bored, I've learned to covertly squeeze and flex my buttocks and prod my miniature intruder just enough to cause a very pleasurable feeling in my entire pelvic area. Or I'll turn on the vibrator for a minute or two and get really thrilled. As I sit meek and ladylike in public with my elegant legs demurely crossed, my hair and makeup faultless, no one knows that under my sophisticated couture my luscious little buns are encased by tight rubber lingerie and split apart by a carefully concealed and lubricated latex cock. That its supple shaft is distending my dainty derriere and buzzing it's deeply thrust head against my sensitive prostate. And that as poised and modest as I appear, I am so sexually aroused that my tightly restrained ladycock is streaming pre-cum and just jumping with excitement, ready to detonate with huge gouts of hot femsperm. To be constantly stimulated like this changes my view of the people in my world in a way that I'm very fond of. It's like looking at everyone, men and women, through an erotic lens that redefines all of their actions.

Of course all this sexual pressure has to be released, and I do so love to release inside my delightfully confining panties every chance I get. I absolutely adore the feeling of my smoothly shaven boyparts and my sensitive rosebud slithering around in a warm slippery puddle of my own honey after I have squirted in public. I often enjoy this surreptitious pleasure en femme while shopping at the mall. I love watching the beautiful teenage boys walk around with their big, potent things bulging in their pants. I can identify with exactly what they're feeling. Their cocks are going through cycles of hardening and softening as they watch the girls, just as mine is. I can share in the primal desire for penetration welling up inside them. I know we are all leaking precum into our underwear as we long almost painfully for sexual release. I love fantasizing about having their hard studs penetrate me over and over until we both spurt. Some of them even eye me up, as they should at their precocious age, and I'm sure I could seduce some of them if I wanted to. I also enjoy watching the lovely busty girls stroll around as they watch the guys. Their hips sway so beautifully as they display their asses for them. I know that their pussy lips are sliding together, pink and wet beneath their panties, opening slightly and resealing liquidly as they strut. They're creaming in their jeans, too, thinking about all that sturdy cock moving around us. Little do they know that I could and would love to fill their little twats and tight asses with my hot ladycum. My god, it's intoxicating! I can turn on my vibrator and cum hard in two seconds watching the bisexual show, and I do!

Needless to say, I have become an expert in ejaculating in public. I never seem to have any problem cumming without gaining a full erection, not that I could get completely rigid with my boyparts 'tucked under' inside that ultra-tight rubber. I also know that the moisture-proof material snugly hugging my thighs will trap my ladysperm delightfully against my bottom, and that I won't be embarrassed. I've tested this by taking a pee inside my panties in the tub, and confirmed that they will hold quite a lot of liquid without leaking.

I love to wear my 'cock panties' in the movies and secretly orgasm amid the large and lovely men and women of the silver screen. Sometimes I'll cum twice during one show if I can sit behind a beautiful woman. The scent of her perfume and the sight of her face and hair in the darkness will get me off the first time, and if I can furtively spread my legs and reach under my skirt to tickle my member and delicate nutsack through my panties with my fingernails, I'll climax again. My hairdresser is privy to my secret and is mad about watching me wriggle uncontrollably and cum quietly in his chair while he does my hair, and I love doing it for him. Once I climaxed with a newfound lesbian dance partner while we slow danced in a club, enthralled in each other's grasp and kissing intimately. She knew that I was cumming in her arms, as I couldn't hide my mind-blowing orgasm from someone that close, but she never suspected I wasn't a genetic girl until later that night!

