Things Men Do Ch. 01

It was a bright summer morning, no doubt. I left office at about 9.30 after the early morning staff meeting to see a client at MIDC Andheri. The client was a corporate giant in steel pipes industry. My boss Shailesh Kamdar, who was just four years older to me but had become the bank's Country Chief, made it abundantly clear that ‎the targets for this quarter were non-negotiable. It is Shailesh's killer instincts that I didn't have. My team had to rake in Rs130-crore this quarter to compensate for all loss of business during the entire year. I work for a foreign bank and the top management does not brook nonsense. Shailesh even suggested that my team would be wound up before the next quarter meeting that he was supposed to attend in Shanghai if we did not show at least Rs130-crore in our kitty by then.

All sales teams in all private and foreign banks in India were on tenterhooks. Shailesh's closing statement in the morning meeting with the entire Mumbai staff was, "I don't care even if you have to sleep with your prospective clients but we need to bring in that money by end of June if you all have to keep your jobs," he said looking directly into my eyes. That was a stupid thing to say to anyone without knowing the person but it revealed how bad the market was and none of the foreign banks were ready to give a long rope to their sales team. Shailesh's statement hit me hard for some other reason. My colleagues could see the sudden panic in my eyes. Thankfully they did not know the real reason for my panic.

At 1 pm I left MIDC ‎after the meeting with the steel pipes company CFO. I was not very happy with the way the negotiations turned out. The company was also in some kind of dire straits because the economy was not doing well. Their real estate clients were not paying them and that had a spin off effect on their bank transactions. I caught a rickshaw from MIDC and changed over at Bandra to a non-AC kaali-peeli taxi to reach my office in two hours. My jacket was completely drenched in sweat by the time I reached office.

Even my deo could not help much with my body stench. I was so dejected that I did not have lunch. I sat at my desk cogitating over my plan B should I lose my job by July end. I was at my desk for over an hour feeling depressed at my own pathetic condition. I had made up my mind that I need to settle for less pay to live a full life. The stress levels in high-paid jobs was killing.

My parents were insisting that I should get married. An arranged marriage, that is. I would turn 37 this year. I too was interested in getting married as I was looking forward to regular sex that marriage brings with it. I was confused at my own sexuality but anything was better than jerking off in the bath every morning that only made me late to office. Mom often asked me what I was doing in the bath for so long. She was too innocent to understand a young man's plight. I would lie on the wet floor beside the commode and masturbate. I would stop-go for about 20 minutes before I would ejaculate. That was really tiring. For me any hole would be better than this torture-some morning ritual.

I sat back on the reclining chair spread my legs wide so that my sweaty crotch would get airy. I hated the look of the substitute laptop on my desk. It had so many stains on the key board. Some of the keys get stuck when typing and work was almost standstill since last four days. My laptop hard disk had crashed and it had gone to the IT department for rescue of data and repair. I was told by the only friendly guy in the IT department Vishwas Matre that I would get back my laptop in three days. But there was no message from the IT dept. I was irritated at their indifference. I picked up the intercom and dialed the IT dept number. Surprisingly Vishwas picked up the call. He was polite and informal as usual. I try to be professional in my attitude at office and prevent any informality to creep in.

"Hello, sir, wassup?'

I didn't spend time to exchange pleasantries.

"Hello Vishwas, is my laptop back in shape. I need it today. My work has stopped completely."

"Oh, I was about to call you to tell you that it will take more time as the replacement hard disk is hard to come by. It is not available with HP."

"Oh, shit! Vishwas, Do you know what is our target for this quarter? I might even lose my job next month. How will I work without my machine?"

"But sir, that's why I gave you my own computer to use. You will have to wait for a week for the thing to be replaced."

"Your laptop sucks. It even stinks so much. What did you spill on the keyboard? Was it rum?"

Vishwas took his time to respond. I was immediately feeling a little guilty for yelling at him. I didn't wait for his response.

"Sorry, Vishwas, I didn't mean to be rude. But I am facing a dire situation."

"Alright, sir. I will see if the laptop can be serviced in another two days." He sounded slightly disappointed with my behaviour.

Vishwas was young and smart and the most sought-after hardware support personnel. He was good at solving all kinds of software and hardware problems in a jiffy. Though he was a qualified hardware personnel I have seen him sitting with the programmers to help them solve their issues. But with my laptop it was taking unusually long. He once even told me over drinks that his personal target is that even the biggest IT admin problem should be solved in four hours, the entire system and the logistics with consultants and suppliers have to be geared up for that kind of delivery. Probably HP hard disk was really in short supply, I reckoned. Vishwas was also the most jovial guy in the office, least perturbed by the market situations and mundane issues like job loss. I wish I had his attitude to life. Vishwas suffered from Asperger's Syndrome, and possibly also Tourette's Syndrome, which interferes with his ability to interact socially with other people.

