There and Back Again Ch. 027-028

We talked a bit about Flemeth; in the game, I felt like it was some sort of manipulation on the part of Morrigan when she asked me to kill the elder witch. But it was clear, talking to her, just quietly one on one, that she was absolutely terrified of her mother. We couldn't decide, between us, which was worse - not to have parents, or have a mother and find out she only wanted you so she could steal your body. I also asked if she thought her mother would know anything about me, or who I was and where I came from. She thought not - her mother had told her of visions of what was to come, including the fact that only two Grey Wardens survived Ostagar and that one of them would die to end the Blight without the blood magic ritual, and also of Ferelden in civil war without a King; she never mentioned me or my strange abilities, nor did she know that Duncan and Cailan survived.

I asked her what she intended to do if the Grey Wardens turned her down when she offered the blood magic ritual that could save whoever took the killing blow. As per the game, she indicated she would likely leave; her only reason for being part of the battle was to end up pregnant with an Old God. I spent some time talking to her about friendship and safety in groups, and hoped she might consent to stick around. She left the question unanswered, but it wasn't a direct 'no', either. I'll take it.

"So...the whiny Chantry boy."

"What? What about him?"

"I will not claim to understand why, but 'tis obvious how you feel about the simpleton."

"I..."

"And I do not understand. He does seem to return the feeling, and I dare say some experience in adult relations would benefit him; you are not entangled with anyone else, that I can see. So why have you not just bedded him?"

"It's not that easy, really."

"But it is! He is attractive enough if you like that sort of thing, and you are a beautiful woman; quit mooning over him, go lay with him, and then you can leave it behind. Be done with him."

"Oh, Morrigan. If I didn't care for him, that might work. But I wouldn't be able to leave it behind, and yet staying with him isn't really an option either. Have you never had something you were unable to get out of your system completely? Remaining unrequited is all I can do."

"'Tis up to you, but if watching it is driving me crazy, I can't imagine what it must be like for you."

"I...thanks, I think."

We ended up reading quietly together for a while. I picked up some adventure book written for children, smiling as I leafed through it. That was where everyone else found us when they returned from their various pastimes. Teagan joined us briefly. Eamon was awake, and was slowly being brought up to speed on the events that had gotten us here. He was still exhausted and was (understandably) devastated about Connor, and didn't feel well enough to face everyone immediately; Teagan hoped he would come down the following day, so we could plan before we left Redcliffe. The rest of us ate supper together and then retired early.

Solona remained quiet and aloof, her expression revealing nothing. She just watched everything, giving the impression of filing it away for future examination. She had yet to decide whether to join the Grey Wardens, and I supposed that left her somehow feeling distant from our little group.

I knew I wasn't ready to sleep, and Leliana had gone off for a walk or something, so I wandered. I didn't want to run into Theron, although I knew at some point I was going to have to deal with him, and finally decided to go track down Aedan and see if he wanted to talk for a while. I found his room and knocked softly on the door.

"Who is it?" His voice sounded strained; I wondered if he was upset.

"It's me. Sierra. Can I come in?"

"No! Uh, one second."

I heard rustling and what might have been whispering, and after a minute, the door opened a crack. Aedan was shirtless, looking slightly...rumpled. I raised one eyebrow.

"Everything okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. I was just bored. Thought I'd see if you wanted to chat. But I can see you're...busy." His chest was strategically blocking my sight into the room, and I thought I could guess why. I smirked and waggled my eyebrows at him suggestively. "We can talk tomorrow."

"You sure? If you need something..." His face was crimson.

"No, I'm good. Goodnight, Aedan."

The door closed, and I whispered to myself. "Goodnight, Zev."

Unsure what to do with myself, I found myself staring at Alistair's door. I was about to slink away when I heard footsteps down the hall and looked left to see him approaching. Great, now I look like I've been lurking outside his door.

"Sierra?"

"Hey. I, um, thought maybe we could practice? I'm bored and not tired yet."

He nodded agreeably. "Come on in."

His room was small and neat, and he offered me the only chair then settled himself cross-legged on the bed.

"So what would you do at home if you were bored?"

"Often? Play this...performance."

"More than once?"

