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I closed my eyes. "I don't know what I want."
Phillip nodded. "I understand."
I looked him in the eye. "What do you want?"
"I want you," he said without hesitation. "However you'll have me."
I sat there and thought for a long time. I loved Phillip. I realized then that I had loved Amanda, too. The feeling I had, that I'd known her all along, made sense to me now. I knew what I wanted. I wanted my husband, whatever he was.
I sat between them. My husband held me with four arms. I cried as I was held and rocked like a baby. I was enveloped by my husband, surrounded by his warmth, touched by both sides of him. For the first time he held me completely.
"C'mon," he whispered into each ear with a different voice. "Let's go to bed."
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