I can cum anywhere! Walking through the crowds downtown at rush hour, en femme, seeing the beautiful secretaries returning home to their horny men to be soundly screwed will turn me on enough to make me stop and hold onto a utility pole as I give myself a thirty second buzz and squirt inside my panties. Or I'll sit in the lobby of a bank and flirt with the young suits as they pass on the way to make their deals. Catching their eyes and their smiles and knowing that their cocks are hardening inside their trousers as they appraise my sophisticated beauty is stimulating enough to have me shivering with orgasm as I slowly flex my buttocks on the bench, fucking myself gently with my little buzzing friend. When I ride in a bus or taxi, the bumps of the vehicle transmitted up through my little rubber dong easily provide enough inducement to get me off. I've orgasmed in museums and restaurants and public parks, the opera or the grocery store or the beach or the ballgame, it doesn't matter. My favorite chameleon trick is just sitting quietly with my unfocused eyes on my phone. I'm completely inconspicuous as I've learned to maintain a completely impassive face and dispassionate body posture while experiencing the throes of sexual climax. The fact that I am in ecstasy while my neighbors are unaware and drudging through their normal routines offers me no end of amusement.

One of the great side effects of the experimental female hormone therapy I'm undergoing, is that I've discovered an ability to experience a form of 'multiple orgasms' such as genetic women do. After a day of sexual tension, sometimes I can look at a magazine picture, or watch a beautiful person walk by, or even just concentrate on something sexy and I will orgasm completely hands free without using the vibrator. This is the best kind of orgasm, brought on by the mind alone. If I'm disciplined I can cause an orgasm like this to result in a very drawn-out climax, where I will reach my peak and spasm a little, then just stop and maintain a high state of tension, my little dicky and backdoor twitching with nervous pleasure for many minutes. I've observed this type of orgasm in myself at home without clothing, and I know that my ladycockhead is literally shiny purple with excitement, expanded to the maximum, femsperm oozing out slowly as I balance on a knife edge, having an occasional contraction in my bottom that reaches up high inside me, but not quite ejaculating. The pleasure I experience on this plateau is not completely orgasmic, but it's very close, and can go on for many minutes. During this balancing act the slightest touch anywhere on my super-sensitive body will cause an explosive release of ladysperm, and I have to be very careful, even with what I allow myself to think, if I want the lovely feeling to persist. Occasionally I'll force my exhilaration to die back, and after long practice and strong willpower I can allow myself to slowly descend without cumming. Other times my orgasm will start all by itself, the feeling of my ass muscles shivering around my buttplug or the pleasant tautness of the panties embracing my bottom becomes too much for me. Sometimes I'll succumb to desire and force myself over the edge by turning on the vibrator and visualizing a recent lover's beautifully erect cock as it spreads me open to ravish me. And let me emphasize, cumming after many minutes on this seesaw is a monumental affair. My internal muscles will tense tighter and tighter until they are literally quivering with excitement. Then something triggers inside me and an astonishing release of the built-up tension explodes in my tummy like a unbearable sunburst and I'll crash down, my body wildly pumping load after load of sweet syrup against my pretty little derriere. The feeling of flooding my asscrack and balls inside my panties with luscious liquid heat as waves of ecstasy surge through my entire body is indescribable.

I have spurted inside my 'passion panties' as many as four times in a single day. On that occasion I had given three extremely exciting and rewarding bathroom blowjobs to some very attractive but unaware men at a cocktail party. I was very turned on, and every time my gentlemen friends reached climax inside my mouth, so did I inside my panties. My entire underside was literally drenched in femsperm after my third ejaculation. It was the feeling of my warm seed squishing between my asscheeks as I walked home that night that gave me an uncharacteristic massive erection. My well lubricated member had uncontrollably slipped from its normal ladylike position and was thrust upright hard against my tummy pointing at my navel. It was extremely noticeable under my tight skirt. The friction of my bulging sex held snugly inside my panties was so electrifying that I had to turn on the vibrator for some relief. I stopped and held onto a fence as my body produced yet another shattering orgasm. I moaned softly that time I'm afraid, unmindful of my surroundings, and drew some strange looks from the passersby. It was very exciting!

I must say that I'm so grateful that I've discovered this little innovation that has brought so much novelty and richness to my sex life. I've never hurt anyone, and my fetish has given me and others much happiness. It has become my perfect personal blend of masculine and feminine sexual perversity.

Write me. I'd love to hear about your adventures.