"Well, yeah...it was possible to make different decisions and change the story. Like, for example, instead of going to the Circle for help with Connor, we could also have allowed Jowan to perform a blood magic ritual that would have rescued him at the cost of Isolde's life. Or we could have helped Greagoir obtain and carry out the Right of Annulment instead of trying to save the mages. It made it interesting to try more than once."

"I can't help but find the whole thing entirely creepy."

"Me too, now that I know it's real. It would be sort of like...writing a book you thought was about imaginary characters, only to wake up one morning and find yourself in the middle of it."

"You know, most people would probably have curled up into a ball and waited to die, doubting their sanity the whole time."

"Don't think I didn't consider it. But I decided that if I wasn't insane, doing nothing was going to get me - and everyone else - in trouble so it didn't cost me anything to assume it was real." He smiled at me. "Besides. I woke up in really uncomfortable places, for the most part. If I'd been somewhere with a feather bed I might have been more inclined to wallow in self-pity."

He laughed. "So you're a 'fair-weather' omnipotent companion?" I laughed too.

We chatted for a while longer until I caught myself yawning.

"You know, it seems I'm not going to be of any use practicing. I suppose I might as well go to bed after all."

"Goodnight Sierra. Thanks for the talk."

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The "Plan"

The next morning, we heard that Eamon would be meeting with everyone after lunch. So I donned my armour and went down to the practice yard, and spent the morning impressing Wayne with how much I had learned. He grudgingly admitted that I wouldn't be completely useless in a fight, and might even have a chance of defending myself. It was high praise coming from him.

I had a quick bath before lunch and then ate in a rush, eager to finally meet Eamon and figure out The Plan. And I was curious to see whether the fans who thought he was an opportunistic jerk or those who thought he was a nice guy who lacked tact dealing with suboptimal circumstances were correct. Everyone else seemed to be feeling the same anticipation; we were all nervous energy and forced joviality as we waited in the by-now familiar library. Solona was absent, as was Jowan, and I was sure that was by design.

Teagan helped Eamon in, and we all stood and bowed slightly as the shuffling, exhausted looking Arl entered and was seated. Theron shook his hand and clapped him gently on the shoulder, and Tomas, Alistair, and Aedan all shook hands as well. Then he turned to those of us he hadn't met, and Teagan performed introductions.

"Wynne, mage of the Fereldan Circle. Shale, a golem, obviously. Zevran, Antivan Crow. Leliana, lay sister of the Chantry. Morrigan, mage from the Korcari Wilds. Sten of the Beresaad. And...Sierra."

Eamon nodded at us as our names were called, and 'Your Grace' was muttered by each of us in turn. Studying Eamon, it was clear the poison had taken its toll on him, but there was raw intelligence behind his eyes, and I could tell he would remember every word spoken. He'd obviously been warned about our eclectic group - he didn't even blink when a golem and a Qunari were introduced.

His voice was slightly hoarse from disuse, and he stated that he'd heard Teagan's version of events, but wanted to hear ours. Theron, Tomas, and Aedan all started talking at once, to everyone's amusement, and I watched Eamon's eyes widen as, with a glance, Theron and Tomas both allowed Aedan to talk. We all know who our leader is, rank and years be damned. I grinned. I noticed he conspicuously left out any details regarding my templar abilities, and I found that interesting. Maybe he doesn't entirely trust Eamon either? He referred to me as his sister, without explaining that at all, and I almost giggled as Alistair's and Eamon's eyebrows tried to climb into their hairlines. Eamon asked a number of expected questions about me, and seemed vaguely unsatisfied with the answers as it was obvious Aedan was side-stepping some of the pertinent information, but I knew that I didn't have anything personal to go on to convince him. I decided to keep quiet and let Aedan field the questions as much as possible.

Finally we were up to date, and then Tomas cut in with what he'd discovered in Denerim. Eamon listened carefully, interrupting only a couple of times for clarification. Finally, he turned to me.

"Well, my Lady-"

"Just Sierra, Your Grace. Please."

"Sierra then. You have managed a considerable feat - convincing my brother, Duncan, and King Cailan of your origin and sincerity. I am impressed."

"You mean skeptical, not impressed, Your Grace. It's okay. I understand. It's sort of an insane story, isn't it? It's true, none-the-less."

Teagan cut in. "It's hard not to believe when you see her disappear into thin air right in front of you."

