This Guy

Everybody always hears stories about the "big man on campus." He's the guy who scored the winning touchdown at the homecoming game. He's the guy tapping the keg at the frat party. Most guys would like to be him mainly because of the fact that most of the young women on campus wish to spend the night with him.

Well, I have news for you, that guy doesn't really exist. At least he doesn't in this universe. That really doesn't matter anyway because this story isn't about that guy.

It's about this guy.

Sure, he doesn't look like much. In all truth, he looks like the guy you called for tech support when your printer refused to print anything out except for the test sheet. In all truth, he probably did something like that for a summer job. He may even be a computer science major, engineering, or perhaps something in the humanities. If he wears glasses, which is usually the case, he either wears the small wire frames to try to call less attention to his eyes, or the thick plastic frames because he wants to look "indie rock."

Don't get me wrong, I love the indie rock guys, but I'll save that breed for another story.

As for his hair, it's either sort of shaggy because of the fact that he refuses to get it cut until he goes home to mom, or it's always neatly trimmed in a sort of obsessive-compulsive way. Either way, it's probably similar to the same haircut he's had since elementary school. Blonde, brunette, redheaded, or even jet black, sometimes dyed with streaks or highlights, or the bane of all dye jobs, tipped. Sometimes he thinks he's being a "metrosexual," but in all truth, he looks like a poser.

Once again, it would appear that I am only tearing this guy to pieces with insults, but that is not the point I am trying to make. The point I am trying to make is that he is the last guy in the world that you would ever expect to be a sex god.

Yet somehow, he is.

It is for the simple reason of expectation.

A girl sees an athletic, virile young man and immediately expects that not only will he provide reliable genes to help propagate the human race with, but also expects that the act of propagation will be most pleasurable. However, this guy generally knows of his physical prowess and pleasing appearance and has no interest in pleasing any potential sexual partners he may encounter. Instead, he just thinks about how lucky this bitch is for getting a pussyload of his love juice.

I generally avoid using vulgar terms in my writing, but I am only using the terminology that most of these cro-Magnon type men know how to use.

On the other hand, a girl sees a guy like the previous example and thinks "Isn't this guy in my anthropology class? He looks like a total loser." Yet for whatever reason, she actually gives him a chance. Perhaps she is tanked up to the point where she can't even remember her own name, or maybe she wants to try something different. Either way, the results generally tend to surprise the girl. This is because he thinks the exact opposite way of his neolithic counterparts. He can't believe how lucky he is to actually get into bed with a girl and wants to make sure she'll call him again.

How exactly does he do this?

Well, perhaps all of that online time looking at porn was partially to get tips. However, the drawback to porn is the fact that no matter what, there absolutely has to be an orgasm, multiple ones even. Even though the guy can't fake it, the woman usually has to pretend that she's enjoying getting rammed up the ass under hot lights in front of a bunch of people she doesn't know very well. Yet the wonderful thing about the internet is the massive exchange of information. People can share information about what works and what doesn't work during sex.

In the case of our example unassuming male, he also learns things from trial and error. Although this hit or miss method sounds haphazard, it tends to have beneficial results, not only for the guy, but the girl he is with. The mere fact that the guy is putting forth the effort to do something more than the typical "on top, hump, roll over, and fall asleep" enormously appeals to females. Also, even though no two people are a like, there is a general rule.

I hope you cavemen are paying close attention...

FOREPLAY.

There, I said it. It doesn't really matter, but make it last, and most importantly, make it count. Skin is sensitive, use that to your advantage. Gentle grazing with fingertips, licking, sucking, just make sure she is aching with anticipation before you finally penetrate her. I don't know about other girls, but for example, the neck, shoulders, and back area are great erogenous zones.

Also, I don't know about every girl, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of girls like oral sex. No, not just giving, but receiving. There lies the beauty of reciprocity. Here's another little secret, a combination of manual and oral is practically guaranteed to make her scream, especially if you can find her clitoris, which isn't really that hard. She's probably more than willing to show you if you just ask. Once you've made her come once, it won't be hard to do it again while you're actually having sex.

And once again, make it last, and make it count during the act itself. You've gotten this far, so don't blow it now. When you're absolutely sure that there's no way you can last any longer, and that she's had her fill, completely let go. It might actually feel better than the old "in and out." Oh yeah, and don't forget to wrap it up, wear a condom, and don't forget to stay with the girl. Talk to her, maybe cuddle. Who knows? It might not be as boring as you thought it would be.

Thus ends the information exchange...

But anyway, back to this guy. He might not look like much, but every guy should aim to be as conscientious as this guy. Girls, give him a chance...but not before I'm done with him.

That's it for now, happy hunting!