Thirty Days of Honeymoon

Bruce tasted blood. "I'll be too, once I regain consciousness."

"And I am not letting you go."

"Wouldn't respect you if you did."

"Stay put. I'm finding Ivy."

Bruce watched her go, a new swing in her hip. "Can I use the bathroom first?"

***

The reason they'd kept Bruce in the rooftop greenhouse was that inside the abandoned tenement where they'd hidden their lair, the place was festooned with Harley's attempts at decoration. It looked like a child's birthday party. Balloons, streamers, paper doll chains... Selina was surprised Ivy put up with it. She'd only allowed it because Harley had promised to clean the litter box for Selina; a big ask when you had ten cats. Selina might not like Harley being a professional doormat on feminist grounds, but it was great for the housekeeping.

Selina headed down into the 'foyer,' where a combination of Ivy's plants and Harley's hammer—with some small, 'controlled' explosives—had turned a dozen apartments into one wide-open space. For parties, Harley said. But Selina couldn't find a trace of either woman. Aside from the drone of the AC and the creaking of some damaged pipes, there was nothing. Selina trained her ears, summoning up the Armless Master's teachings. Past the muck of everyday sound, she gleamed a moist, sucking noise. It was coming from one of the cubicle-like apartments they'd left standing like walk-in closets. Ivy was intrigued, but hesitant. She adjusted her zipper as she walked toward it.

Ivy didn't hear her coming. Her ears were muffled by Harley's trim thighs.

Harley didn't hear her coming. The smack of her lips against Ivy's crotch was too loud.

Selina got the door open, carefully, slowly, working it so the hinges didn't even think of squeaking. She knew what to expect, but wasn't quite prepared for the sinuous animal she found, the two-headed creature with Harley's muscular back on top, stretching and straining, and Ivy's gently curling red hair growing down between her legs. It registered for her; they weren't just eating out or fingering.

It came after sixty-eight and before seventy...

Leaning against the doorway, very comfortable with her zipper between her breasts, Selina let all the little facets of the scene engrave themselves on her mind. The headboard of bars she could see through, their shadows cutting across the two bodies as darkly as the scratches of their fingernails. Harley's pert ass tensing as she worked her pussy down onto Ivy's face, Ivy submissively meeting the sway of Harley's cunt with a fresh kiss every time, their limbs entwined with naked bodies, their flesh running together like paint—Ivy's green skin turning red with Harley's bites and clenched fingers, Harley's white greasepaint running as Ivy's sweaty arms and legs ran over her.

Harley undulated up from Ivy's sex, rising on outstretched arms to loom over Ivy's lower half like it was a fresh kill. Selina saw the back of her head. There were leaves scattered in her pigtails. "That's it, Red, make me come! Eat it, you little bitch, eat it, eat it!"

Selina could see her cunt kissing Ivy's face, bubbling like a spring as Ivy gulped it down, moaning with the ecstasy of having Harley down her throat.

"You always act like it's such a big inconvenience havin' me around, but who makes you come like I do!? Me! That's who!"

Gritting her teeth, head craned back, she pressed her sex down against Ivy's cheek, coming all over her face even as she slapped Ivy's cunt, the redhead panting, moaning louder, coming as Harley rubbed mercilessly at her clit, as if Harley's juices had flowed right through her, returned to the clown. As if they shared not just an orgasm, but the liquid of it.

They writhed together, slowly, fitfully draining. Selina saw her chance to tiptoe away as they clung together in abandoned bliss. She watched it go. And, instead, pulled her zipper down to her belly button. Took out her whip. Looped it around the back of her neck so she was holding onto the handle and the tail like they were two ends of a scarf.

She knew the picture she struck.

She stole into their little love nest and presented it to them. "Well. Ivy. Harley. Guess now we know who's on top."

Harley had been licking up what was left of Ivy's orgasm from between her legs, mercilessly extending the intensity of her cum into its doldrums. Hearing Selina, she lifted her head like a wolf from a carcass, chin dripping, eyes keen.

"I'd say it's always the quiet ones," Selina continued, swinging her hips as she rounded the bed, "but Harley so doesn't qualify."

Ivy eyed Selina's ass as the cat burglar passed her again, seeing her upside-down through the frame of Harley's thighs.

Selina kept her back to Ivy, looking over her shoulder at her. Letting her stare. "But Ivy! All this time you've been a sub and yet you've never asked after your friend, the dominatrix's, services? I'm hurt. If I can get a rise out of Batman, aren't you curious what I might do to you?"