"Or predict exactly who and what we'll be fighting, where a deactivated golem is hiding and the correct activation phrase, and how to find the location of the Ashes which cured you, Your Grace." Aedan jumped in. I smiled at him and Teagan both.

"So how about this then: what happens next?"

"Well, I can't exactly say. I mean, I've changed events already. Between Tomas and Theron, and the fact that it should have taken at least a month more to get the Ashes and bring them back...I know roughly what challenges we will face as we try to gather allies for the battle against the Archdemon, but as for what will happen with the human politics in Ferelden, or when the final battle might be, I'd say that's all up in the air."

"So you're saying your knowledge is useless to us." Everyone in the room looked a little irritated, but I held up my hand to forestall the peanut gallery.

"No, your Grace. I'm saying that we have free will, and we can yet decide our fate to some extent. If I've proven anything by coming here, it's that things can change. My knowledge just gives us some idea of how we may wish to go about making those changes."

"Cailan has suggested we just march on Denerim and prove he still lives, and that will be Loghain's downfall. I've half a mind to go along with it, really, but I know Duncan is very much against it, as is Teagan, both because of you. Why?"

"Well, Your Grace, I am only speculating, but here are my thoughts. Loghain has already committed treason and tried to get Cailan killed, blaming it on the Grey Wardens. He's afraid of you, and already tried to have you murdered as well. Whatever his reasons, his only hope of holding onto his power - and his life - is if Cailan doesn't survive to tell the truth. He has the manpower to have the roads watched; if there was any whisper of Cailan's survival, he could outnumber us and slaughter us all, strengthening his own position in the Landsmeet by claiming you rebelled against his lawful authority. You're the only one with the clout to defeat him, since Fergus is still missing; with you dead, and Cailan as well, there would be no one to fight him. The way I reasoned it through, if we take the direct route to confront him, we're just going to end up as corpses in a field somewhere to feed the crows."

"So what would you suggest?"

"Well, I don't know for sure. Aedan is our leader and I think those decisions are best left up to him and Tomas, as well as Theron and yourself. Teagan also mentioned he had an idea, which I'd be thrilled to hear." Eamon scowled, I wasn't sure whether at me directly or in response to Teagan's plan. Aedan spoke up.

"Yes, Teagan, I'd also like to hear your plan."

Teagan looked nervously at his brother. "I'm not sure it's such a good idea, really," he demurred. Eamon looked like he'd been sucking on a lemon.

"Tell us anyway, my Lord?" I asked. "Even if it isn't a workable plan, maybe it will stimulate someone else's thoughts."

"Well, I was thinking that if ...Theron hadn't survived, we would be having a discussion about putting Alistair on the throne." Alistair and Theron both objected, but Teagan just spoke over their bluster. "We would call a Landsmeet, travel to Denerim, try to prove Loghain's treachery to the assembled nobles, and then put Alistair forward as the legitimate heir. What if we do that...go through it as if nothing had changed, but at last minute, once those who would betray us are out in the open, reveal Theron instead of Alistair? If Loghain doesn't know about Theron, he won't plan to ambush us, it would seem. He can go into the Landsmeet wearing a helm with no one the wiser."

We all stopped and stared at Teagan, thinking furiously. It would get Theron into Denerim safely, and allow him to see what Loghain and Anora had done; it would ensure all the nobles of Ferelden saw Theron alive before Loghain had a chance to react. It put Alistair's parentage out there, something I knew he wouldn't want, and I could see his face scrunch slightly as he thought about it. Overall, though, I knew he'd do what was best for Ferelden and this was far better than any plan I could come up with.

"Teagan, you're a genius!" Tomas and Aedan appeared to agree with me, nodding heartily.

Teagan looked abashed, while Theron and Eamon both looked enraged. They both started sputtering about deception and dishonour, but after a couple of moments Aedan interrupted them.

"Are you two quite finished? Look, honour and integrity are all fine and dandy, but in this case all they are going to net us is a swift funeral. I'd rather be alive and get yelled at for playing a trick than honourable and dead. If one of you has a better plan, I'm happy to hear it." That shut them up, and though both were still red-faced and obviously angry, they didn't respond.

"Now the question is do we do that now, or wait until we have secured the alliances of the elves and dwarves?"