He was also the most good-looking guy around, or at least that was what my gaydar said. During the office party at Hotel Shangrila Intercontinental he was so sozzled in liquor that I had to help him visit the washroom. He could barely stand after about six shots of Bloody Mary. I was having a drink with him for the first time during the party at Shangrila. He became friendly quite fast and we discussed the anatomy of girls in the office with gay abandon.

When it was nearly midnight and most people had left the party we both had one more Bloody Mary "for the road" as he put it. When it was nearly 1 am we were still at Shangrila having Bloody Marys. He had an engrossing tone and tenor in his speech and I could listen to him endlessly. When I finally turned around to check on the party I saw all my colleagues had left. There were only about 20 people in the expansive ball room in small groups. And of course the stewards were extraordinarily good at their job. I was soon toying with the idea of calling a cab to return home when Vishwas said he wanted to piddle. He got up from the chair holding the edge of the table. I immediately got up to support him. He was so drunk that he was leaning on me when we walked towards the washroom. Most stewards didn't pay any attention as they seemed to be used to all these situations.

When I was near the washroom Vishwas looked up at me and said, "not this one, I would prefer the one at the end of the foyer." I was surprised that even in an absolute drunk state IT guys have preferences for washrooms. When we entered the washroom I was sure Vishwas won't be able to stand upright at the urinal. There was no one in the washroom. I slowly walked him towards the trough urinal and waited for him to open his pants. But he did nothing. His eyes were closed. I suspected that if I did not open his pant and take his dick out he would piddle in his pants and that would be quite unsavoury in a five star hotel. But even in that state of drunkenness I was certain that no one would come into the washroom at the long end of the foyer when there was a washroom near the ballroom.

I was humming a song under my breath close to his ears just to make him feel that I was as drunk as he was. I slowly slid my hand towards his crotch to open his fly but ready to take it away if he protests. But he didn't appear to be in this world. When my left hand was over his groin his lips twitched. I squeezed his crotch and I could feel his dick and balls. I was sure he wasn't wearing an underwear inside. I slowly then opened his zip. There was no time for foreplay lest he would urinate in his pant.

I looked at the door before my next move. I then quickly unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his trouser. The trouser dropped on the floor. If anyone came into the washroom it would be the end of my career in the banking sector. I lifted his shirt to check his organ. It was partly erect and bend towards the right. He was fair and his pubic hair appeared slightly brownish. I moved my hand all over the dick and balls. He separated his legs as far as his fallen trousers would allow, then he jerked ahead. My mind was racing. Why was he getting an erection? Was he my kind, pretending all his life to be straight? I stood there as he leaned on me. I was holding his dick in my left hand and his balls in my right. I was playing with his balls which were small. When he started to urinate his stream was in full flow and for an unusually long time. His dick was a good size, neither too small nor too big. But he had a lot of foreskin which I had to pull back, and by the time he had finished piddling he had a full erection. I looked at his face closely to check if he was showing any sign of sexual pleasure.

His face was deadpan, with his mouth slightly open. His face had even lost a bit of colour. I kept massaging his dick and balls and even run my fingers over his buttocks and arse crack. It was too narrow for my finger to enter but his separated legs helped in reaching the soft textured opening of his arse. I have read in newspaper columns that a full urinary bladder can cause an erection, especially early in the morning. So I was not sure if Vishwas' erection was because his bladder was filled with Vodka. In the next ten minutes I even ran my fingers all over his body. This was godsend. My own erection was struggling inside my pant. When I pressed his balls he did not show any sign of pain. I turned his face backward with my left hand which was smelling of dry cum and kissed him for a full ten minutes. His lips were luscious and pink after kissing. He did not react to my kiss and I expected him to explore my mouth as most of my friends do when we have sex.

I moved my hands again inside his shirt and reached all the places that were my favourite spots. His nipples were small and they felt like rubber moulds. When my hands reached his armpits he raised his hands. I got a distinct feeling that he was enjoying my sexual explorations as much I did. But I was not sure. If he was he could play poker well. I wanted to lower my pants and probably check if I could enter him, but I was worried that if someone saw me in that position I would not only lose my job but even end up in jail. If Vishwas did not like the fact that he was violated in the washroom when he finds his arse crack sore in the morning then the consequences would be bad. The sexual excitement had made me completely sober. No one could even smell liquor in my breath any more. Sex has this ability to sober me. I wanted to lay Vishwas on the floor and probably give him a blow job, which I could clean up and he won't suspect anything in the morning. But the fear that someone would enter the washroom held me back. I think it was fear than sexual arousal that sobered me.