She certainly was. Her eyes kept rolling over the twin helping of nudity, Ivy's generous breasts, Harley's tight ass.

Harley reared up again, into a kneel over Ivy's face. She eyed Selina proudly, her modest breasts on display as much as her solemn eyes. Sometimes, she let people see through the Mistah J act. "You want in, Seliners? No looky-loos here."

"Oh. I want in." Selina shrugged her catsuit off her shoulders. Letting Harley see the little love bites Ivy had put on her breasts. "And I want you in me."

"Good. I've been thinking of fucking you with your own whip since you wore purple." Harley's voice wasn't as enthusiastic as you'd think, though. It was low. Dangerous. "You hurt Ivy, though, and we'll sees how many ways there are to skin a cat. Caprice?"

"Capiche," Selina replied, pronouncing it correctly.

"Let's seal it with a kiss," Harley suggested. She bopped Ivy on the head. Ivy kissed her cunt. "Oh, momma!"

Selina raked her suit down her hips, bending over to get it over her ass. Harley looked significantly between her thighs.

"So," she asked, her voice returning to its high pitch, "d'ya fuck Brucie? I've always wanted to taste a pussy..." She paused for laughter that didn't come, "after it's had a little creamer added. I'd find out from Ivy, but she's really not much for menfolk. Who can blame her, with me around?"

Ivy pacified her lover with a slow lick over Harley, ending with a look at Selina through the nickel bars of the bed's headboard. "You didn't answer me before, kitty. Ever eaten out?"

Naked, Selina leaned against the headboard, pressing her breasts through the nickel bars. Harley's eyes grew wide; she almost leaned forward to bite at them. "Like I said, it was a long time ago. Some kiss-kiss, no bang-bang." She smiled with her customary sardonicism. "Maybe I won't like it."

"Only one way to find out," Harley replied, reaching down to pat Ivy's thigh. "If you don't like Ivy's puss, you might as well turn in your tongue."

Selina rounded the bed again, hand dangling at her side to run over the sweat-soaked duvet as she came to the foot of the bed. Wheeled on them. Got on the mattress. All fours. Crawled over the wrinkled sheets. Over Ivy's legs. First the muscles of her calves, then the magnificent curvature of her thighs. She laid a hand down above Ivy's knee, putting her weight on the firm flesh as she kept slowly traipsing forward.

"I hope you won't feel too neglected, Harl," Selina said to her rival—the other mistress setting up shop in their little world. "I'm a slow learner. I think I'll need plenty of practice."

Ivy's pussy twitched in anticipation.

Harley played it cool for once, walking backward on her knees off Ivy's face, reclining against the headboard. Reaching down to rub at herself. "Be as slow as you like. You can always take a page from my book and sleep with the professor."

Selina leaned in to Ivy's widespread thighs. "I'm more interested in the student body at the moment..."

The next moment, Ivy closed her eyes. "I don't think we have to worry about her not liking it."

***

Upstairs, Wonder Woman had just pulled away Bruce's restrains. With him unencumbered, Zatanna cast a spell to instantly dress him in his Batman costume.

Bruce would never get used to that.

"Sorry it took so long to find you," Zatanna said. "Gotham has some bad mystical juju cluttering up the astral plane. I really should get on that..."

"Later," Diana said. "After we teach the Three Stooges a lesson."

"I don't think so," Bruce said, checking the camera in his cowl. Despite the magic, it was functioning perfectly. He started a feed to Oracle's computers.

"What?" Diana asked. "Did I get the pop culture reference wrong?"

"No, that was a good reference," Zatanna assured her. "I've seen them hit each other with hammers."

"I'm saying it won't be necessary," Bruce said. "I have a plan."

***

Selina licked Ivy like she'd been eating pussy all her life, sucked on her like she'd never had anything so sweet. Harley was only torn away from the sight by that of Selina's ass bobbing in the air as she squirmed about on her knees, head buried in Ivy's crotch like a cat drinking milk. But Ivy was the one that purred.

"I love it... you're so good..." Ivy arched her back as Selina's tongue flared up her sex, her thighs closing softly around Selina's busy mouth, her full belly heaving up.

Ivy twisted like a cat to kiss Harley's leg, stretched out nearby, then looked down the arched bridge of her belly at Selina, the Catwoman staring up at her from behind the gentle roll of Ivy's belly and groin. They gazed into each other's eyes, eyelids narrowing, opening wide as they enjoyed what was happening, were shocked by just how much.

