There and Back Again Ch. 125-126

Aedan lifted the chalice, disturbing the murky contents, and the smell of darkspawn blood, so familiar to me after a year of fighting them, wafted across the room. Sigrun's eyes widened as she seemed to realise what was expected of her; Seranni just nodded to herself resignedly.

"Sigrun, you are called upon to submit yourself to the taint."

The dwarf glanced at me, expression slightly panicked.

"It's going to be fine," I whispered reassuringly. "Go on."

Aedan handed her the chalice. She frowned, shrugged, and then lifted it to her lips. I remembered the burn of that disgusting drink, and I winced sympathetically as she gagged at the taste. Aedan snatched the chalice back quickly as Rolan stepped forward smoothly. Sigrun coughed, grabbed her throat, and then screamed; her eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped into Rolan's arms.

I stepped forward, feeling her breath on my fingers at the same time I sensed the taint flowing through her veins -- hers reminded me of the sensation of hugging a furry teddy bear. "She's fine."

Rolan settled her on the little couch, as Aedan turned to Seranni.

"Seranni, step forward. For the greater good," he added, as she took the chalice.

She seemed almost eager, and I could see why; she'd lost some more hair, and the blackened veins were up past her elbow. Her skin was coated in a fine sheen of sweat, her complexion sallow, and her lips pale. It was clear to me she didn't have long, and I wondered if she felt worse than she looked. The elf grimaced at the thick, smelly fluid, and took a breath. With one last look around, she smiled softly and drank.

I held my breath as she handed the cup back to Aedan; she went through the same set of actions as Sigrun: grabbing her throat, screaming; but as she fell, something different happened. Instead of going limp, she jerked against Alim, who cursed as he almost dropped her. Alistair jumped forward and the two men stabilised her and lowered her to the floor. She was flopping like a fish, mouth open in a silent scream, twitching; her back arched off the floor, her head rolling from side to side, her arms and legs thrashing, her breathing ragged and wet. Her head snapped back and made sickening contact with the floor; one arm knocked against a table leg. I'd never seen anything like it.

Aedan and Alistair traded startled looks that weren't so much shocked as worried. Aedan grabbed a pillow off a nearby settee, propping the seizing woman's head on it to keep her from banging it again. Alistair moved the nearby table. Their actions spoke of experience, like they'd done that before. Alim just stared at the seizing girl, as did Rolan from near Sigrun, unconscious on the couch.

"What?" I asked. "What is it? Why's she doing that?"

Aedan looked over at me, a mask of careful neutrality coming over his features. "How many Wardens can you sense in this room, Alim?" he asked, never taking his eyes off me. It was clear the question wasn't meant only for the mage. I shifted my attention to my senses and counted.

I could feel Alistair, my personal sunshine; Aedan and his crushing duty; Alim, agitated and angry; Rolan, suspicious and insecure; and Sigrun's new fuzzy taint signature. From down the hall I could sense more, muted by distance, but in the room with me, I counted five.

I gasped. Aedan nodded. Alistair reached out for my hand, almost unconsciously pulling me close, just as Alim's puzzled voice replied, "Four. Aedan, Alistair, Rolan, and Sigrun. With me that's five. Only...only five. I can't sense her."

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Six: Warden Weirdness

"I can't sense Seranni." Alim's voice sounded confused.

Rolan was shaking his head, clearly in agreement with the inability to sense the elf. I restrained myself from making the same movement; Rolan and Alim weren't supposed to know I could sense the taint at all. I was guessing by the slightly ill-looking expressions on my husband's and brother's faces that they couldn't feel her either.

The blond elf continued to flop around, her seizure ongoing. A loud thump from her booted foot hitting the floor brought us all back, leaping into action.

"Alim, do what you can to heal Seranni. Rolan, take Sigrun up to an empty room to rest. Do not speak to anyone -- not one person, you hear? -- and stay with Sigrun until we send for you." My brother started barking orders, and we all leapt to obey. "Sierra, can you get Anders? Quietly. And send a servant to Sigrun's room with some food -- she'll need it when she wakes."

I nodded and bolted out of the room, Rolan right behind me with the unconscious dwarf in his arms. I peeled off to the right to get Anders from the dining room while the former templar headed up the nearest stairs.