I stood there holding him for some more time while I kissed him. His penis was still erect even after emptying his bladder. In my mind I was a little confused about how to approach him in the office the next morning when he is back in his senses. His lips were swollen after my relentless kiss. It was even more provocative and satisfying to kiss Vishwas after his lips were swollen. Finally when I started to masturbate him his face lit up slightly. He also started to slowly move back and forth along the rhythm of me stroking him. In about two or three minutes he started to come in spurts. First it was thin and watery, then it was thick and colloidal. He blew his cum on the walls of the urinal.

On the stainless steel urinal his cum made patterns when the water from the nozzle above flushed thin stripes of water. I could have licked it as I was desperate but my sober state made better sense prevail. I took out my handkerchief from my back pocket and wiped his dick and balls clean. Then I lay him on the floor still naked. I went to the door and put on the top latch. When I turned around he was moving his legs as if he was coming to.

I lowered my pants wiped out my erect dick which was wet with precum. I sat next to him and started playing with flaccid dick and balls. His penis had become less than an inch minutes after ejaculation. His penis was struggling to get erect when I started playing with it. began to masturbate myself with my right hand while my left hand was still playing with his testicles. But I was not finding that good enough for the glorious moment. So I removed my shoes and all my clothes. Then I lay on my back beside Vishwas completely naked. I pushed my left hand under his shirt and held him close to kiss him voraciously while I shook my dick with my right hand. It took almost ten minutes for my to reach climax.

The moment I was about to come I got on my knees with Vishwas in between my legs and lifted his head so that I would ejaculate on his face. It took almost a minute more before I came. The ejaculation was unusual. It had a thick viscosity and the quantity was much more than usual.‎ I spread my cum all over his face. He showed no sign of consciousness. I then spread all the cum on his face. It took almost 20 minutes for me to clean up my groin, hands and mouth, wear my clothes and shoes, put Vishwas back in shape after cleaning his crotch with water and wiping off any evidence of what happened in that washroom. He was almost back in his senses when I started to wash his dick and balls with water from the basin. I made him understand that he had wetted his undies and so I had to clean him up. He didn't seem to be perturbed by what I did after making him naked. He was still high. And even when I was wiping his dick and balls with water he didn't seem to object. I took it as consent and did a good cleaning job.

When we both got out of the washroom I found that only a few lights were on, the party was over and there was no one around. Vishwas was quiet. It was striking 3 am when I moved out of Shangrila still holding Vishwas' hands. He was doddering slightly and he held my hands tightly. Instead of calling for my favourite Ola, I hailed a kaali peeli taxi for the second time that day, dropped Vishwas at his house at Airoli before I went home.

That was almost three months ago. After that eventful day in Shangrila we both became close friends. We would sit for a drink in the evening almost every other day at our favourite joint Maharaja. But today those fond memories of my sexual encounter with Vishwas suddenly perked up my mood today. I closed my laptop and looked out of the window of the 26th floor which was quite an exhilarating experience. I could see from Dadar the planes land at the far end of the flat terrain. If the mood wasn't sombre after the day's utterly tragic meeting with the client at MIDC Andheri I would have had a beer with my feet on my desk. The situation was different now. But not as bad to say sorry to a dear friend. I picked up my mobile and dialed Vishwas' number. He picked up the call immediately probably because he was playing a game.

"Hello Vishy, what are you doing in the evening? Can we go for a drink?"

"No, Ravi. I am going to meet a friend at Vashi who was my classmate in engineering college."

"Oh, I see. I just thought I would make up for my stupid behaviour‎ a little while ago. I just wanted to apologise to you for being such a jerk."

Vishwas didn't say anything. After a long pause I spoke again. "I think I have really hurt your feelings. I am sorry, and I feel guilty that I did not consider our friendship before getting into such an uncouth and uncultured behaviour."

Again there was a long pause.

"I am really sorry, darling, I am really sorry," I said throwing formal behaviour to the winds. Then Vishwas spoke in a slow but even pace.

"Okay, sir. You will get your machine tomorrow. I am also sorry for the delay. I was trying to upgrade your machine. The difference in configuration takes more time to fix. We will sit for a drink tomorrow. It is my birthday."

I couldn't help control my exuberance. I leaned back in my chair and put my feet on the table.

"Sure we will meet tomorrow, Vishy. And the treat is on me."‎

Vishwas again took some time to respond.

"Alright. We will catch up tomorrow. Bye for now."