To Ivy, Selina was so loving, so passionate. Flings with Harley were never unsatisfactory, but often heated, rushed, angry if not dangerous. With Selina it felt slow and steady, though her body still threatened to get away from her, run a million miles an hour in her pleasure. She would've liked to try it the other way; first with Selina, gentle and warm, then letting Harley take her hard and fast.

Then again, she couldn't quite imagine Selina's tongue going any faster than it was now, delving and dipping as far into her slippery nethers as it could, setting up a steady flood of juices that Selina's ruby lips endlessly sucked.

"I never thought it'd be so hard not to come too soon," Ivy said in a husky voice. She saw Selina's eyes enticed at the prospect of a long, leisurely feasting.

Harley fingered herself even faster than she had been, gritting her teeth at the thought of having to wait to wrap her legs around that messy pixie cut of Selina's, or have Ivy's sweet lips clamped to her pussy again. Then she noticed Ivy's head was turned, her eyes drawn to the rough schlick of Harley's fingers in and out of her sex. It made Harley think of joining in.

The wonderful thing about a threesome was that she could taunt and tease Ivy, playing with their other lover, coming back, leaving again. While they were linked together, she could wander, rove, be a joker in the deck.

Shuffling off the bed, Harley bounced down to its footboard. Selina was still on her knees, bent over Ivy, making her juicy ass the highest point on her body. It wasn't as voluptuous as Ivy's, or as trim as Harley's, just a nice, ripe ass that fit lovingly into leather and even better into a set of lace panties. Harley stared at it like she was hypnotized, her head swaying as she followed its wagging swing. Then she snapped out of it, giving that ass a nice crack of her hand. It jiggled just a little, the amount of salt there was on a good steak.

"Buckle up, bitcho! Your booty is now an all-you-can-eat buffet!"

Selina growled inside Ivy's thighs, unwilling to part from that lick and suck. Then Harley dove in, licking her from the very bottom of her pussy to the top of her ass, and Selina gasped into Ivy's cunt, Ivy grabbing the rails of the headboard. Harley gave Selina's tailbone a little kiss, smug at the pleasurable devastation she'd wracked.

"Spread 'em, kitty."

Too aroused to argue, Selina reached back, grabbed either of her taut buttocks, and spread them apart. Harley licked her asshole, as always thrilled by the depravity of what she was doing—cheating on Mistah J. And Ivy never let Harley fuck her ass; too masculine for her. But Selina... she was someone brand new for Harley to corrupt.

Harley pushed her tongue right into the tight hole and got started.

"Fuck, fuck," Selina gritted out, something in her voice crying out for mercy, too overcome to even nip at Ivy's pussy while Harley was tongue-fucking her ass. Then, with a brisk kiss to her left cheek, Harley slid down to suck her pussy. Selina came instantly, her profane words running together to become a long, drawn-out moan.

Harley loved Selina's taste, even if it was different from Ivy's. She wondered if it tasted that way because Batman was shooting it into her. Maybe she was drinking Batman's cum. She started touching herself again, thinking of it. She'd always wanted to cheat on Joker with one of the Bats, but no matter how hard she tried to kill them, they never took her up on it. But Catwoman, she was practically a Bat, an Honorary Bat, she worked with them often enough.

After thinking that, Harley had to use both hands.

***

"Jesus," Barbara said as the feed from Batman's cowl-cam was uploaded into her systems, instantly encrypted and copied to twenty hardened back-up sites around the world (and in space, and on the JLA's moonbase, and on Rann...)

Maybe she should give Dinah a call...

Or Dick.

Or both.

***

Even getting tongued in both holes couldn't tempt Selina away from Ivy's snatch for long. She sucked hard on Ivy's clit, using her fingers as well, ramming them to Ivy's core as Harley did much the same with her tongue. Then Selina heard, felt Harley moaning around her clit. She flashed with fire, realizing Harley was coming herself.

Selina may not have bedded Batgirl like Ivy had—pheromones or not—but dating Batman, she was familiar with the need for self-pleasure. She curled her fingers inside Ivy, easily finding her G-spot and rubbing it furiously as she sucked her clit, felt her own explode, becoming a wild woman, wanting only to come, for Ivy to come with her, even for Harley too.

In one unbroken chain that wrapped around and around again, the three women came wetly, experienced lovers teaching Selina how to suck and be sucked, Selina picking it up fast. It wasn't long before Ivy thought of a way to top from the bottom.