I found one of the Vigil's servants laying out food in the dining room, and asked her to arrange to send up two Warden-sized meals, a pint of ale, and a skin of fresh water to Sigrun's room, before weaving my way through the mass of Wardens and Legionnaires looking for Anders. Trevian caught my eye as I passed; I gave him a nod, and he smiled, confirming what I'd guessed -- he knew not everyone survived becoming a Warden, and he had been worried. Given the mutual respect between Wardens and the Legion, it made sense he'd know, but still I was surprised.

I managed to avoid Velanna, who I spotted only for a moment, standing awkwardly in a corner brooding; I had no idea what to tell her, so I was glad to be able to put it off. I ran into Zevran, who'd been flirting outrageously with one of the Legionnaires, enjoying his blushing embarrassment; with a quick promise to tell him everything later, I asked the Antivan to go watch over Rolan and make sure no one else spoke to the former templar.

Finally I found Anders. He was in the middle of some story about a cat -- probably the one possessed by a demon back at Kinloch, if the appreciative giggles were anything to go by -- and I interrupted him, telling him I needed his help for something personal. Solona and Leli, standing nearby, giggled and raised their eyebrows at me; I returned their smiles automatically, but knew there was no chance I'd fooled Leliana, at least. Not explaining this later is going to be just a thrill.

The mage followed me out of the dining room, bemused smile on his face, until he got to the room where Alim was pouring magic into Seranni, while Aedan and Alistair watched helplessly. Her flopping had stopped while I was gone, and now she just looked pale -- pale as death, her breaths shallow and rasping.

Anders dropped to his knees beside Alim without a word and began one of his glowy diagnostic scans.

Alim gasped and let his healing stop, panting. "I've no idea if anything I did helped." He and the healer held a brief, whispered conversation I couldn't follow, something to do with life force and energy, and then Anders was the one healing the elf.

"So this is what I looked like?" I whispered, tucking myself between Alistair and Aedan.

My husband wrapped his arm around my shoulder while Aedan gripped my hand hard, eyes wide. "Worse," Alistair replied; I felt Aedan shudder. "You seized for longer, and when you were done, you were barely breathing at all."

"So she should just wake up, and everything will be fine."

"Except she's not a Warden -- not really. How do we even begin to explain this to the others? To her sister? What if you were just lucky, and she doesn't wake up? A death we could explain to Velanna. She knew the risk. But this...is something else." Aedan looked beyond freaked out. I squeezed his hand.

"I don't understand. It made sense -- sort of -- for you, with the whole magic resistance, being from somewhere else thing. But this..." Alistair rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

I thought about it. What made Seranni different from anyone else? I couldn't remember much about her from the game, other than that, as a ghoul, she actually kept her mind; I recalled thinking that was unusual for a ghoul, and blaming the Architect -- after all, hadn't he done something similar to Genevieve and her brother Bregan in 'The Calling'?

The germ of an idea formed.

"What if..." I hesitated, thinking frantically. "I mean, the darkspawn don't normally kidnap people, right? Unless they're looking to make a new broodmother, which supposedly the Architect isn't. It seemed strange he would keep her with him. Utha, it made sense -- he could use her blood for research. Seranni wasn't a Grey Warden -- what would he need a random ghoul for? But, what if...what if there was something about her that was different? Maybe...the Architect targeted her for some reason? We know he can manipulate the taint...Perhaps she has some trait that makes her resist the taint? Maybe we both do? Maybe that's why he wanted her, and that's why no one can sense me. Maybe that's why he sent me away."

Aedan and Alistair were both staring at me, fear and horror written clearly across their faces as I talked my way through the random pieces of information that were slotting themselves into place in my mind. As I waited for a response, I suddenly realised it was much too quiet, and I could no longer feel Anders' healing magic. I looked up to see the two mages staring at me, mouths agape. And of course, they heard that. Nicely done, Sierra. I could feel my face flushing under their scrutiny.

"You...you're a Warden?" Anders was the first to recover, expression curious but guarded.

I sighed. "Yes. Sort of. I'm like her -- I took the Joining, but no one can sense me."

He stood, glancing critically between me and the elf, who now appeared to be resting easily. "But you have Warden abilities?" I hesitated, and he continued. "Of course you do. That's why you can stand watch. It's why you were on the list of those who could slay the Archdemon. And why you eat like the rest of us. I never put it all together, but it's obvious, in retrospect. When did you Join? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I'll explain everything later, I promise. But first -- is she okay?" I gestured at the elf laying at his feet.

