There and Back Again Ch. 023-024

Alistair looked at me, puzzled. "Uncle?"

I laughed. "A saying from home. If you were losing a game, or say got pinned while wrestling, the other person would make you 'cry uncle' before accepting your surrender."

"Is that like 'not the face'?" I chortled, never expecting to hear those words from Alistair's lips.

"Not exactly. But, uh, yeah. I surrender. I'm far too useless this evening for any more training. Can we try again tomorrow?"

"Of course." His smile turned into a frown mixed with a glower, and I suddenly knew who had approached me from behind while we talked. I tried to give him a reassuring smile, and was rewarded with a skeptical snort. Zevran hovered, so I gave Alistair a 'be nice' look, and turned my attention to the assassin standing beside me.

"May we talk?" I nodded at Alistair, who grimaced again and slowly walked away.

"What can I do for you, Zevran?"

"Our Grey Warden has explained to me how you know so much about me. This...performance? ...of yours. I find myself intrigued. He tells me that you knew about the ambush I set up. And it would seem you know some things about me, as well."

I nodded. "In the performance...eventually, you befriended Aedan and told him the truth."

Zevran scoffed. "I do not have friends."

I smiled softly. "Never? What about Taliesen? Rinna? You cannot claim never to have cared about anyone. Your life has been terrible, Zev, and not even those few you've cared about have been really good friends, but...you are capable of respect. Trust. Love, even. I know it, even if you don't. You wear sex and assassination as a mask, trying to protect what's inside. It won't be easy for you to believe, on day one, but you will come to care for these people, and they for you. And you will learn who you really are, not who the Crows forced you to be."

Zevran stared at me for a few minutes, looking truly disconcerted. That was an expression I'm sure no one else had ever seen on that handsome face. In the game, he was unruffle-able. He was all calm pragmatism and mercenary decision-making. Messing with him was going to be kind of fun, I decided, although I thought I might wait until he was a little bit more comfortable. I was fairly certain his sex jokes weren't going to exasperate me the way they did everyone else - they were actually pretty tame in my world, even more so after being raised in foster care. I wondered how he would take to someone who could give as well as she got.

I took pity on him, finally. "It's okay, Zev. You don't have to believe me right now. Just carry on and let things happen as they will. But I know a little bit about being raised without the ability to trust. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here." I stood up, patted him on the shoulder, and walked away to find Aedan's tent. I pointed to Wynne's old one, letting Zevran know that he could sleep there, and then found my goal. I tried to ignore the looks I got from Wynne, Alistair, and Zevran as I crawled in to finally go to sleep.