Her vines sniffed into the room—trying to tell her something about Wayne, but she could hardly be bothered. One went to her lips. She slurped it, feeling the phantom pleasure of her own tongue trickling around the tip. The other vine went to Harley. It was soon joined by another.

The three women grunted and groaned and screamed and finally whimpered, moaned, sighed, as the dozen vines that had joined them slid away, the sheets ruined by the greasepaint that had slicked off Harley like an oilspill, Ivy's hair a mess, Selina's ass glowing red from Harley's loving smacks.

All three were delighted, excited. Harley bounded up like she hadn't spent the better part of an hour being violated by plantlife, walking across the bed and dragging Selina with her to force the two of them into Ivy's arms, where the green girl submitted to holding them both as she knew Harley liked, and Selina submitted to being held. For once.

It felt pretty nice, actually.

"Holy crapola," Harley muttered finally. "Wish we'd set up a video camera. That deserves an instant replay..."

"I'd be happy to help," Batman said as he shifted out of the shadows.

The Sirens were instantly on the defensive, but naked and caught unawares, they knew there wasn't much to be done against a well-prepared Batman. Selina held the other two back, whispering to Ivy that he'd probably already set pesticide bombs throughout the building. Booby-trapped her costume and whip too, if she made a play for them. And as fun as it might be to watch a naked Harley try to beat the Bat, the fact that he hadn't opened with a smoke-bomb told her he maybe wanted to negotiate.

Moving slowly, carefully, Ivy summoned her vines, only having them move over her and her lovers, covering them with fronds. Batman's stare changed not one iota, seeing their nudity hidden. He held up his left arm, activating the console in his gauntlet. A holographic display flashed out part of the recording he'd just made.

"Does my ass really look like that?" Harley asked.

"When it's got one of my little friends in it," Ivy replied.

Batman turned off the playback. "The push of a button and that can be on the hard drive of every Lexcorp product on the market. Excepting the ones registered to children, of course."

"All that just to make us come quietly, Bats?" Selina asked.

"I just saw how hard it is for you to come quietly," he replied. "But this little kidnapping of yours was amateurish and embarrassing—more an inconvenience than anything else. Insurance will have to pay for the mall, Mr. Wayne will need therapy, and resources that otherwise could've saved lives have gone into stopping the three of you from getting your kicks. So here's a one-time offer. Go. Leave Gotham. Ivy, you did it before. Went into hermitage on a deserted tropical island..."

Ivy remembered; not fondly. "And they firebombed it!"

"So try again," Batman said. "Take the clown and the cat with you. You three don't seem to have a problem enjoying each other's company. Pretend it's a pardon; live in peace, stay out of trouble, and this video will never see the light of day."

"How do we know we can trust you?" Harley demanded.

Batman glared at Selina. "You know how I am about secrets."

Selina rolled her eyes. "It's a good deal. We should take it."

"Just turn our backs on ecological devastation?" Ivy asked shrilly.

While Harley looked on the verge of tears. "Never see Mistah J again?"

Ivy nodded her head to the side, as if to say 'there is that'.

"Clock is ticking, ladies." Batman put his hand on a console button. In reality, all it did was turn on the Batmobile's car alarm, but they didn't know that. "What's it going to be?"

"We'll need room and board," Selina said. "You must be pretty loaded to keep yourself in Batarangs. Ten thousand dollars a month and you'll never hear from us again."

"If I started paying people not to commit crimes..."

"Like we don't cause more damage than that in a week," Harley retorted, liking the sound of this.

"And we'll let you keep the video," Ivy said.

"We might even send you a new one," Harley said before Selina slapped her upside the head.

"Ten thousand a month," Batman agreed. "And wherever you go, you don't get so much as a parking ticket."

Ivy nodded, considering it. "I could update my blog more regularly. I think I'm really getting through to people on how fragile the ecosystem really is."

"I could buy pizzas for every meal," Harley said.

"And I could fuck you." Behind the fronds, Selina did something with her hands that made both women gasp. "Every day. Every hour. As much as you like." She met Bruce's eyes. "Someone would have to be crazy to pass up a deal like that."

"I'm in!" Ivy said.

"She's in!" Harley added, her frantic nod referring to the offer, not so much her words.

"I'll have my people contact your people," Selina said. "And now, a little privacy, if you don't mind?"

A whipping of his cape and Batman was gone.

"And Batman?" Selina called, the other women beginning to hide her under their bodies.

The darkness seemed to wait expectantly.

"Send Brucie my love."