"I've no idea," he replied, shrugging. "I'll assume it's a good thing the seizures stopped. I can't find anything wrong to explain what's happening, and healing made no difference. I think we're just going to have to wait and see."

Aedan sighed, tugging at his usually impeccable brown hair, which was becoming wilder by the minute. "What do we do next? The last thing we need is Weisshaupt learning we have Wardens who aren't normal Wardens. Honestly, after our last meeting, they'll say they have all the justification they need for kidnapping one of you. Both of you! And then they get two things they want -- people to experiment on, and something to use as leverage to bring us back into the fold."

Alim joined the conversation. "That's why you didn't tell anyone. You were afraid Weisshaupt would want you, to experiment on you."

I nodded, glancing back and forth between Alim and Anders, suddenly afraid for my new, tenuous friendships. "You have to understand, it wasn't that we didn't trust you. We didn't know we'd be separating from Weisshaupt. We had Riordan, Loghain, and Dougal to think about. We couldn't know who would accidentally let things slip, and we didn't want other people to have to lie for me.

"I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as a lab rat in Weisshaupt like Fiona." At their puzzled glances, I huffed in frustration. "Never mind. I just..."

Alistair interrupted me. "Fiona! Andraste's flaming butt cheeks!" He slapped himself in the forehead dramatically.

"What?"

"I was just thinking...if there were two people who aren't 'normal' Wardens, why aren't there more? And then you said Fiona..."

I gasped. "Fiona's taint is 'gone'. What if it's not? What if we've got it backward -- he didn't target us, he did something to us? We know he did something to Fiona that strangely accelerated her taint, leaving it 'gone' when it was over, and he did something to me too. It was his darkspawn that attacked Seranni."

Aedan cleared his throat, looking at me and then pointedly at Alim. "We can speculate later -- or better, catch the bastard and question him -- but none of this helps us. What do we do with her? And there are a few too many people in on this secret for comfort now, not to mention too many who saw Seranni and know she was tainted."

"I won't tell anyone." Anders smirked. "Who'd believe me anyway? And I have no desire to be 'questioned' by Weisshaupt. It's Rolan you've got to worry about."

"Fake her death?" Alim suggested. "Rolan isn't here, and we can keep quiet -- though I admit I have some questions." He raised his eyebrow at me expectantly, and I sighed and nodded. "Send her off with her sister. I don't know where; she can't go back to her clan. But send her somewhere, and tell Rolan she didn't make it."

I looked at the elf anew in appreciation. "You're crafty." I looked back at Aedan. "We'd need to make a pyre, find a body to burn, and maybe fake Velanna having a fit and leaving. We could send her to Soldier's Peak for now -- I'm sure Avernus would be more than happy to meet someone else like me -- and then send her on from there."

"To where, though? She can't stay at the Keep; we're all going to relocate there eventually." Alistair rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "Too many people might recognise her. Maybe Lanaya? She owes us a favour."

"I may have another idea for you," came a voice I wasn't expecting to hear. When I glanced down, Seranni's eyes were open, and she had raised a shaky arm over her head to block out the light. "Oh, ugh. That was awful."

I dropped to my knees beside the elf, taking her hand and leaning over to cast a shadow over her no-doubt-tender eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible, I'm not going to lie. But given I couldn't be sure I'd survive -- and you all weren't sure I'd ever wake -- I'll take it."

I laughed. It was a sheer relief to see her awake and believe she would eventually recover. Holding her hand still, I pulled her to a sitting position; someone handed me a water skin, and she took it from me gratefully, chugging half the contents in one go.

"So you heard all that, then?" Aedan asked.

She nodded, still swishing the water through her mouth -- trying to rinse out the taste, I guessed. I remember that foul flavour. "Think so. You guys can't sense me, though you should be able to. She," the elf gestured at me, "is the same, there might be a third, and something called the Architect is to blame? Weisshaupt will have a fit if they find out. Also, something something about another world, though I've no idea what that means."

I laughed and pushed myself to my feet, and Aedan helped me pull Seranni to hers, allowing her to settle on the nearby couch.

"Don't worry about it." I sighed and ran my hand through my tangled, curly hair. "And the Architect is the first talking darkspawn -- he created the others by perverting the Joining ritual and making darkspawn drink Grey Warden blood. So you said you had an idea?"