Theron, of course, wanted to call the Landsmeet immediately. Aedan and Alistair wanted to see to the treaties first. Eamon encouraged them, disagreeing with Theron, and I watched him with narrowed eyes until I realised - he was hoping to buy himself time to come up with a different plan. Which was fine with me - if he could find one that worked and didn't get us killed, I would be thrilled - as long as he kept his mouth shut about Theron in the meantime.

In the end, we decided to wait for the treaties. Everyone promised to keep the secret of Theron's existence. He was disgusted at being left behind in Redcliffe yet again, but no one seemed too sympathetic. I wondered how long it would take before he finally understood that he had to do what was best for Ferelden, not just what was the most fun for him. Maybe being around Eamon for a while would be good for him.

After some discussion, we decided to do a huge circle - from Redcliffe to Flemeth's, then to the Brecilian Forest for the Dalish, then into Denerim. Once done there, we would head to Soldier's Peak (apparently Duncan had been in contact with Levi Dryden and arranged for us to meet him at the pass leading to the old fortress), over to Orzammar, and finally back to Redcliffe. In travel time alone, that would be twelve weeks, give or take. So assuming we ended up spending a week with the Dalish, another in Denerim, one in Soldier's Peak, and at least two weeks in Orzammar, that would be more than four months all told. And then I did the math and realised - with the exception of a day or two every couple of weeks, I'd been in Ferelden for more than two months already. In two months, it already felt more like home than mine ever had.

Once the meeting was over, Tomas kept Aedan, Alistair, and I back. He informed us that he had secured Solona's agreement to become a Grey Warden, but that because we couldn't do the Joining until we found Denerim's supply of Archdemon blood, she wouldn't be travelling with us. Aedan objected, but Tomas put his foot down.

"Your...companions, know far too many of the Grey Warden secrets as it is." His gaze flickered to Morrigan as he spoke, but the witch seemed intent on her own destination as she hurried out. "I won't have Solona learning the truth and trying to flee. She's a recruit now, but there's no reason for her to be terrified of what will happen for the months until her Joining, if she overhears something she shouldn't. She can stay here and keep Jowan company until she can undergo the ritual."

I spoke. "Are we going to recruit Jowan?" Alistair glanced at me, surprised and looking annoyed, but Tomas just looked thoughtful.

"I don't know. I would...worry, about his Joining."

I nodded. Jowan certainly wasn't the strongest in willpower - or talent - as far as I'd seen. I had to wonder if he'd survive the Joining, though the thought that the alternative was for him to be made Tranquil gave me pause. If it was me, I'd rather risk the Joining. When I said as much, Tomas gave me a shrewd look, but nodded thoughtfully. I did notice that no decisions seemed to have been made about the mage's fate so far, despite Eamon's recovery.

I headed up to the room I shared with Leli and went to sleep. The next morning, Tomas left to go scouting, and the rest of us took our leave of Theron, Eamon, Solona, Jowan, and Teagan. I was aware that Eamon and Teagan had been awake well into the night talking with Aedan and Tomas, and they all looked a bit haggard.

Our pace wasn't as quick as normal, although I wondered if our destination - Flemeth's - had as much to do with it as fatigue. I certainly wasn't looking forward to trying to kill a several-hundred-year-old abomination. No matter how much she deserved it. And the concept that she'd only die temporarily - well, that wasn't comfortable either. Would she hold a grudge?

Instead of following the roads, we set out through the forest leading into the Korcari Wilds. Aedan claimed to be able to navigate to Flemeth's, though even Morrigan said she didn't know how to find it from this direction. Aedan was convinced it would shave four days off of our trip. I appreciated his sense of haste, but definitely did not appreciate having to carry my own pack again - Bodahn's wagon couldn't follow this way, and he agreed to wait for us on the road east of Lothering. Great, three weeks of walking with a pack on.

Aedan carried Morrigan's pack as she was currently flying overhead; to my surprise, without a word, Alistair gathered up mine and Leliana's and headed off after Aedan. Leli and I shared smiles, and followed behind him. I might be angry with him, but I can't deny he's a gentleman. The going was relatively easy - the thick forest meant little direct light hit the ground so the undergrowth was thin; I knew that wouldn't last, given what the Korcari Wilds were like.