Things That Remind Me of You...

Things that remind me of you...

Facetious – the word, as in I thought you were serious until you said "I was only being facetious." Not that I knew what the word meant. In my dictionary, that word has a picture of you next to it.

Your mother recognizes all you're desperate displays
And she watches as her babies drift violently away
'Til they see themselves in telescopes
Do you see yourself in me?
We're such crazy babies, little monkey
We're so fucked up, you and me – Counting Crows

We do as others expect, we always have, even when it tears us up inside. Its easy for us to understand the other's frustrations, but hard to explain our own. God we're so fucked up, you and me.

Dusters – I spied you across the gymnasium floor. It was the first time. You were wearing a denim duster. You have never left my mind since that day.

Short black skirt and fishnet stockings – God if you would have realized how hot you were.

Jamie Lee Curtis – You know jacked up boobs when you see them.

Riots – There was rioting on Welch, but I was alone with you.

Beauty and the Beast – The show sucked, but I would have watched a test pattern just to spend the evening curled up on the couch with you.

'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't. - Bonnie Raitt

I tried to make you feel something you couldn't. It would be years before I understood the struggles you really had. If only I had been more mature and confident to talk with you about it.

Anticipation, suspense, longing – Not the words, but the emotions. How they bring out your desire.

Three hour phone calls – We talked for hours when we were young, but we never communicated until we were old.

What Ifs – what if his mother had not intervened, what if we had only had a few more weeks, what if I had been stronger, what if you could have risked starting over, what if my jealously hadn't pushed you away, what if we hadn't lost those two years, what if I would have told you how I felt earlier, what if I hadn't met her, what if I would have grabbed hold when you reached out

And forget happiness, I'm fine
I'll forget everything, in time
I swear I didn't know
You know me, how I can't let go
And we're not Gods, we're just Hacks
All that life amongst the cracks
the scars, the siege n the breaks
the ugliest scenes, the worst mistakes
And everywhere, I see her face – Airborne Toxic Event

Not lyrics themselves, but what they represent to me. The new ideas and culture you showed me the importance of. You always saw the picture in its highest definition.

Erotic Stories – You allowed me inside a space I had only seen the surface of. In the process you made me realize I had a voice that was desirable.

Blow Jobs – Your enthusiasm for this most intimate act. My desire to share it with you. Never in reality, but in our dreams.

No Way Out – No idea why, just another quiet night on the couch. I now understand the significance the title holds for you though.

Thanksgiving – You called out of the blue and made no disguises that you wanted to see me.

Planes Trains and Automobiles – No planes or trains, but one temporarily lost automobile. I have rarely felt the excitement and joy I did that night.

Mauve Ties – I had never felt so grown up as I did that night shopping with you.

School Dances – I can't imagine not having the picture from that night. If only for a moment, it made the "What Ifs" real.

Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man... Pearl Jam

I wanted that to be true when I was young, but couldn't convince myself of it. When I grew old I discovered it was true, and didn't want to believe it. I hope I would have been a better man.

Think of me
You know that I'd be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you once in a while
Or if I ever need a reason to smile
And spend the night if you think I should – Todd Rundgren

I couldn't have said it any better Todd.