She nodded. "The problem, as I see it, is that Weisshaupt will want to examine anyone who's 'different'. Right?" She waited for all of us to nod our confirmation. "So let them. I can't go home, I can't stay here -- why shouldn't I go to Weisshaupt?"

Aedan, Alistair, Alim, and Anders all reacted to that loudly, taking over each other, declaring reasons why she shouldn't go; I just watched her, eyes wide with shock.

Seranni held up her hand. "I don't have to tell them I'm not the only one. I won't even mention this Fiona. I don't think they'll kill me, will they?"

Everyone looked at me. I shrugged helplessly. "They didn't kill Fiona. She's an elf, a Warden who the Architect did something to and somehow, her taint went away. That's not to say they couldn't -- but I don't know why they would. They learn more if you're alive. But you don't have to do this. Not for me."

She smiled at me shyly. "You all saved me -- from the darkspawn, then from the taint. I am a Grey Warden now, right? So I might as well be of use. Here, I'm a danger to you. I can't go home. So I might as well go and see if I can help in some other way. You just have to promise to look after my sister."

A lot more discussion on the subject ensued, but nothing anyone said could dissuade the elf from her self-appointed path. I couldn't decide whether to be frightened for her, impressed by her, or worried about the implications for myself and the Grey Wardens in general. What if they tried to keep her against her will? What if they decided that vivisection would provide more information than a live body? What if they went after Fiona, or she accidentally revealed my existence? I finally had to excuse myself, stepping outside and hyperventilating in the hallway.

Only to look up and see Velanna standing in the hallway, scowling; her face paled when she noted a few stray tears streaking down mine.

"No, Velanna -- she's fine. She survived," I gasped.

The elf's stiff posture relaxed the slightest bit, and her frown eased. "What is wrong, then?"

I hesitated, finally deciding we might as well get it over with. I wiped the tears away and gestured to Velanna to follow me. I could hear the group inside still talking before I opened the door, and banged loudly as I did to ensure they got the hint.

"Guys? Velanna is here."

I stepped aside, and Velanna entered, immediately pulling Seranni into an embrace. They whispered to each other in elven for a few moments, before Velanna turned to face us.

"You have saved my sister. I know I have been less than pleasant, but despite that, you helped her. I thank you." Aedan grimaced and Alistair looked down, avoiding eye contact; Seranni shifted at her side, and Velanna turned to me. "What are you not telling me?"

"May I have a moment with my sister? Please?" Seranni interrupted any response I could have given. We all agreed, reluctantly, nodding respectfully to our new sister as we left.

Out in the hall, Aedan pulled Alim and Anders aside. "Not a word about Sierra, either of you. Understand?"

Both mages nodded. "I promise." Anders squeezed my hand. "I'm quite pleased to have another sister, and I wouldn't jeopardise that."

Alim smiled at me. "I've kept bigger secrets for you when I was still living at the Circle."

I chuckled. Alim and Anders took their leave, heading back to the main hall for food. Alistair pulled me into a tight hug.

"You okay?"

I sniffed, pressing my nose into the crease of his neck, enjoying the comfort he offered. "Too many 'what if's' for my liking."

Aedan grunted in agreement. "Can't do anything about it now. Seranni going to Weisshaupt will hopefully keep them occupied for a while. I had better go deal with Rolan, and then we need to explain to the rest of our Wardens what is happening. If she's going to Weisshaupt, then at least everyone else can find out what happened."

Aedan headed up to Sigrun's room, and Alistair and I found an unoccupied nook inside a random nearby room to sit and cuddle for a bit until my emotions settled. Finally we joined the rest in the dining room; once everyone had eaten, Aedan ushered the Legion out, and brought in Seranni and Sigrun.

The Wardens cheered, welcoming the two new members; I watched faces to see who noticed the lack of taint palpable in Seranni. At first, no one seemed to, but then I noticed Conrad wrinkling his brow in confusion. Then I saw Wulf looking around, scratching one long, pointed ear absentmindedly. Before too many others caught on, Aedan cleared his throat and asked for everyone's attention.

He explained to the baffled crowd that, for some reason we couldn't explain -- but were blaming on the Architect -- something strange had happened at Seranni's Joining, and that while we believed she was still a Grey Warden, we wouldn't be able to feel her taint.